Three, you choose

Campus sketch script: short script lines of humorous cross talk sketch

Campus sketch

Characters: League branch secretary, Xiao Ai, Xiao Ling, Xiao Wu

Scene: classroom

League branch secretary: classmates, classmates, comrades, compatriots, the same. . . Same. . . With what! Please listen to me!

three people: go ahead.

communist youth league secretary: are you listening?

three people: I'm listening!

communist youth league secretary: really?

three people: really!

communist youth league secretary: are you sure?

three people: ok.

Communist Youth League Secretary: No remorse?

three people: no regrets.

communist youth league secretary: are you serious? Did you lie to me?

three people: will you say it or not?

communist youth league secretary: oh, I'm starting to talk! -What am I going to say?

three people fainted.

communist youth league secretary: ah! ! ! ! That's right

three people sit up.

communist youth league secretary: I really forgot what I was going to say!

three people fainted again.

communist youth league secretary: ok, let's get to the point, you can't get drunk and live a dream! You must constantly strive for self-improvement, volunteer, self-reliance, self-reliance, and self-reliance. . . Make a good change and boycott Japanese goods!

Xiaoling: What a mess!

communist youth league secretary: Xiaoling! Why do you sleep in class?

Xiaoling: I am sleepy, so I sleep!

communist youth league secretary: why don't you sleep in the dormitory?

Xiaoling: I want to! But the teacher won't let me go!

communist youth league secretary: can't you sleep after class?

Xiaoling: I will sleep after class!

communist youth league secretary: so what do you do in the evening?

Xiaoling: What do you do in the evening?

communist youth league secretary: go to sleep!

Xiaoling: We have the same habit!

communist youth league secretary: what do you do besides sleeping?

Xiaoling: It's very important! -Eat!

communist youth league secretary: what about studying?

Xiaoling: I also want to ask this question!

communist youth league secretary: classmates! Please correct your attitude! Why do you sleep all day?

Xiaoling: Yes!

communist youth league secretary: can't you stay up all night?

Xiaoling fainted.

Xiao Ai: Ha ha ha!

communist youth league secretary: Xiao Ai, why do you always play games?

Xiao Ai: Psychological needs!

communist youth league secretary: what's interesting about the game? Just play after school! I despise you who play games the most. You have no technical content at all! Tell your teacher is very angry, and the consequences will be serious!

Xiao Wu: Haha, you hung up again!

communist youth league secretary: and you, Xiao Wu!

Xiao Wu: Yes!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Look at your day. Apart from dating girls and taking a tea walk, is it worthwhile for you to soak in all your achievements?

Xiao Wu: Yes! There is no bright future! -No pretty girls!

communist youth league secretary: there is no bright future-no bright future!

Students, classmates, comrades and fellow students-

Just say it!

communist youth league secretary: with what people!

three people fainted.

communist youth league secretary: let's burn our youth!

Xiaoling: No matches!

communist youth league secretary: work hard!

Xiao Ai: I have no strength!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Get rid of your's bad habits!

Xiao Wu: It won't abandon me!

communist youth league secretary: come on, let's work hard together!

three people get down: alas!

Communist Youth League Secretary: Come on, hurry up and let's-

The bell rings.

communist youth league secretary:---eat!

three people: yeah!

communist youth league secretary: how could you do this? Are you so worthy of the party, the country, the people and your mother? Be worthy of me?

Xiao Ai feels something: Mom!

communist youth league secretary: hey!

Xiao Ai: Take advantage of me!

communist youth league secretary: it was an accident! music!

Tang Bohu (speaking softly), Chou-heung, Chou-heung's mother (a tall boy, imitating a woman's accent), narrator, soundtrack (he can play the flute, and preferably the guitar), an audience child care, child A, child B, and Tang Bohu's attendant (a boy, with a northeast accent). While blowing, the narrator said)

Narrator: Dear audience-friends, have you ever heard the sad, touching, romantic and tender story of Tong Pak-hu lighting Chou-heung? What, have you heard of it? (Facing the audience, with a surprised expression, the music stops, and then the music starts according to the original calm tone.) That's right. What you have heard before is artificially decorated. This time, I will tell you an original story of Tang Bohu ordering autumn fragrance without any carving. The story happened hundreds of years ago, and there was a leader of the four great talents in the south of the Yangtze River, Comrade Tang Bohu, who was elected by a show of hands of the whole village. (Next, lead Tang Bohu by hand)

(Tang and his entourage)

Tang: (Shake the fan and go up) Taohuawu, Taohuaan, Taohuaan; Peach Blossom Fairy breeds peach trees and picks them for drinks. When you wake up, you just sit in front of the flowers, and when you are drunk, you come to sleep under the flowers; Half drunk and half awake day after day, bloom spends years and years. I am SHEN WOO, whose reputation is unparalleled in the world, loved by everyone, met by bloom, had a flat tire, paid equal attention to wisdom and beauty, and was the embodiment of hero and chivalry, Tang Bohu. I am not only elegant in speech, but also good in quality. I can be called the ...

follower: rice.

don: hmm?

sidekick: oh, no, exemplary. Hey, hey, (Tang Bohu was very happy when he heard the first half of the sentence, and very angry when he heard the second half) If we say that our young master is talented, he will be punished, then he will have to be cut to pieces; If it is a crime to say that our master is virtuous, then he is guilty of heinous crimes; If it is sinful to say that our young master is handsome, then he can only be thunderstruck.

don: don't you dare say, I'll hit you.

minion: hey, hey, grandpa, the imperial calendar says that you have peach blossom luck today?

Tang: What are you talking about, boy? How can you say that I have good luck today? When do you think I have bad luck?

(bottom)

Narrator: One day, Tang Bohu met Comrade Qiu Xiang, a peerless beauty. At that time, Qiu Xiang had just returned from shopping for the old lady from the supermarket. On the way, two children, one in Lu Yu and one in, blocked the road and robbed.

(Chou-heung is holding a big bag of roll paper, and children A and B are on the other side. A is wearing a backward hat, and B is leaning on a crutch)

A and B: Hey, I planted this tree, and I opened this road. If you want to cross from now on, stay and buy road money!

Chou-heung: That little girl gave you something, and you just let me go?

(Chou-heung gives things to Party A and Party B)

(Party B just wants to leave, and Party A pulls on Party B)

A: Wait ... wait, I ... I want to rob ... first.

(Tang Bohu suddenly jumps out from Chou-heung's side)

Tang: sunflower acupuncturist!

(A, B settle down)

Tang: Comrade, have you watched the news recently? Even if we don't watch the news, listen to the radio and read the newspaper, we can know that the party teaches us to be proud of unity and mutual assistance and ashamed of harming others and benefiting ourselves; Be proud of obeying the law and discipline, and be ashamed of breaking the law and discipline. I despise you people who rob women most. You have no technical content at all. After so many years of reform and opening up, it's sad that you haven't even changed your lines. (pointing to B), look at you. You're walking around when your legs and feet are not good. You're also robbing me like this. If the police uncle comes to arrest you, you won't even know how to run. (pointing to armor), and you, look at you, wearing so little. What if you are frozen? You just have to consider your parents who gave birth to you and raised you, right? Blink your eyes when you understand. Sunflower acupuncturist.

a, b: oh, big brother, don't say it. I dare you Tang people to be so vain. You were born with the Tang Priest from the same mother, right? My younger brothers will never dare again. It's really killing the dead.

Ben: What are you talking about? The avalanche!

(A, B)

Chou-heung: I'm afraid I would have ...

Tang: You're welcome, miss.

Chou-heung: Your son is handsome. May I ask your name?

Tang: My last name is Tang, and my first name is Bohu. What's the name of the girl?

Chou-heung: just call me Chou-heung.

don: then please allow me to take the girl home.

Chou-heung: Then please, son.

(As the narrator said, Bo Hu and Chou-heung walked up and down the stage, pretending to chat, followed by the footman, holding a large light bulb in his hand and playing the romance of love with the guitar)

Narrator: When Tang Bohu saw Chou-heung, it was really refreshing, his waist was sore, his legs stopped hurting, and even he was energetic to propose marriage.

Chou-heung: Son, my home has arrived.

Bohu: Unfortunately, it's time to say goodbye again. Contact me often in the future. Be sure to send me a message. I am a M-Zone user, my site, and I am in charge!

Chou-heung: I am a Unicom user, covering both the ground and underground! See you later.

(Under Chou-heung, Bohu is still in a daze, watching Chou-heung leave)

Follow-up: Sister Chou-heung turns around.

Bohu: Tai Sen changed to table tennis.

sidekick: Sister Chou-heung turned around.

Bohu: Yang Guo fell in love with Li Moqiu.

sidekick: Sister Chou-heung turns around three times.

Bohu: Monks use Piaorou from now on. Hey, you're kidding me!

(below)

Narrator: In a few days, Chou-heung House will choose a husband for Chou-heung. As for the applicants, there are still many.

(Chou-heung and Qiu Mu are the same as above)

Qiu Mu: How can it be called a lot?

Chou-heung: That's quite a lot. Mommy, what topic do you think we should give the applicant a hard time today?

Qiu Mu: Ha ha ha ha, sweet, you don't have to worry about that, because mother has her own clever tricks.

(Tang and his attendant)

Attendant: Young Master, I just went to the scene to have a look, and I saw that the audience was dark, but I couldn't even see my head when I saw my hair. What a lot of Chou-heung wire!

Bohu: What is wire?

Ben: Hard-core fans, how come there is no culture! It is said that Chou-heung's mother is getting old and fierce. (Chou-heung shows her muscles at the back.) People who chase Chou-heung either have broken arms or lost legs, and even (use their hands as knives to show Bo Hu's body).

Bohu: Hey, hey, hey, it seems that we have to do something small today. Let's go together. You go first and act almost, and then I'll go again. This is called contrast with difference, which is even better.

Ben: It'sunfair.

Bo Hu: Wow, are you kidding? I'm your boss. You should listen to me. It's called comparison. After the job is done, I'll invite you to the fifth floor of Wan Xiu Garden for dinner!

Ben: Hey, this place has never been before. Well, I'll sacrifice for you once. Take care of my seventh uncle, then I'll learn from Fan Wei. I'm stupid.

Chou-heung: No.38!

(The attendant comes to Qiumu, smirking, and Qiumu turns around the attendant)

Chou-heung: Do you have IQ, so you should apply?

follower: I ... what I……IQ?

Qiu mu: I tell you, you don't understand either.

Ben: You ... You tell me the password ... and I can use it.

Qiu Mu: Tell ... tell you ... you can't use it either.

Ben: You ...

Qiu Mu: Forget it. It's too much trouble to talk to you. Please listen to the topic (left arm stretched forward, fist clenched) and talk about the content of "eight honors and eight disgraces"

minion: what "eight honors and eight disgraces"?

Qiu Mu: Then tell me about Theory of Three Represents.

follower: Theory of Three Represents, eight honors and eight disgraces, three? Eight?

Qiu Mu: Bagoya Road, with this quality, you dare to apply. Go home!

Attendant: Hey, madam, this is a little joke. Listen carefully. (Take out Allegro) The East is red, the sun is rising, and the motherland is soaring like a dragon. The urban and rural economy has developed greatly, and a harmonious society is happy. National unity is like a rock, and we must persist in reunifying the motherland; It is the most glorious to love the motherland and the most shameful to harm it. Love the motherland, love the people, and be enthusiastic about serving others; Do more good for the collective and often offer love to the society. Serving the people is the most glorious, and deviating from the people is the most shameful. Superstition, heresy, persistent seeking truth from childhood; Advocating science is the most glorious, ignorance is the most shameful. Be kind to classmates, just like sisters and brothers; When you encounter difficulties, help everyone. When you have difficulties, help yourself. Unity and mutual assistance is the most glorious, and it is the most shameful to harm others and benefit themselves. Relic takes justice and aims high, and makes mistakes without concealing them; Honesty and trustworthiness are the most glorious, and forgetting righteousness at the expense of profit is the most shameful. In school, be disciplined and keep in mind the rules of students; Learn laws and regulations, abide by the law and discipline, and contribute to the legal society. Violation of discipline should be dealt with, and violation of law should be punished; It is the most glorious to obey the law, and the most shameful to violate the law and discipline. Hard work is a tradition, so be diligent and thrifty. Form good habits when you are young, and remember to serve your country when you grow up. Extravagance and waste should be resisted, and greed for enjoyment should be prohibited; Hard work is the most glorious, and arrogance and extravagance are the most shameful. How's it going, madam?

Qiu mu: ok, it's yours!

minion: hey, hey, young master, young master, you want me.

don: hey, boy, didn't I make you act almost? Why did you behave so well? Bo Hu was very angry and the consequences were very serious. (stomping)

Attendant: Are you numb?

don: I'm numb.

Chou-heung: Mom, why is she numb?

Qiu Mu: Nonsense, you are numb when you stamp! It's okay, take two steps!

Tang: Come on, I'm coming. If you have any questions, just come on!

Qiu Mu: I heard that you are a scholar in man of great talent, Tang Bohu. I want to test you and talk about the next sentence of "outside the castle peak building outside the mountain"

Tang: When will the West Lake dance stop?

Qiu Mu: The total length of the English Channel is ...

Tang: 35 kilometers.

Qiu Mu: A frog has 1 mouths, two eyes and four legs. What about the 243 frogs?

Tang: 243 frogs have 243 mouths, 486 eyes and 972 legs.

Qiu Mu: Which ancient man in China ran fastest?

Tang: Cao Cao.

minion: grandpa, why?

Tang: Speak of the devil!

Qiu Mu: It's no good for men to know too much. However, I can test whether you are a good man at home. Then tell me about the method of steaming meat with flour.

Tang: fen ... fen ... fen steamed meat? Fortunately, I love it. Listen carefully. We can mix sugar, salt and starch and add some Sanhuang cooking wine. Three spoonfuls of onion and ginger noodles, mince garlic, add pork to cool, and steam on the fire. (say quickly)

Qiu Mu: Little white face, not practical at first glance, not my type. You go home.

Chou-heung: Mom, you haven't asked about the eight honors and eight disgraces.

Qiu Mu: Well, I'll give you another chance to talk about the content of "eight honors and eight disgraces".

Tang: Hahahaha, fortunately, I was prepared. comeonbaby! (The following actions are performed while following the class)

I shoot one, I shoot one, eight honors and eight disgraces should be kept in mind;

You shoot two, I shoot two, endangering the motherland and being spurned;