A very interesting phenomenon: when I was ten years old, I hated it from the bottom of my heart when I looked at twenty years old. How old am I! Looking at the middle-aged people in their twenties, I can't help but feel bitter contempt from the heart. I will be numb when I live there!

In the confide box of "Dear Qian Jia", I often receive such letters:

A write to me. What should I do? When I was in college, I did well in school and my family background was OK. I'm a good girl and I always obey the rules, but what happened next? Do a job for decades, get married and have children, that's all?

Write to me. What should I do? I just graduated from college, have no goal in life, and don't know what I can do. I graduated from a major I never liked, and then I worked in a job I didn't like all my life. My parents forced me to go on a blind date for two years and then get married. I have a child and live the same life as my parents. so this is it？

C write to me, what should I do? I have been with my boyfriend for many years, and I have done the same job in the office for several years. I really want to give up everything and travel around the world. Now my life makes me breathless, because I know the next trajectory with my eyes closed, get married, have children and retire, and take care of my grandchildren. so this is it？

D write to me, what should I do? I come from the countryside, and I owe my family a sum of money for going to college in the city. I finally graduated, but after reading so many books, I really want to go abroad and see the world like my peers. But my parents need me, so I have to go back to my hometown to find a job, exchange my youth for survival, and then get married and have children early according to tradition. Alive, that's all?

I looked at my parents. I don't know how they suddenly grew so big. It seems that they have never been young since I was born. Could it be that they were given a function called "destined to be ordinary" at birth?

People all over the world live in their own "world"

Otherwise, what kind of life are we going to live? "energetic, rich, and have stories to tell." Is it? So when 17 years old, I decided to leave home and see the world. I always feel that the outside world is huge and wonderful, and others live a life we don't know.

In macau. When I walk to school in the morning, I often see a small bus full of local children in uniforms. Side by side with the bus is a motor vehicle picked up by parents, a tender face twisted by the wind, and a heavy schoolbag behind it. Earn a little money in my spare time to make up lessons for a local girl. Like mainland college entrance examination students, she faces the pressure of entering a higher school, with huge acne on her face and reciting English like a monk chanting scriptures.

In Holland. Many foreign students in China don't want to go out. They eat instant noodles in China at home, make friends in China and go to China's website. Even the members of homework help are from China. Part-time job is a way to see the world. I work as an assistant for a Hong Kong woman in a travel company. She escaped from the crowded Hong Kong, but still lived a Hong Kong-style life in the Netherlands: making friends in Hong Kong, speaking Cantonese, drinking morning tea, eating a pineapple bag before going to work in the afternoon and playing Cantonese mahjong on weekends.

In Ireland. Among a group of exchange students from European countries, as the only Asian, I often see small groups clustered by nationality: Finland, Netherlands, Ireland and Spain. I know the Spaniards best. Although they are warm and friendly, they only get together with people from their own country most of the time. Many Spanish exchange students I know stayed in Ireland for a whole year and gathered at their own parties all day. Their English didn't improve and it was even difficult to speak.

In Barcelona. Although the British in the same company can speak some Spanish, once they get off work, they often attend parties and carnivals in Barcelona with the British. They often go to English bars to celebrate English festivals and talk about what happened in London. Their meals are not affected by Spain's unique schedule.

In Shanghai. My parents still live a simple life. They get up at six, go home to cook at six and go to bed at ten. I met a group of foreigners who work and study here. Some people stayed here for two years and only said hello and thank you. They don't even have any friends in China. Most of them are with roommates who are outsiders. After work, buy VPN, climb the wall and brush Facebook, get hungry at McDonald's or Pizza Hut, and go to disco parties in the middle of the night.

I found that people all over the world live in their own "world", and there is little difference, because that is the so-called "life". San Mao once said in "Walking Up and Down in Qian Shan": "How many gorgeous scenes are waiting in life, not much, not much, even if you travel, it is mostly ordinary years."

The outside world is wonderful and helpless.

After all, is there an outside world? If you ask this question to the children in the ivory tower, you must nod your head hard and look forward to it.

If you throw this question to those people in China who are eager to go abroad, you must nod your head more violently. We have been listening to a song since childhood, called "The outside world is wonderful, and the outside world is helpless". Just hearing the wonderful, I feel excited. As for helplessness, I have tasted all kinds of helplessness in real life. It seems that the wonderful outweighs the helpless.

But what about the facts? I will always remember the first time I left home and came to Macau. Go back to your residence alone and close the door. Suddenly, the world became quiet and lonely. I realized that life is the same everywhere. Life in the house is similar, bed, refrigerator, desk. I thought I was in Shanghai in a trance. When I turned on the computer, I browsed the web pages I had read before. I open QQ, MSN's old high school classmates are online, and the status is exactly the same as before I left. Everything is still in the original place, but I went to another place.

How many international students are full of disappointment at studying abroad at a certain moment, and even look forward to going home immediately?

Even thousands of miles away from home, many people just stay indoors and play computer games, which is similar to that in China. I know several international students from China who are working or staying in the dormitory, playing games and surfing the Internet, and living a closed life. I still remember that in 2005, there were two consecutive suicides of China students in a Canadian university within three weeks. They are all top doctoral students, but they are short of friends on weekdays, and they always look depressed when talking to people. Computers and networks are everything in life.

Wait for China time, miss friends, or get up in the middle of the night to watch them chat online; Foreigners themselves can't laugh at funny things. But if that's all, why choose to study abroad? If you come abroad just to live in the circle of China people, live and think in the way of China people, use Chinese every day, even learn dialects from all over China, eat Chinese food, and stay in your room online in China, even if you finally get your diploma, it is only a proof, but it doesn't mean that you have really lived abroad.

"The usual circle of friends is still in China, so I am not willing to contact foreigners when I go to China City for dinner." . Then, even if you go out, it's no different from staying.

There is no outside world.

A college graduate said that if you want to go abroad and experience injuries, that's life, but your parents don't allow it, and your age is in front of you. Now I'm at work, and I meet a group of people who are muddling along and want to escape.

A boy said that he had never read your article before going abroad, and he thought it was wonderful and looked forward to it. I stayed abroad for two months before I knew the ups and downs best.

An excellent middle school graduate chose the wrong university, and all those who went abroad at home were those who couldn't get into the university and were blown up by their parents. This group of people sang in nightclubs in central London every day until graduation.

A girl from an ordinary family came out and found that everyone around her was talking about shopping, buying brand-name cosmetics, having parties all day and opening KTV abroad. She felt that the world was different, different from the simplicity of the past, and saw a different rich second generation world.

The only son in a big city, all his family are Buddhists, and after he came out, he enjoyed the student apartment with others, got along with the dirty kitchen and the best roommate, complaining repeatedly.

Is this the outside world we want to see?

Kindness, malice, wealth and irresponsibility ... People are connected, and the world can be divided into countries and cities, but the love stories of affection, friendship and love coincide. In other words, there is no outside world at all. As long as you see the world of "human heart", the world is actually very small.

5. What is the meaning of travel?

Some people travel, and all they get in the end are a few postcards sent to them and the "visit here" in the digital camera; Some people walk around in the park next door, but what they see is the unique life in spring, summer, autumn and winter: an old aunt is walking and an old man is playing chess, and what they see is the peace and happiness of life.

I have always hated a question: "How many European countries did you go to this time?" At best, it became a childhood trip, only the excitement before departure, and I don't remember anything after that. Except for a few photos in front of the marker, I printed them and put them on the window at home to collect dust.

Mountains, rivers, history and humanities all exist objectively; The hearts of people all over the world are fleshy in structure.

The real meaning of traveling or going far is to know yourself again and take care of your "world" again. A beautiful trip, walking, leaving all the daily chores behind, feeling empty, like a helicopter. Give yourself a brand-new perspective to think about the road you have traveled. Don't think about how many places you will go and how far you will fly. Just with a heart to see the scenery, I have a simple goal: to know myself again on the road and talk to the world in my heart.

The world is small and people's hearts are big. So a good trip will show you the vast world and the smallness of your coordinates on the earth. Before going out, we read various travel books. We can ride a bike, take a bus, be a couch surfer and travel around the world without spending a lot of money. Looking at the stories in the book and those photos, I said emotionally, "This is the real life!" " ""people must be on the road. "

Actually, does anyone really think about the words "life" and "on the road"? After work, I didn't take the direct subway, but changed to three buses to go home. Listening to music, eating scallion cakes and watching the traffic outside the window during rush hour are also small adventures on the road. Go to the night market hand in hand with the person you like, even if a rubber band costs two dollars, you can bargain with the stall owner. Ten minutes later, you proudly appeared at the food stall with the trophy, swigging Wang Laoji and chewing mutton. What can be done in India can also be done at home. This is the simple pleasure of "life".

To put it bluntly, isn't living to eat and drink Lazarus?

In fact, people in every corner are living a similar life.

I went around again and returned to this question: Do I have to go abroad to be free?

The so-called freedom, lies in the inner freedom, open to accept the world, but at the same time maintain their own views. Even if you are locked in a small room, you can still draw a vast blue sky on a small piece of paper. Even if I can't go out to see the world, I have a treasure and love for every grass and tree in my heart.

After all, not all of us can go to "100 places that people will go all their lives", and I don't think those who "travel around Europe with backpacks in one month" will really understand Europe. You can sit in the college entrance examination classroom and look out from a window. It is still the vast blue sky, and the highest mountain range, the deepest trench and the softest desert projected in your mind.

So, you're still free.

Moreover, if a mute falls in love with singing and a deaf person falls in love with symphony, think about how free you are compared with them. I often recommend others to pay attention to social news, not to see that others are worse off than us, but to see the vast world from another angle. Look at your present world from the perspective of an irrelevant person. Usually, we unconsciously put ourselves in a glass jar. You need to look at it from another angle to really see your position.

Reading those travel books, we are often attracted and feel that we have to go, but the reality does not allow everyone to go. Can't you live your own life? Moreover, reading these books and the road I have traveled, I found that people in every corner are living a similar life.

People have no borders, friendship, hatred, dreams, laziness, persistence, boredom and emotion are all connected.

7. The life you want to live is just an unexplored interest in life.

Dutch landlord couple, very old, still like to ride bicycles around on weekends. On weekdays, the man works downstairs, gets up on time every morning and cooks at night. Women buy food for work, and occasionally children sometimes visit.

Ordinary families in Barcelona, when they have a little time on weekends, go to the small towns around Catalonia to enjoy the sunshine. Usually men get up at six o'clock, get off work at two o'clock in the afternoon and sit in front of the sofa watching TV and drinking coffee. Women get up at nine o'clock, do housework, go to work, get home at seven o'clock in the evening, continue to cook, and men sleep. She went on reading in the living room.

My parents in Shanghai, spring, summer, autumn and winter, wake up in the alarm clock at 6: 30, go to work at 8: 00, get off work at 5: 00, watch TV after dinner, and go to bed at 10. During the Spring Festival and National Day, I am too lazy to climb Huangshan and go to Hainan Island to eat seafood. But walking downstairs in the community. I met Lao Zhang and Lao Wang on the way, bragging. When I went to the supermarket, I bought a bag of salt. My life is very happy.

It's just that our hearts have built a wall between the outside world and the inside world, but there is no outside world at all. With the curiosity of the baby, observe and experience, and you will find that the whole world is really too small. Unexpectedly, there are traces to follow, but what you can't accept is actually very reasonable.

Eat, drink, and live in the present, and live in the present. Life is so simple that you can see the bottom at a glance. The whole world will work, the whole world will get married and have children, and the whole world is living a simple life. We shout "don't want to live in the system", but living is a limit. Can you live to be 300 years old? Can you fly into space? Can you change a dime into a hundred dollars? A broad heart is infinite. Isn't it a blessing to have children, get married, work, retire and die of old age? Parents and grandparents, even without passports, have the right to a happy life.

The life you want to live, you are living, but you haven't found it interesting yet.

Your world is the whole world, there is no outside world at all.