sketch name: selling and buying steamed buns on National Day

sketch scene: roadside.

sketch props: selling steamed stuffed buns and tricycles. Six steamed buns.

The sketch featured Zhao Mingyang. Zhang Wang.

sketch opening-

Zhang Wang rides on a tricycle: Avanti's steamed stuffed bun! Avanti's steamed stuffed bun! My steamed stuffed bun is a special secret recipe for Arabs, which guarantees that you will be dizzy immediately after eating it ... No, it's a coma.

Zhao Mingyang walks over: I want six steamed buns, but ... there's no aspirin in them, is there?

Zhang Wang: What? A dead beer cream? My steamed stuffed bun has never drunk this brand of beer. It's not an alcoholic, and its capacity for liquor is poor. It pours as soon as it is drunk.

Zhao Mingyang: No wonder his face is all wrinkled. No wonder he looks very flat. It's probably past his sixties.

Zhang Wang: It scares you to death. My steamed stuffed bun won an American Oscar and a Nobel Prize ...

Zhao Mingyang: Then where was your steamed stuffed bun born? What education have you received?

Zhang Wang: I'm not its guardian, and I wasn't there when it was born. How should I know?

Zhao Mingyang: Poor thing, I grew up in an orphanage!

Zhang Wang: I have been supporting it!

Zhao Mingyang: Isn't it the Virgin Mary?

Zhang Wang: Look, it just came out of the cage and it's steaming hot!

Zhao Mingyang took a closer look: Is it too low-grade fever?

Zhang Wang: The fever has just gone down, which means you are healthy and normal.

Zhao Mingyang: Did you just come back from the hospital?

Zhang Wang: My steamed stuffed bun has never been to the hospital, taken medicine, had an injection or been hospitalized.

Zhao Mingyang: Thank God, I'm glad I'm not sick.

Zhang Wang: However, I have just been to the obstetrics and gynecology department.

Zhao Mingyang was surprised: huh? ! Pregnant?

Zhang Wang: The doctor said that there was nothing wrong with it. It was a false alarm.

Zhao Mingyang: I said, why does your steamed stuffed bun look so fat?

Zhang Wang: At first, my thoughts were the same as yours. I also thought that this was a sign before pregnancy. Anyway, it was nausea, nausea, craving for acid and so on.

Zhao Mingyang: Why do I feel that you are my doctor? Am I pregnant?

Zhang Wang: Before that, it was all misdiagnosed by doctors. You just buy a hundred steamed stuffed buns, which are delicious in color, flavor and taste, which is equivalent to a full banquet in Manchu and Han dynasties.

Zhao Mingyang: A hundred steamed buns? It's either dying or getting pregnant.

Zhang Wang: Don't be afraid. My steamed stuffed bun is a first-class anti-terrorism elite, and it can protect you for life.

Zhao Mingyang: Why not a second-rate anti-corruption elite?

Zhang Wang: At least I don't want him to be a corrupt person, otherwise I have to educate him well when I go home.

Zhao Mingyang: Like father, like son.

Zhang Wang: Thank you for your compliment! Buy some steamed buns, Jianghu first aid!

Zhao Mingyang: am I the savior? Well, I'll give my life and buy some.

Zhang Wang gave Zhao Mingyang six steamed stuffed buns: Only a mother is good in the world, and a child with a mother is like a treasure. Where can you find happiness without her arms? ......

Zhao Mingyang: I'll let your steamed stuffed bun sleep in my stomach.

Zhang Wang: I just don't know when to go home to visit my relatives. Come back and see me.

Zhao Mingyang: It's all sold to me, and I'm its guardian from now on!

Zhang Wang sang with great emotion: Come back, come back, wanderer ...

Zhao Mingyang: Don't worry, I won't go abroad for a while. I've been staying at home and going nowhere.

Zhang Wang: Boy, don't say I'm ruthless. I lost six children at once, but I'm not afraid, because there will be more children in the future.

Zhao Mingyang pointed to the steamed stuffed bun and said, Well ... have you been weighed? How many Jin?

Zhang Wang: When it was born, it was too late to get a birth certificate, and it didn't even drink its mother's milk.

Zhao Mingyang: I wonder how you take care of it?

Zhang Wang: it's good that I can raise it so big. What about you? You still eat it bite by bite after you buy it. Look, what an obedient child!

Zhao Mingyang: I will treat it well when I get back!

Zhang Wang: My steamed stuffed bun, that's my specialty. After making money today, I will go back to eat abalone, shark's fin and lobster, which I have to eat every day anyway.

Zhao Mingyang: You sell steamed buns just to eat those expensive dishes?

Zhang Wang: You're not my wife. Why do you care about my private life?

Zhao Mingyang: That is, the steamed stuffed bun I bought has a private life, and it's none of your business anyway.

Zhang Wang: Enjoy it. You can burp after eating, which means it is absolutely delicious.

Zhao Mingyang muttered to himself: I don't know ... Is the health guard unsanitary?

Zhang Wang heard all of them: Don't worry, I have read them health care books at home, and I have to recite the scriptures once a day, which probably makes my ears cocoon.

Zhao Mingyang: But will they understand?

Zhang Wang: If you don't understand, you have to understand, otherwise I will throw them away and don't want them.

Zhao Mingyang was dumbfounded and said, How harsh!

Zhang Wang: Of course, if you do something wrong, you must be severely criticized. How can you tolerate children's gradual corruption? Absolutely not, absolutely not!

Zhao Mingyang: No matter what, you should be gentle even if you do something wrong. So is it ... is it a boy or a girl?

Zhang Wang: Oh, I really don't see that you still have the backward idea of son preference.

Zhao Mingyang: If it's a woman, I'm worried that after eating, will I become a woman immediately?

Zhang Wang: huh? !

End of sketch

Liang Zhu (funny sketch script)

Act I

Location: Zhu Yingtai's home. Three chairs and a table.

people: Yingtai mother (hereinafter referred to as Yingtai mother), Yingtai father (hereinafter referred to as Yingtai father), Ma Gongzi, housekeeper and several people in her entourage.

(Yingtai's father stormed out and Yingtai's mother caught up with him)

Yingmu: Husband, husband ~ (pulls Yingfu)

Yingfu (turns around angrily): It's no use saying anything. Yingtai's marriage must not be so hasty!

Ying-mu: But, husband, Ma Gongzi is serious, and Mingmei is marrying ... (interrupted by Ying-fu)

Ying-fu: I have told you many times that it is a new era of reform and opening up. Children's marriage can no longer be arranged by parents ... (interrupted by off-site voice)

Off-site voice: Ma Gongzi received a gift ~

(a housekeeper-like man stepped up quickly with a gift list in his hand)

Butler: My son sent a villain to send these gifts to the second old man. It's no respect, but I still hope to accept them. (Opening the ceremony list and reading it out, the attendants go on stage with gifts in their hands) A bottle of Maotai ~ a cloud of smoke ~ a set of diamond jewelry ~ a set of KFC take-away family barrels ~ a set of home theaters ~ a Cadillac ~ being repaired in the factory ~ an Eiffel Tower in Paris, France ...

Father and mother: Ah?

Butler: Oh, no, it's a set of tickets for visiting the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France ~ and the West Lake Longjing, Beijing Roast Duck 18th Street, Twist, Shaanxi Paomo, Northeast cauldron dishes, Wang Zhi and Stinky Tofu, all of which have been sent to the kitchen to pay tribute ~ ~ ~

(Mother Ying knelt down and took the gift slip respectfully with both hands, and the butler left)

Mother Ying: Husband, Take a look, Ma Gongzi has sent so many gifts, and our Yingtai belongs to him ...

English father: What do you know as a woman? Look at Ma Gongzi's virtue, and see how it looks like a toilet ... (Ma Gongzi has already played and stood behind his father)

Ma Gongzi (takes out a handkerchief to wipe his sweat): Thank you for not saying that I look like Feng Gong.

Ying Fu (hearing the sound turn around): You ~

Ma Gongzi (opening the folding fan with a bang): Yes, I'm ashamed to spend the moon, and I'm drowning in wild geese. man of great talent looks like a fairy, Yushu, Feng Ling, and a pear blossom presses the Haitang people to give me the nickname-Ma Decai, the embodiment of beauty and wisdom that can coexist in heaven and earth, and hero and chivalry. (takes out a handful of paper money and scatters it in the air, making it look like a fairy girl)

Yingmu (rushes to meet her): Oh, please sit down quickly ~ (opposite the court) Like a flower, go and make tea for Ma Gongzi ~ (bent down to pick up the money)

(a male voice outside the court: yes, madam. )

Ma Gongzi (sits down slowly): Uncle and aunt, I don't know about the next marriage with Yingtai ...

Yingmu: Oh, of course ~ (interrupted by Yingfu)

Yingfu: No way! (stands up angrily and points to Ma Gongzi) Do you know what Marxism–Leninism is?

Ma Gongzi: I don't know ...

Ying Fu: Do you know what reform and opening up are?

Ma Gongzi: I don't know ...

Ying Fu: Do you know what the Nasdaq index is?

childe ma: I don't know ...

yingfu: do you know what "Who are you" is?

Ma Gongzi: ...

English father: Do you know who is Leslie Cheung, who is Maggie Cheung, who is Ronaldo, who is Yao Ming, who is Tom Cruise and who is Britney Branny? (Turning to Yingmu) Look at you. How can I rest assured that such an idiot who knows nothing told me to marry Yingtai?

Ma Gongzi: Uncle, I ...

Ying Fu (turns to Ma Gongzi): What are you? What do you have but money!

Ma Gongzi: My uncle really knows my little husband like the back of his hand. My little husband just brought a gift of 3 million yuan this time ...

Yingfu: Bah! Do you think money can buy everything? I tell you, true love is priceless! Do you think that 3 million can ... (gradually reacting to the taste) 3 million ... (Going over to Ma Gongzi in a low voice) Is that 3 million for me alone or for two ...

Ma Gongzi: Of course, it's half for my uncle and aunt ...

Yingfu: Absolutely not!

Ma Gongzi: Then 46-41 ...

Ying Fu: 37-41, she's three and I'm seven, otherwise it's out of the question!

Mr. Ma: Then do as your uncle says! (pulls out a contract) If you bother to sign it, you will agree to my marriage with Yingtai ... (The contract was snatched away by the British father)

Yingfu: Of course, I sincerely agree with 11,111 (pulls out a pen to prepare for signing). Hey, Ma Gongzi, is that 3 million yuan for cash or a check ...

Ma Gongzi: Just 311 yuan.

Ying-fu: Yes, just 311 yuan. What kind of check ... (pen stops and looks at Ma Gongzi in amazement) 311 yuan? Isn't it 3 million?

Ma Gongzi: 3 million is the total cost of this wedding, and the gift for you today is 311 yuan ...

(My father threw the contract underground)

Ma Gongzi (bent down to pick up the contract): Uncle, if you don't want enough money, we can discuss it again ...

My father: It's not about money! (sobbing) He can't afford to lose that man ...

Ma Gongzi: My uncle taught me that such an important issue as marriage should not be measured by money. However, my husband heard that my uncle likes to travel, so he bought a holiday villa in Hawaii the other day ...

Yingfu: Are you serious?

Ma Gongzi (pulls out a bunch of keys): This is the key to the holiday villa, and I have already bought the air ticket, as long as my uncle agrees to my marriage with Yingtai ... (The contract was snatched away by my English father)

My English father: You won't delay my holiday time ... (I just pulled out my pen to sign it, but it was interrupted by an off-site voice)

Off-site voice: The old lady is not good! Miss is missing!

English father: Yingtai! (grabbing the key from Ma Gongzi in the process of running off the stage)

Yingmu: My Yingtai! (running off the stage)

Ma Gongzi (paused): My key! (Chasing down the stage)

(When the lights are dim, the first act ends)

The second act

Location: Liang Shanbo's private school.

people: Mr. Xue, Liang Shanbo, Zhu Yingtai, accompanied by several scholars.

voice-over: Zhu Yingtai has been wandering around since he ran away from his marriage, and this day he came to the private school where Liang Shanbo studied.

Sir: Guan Guan's dove, in the boat of the river ~ (shaking his head clockwise, narcissistic)

Liang Shanbo (with all the readers): Guan Guan's dove, in the boat of the river ~ (shaking his head counterclockwise, narcissistic)

Sir: Shan Bo, how many times have I told you to.

Liang Shanbo: Yes, sir.

Mr.: My Fair Lady, My Gentleman's Good Ladder ~

Liang Shanbo (with all the readers)