I am a marriage and love counselor of the Women's Federation, and I often deal with such family disputes. Say a few suggestions.

as a person, you can be confused about small things, but never be confused about big things.

your sister has a husband and a husband's family. She's having a confinement, at home, of course.

she wants to come to your home for confinement, which is unreasonable in itself. Your daughter-in-law will definitely disagree. I don't think any woman would agree.

Your small family belongs to you, your wife and children. It really has nothing to do with your sister.

As a distressed sister of my brother, you can give more money and help more, and there is no need to bring it home.

you said that there are many rooms in your house, so it doesn't matter if your sister comes to live. Is this a question of more rooms or less rooms? This is something that undermines the stability of small families.

Your wife is married to you, and she gets along with you, not with your sister and mother.

your wife doesn't agree, and you have no right to let your sister live in.

When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, conflicts will increase. Keeping a distance between mother-in-law and sister-in-law can maintain long-term stability and harmony.

when I was dealing with family disputes in the women's Federation, a large part of the reason for the divorce was the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or the contradiction between daughter-in-law and elder sister-in-law.

What mother-in-law quarreled with her daughter-in-law during confinement, and what sister-in-law found fault with her sister-in-law, were all short-term contradictions among these parents, which led to the deterioration of the relationship between husband and wife and even to divorce.

I think your sister only wants to come to your house to have a baby and have a confinement, and she doesn't consider your wife's feelings at all. It can be seen that your sister's emotional intelligence is not high and she can't handle things.

You bring your sister in, and then your mother will take care of Yuezi. Do you really think life is too good? I didn't think that this group of people were facing each other at home day and night. Can there be no contradiction between this and that?

Do you think your daughter-in-law will be annoyed that she has to help your family clean, do housework and try her best to keep the house clean and tidy? You husband and wife are bound to quarrel.

Man, after marriage, you must learn to separate from family of origin. This separation means that both ideological and economic development should be independent.

Give priority to your own small family, and don't send your parents, siblings and brothers to your small family. We must not listen to our parents, brothers and sisters without principles.

You should know that it is your wife, not your children, who will spend the rest of your life with you. You should put them first.

a lot of troubles in this world are caused by confusion. Be a wise man and don't be confused.

what do you think, friends? Welcome to leave your valuable opinions in the comments section.

what a good brother and sister!

As a person who has been married for more than ten years, I would like to give you a piece of advice: Don't let your sister come to your house to take your mother to have a confinement.

don't wait until there is a lot of smoke and chicken feathers all over the house to regret your original decision.

if you don't give up and think I'm alarmist, I'll give you a glimpse of the powerful relationship. Wait until you have finished reading it, then think about whether to promise your sister.

1. The relationship between your sister and your wife.

that is, the relationship between daughter-in-law and sister-in-law.

this relationship can be maintained well if both sides can think of each other and be considerate of others.

after all, there is no blood relationship.

But obviously, judging from the fact that your sister can make this request, she didn't think about your wife and her sister-in-law. She only thought about herself.

no matter how close your brother and sister are, they get married and have their own small families, so this is relatively independent.

we must break through this clear boundary and get mixed up. I have to say that your sister is not only confused, but also a little selfish. In my personal opinion, I still feel a little sympathetic.

why? confinement requires not only a certain degree of privacy, but also a woman in confinement can dress casually in her own house because she often breastfeeds and washes herself.

But if she comes to your home, you will inevitably meet. Is it convenient?

You may say that I have a nasty mind. You are brothers and sisters, so it doesn't matter.

But in your wife's eyes, she must be uncomfortable. If she is uncomfortable, conflicts will breed, and the family will not be peaceful.

Besides, there is no punctuality in eating time and sleeping time in the next month, which is definitely not what you think. As your sister said, you just need to borrow a room to stay.

doesn't she eat? Aren't you going to the bathroom? Can't she stay up all night to feed the children?

can you guarantee that it will never affect your wife and children?

how is that possible!

2. The relationship between your mother and your wife.

that is, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which has always been a difficult problem.

Smart people know proper limit, understand their respective bottom lines, and get along well.

For example, your wife is a measured person. She is afraid that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, so she looks after the children with her own mother.

There are fewer conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because your wife is straight-tempered and may not turn a corner. It's better not to be together.

Now, if your sister comes to your house to give birth to a baby, so will your mother. She has to face up to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is far from being clear in a word or two.

There is a saying in "The Mother-in-law is Coming" that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is far more fragrant than smelly. What bothers me is that she has a big face and is not self-aware.

Because of the different living habits, the way of speaking is not dealt with, and many unimaginable trivial things can be the points of contradiction.

it's better not to promise to save face at the beginning than not to end it then.

3. The relationship between your mother and your mother-in-law.

this relationship is very subtle. Whether they are harmonious or not has a lot to do with whether you and your wife are harmonious or not.

The so-called love me, love my dog, and my mother-in-law is kind to you on the premise of being good for her daughter. Mother-in-law is good to her daughter-in-law, and it is also good for her son.

Of course, it's the reasonable mother-in-law and mother-in-law.

if you meet unreasonable people, that's another matter.

isn't there a saying: the more a mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the happier she is; The more a mother-in-law looks at her daughter-in-law, the angrier she gets.

if your daughter-in-law and wife have conflicts after your sister really comes, who will your mother-in-law turn to? Who will your mother turn to? I think you know that in your heart, right?

the contradiction between aunt and sister-in-law will expand to the contradiction between two pairs of mother and daughter, and then the contradiction between husband and wife.

crackling, chicken feathers everywhere.

is this situation alarmist? Or is it likely to happen? I think you must be clear about the nature of your family and your wife's temper when you make a decision.

when it's broken, it's chaotic. Hesitation will bring endless trouble.

4. Finally, say something you may not like to hear. As a married man, you should take some responsibility. Your wife doesn't have to refuse such a thing at all. When your sister brought it up, you should have thought clearly about the stakes.

Now, small counties are not so bad. Big hospitals in big cities have all kinds of congestion and beds are tight. They give birth safely in small counties and sit in their own homes.

why do you have to have a big belly and toss it around, causing all kinds of inconvenience?

furthermore, if the child is born, is the kindergarten in your metropolis good and your sister wants the child to attend?

Is it true that primary and secondary schools in metropolis have good education conditions, and she will also let her children live in your home for school?

wake up, save it. my advice is: go home and find your mother. This is all good.

I don't think there is anything to discuss about this question. Even if you ask a hundred people, there is probably only one answer. No, there is nothing to discuss.

Giving birth to a child and passing the second month are important events in life. How can you be free, comfortable and comfortable without living in your own home?

No matter whose house you live in, you are cautious and cautious, and the pregnant period is the most unstable time for women's emotions. Postpartum depression is also a frequent disease in recent years, which has long attracted the attention of Chinese people. Therefore, postpartum care becomes more and more important. If you live in someone else's house, you will not be able to relieve your emotions well, which is not conducive to postpartum recovery.

After the second month, if you want to eat the moon meal, there will be children crying irregularly, and the rhythm of adults' life will be disrupted. If you meet a crying child, you will stay awake all night. This kind of life will not only affect the rest of the parturient, but also affect the sleep and life of the caregivers and other family members.

A child will bring countless troubles. As long as you have been pregnant, the families who have given birth to children know all about it. He will seriously interfere with other people's lives.

A relatively quiet environment is needed after the confinement, which is conducive to the rest of the mother and children. The family population should not be too large and mixed, and the reduction of floating population can ensure the healthy growth of newborns.

Therefore, your family has a large population. If you add the pregnant women and their accompanying staff, a noisy small social environment will be formed, which is not conducive to the rest of the pregnant women, nor to the health of the children, but also seriously affects the normal life, work and rest of your family.

What's more, there are difficult relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and between aunt and sister-in-law. Have you found a solution to these problems when you put them together with the confinement?

it's understandable to want my sister to come over. After all, brother and sister have deep affection. It's right that the wife doesn't agree. Confinement is nothing more than an unusual thing. In a family, it will cause a lot of trouble and even conflict. When the time comes, your sister hates you and your wife hates you, and you will be different at both ends. So your wife did it for your own good. However, not everything is black and white, so why not find a way to kill two birds with one stone?

It's a good idea, but the reality is a bit embarrassing. There is nothing wrong with a good relationship between brother and sister, but it's not realistic for my sister to have a baby in her eldest brother's house, that is, it's taboo to have a baby in her own home in some areas. Since you are married to your brother-in-law, it's most appropriate to have a baby in her own home. Maybe the medical conditions in the metropolis are good, but the medical conditions in small counties are worse. But as long as you have a baby, you can take care of it in your own home. There is some truth in your wife's disapproval of her coming to your house to give birth to a baby. She has a husband and a mother-in-law to take care of her, so why should she come to her eldest brother's house to have a baby? Besides, the diet in the baby is different from usual, and some of them need to be cooked for her alone. In short, other areas don't know any customs, but girls who are married here can't have a baby at their parents' home, and they can go back to their parents' home after the full moon. Now that you are in a dilemma, let your sister rest in her own home. Looking forward to the life in a metropolis requires her husband to work hard to make money. A beautiful and happy life depends on yourself. As the eldest brother, you should discuss with your wife in advance and tell your sister after you agree. This time, your aunt's issue is settled. It's really helpful. It's hard to be a man inside and outside, and sometimes men can be difficult.

hello!

seeing your question, I can't help but want to join in the fun and answer it.

The whole thing is caused by your sister having a baby and confinement. What I want to say is that your sister is particularly selfish, so she is afraid of chaos in the world.

They live in a small county, and they think the conditions there are not as good as those in a big city. They want to go to your home to have a confinement. If you are abroad, she also said that foreign conditions are better than domestic ones. Do you want to catch up with foreign students?

after getting married, everyone has their own small family. No matter what you do, you should consider the problem from the other side's standpoint.

From the perspective of a bystander, she felt that it was really too much. It's also said that confinement doesn't bother your mother-in-law and wife, and it's an interruption in itself to propose confinement at someone else's home. Don't want people to wait on her, why?

Your sister has a good relationship with you. No matter how dependent she is on you, even if you think her request is not too much, we can understand that you are brothers and sisters, which is understandable.

but it's not your sister who lives under the same roof with you all your life, but your wife. Her attitude is what you should care about.

However, you did a good job. You didn't make your own decisions. You were willing to discuss with your wife and respect her opinion. Perhaps, your wife married you because she is easy to talk to.

But what I want to say is that you should learn to make up your own mind slowly, handle things well between you and your sister, as well as with your parents, and try not to disturb each other.

If you are short of money, you can lend her some. If you go to your home for confinement, you can forget it!

In fact, the problems your brother and sister have shown are related to your parents' education, and they didn't guide you well in this respect.

from your description, I can probably draw the conclusion that they are all nice people and easy to talk.

they are such people and expect others to be like them. You and your sister have never asked your parents for advice on this matter. At least ask, what should we do?

As a woman, from the day I get married, my mother will make demands on me. For example, my married daughter must spend the New Year at her husband's house. On the sixth day of the first month, you can go back to your mother's house and so on.

What's wrong with me? If your sister does, I'll discuss it with my mother first. She thinks it's wrong, and I will never tell my brother.

My mother has been through it. She has a lot of experience and extensive knowledge. She will warn me of some unnecessary troubles, and I will listen to these suggestions for the sake of getting along well with everyone.

parents can guide their children, but your parents obviously don't. If there is, you won't ask everyone.

In this way, parents are more casual with your brother and sister. What you do is up to you. There are no rules at home.

You described your wife as an only child, pampered and brought up. I don't feel this way at all. On the contrary, I think you and your sister are the ones who are spoiled.

It's right that my wife strongly disagrees with this matter. You might as well ask the married female colleagues around you, no woman is willing. I support your wife on this point, because no one wants to be disturbed by irrelevant people, besides, it's confinement for such a long time.

under the same roof, it is inevitable that there will be conflicts between your aunt, mother-in-law and your parents. Your wife is very independent. She is afraid of getting along with her mother-in-law.