? All the memories have a lock, lying quietly in time, watching myself drifting away, never calling, never chasing, just so quiet, not far or near. It thinks that one day, you will stop and look back, and at that time, there is no sorrow, no regret for the past, no frivolous youth, and only the blandness and gentleness after the years have settled, as well as the awe and yearning for life. ?
? Standing at the age of twenty to look at childhood is a beautiful feeling, as warm as ever; Standing at the age of 31 and looking at the age of 21, how to describe that kind of mood is probably the faint pain in my heart. There are many memories with their unique marks, and you think they have all been forgotten. Pretend for a long time, and you really think you don't remember. For a long time, I have never thought of the old time. Occasionally, one day, I opened the old photos and looked at the good sisters holding hands in the photos. At that time, I was wearing my sister's eggplant-purple short sleeves, jeans and white sneakers, and my good sisters who took pictures together had already scattered all over the world, and I had long hair. Are they okay now? Like me, did I accidentally see the age of eighteen one day, and it was fixed in the early summer in the south?
? I remember going back to the autumn when my dream collided with reality after more than ten years. Until now, I can't forget the deskmate who secretly gave me 111 yuan. When I told her, I was leaving the campus because I couldn't pay the living expenses. She didn't say anything, so she gave me 111 yuan. At that time, I was a little shocked, because for students, it was more than half a month's living expenses, and her unconditional support and trust was a timely help to me at that time, but it was a drop in the bucket for the future. Finally, I left and left her the hundred yuan, which I knew she needed. I can't forget that when my cousin listened to me and said that she was going to work in the south, she was afraid and nervous at that moment. She took my hand and held it tightly, and her whole body was shaking. Tears flowed from her red eyes and fell down, and instantly broke all over the floor, but I saw the colorful light reflected by tears in the sun and lived in my heart from now on. Until many years later, I will still remember that the most simple and kind friendship in that year, like a meter of sunshine, accompanied me all the way in the years to come.
? Perhaps, it never occurred to me that one day, when the closest person personally sent me on a long trip, my heart did not have the expected pain. When I stepped on the train going south, I saw my mother crying. She often cried because of her life, and this time, she shed tears for me. I was stunned for a moment, because she was so strong that even if she did something wrong, she never lowered her head in front of life. As far as I can remember, she has always been so tough. When she talks, her voice is very loud. In my father's words, all the pigs raised by our family can distinguish her voice. When they hear her voice from afar, they will stick their heads out and roar in the pig farm. I was ashamed to hear that. It was a spectacular scene. Probably after a woman gets married, in front of life, she will regard herself as a strong woman and a man. Once she gets used to it, it will be difficult to return to being a girl, which is quiet and elegant. At that time, I swore that I wouldn't be her, and I wanted to live what I wanted, but I actually didn't know what it was like. From the slowly moving window, I saw her wiping away tears, and her figure became smaller and smaller. At that moment, I recalled that one month before leaving, she cried and begged me to forgive her. There is no loud voice, no scolding, no picky, only a haggard look that is crushed in front of life, like an old tree that has been destroyed by wind and rain, and has long since lost its lush life. In those days, the comely and quiet girl was already out of shape, and wrinkles crept up on her face. The thick black and shiny braided hair had already turned into sparse short broken hair (I have seen old photos of her when she was twenty years old), and her once moist hands are now full of cracks and rough and dark, which were left to her after working day and night. And since then, our distance has been getting farther and farther, spanning half of China and across Qian Shan. I couldn't understand the tearing pain at that time. It was not until many years later, when I became a mother myself, that I realized that there were always countless bitterness and helplessness in life, so happiness became precious. I also understand that sentence: "The so-called father and son, mother and daughter, just means that your fate with him is to watch his background drift away in this life." After many years, I also let go. If there is an afterlife, I hope she has never experienced the vicissitudes of the world and has always been the spoiled little girl ...
? Perhaps, there is a restless factor in my blood, and I didn't follow my mother's earnest warning and work honestly. After work, I signed up for a computer class, learned half of it, and was dragged to a training school by a friend of the same age in my dormitory. I just came out of the campus, and I quickly have my own circle of friends in this strange metropolis in the south. Is a few girls in the photo, Claire Kuo, training class students, gentle woman, with a pair of talking eyes, the whole body exudes a quiet and cool temperament, which is really different from the tall and stout image of northern women. Hu Zhanzhan, roommate, big eyes, round face, dark skin, beautiful loud voice and long black hair, is a female man among us. Ling Genying, the only Hunan girl among the four of us (all three of us are fellow villagers), has a graceful and graceful voice like a lark, and is thin and small. We all call her Xiao Lingzi. We four girls of the same age have become good friends who talk about everything. In a foreign land, we have a feeling of being dependent on each other. We often go to the riverside on foot to play together. It is a canal, and there are often ships carrying sand floating across the river. Those ships coming and going seem to be able to fly across Qian Shan with our thoughts and return to the place where we have lived for more than ten years. We sat on the grass by the river, looking at this strange city, singing familiar songs together and talking about our work and life. We were happy and happy. It was a good time at that time. We listened to the class together and walked together on the way back. At that time, the night was already deep, leaving our footsteps and laughter on the deserted street. Everyone has never mentioned the matter of being far away from home easily, and maybe some words will be understood without saying. We were in a foreign land before we were ready to part. At that time, I was seventeen, Zhanzhan and Claire Kuo were eighteen, and Xiaolingzi was only sixteen. Many times, the so-called homesickness is not about someone, but about the familiar country road there, the smell of soil and grass on the road, the flowers and the flying butterflies ...
? People who wander in a foreign land will always get together and leave. A few years later, when I return to the place where I used to work and live, the place where I worked has been demolished, the training school has changed teachers, and my former good friends have also been scattered all over the country. Claire Kuo has returned home, and the exhibition has changed to work in the city. Xiaolingzi has lost contact, and I am the only one who is still in this city. It's not that I don't want to go, but that I don't want to try the feeling of being alone again. I like familiar places, even if people around me have scattered all over the world, but there are memories of my life here. I went to the riverside again on foot, but the river was still full of sand boats, and the songs I had been singing sounded in my ears, and the scene of the four of us chasing and frolicking flashed in front of me, only this time, I was the only one ...
? In my heart, I have a reverence for the title of teacher, perhaps because my teachers have brought me warmth and touch during my study career. At the age of eighteen, I was stubborn and willful. After being scolded by the leader, I left in anger. At that time, I walked alone in the night, and my temper when I was impulsive was gone. There was only an illusion of being abandoned by the world. Later, Mr. Wen from the training class recommended me to be a teacher in a computer training school. At that time, I wore professional clothes and went there like that. I don't know where I got the courage, because my computer can only type, and the principal kindly left me. Since then, I have been tutoring students while making up my knowledge. Then, learn design and animation, so that you can have a reason to convince yourself. Maybe it's because of the regret of not finishing my studies, maybe it's because of the atmosphere there, which makes me feel like I'm back on campus, or maybe it's because it's very close to my childhood dream. There is a serious injury at that age, that is, I don't know how to face life. I learned a lot of new knowledge, but I didn't learn how to be good to myself. In the face of ideals and reality, I compromised, and I finally lived into my mother's heart. Perhaps this is a collision between youth and reality, and it is also a test of human nature, which will always make you fall to pieces, and then get up and move on. In those years, I was proud and conceited, like a stone full of edges and corners, rolling in the mountains and rivers, falling with stains in the mud and eroding in the cliffs. Maybe God is fair, giving you hope and strength, and letting you go through hardships and suffering, so as to throw off your disguised armor and arrogant self-esteem, and at the same time, let you learn what is calm, what is as light as clouds and smoke, and what is really alive.
? All memories have a box, each box has a lock, and those keys to open the lock are hidden in the deepest part of the soul. As long as the time and place coincide, or an old photo, a friend many years ago, a careless word, and a trip that leaves will all become the keys to open the memory box. There are sadness, happiness, sighs, and everything given by life. The soul is in the years. Those old years, like a meter of sunshine, have stayed in the atrium through the years of time and space, which has permanent residence rights. Until the end of life, those warmth will be as fresh as ever in time and space ...