Humor is like a bridge to narrow the distance between people and bridge the gap between people. How many short humorous jokes do you know? I have collected some short humorous jokes for you. Let's have a look.

a selection of short humorous jokes

1) One day, I was taking a bus. When the bus started, someone under the bus flew after it, shouting "Master, wait for me" while running, only to see the driver say "Bajie, I'll wait for you at the stop ahead".

2) What you earn is paper, and what you spend is money. Life is always there, so bitter! Advise friends, don't be pessimistic, be optimistic and natural, as long as you work hard, you will be the brightest; Bless your friends, have a safe life, and the money will continue to revolve around you!

3) My ex-boyfriend sent me a message asking me to attend his wedding. I calmly replied with three words: Next time.

4) Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face &; hellip; & hellip;

5) The most painful thing in the world is to wake up after a good sleep.

6) On the way to a bus, many people crowded in from the back door, and the door couldn't be closed, and no one invested. The driver was really angry at that time and shouted loudly, get out of here if you don't invest, or I will get out of here! At that time, everyone laughed!

7) Money is like toilet paper. It looks like a lot, but it disappears when you use it.

8) son: "Dad, what is capital and what is labor?" Father: "Well, if I borrow a hundred dollars from my neighbor's house, I have capital. If he wants to get money back from me, he must work for me."

9) Wang Guoxuan, an animal strategist, was elected by Cobra with absolute superiority. The tiger comforted the fox and said, Brother, don't be depressed. Everyone says that your feet are always slippery, so you are not stable enough. Cobra wears a pair of glasses and looks like a cultural person.

11) making money is as quiet as a virgin, and spending money is as free as a rabbit; Making money is as slow as a mouse and spending money as fierce as a tiger; Making money is hard, and spending money is countless; Making money is eternal, spending money is a romantic figure. In fact, if you think about it carefully, if you don't spend money, why make money, so I hope you can make more money and spend more!

11) Because cow dung can make flowers more colorful! So flowers have always been inserted in cow dung!

12) Earning money is like sailing against the current, tired and tired, spending money is like going downstream, cool and cool! Every day is like a year when you earn money, and it is even more difficult. When you spend money, it is a flash in the pan, as fast as lightning. My friend, please make more money and spend money reasonably. I wish you a good fortune.

13) My eyesight is very poor. For example, see that thumbtack on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

14) My ideal college life is to have classes at eight o'clock in the morning, go to the library in the afternoon, play games, watch movies and read books in the dormitory at night, and then go to bed at eleven o'clock on time. Who can I call to say good night before going to bed? . . . But it turns out. . There is still a gap between ideal and reality. Like the distance between mars and the earth. . . . .

15) The most mispronounced Chinese character: covet J&; igrave; y& uacute; , at odds with jǔyǔ, L & iacute; Ngyǔ incarnation, 隙隙 w 隙 ngli 隙 ng, w& ku w&; aacute; nk& ugrave; , mandarin fish gu & igrave; y& uacute; , octogenarian m&; agrave; odi& eacute; , gluttonous t ā oti&; egrave; , hesitant ch&; iacute; ch& uacute; ⅮⅮǒ n ɡ z ǒ n ɡ, 揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕揕𾙅25555 ograve; Ng, Partridge CH&; igrave; ch& ugrave; Flattery ch m&; egrave; I, rickets g not ul&; oacute; u。 Have you ever missed these words?

16) How many people are shouting hard. . . Actually, I just lie in bed and think about it&; hellip; ~

17) Look at you. You are well proportioned, handsome, charming, loved by everyone and loved by bloom. You must be the best among scum and the beast among animals! Moreover, according to observation, you must be short of calcium from childhood and lack of love when you grow up. Grandma doesn't hurt and uncle doesn't love. The left face owes pumping, and the right face owes kicking. The donkey sees the donkey kick and the pig sees the pig step on it. Born to belong to cucumber, I owe it to shoot! The day after tomorrow belongs to walnuts, you owe it! Life is a broken motorcycle, owe to kick! It's a screw to find a daughter-in-law, but it's not screwed!

classic short humorous joke

1) Today, the princess kissed the frog, and the frog became a prince. The prince knelt down to the princess and said, "Thank you for saving my beautiful and kind princess. I have another wish." The princess blushed: "Go ahead, I will meet your requirements." So the prince took another frog out of his pocket. . . The other one. . . Frog ￣

2) Set up a shed to sell embroidery needles-the business is not big, and the shelf is not small.

3) If you have too much homework, you can play cards with your paper: "Math for children", "I teach three languages" and "I teach science!" I can't afford it. I can't afford it. I ran first.

4) The hardest thing in the world is not diamond, but Conan's life! The explosion can't kill you, the sea can't kill you, the big fire can't kill you, the train can't kill you, the sharp knife can't kill you, the smoke can't kill you, the high altitude can't kill you, the neck can't kill you, the drunkenness can't kill you, the poison can't kill you, the plane crash can't kill you, the gas poison can't kill you, the machine gun can't kill you, and the avalanche can't freeze &; hellip; & hellip; In a word, Conan is old and immortal!

5) My router is broken. Now it's routing crying.

6) When I went out wearing two clothes, I experienced a 361-degree three-dimensional wind, bowing my head to the sky, lifting my mushroom head, slanting my bangs left and right, turning a little bit to 28, then turning a little bit to 37, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and turning into a quasi-punk. This wind was really all-round and multi-level, and I was blown into various growls &; hellip; & hellip;

7) I always thought you were fooling a cow, but you were fooling a person.

8) When I went out wearing two clothes, I experienced a 361-degree three-dimensional wind, bowing my head to the sky, lifting my mushroom head, slanting my bangs left and right, turning a little bit to 28, then turning a little bit to 37, turning left to right punk, turning right to left punk, and turning into a quasi-punk. This wind was really all-round and multi-level, and I was blown into various growls &; hellip; & hellip;

9) "I bet I can make you forget that you are gay right now!" "But I'm not gay." "Look!"

11) Yesterday, my friend asked me to go to his dormitory to eat hot pot. After I went in, I saw a group of young people around a big washbasin, in which all kinds of hot pots were filled with vegetables! It's still hot in the washbasin! Should I admire your's creativity or courage?

11) The latest hilarious joke

12) Yesterday, I went to my brother's house and saw my little nephew, who has always been a good-tempered sister-in-law. When I asked the truth, I laughed wildly. Sister-in-law came home early and saw a maddening scene: the little nephew took a dip in the living room and then fed it to the dog spoon by spoon, which has lasted for more than a month. The first thing my sister-in-law does when she comes home from work every day is to pick up the puppy and kiss it.

13) Every day, there are ghost stories in classrooms, canteens, libraries and study rooms in schools: a classmate points to an empty seat and says, There is someone here &; bdquo; & bdquo;

14) Have dinner with a buddy restaurant on National Day. When the food is served, the buddy calls the waiter: Believe it or not, I can open the beer with my thumb. The waiter said in surprise, I don't believe it The buddy said faintly: Then why don't you bring the bottle screwdriver? !

short humorous jokes

1) Three generations of grandfathers and grandsons went out fishing together. Grandsons saw grandpa holding a fishing rod and became speechless, and said to his father, Look, your father is in a daze, silly! Dad was particularly angry and said: you are talking nonsense, your dad is stupid!

2) once I sat in the middle of a bus, and an old lady came on the way. Immediately stood up and offered his seat to the old man. The old man smiled and said, "Thank you. Sit down. There are plenty of seats in the back." I turned around and the position behind me was all empty. .

3) if one day, you meet your ex-lover and ta's new lover in the street, please don't be sad! Some people say, "Because our mother taught us to donate old toys to people less fortunate than ourselves when we were young ..."

4) The origin of puffs The farmer's daughter fell in love with the young man who was herding cattle, but her father objected. The farmer said that if they could put milk in the eggs, they should be together. Later, the couple made a snack with the appearance as crisp as an egg shell and frozen milk inside, which was approved by their father. The first pronunciation of the boy's name is Paofu, and the last pronunciation of the girl's name is Pufu. This snack is called Pufu.

5) It is said that the amount of single DNA information reaches bytes. In other words, the average ejaculation is equivalent to transmitting the data of B in three seconds. With such a large amount of information, it can fill an iPad with a capacity of one, and it will take years if you use network upload (bps). Man, connotation, you can't afford to be hurt!

6) Digital Baby Awu saves the world, Poké mon Xiao Zhi travels around the world, Dragon Ball Wukong participates in the first martial arts meeting in the world, Chinese young master takes senior chef, Naruto Uchiha Itachi opens kaleidoscope sharingan, One Piece flies to grand line, famous detective Conan solves numerous cases, and Naruto becomes the editor of Erqi Road Forum ~ ~ Why can I only do my homework? !

7) When Shen Congwen chased Zhang Zhaohe, Shen was a teacher and Zhang was a freshman. Shen Congwen couldn't catch up with her so-called suicide for a long time, which frightened the little girl enough. She went to the headmaster with a pile of love letters and said, "Look, Mr. Shen, a teacher, wrote to me. I'm studying now, and this is not the time to talk about such things." Unexpectedly, the headmaster told her, "That's all right. bdquo; & bdquo;” & mdash; & mdash; The wicked principal is Hu Shi.

8) A man meets a beautiful woman online. I opened a room and did what I had to do. After lying down and chatting, she found that she couldn't answer anything she had talked about before. Wonder! Under his repeated coercion, she finally told the truth: "It was actually my mother who talked to you before!" Just when I was shocked, she went on to say, "I don't want my mother to find a pretty boy!" I have been there, and my mother is embarrassed to ask for it! "

9) According to the latest research by scientists, one hundred men took part in the experiment. After each person drank twenty bottles of beer, all of them became extremely talkative but lacked logic, prone to crying and irritability, impulsive behavior, decreased driving skills and gained weight. So scientists have come to the conclusion that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen!

11) In the composition class, the teacher asked each student to describe his own characteristics in the simplest sentences. A classmate with acne all over his face wrote: "One wave is not flat, and another wave rises."

11) In a physiology class, the teacher angrily reprimanded the unruly students in the class: "If I catch you disrespecting discipline next time, I will be both male and female. hellip; & hellip;” After saying his word, a student stood up and said, "Teacher, how can you be our physical health teacher regardless of gender?"

12) The physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example, as long as you touch the cat's fur backwards, you can see the electric spark. " "God," cried a little girl, "how many cats must be kept in that power station!"

13) Mom said that my IQ is only how high my IQ is, and I don't know. I only know that I am a very lethal person. Many people have been hurt because of me. Some of them have lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide. Therefore, I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and this superpower has a particularly strong effect on my teacher for some reason. I still remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and the teacher took us to the wild for a natural practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows pumping branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a question, so he asked, "Students, do you know how to identify the wind direction?" "I know!" A little girl in the same class picked up a tree from the ground while answering ...

14) One night, I was tossing and turning, and I couldn't sleep at night, so I sent a text message to a friend and a sister: "I'm depressed, let's chat with me." Soon, the sister wrote back: "OK, what do you want to talk about? The topic is up to you! " I thought about it and replied happily, "Then let's talk about something heavier, such as&; mdash; & mdash; Your weight! " After a moment of silence, my sister sent me a short message, which said, "This is too heavy, so let's talk about something superficial, such as&; mdash; & mdash; Your IQ! ! ! ” A friend asked her boyfriend in the Department of Botany, "Today is my birthday! Why don't you send me flowers? " "What?" The boy replied, "don't you know that flowers are the genitals of plants?" Why do we have to cut off people's genitals?

15) A philosophy teacher only took one question in the mid-term exam. The topic is "What is courage?" Just when everyone is desperately thinking about how to write something &; hellip; & hellip; A classmate handed in his paper &; hellip; & hellip; He didn't write a word! But he wrote only five words, "This is courage!" Absolutely! The teacher gave him full marks. But it is definitely in the back. It's finally the final exam. The teacher still only takes one test. This time the topic is "This is the topic, please do the answer". Isn't this strange enough? Everyone still can't write, but the student handed in the paper soon. What did he write this time? He wrote, "This is the answer, please give points &; hellip;” The teacher was angry but became angry from embarrassment and shouted, "Boy, that's awesome!"! Come here, I have two questions for you, if you answer them. ......