I was immersed in the coolness of the new rain when the telephone rang. This is Lan Xin, my best friend. I'm surprised that the other end of the phone is not as good as it used to be. "Do you have time? Can you go out with me? "
Lan Xin's tone is low, obviously, there is a trace of silence and sadness. Sensitive as I am, I seem to feel that there must be something very unhappy about Lan Xin. I put on my autumn clothes and hurried to the appointment.
There was an autumn rain and a cold rain, and at dusk after the rain, there were obviously few pedestrians on the street. Only the vehicles coming and going in front of us seem to add vitality to this late autumn. Walking side by side with Lan Xin in the wet street, the soft fallen leaves soaked in the rain all day are under your feet, like stepping on a cotton blanket. Lan Xin was silent at this time, and I waited for her to speak. The autumn sunset gently falls on the shoulders through the sparse gaps of paulownia leaves, which is a gentle touch. After a silence, Lan Xin began to tell her helpless feelings that she had endured for a long time. Listening to Lan Xin's unhurried speech, my heart sank slowly with her every word ... as if I would fall from a height. At this moment, the temperature left by the setting sun on my shoulders suddenly turned into a cold feeling, and my heart was as cold as winter. Shake your shoulders, as if to unload the cold on your shoulders. At present, the leaves are still flying around with the wind, and some of them fall on their shoulders and fall to the ground, overlapping with the leaves after the rain and being in close contact. Occasionally a fallen leaf brushed my eyebrows and landed on my chest. Do you want to get some temperature from pedestrians? At this point, I have no time to take care of its cold and warm.
As night falls, Lan Xin continues to walk in the silent street. The street lamp is on, and the faint and secret light, through the already sparse and mottled yellow leaves, sheds a cold light. Presumably, this clear light must be a silent coldness in late autumn. The autumn wind mingled with the footsteps of Lan Xin and me and suddenly patted me on the shoulder. Autumn is thick, in one word: cold. Her hand on her shoulder made me shudder. Lan Xin seemed to be immersed in her sad and painful marriage and feelings, and didn't notice any change in me.
Passing by a store facing the street, there is a song "Autumn is Strong" by Jacky Cheung, which is slightly sad. "Memories/Sighs/Silence of Chiufung/Chiufung ..." My mind was on Lan Xin beside me. I listened casually, but I remembered these words. I suddenly feel that these lyrics seem to be in line with Lan Xin's mood at this moment. A memory, a sigh and a silent ending.
The autumn wind at night blows on my cheeks, and the street lamp lengthens my shadow. Unconsciously, Lan Xin and I walked to the door of McDonald's fast food restaurant downtown. Lan Xin seems to see that my thin clothes can't stand the cold of autumn night. "Let's go in and have a cup of hot coffee." Lan Xin looked apologetic: "Come with me on the street in such a cold day, don't freeze." I smiled at her: "am I that delicate?" Lan Xin also gave me a reluctant smile. I know there are endless scars hidden under her smile, but she is too strong to hold back her grief for so long. Looking at Lan Xin beside me, I feel pity, my best friend, how long will you bear it?
Pushing open the door of McDonald's, a warm current came to my face. I chose a quiet corner, took a sip of hot coffee and looked around. Here and on the street are just two worlds. The room temperature is as warm as spring, and the emotional music is played circularly, and the voice is gentle, romantic and warm. The warm yellow tone of the colored wall gives people a comfortable and warm feeling. All kinds of advertising paper paintings hanging in the air seem to float quietly in front of many diners, showing their colorful colors. Is it a kite floating in the sky in spring? Or a paper plane cruising in the sky? Not far away, several children wolfed down their own food and kept playing with the toys given by the set meal. Look out of the window, the street is a bleak scene, Leng Yue is silent.
Lan Xin went on telling me her story. It turns out that my best friend Lan Xin's life is not as happy as I imagined. Before that, I always thought that she was a person destined to be happy. It turns out that under the mask of her happiness every day, she can't live without her sad marriage life. My mother once said to me when she was alive, "Look at Lan Xin, how happy she is! There is a husband who loves her and a smart and lovely daughter. " In fact, many people's sadness and pain are written in their hearts, and others can't see your true feelings. Just like wearing a pair of shoes, only your own feet know best whether it fits. A person's life, ups and downs, can only be tasted by himself.
Lan Xin told me in detail about her miserable marriage life in recent years. Speaking of pain, her eyes filled with tears. That was the first time I saw Lan Xin crying in front of me. Where is the usually stronger Lan Xin? It is her sad married life that makes her completely different from the past. In the past, Lan Xin always smiled and wrote on his face. She is in a cheerful state all day, and people around her say that she is a happy woman. It is rare to see her in tears, but now her married life has made her so depressed, so painful and so tired.
A few years ago, Lan Xin and her husband fell in love freely and went to the palace of marriage. Who would have thought that after their so-called free love, she concealed her husband's meanness and shameless. Lan Xin's husband is a very practical person. He doesn't like words on the outside, but he has ulterior motives on the inside. If her husband has more or less a little love for Lan Xin, it is also a lust for Lan Xin's temperament and elegance. Most importantly, he aimed at Lan Xin's elder brother as the boss of a company, and his powerful elder brother was his bargaining chip through fire and water. After he mixed a lot of greedy colors in his marriage life, the fox's tail gradually became clear. I remember reading such a sentence: "What kind of marriage you choose, what kind of life you choose." Indeed, the original choice largely determines the happiness and happiness of a person's life.
To my surprise, during the Spring Festival of Lan Xin's first year of marriage, her husband actually hit her because of an unintentional quarrel. The second time, when their daughter was only eight months old, her husband actually hit her again for a trivial quarrel, so that Lan Xin left a hearing loss in her left ear. After the second beating, Lan Xin's heart began to soak in the cold, which was very vague. Lan Xin didn't know where to go. Holding my eight-month-old daughter, I wandered in the street, crying step by step, and all the tears were sad. Because she clearly knew that the opposition of all the family members did not stop her from marrying her husband, she married her husband without hesitation. At that moment, she devoted her life to her husband and joined hands in the sacred marriage hall. At this moment, she is like a homeless wanderer, wandering in the streets. Look at all the lights, which one is lit for her? She can't go to her parents' house. Her husband naturally has his own career. He had already grasped Lan Xin's weakness, and he knew very well that Lan Xin was the kind of woman who had to face bravely and endure the pain. She won't tell outsiders, especially her family, what grievances she has suffered. In this way, Lan Xin insisted on the love and marriage she chose, and sadly went through the sad course of nearly seven years after marriage. Be a woman, a mother and a daughter-in-law. As long as the father-in-law in the southern countryside feels a little uncomfortable, she knows that even if she scrimps and saves, she sends money again and again, telling him that he is sick, not spending money indiscriminately, paying attention to nutrition and so on. Sometimes I take my father home to wait on him. Lan Xin, who is beautiful before marriage, often dresses herself up beautifully. Although she is loved by her parents and brothers, Lan Xin does not have the personality of a woman in Jiao Jiao. But look at Lan Xin after marriage, but she has never bought a decent dress. Lan Xin put all his thoughts on their family. As my best friend, I saw all this. I also thought privately, why did Lan Xin, once so beautiful, become so unkempt after marriage? At this moment, I have the answer.
Lan Xin's husband snubbed her day by day, and she asked herself countless times more than once if there was anything wrong, which made her husband tired of himself. Lan Xin wanted to think, but he still felt foggy.
Think about it carefully, in fact, everyone is an independent individual, and it is difficult for others to understand what kind of mood his inner world is. When a person hides his mind in advance and the time is ripe, his change will be obvious. I think it was Lan Xin who begged her brother to run up and down, find a relationship, and give a gift to her once beloved husband, from an ordinary soldier to a national civil servant. During this period, only she knew how much Lan Xin had lost, but in the end, all she got was her husband's indifference and indifference. For the sake of her daughter, Lan Xin chose silence.
In the dead of night, Lan Xin can only look at the stars and the moon in the sky and tell her worries, drinking the bitter wine brewed by herself. "You go to rest with your daughter, and I'll sleep in the other room." This is the best reward she gets from her beloved husband, separation.
I knew nothing about all this before. The stronger Lan Xin never showed any unhappiness in front of me. I am ashamed that I am not a good girlfriend. Women say that women are made of water. Lan Xin was sentimental and failed to win her husband's heart.
Listen to Lan Xin tell her story, her tragedy. It's hard to calm your heart and save your feelings. What has marriage and love achieved for men and women?
Maybe God can't bear to watch Lan Xin walk so sadly and painfully, and a lover who hasn't been in touch for many years appears in front of her eyes. Time flies, Li Jie, the man who loves Lan Xin from the bottom of his heart to the bone marrow, still loves him.
For seven years, Lan Xin and Li Jie have lived in the same city for seven years, and they haven't heard from each other. Perhaps as a wife and mother, Lan Xin buried her true and pure feelings. Recalling Li Jie's true feelings about himself in those years, Lan Xin always remembers them vividly. Only when bitterness and pain are intertwined, do they turn it out carefully, but dare not delve into it. Home has an insurmountable threshold, and Lan Xin knows that a heavy burden must be borne.
Since the spring of eleven years ago, every time Li Jie used her rest time at noon, she would go downstairs to Lan Xin's house at the right time, holding a paper crane folded with her heart and handing it to Lan Xin. Then she walked silently with Lan Xin for a while until Lan Xin was sent to the door of her work unit, and left without seeing Lan Xin's back. This persistence lasted for four years, rain or shine, and never stopped. Later, Lan Xin's parents accidentally discovered that they had hit Yuanyang. They looked down on Li Jie, the penniless orphan who entered their beloved daughter. In order not to hurt his parents' heart, Lan Xin chose to give up, and they never contacted each other again. In my heart, Lan Xin regrets why she didn't have the courage when she chose to marry her husband. It may be destiny takes a hand to pass by Li Jie.
I just want to see you, Lan Xin. Li Jie always says this to Lan Xin.
But Lan Xin, Lan Xin, how can you miss a man who loves you so much? If you miss it, you will be speechless forever.
"Leave that loveless home and marry me, Lan Xin." "Why not let me take good care of you, Lan Xin?"
Li Jie's concern for Lan Xin remains unchanged, and his love remains undiminished. It's just that Lan Xin was miserable after she married someone else. Casually, Li Jie paralyzed himself, ran a marriage, and was also a husband and father. It's just that he hides in a place where he can see Lan Xin, and has been caring about Lan Xin in obscurity, regardless of her, as long as she has a good life. Can't be together, deep love is silently blessing and silently watching.
When she faced Lan Xin again, Li Jie read her pain and suffering from her eyes. Lan Xin will never escape Li Jie's deep and insightful eyes. Li Jie's eyes are only Lan Xin.
Li Jie told Lan Xin that he didn't want to miss the meeting again. "Lan Xin, give me a chance to love you."
Every time I hear the heartfelt call and promise from my ex-lover, Lan Xin will cry once. The painstakingly managed home, although there is no love, still has the faces of daughters and parents, which is an insurmountable ditch. Lan Xin dare not take a step forward. How many times did she not want to go back to her empty, lifeless, lifeless and silent home? Reason still prevents everything.
Lan Xin's husband is becoming increasingly indifferent to her existence. Apart from socializing and drinking, he doesn't regard his family as writers at all. Lan Xin's job is that holidays can hardly be closed normally, and customers need to deliver goods. In summer, it's sultry and sweaty from the beginning. Lan Xin's husband only cares about playing by himself. Often, Lan Xin is holding her daughter who was only four years old last year, sitting in a big truck weighing several tons, bumping all the way to other places to deliver goods. It takes half a day to go back and forth, the clothes are soaked and the children are crying. Lan Xin said that my heart was broken at that moment. Bumping all the way, looking at my sleeping daughter lying in my arms, my heart is really mixed and I want to cry. My heart is hurting, and a tear is like blood.
It goes without saying that the appearance of Li Jie really brought great comfort to Lan Xin, who lives in sadness. However, Lan Xin is not the kind of woman who gives up from the beginning and enjoys a romantic night. They can only look at each other from a distance, and the greetings of the phone and the concern of WeChat are nothing more than that.
"Lan Xin, today is your birthday. Happy birthday. " 999 roses are a blessing in Li Jie's heart. Lan Xin was in tears. Li Jie's romance is like yesterday, and the missed scenery is gone forever. Lan Xin couldn't stand it, and love became empty. I chose my own marriage and left that innocence in a corner of my heart.
I said to Lan Xin: "Can you live for yourself once and give yourself a happiness!"
Lan Xin just smiled sadly. It turns out that her despicable husband can't give up their marriage, and her brother has the right. My brother loves his sister dearly and has been helping him get promoted. One day, two people once talked about the topic of mutual relief in divorce. Lan Xin's husband shamelessly said to her, "Yes, let your brother find someone to give me a promotion first, and then you give me 1 million, and we will go our separate ways." The chip on which a loveless family lives is a dirty trick.
It turns out that this is Lan Xin's marriage, which is an unbearable sad and painful marriage.
"Lan Xin, if you can't stand it, let's leave this sad place and fly together. I will give you happiness." Li Jie's phone is getting stronger every time.
Lan Xin was in a daze again and again. I don't know what to do. We all have families. Yes, they may only be able to warm each other's hearts with their hearts, and their flesh and blood will never intersect.
"Love yourself." I dare not look into Lan Xin's eyes, because I am afraid of the broken sound of tears splashing on the ground.
Walking out of McDonald's is already a lonely night. Late autumn, the night is boundless, I walk with Lan Xin.
When we parted, I looked at Lan Xin's haggard face in the moonlight and said, "Lan Xin, let's live our own lives. Even in late autumn, you must have spring in your heart and be a happy woman. "
Lan Xin just smiled at me. Disappear into the depths of the night ...
At this time, my feet are as heavy as lead. It seems that I am experiencing the pain of Lan Xin, and my heart is bitter, painful and cold. The pace can't be lighter. The pedestrians on the street are more sparse, and occasionally the speeding vehicles flash by and disappear into the night. Who are you flying for on this late autumn night? The billboards of shops in the street are flashing with colorful neon lights. Red, green and blue, flashing and changing colors. Is life like this flashing neon light? Change and alternate colors.
When I got home, I couldn't sleep for a long time, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Who am I crying for? I don't know, I can only sit in the late autumn night and knock out an autumn injury in front of the computer.
At the moment, I can only hear the autumn wind rustling outside the window. ...