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Improve in all directions and make up for your shortcomings

If you often feel anxious and confused, you don't know what you should do next, what you are good at and what you want to do.

1.? Master a skill and develop a long-term compound interest thinking.

Handing out leaflets on the road and washing dishes in restaurants are physical part-time jobs with low threshold and quick money, but they are actually the lowest quality ways to make money.

as much as you do, there is too little room for growth, and it is also of little help to your personal growth.

But mastering a skill can create more and more value like snowballing with the increase of time and proficiency.

Not only can you earn pocket money on campus, but after graduation, it can also become your core competitiveness and help you get more opportunities for promotion and salary increase.

2.? Being rich at home is not the same as being able to earn money by yourself.

always remind yourself not to be an overly dependent person on your parents.

If you want to get a better life, you have to earn money by yourself. No matter how much you earn at first, the improvement of your ability is the most precious wealth, and the improvement of your personal ability is the passport to get an offer from a big factory.

3.? Get in touch with different people and exercise your emotional ability.

Try to meet and communicate with different people every day, because different people have different views and different life experiences.

There are some things that you may never meet in your life, but by getting in touch with different people, you will have a clearer and more comprehensive understanding of the original fuzzy world, rather than being limited to the people around you.

in the end, all these things you experience will become a part of your life experience.

4. Set a progress bar for what you want to do to get a "sense of certainty".

people tend to be confident and motivated about certain things.

when you can control the progress of your plan, you will be more inclined to finish it.

for example; If you want to read a book, you can make a reading schedule first. Stick to it every day, read-review-extract-share, and complete it step by step according to the plan, so that you can complete your plan faster.

5. Be aware of your interests and passions.

Know what you are interested in and what you are doing, and have the will to devote your time and energy, that is, know what you really love.

Finding your passion and interest is also an exploration of your life. People who know yourself will keep looking for it, and in the process, you will naturally get closer to yourself. Finally, you will suddenly find that you have naturally made your own career plan.

6. learn from the dead as long as you don't die.

Learning and growth is something you should persist in all your life. As long as your brain is still active, you should continue to learn. More than 91% of the frustrations in life can be filled with your ability.

7.? Learn to talk for three years, and learn to shut up once.

As the old saying goes, if you talk too much, you will lose. If the speaker has no intention of listening, a casual remark may become a wound that others will never scab.

See through without breaking, see through without breaking, think for three seconds before you speak, and you will find that some words are actually better kept in your heart than said.

8.? Focus on the present and use metacognition to perceive your own thinking.

Thinking creates emotions and pain. As long as you agree with thinking and are in an unconscious state, pain is inevitable.

For example:

When we see two cats fighting, they will spread out peacefully after fighting, as if nothing had just happened.

Cats are always focused on the present life, and don't think about the fight that has just happened, so there is no concept of time.

However, we have been controlled by our thinking, so we can't focus on the present. We always focus on the past, or judge the present by past experience, or worry about the future. We never really leave our thinking behind to feel the present.

Therefore, it is an effective way to feel the present and maintain the "state of presence". Presence is the presence of awareness in the present.

the so-called perception is the ability to actively observe one's own thinking activities, as an observer of one's never-ending stream of thoughts.

9.? Let go of the fearless competition.

Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others that their figure is better than yours, maybe they are still envious of your appetite, you envy others that they are richer than you, maybe they are still envious of you, and no one comes to borrow money from you.

11.? Refuse to procrastinate and maintain self-discipline.

Staying up late watching videos, playing games all night, and going to bars and nightclubs can make you release dopamine quickly and get pleasure, but after these short-term pleasures are over, it is followed by emptiness, which often makes you feel at a loss.

the things that really enrich you are things that don't seem so easy.

For example:

Go to bed early and get up early, keep fit and read a good book.

Enjoyment is happiness, and persistence is never so easy, so there are not many excellent people. When you can really be self-disciplined, you have become a member of the excellent circle.

I used to have a bad habit of procrastination. For example, I originally planned to read a book, but in a few minutes, I opened WeChat and Weibo, and started endless immersive entertainment. And so on, procrastination is extremely inefficient.

Later, I forced myself to make a detailed plan and carry it out efficiently. Every day was busy and full. I read the monthly plan first in the morning, and then strengthened my short-term goals. Then I started early classes, read books for half an hour every day, read some news on my way to work, listen to some classic books in fragmented time at noon, keep exercising after work in the evening, do sports, read books for an hour after going home, and write a diary before going to bed to summarize today.

Now I have changed from a weak person to a person who climbs the 12nd floor without breathing. It only took me six months.

11.? Overcome one's fear.

Everyone is afraid of things, such as uncertainty, public speaking, taking risks and so on. We are often held back by our own fears.

However, a correct understanding of fear is an opportunity that can help us succeed.

Always take fear as a breakthrough. If you are afraid of something, it means that you have not faced it squarely. Then, by overcoming this fear, you will continue to achieve positive growth.

12.? Anxiety is the norm, but don't be overly anxious.

When I made some mistakes in my work and was criticized by the leaders, I fell into self-denial, feeling that I didn't do well anywhere and it was useless to do anything. Because ideas and creativity can't be supported by others, they feel that they can't do anything but sit and eat and wait for death. These behaviors are all manifestations of amplifying anxiety.

and the best way to get rid of anxiety is to refuse to just think about it, do everything you should do to achieve your goal, get yourself moving, never think about thousands of roads at night, and wake up in the morning and go the same way.

13. Learn to control emotional stress.

Life will not be smooth sailing. Only the prince and princess in fairy tales can enjoy eternal and beautiful happiness.

Real life is always full of challenges, both fun and pain, but no matter how many "difficulties" and "hardships", life will continue, so what you should do at this stage is to face the challenges of life bravely, try to adapt to the living environment and learn to adjust your mood.

14. In life, it is never easy to say defeat.

In the struggle of life, you will often encounter setbacks and failures. If you lose your self-confidence, it will not only lead to greater failure, but even lead to human tragedy.

On the contrary, as long as you fully believe in yourself, firmly believe that setbacks and difficulties are temporary, and continue to struggle with the spirit of never giving up, sooner or later you can wait until the clouds clear.

15. Learn to turn regrets into lessons.

Everyone will do things that he regrets, but often regretting is a denial of himself, and even causes others to deny himself, which is a waste of time and a delay of fighter planes.

But on the contrary, if you can always reflect on yourself and turn regrets into profound lessons, you can use these regrets to guide your future path and continue to grow and progress in your later life.

16. Don't force your thoughts on others.

when a friend tells you about his sufferings, in fact, he already has some ideas in his mind, and he just wants to confirm himself by chatting with you.

So don't jump to conclusions easily, but use open questions to guide each other and make them express their true thoughts.

17. Learn to master the method of persuasion.

In the face of frustrated people, it is more important to explain, rather than simply comfort, instead of just saying good things lightly and perfunctory things.

instead, we should respect the facts, and then gradually help the other party find a way out from the bad things and ignite the hope in his heart.

18. Be yourself and don't make meaningless arguments.

When you are at a high level, you say something that makes others feel silly. Maybe it's not your problem, but others' level can't understand it.

so there is no need to argue every time, because many times it is meaningless to argue.

19. when something feels wrong, stop all cooperation.

People who can't get along with each other don't want to have any interests, since the language communication is already at odds, let alone specific cooperation matters.

What seems to drive things is reason, but in fact, it is emotion behind it. Even if you do nothing, you will still have enemies and allies. You didn't choose them, but they chose you.

21. Good relationships are all made by consulting.

If you want to establish a social relationship with someone whose value is higher than yours, the best way is to ask him for advice and fully demonstrate your learning ability and execution ability. The most important step is to give him your feedback in time.

let him know that it is because of his guidance that you have made such achievements, so that he will take extra care of you.

Because "being a good teacher" is a kind of human nature, if you meet his psychological needs, he will naturally pay special attention to you.

21. Don't make friends by force.

the core premise of interpersonal communication is that two people's own values should be equal, at least not too far apart.

Sometimes you will find that the more equal the value, the easier it is for two people to get close to each other, so if you want to expand your contacts, you don't just add a bunch of people's contact information when you attend a course or activity. If you don't have equal value, it's no use knowing more people.

22. Show your edge at the right time.

in the process of communicating with others, you need to keep your own edge, and you don't have to be extra careful about everything.

Sometimes being too polite to others is actually a disguised form of flattery. In the long run, others will become less and less concerned about your feelings and even despise you.

23 put away your ostentation psychology.

If you have made some achievements, or you are better than others in some respects, don't show off, because this will only bring you a little vanity, and the rest will only make everyone jealous of you.

Except for your closest relatives, no one will sincerely wish you success. That's human nature. People who love to show off won't have sincere friends.

24. Learn to praise the people around you.

"Praise others" is the lowest way to improve your interpersonal relationship.

For example,

When you see a girl you know wearing a new dress, you say, "This dress is really beautiful today, and you feel so beautiful in it." This simple sentence doesn't cost you any effort, but it will definitely make this girl happy, and eventually the relationship between your will get better and better.

it is also suitable for all kinds of interpersonal relationships around you.

25. don't owe anyone anything.

People often say, "Asking for help is like swallowing a three-foot sword, and relying on people is as heavy as heaven."

Everything depends on yourself first and try your best to solve it. There is no such thing as a free lunch and nothing for nothing. If you use your so-called personal connections, you will have to pay them back in the end, and it is often not possible to solve them with money.

Therefore, if you can solve problems with money, you should never use human feelings. Human feelings are the most difficult usury in the world.

26. Don't say hypocritical words, and don't do things against your will.

It's the most basic social principle in the adult world to do things without being humble or trying to please others.

From now on, everything you say and do should come from your heart, not from a false stitch. In the long run, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that you have gained more goodwill and respect than before.

27. Don't be forced to blend in if it's not your circle.

Birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups, and the circles are different. There is no need to be hard-wired. Choosing what suits you will ultimately be futile.

after you have a clear understanding of your position and keep forging ahead to a higher level, you will find that the phoenix tree will attract the phoenix and the willow tree will attract the spring breeze.

28. think twice about every word you say.

As the saying goes, a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts six months.

Before speaking, everyone should think about the other person, himself and the consequences. Don't make the other person sad, don't embarrass yourself, and don't say a lot of things that should not be said on impulse, which may become a burden for himself in the future.

29. Don't be a bad person at will.

There is only one step between a good man and a bad man. It is a good man to try his best to help those in need within his own ability.

Without principles, we give everything to others without considering ourselves, but this is abusive. We should choose to be the former and pay with dignity in order to gain equal dignity and equal treatment.

31. Always keep your sincerity.

If a person lacks a sincere attitude, it is just like the lack of friendship, happiness and love in life. No one sympathizes with his misfortune, rejoices in his achievements and pays no attention to his experiences.

If a person is full of sincerity, his success or failure will never be in his heart, and he always lives his life sincerely. He has no guilt, regret or fear, but sincerity is the magic weapon for his interpersonal communication.

31. Don't find someone to love just because you are lonely.