Jokes, jokes are a kind of humor to ourselves and others in life, and also a way to make us laugh. A joke is a conversation or story that can make us laugh, and it is something that makes people laugh. The following is a little joke.

Xiaoduanzi 1 hilarious Duanzi 1

1, my home is a small hotel, and the three of us are eating. My parents quarreled over trifles. My mother said angrily, "whoever TM opens the door to the hotel in a while is a bastard." Then sure enough, a guest asked the boss to open the door, but my parents didn't go ~ ~

Then I silently went to get the key. Let you scold!

Anyway, I have to go,,,,

Brother-in-law went out for a drink. After a while, my son cleaned the car with steel balls, wrote a composition for the summer vacation and helped his father do housework. ...

Now this boy is crying wolf! hahaha ......

My daughter is three or four years old. She needs to take medicine when she has a cold. She cried when she saw a cup of bitter medicine, so she didn't drink it.

Finally, I said, "You choose, whether you drink it yourself or dad."

The daughter thought for half a minute, gritted her teeth and said, "Irrigation! ! ! ! "

4. When my son failed in the Chinese exam, my father slapped him and shouted, "I don't think so at all! Why do you choose' right' in the judgment question? "

The son cried and said confidently, "You see, the test paper clearly says' Deduct points if you answer wrong'."

Funny jokes and jokes 2

1. Walking the dog in the morning, I saw a pupil sitting on the steps pouting with his schoolbag on his back. The puppy rushed over and barked. The child cried at that time, crying and shouting: The puppy still bit me. Do you think I'm not miserable enough? ! I have started school.

I saw two children playing with fire while walking yesterday. Child A said, Do you know what this is?

Child b: it's on fire! What else can it be!

Child A: This is not an ordinary fire, this is a bonfire! Do you know what a bonfire is? The one who can call the army!

Child b: will you call the army?

Child a: yes! If we make the fire bigger, the two of us will call the fire department. ,,,,,,

My husband loves to drink, and he also likes to invite friends to drink at home.

That day, I found a bottle of wine in my daughter's room. Thinking of her unhappy expression when my husband and cousin were drinking the night before, I asked my daughter, "Did you take your father's wine away last night?"

"You didn't see him drink like that. If you drink any more, I'll confiscate their wine. " Speaking of which, my daughter is angry.

"Did he quarrel with you?"

My daughter gave me a white look: "Think about it, if you take away the bones chewed by the dog, can the dog not worry?"

Joke 2 1, the classmate interviewed a big company and admitted two people, about fifty or sixty people. The exam question is: let the examiner remember himself in the shortest time. My classmate gave the examiner a mouth without saying a word and turned and ran away. Tell him to go to work the next day. He thought for a long time and gave up.

2. The director and the * * * section chief take the elevator. After farting, the director said to the section chief, You farted. The section chief said: I didn't put it there. Soon, the section chief was dismissed. The director said at the meeting: you can't afford to take care of big things. What's the use of asking you

Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: people at least have their own house, unlike you who live in a dormitory.

4. I saw that "the food in the canteen can only be used to feed pigs, but it is actually returned to us?" I thought of a sentence. A classmate went to the canteen to cook. After dinner, he asked the chef, "Master, why did you put the rice in the sand?"! ! ! "

When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and one tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed.

6. A boy gave a nickname to a girl in his class, called Fat Pig. The girl cried to the teacher, who promised to criticize the boy. The next day, the teacher said in class, "A boy is too rude. You can't always call others anything by giving them a nickname, can you?"

7. A police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and rushed over to ask it: I am a police dog. What are you? The ordinary dog looked at it dismissively and said, idiot, you see clearly, I am plain clothes!

8. After seeing the former patient, the doctor called the name on the latter medical record card: Lin Shuangniao, Lin Shuangniao. After several calls, no one came in to see the doctor, and then went on to see the next one. After a long time, a man came in and asked, why isn't it my turn yet? The doctor asked his name. The man said: My name is Lin.

9. Passing by a small shop, the speaker inside shouted strangely: "The boss has run away, and the boss has no intention of operating. All goods as long as 25 yuan. 25 yuan for leather shoes, 25 yuan for luggage, 25 yuan for bedding, all 25 yuan, 25 pieces for the audience. Don't miss it when passing by ... "I stood and listened for a long time, but I didn't want to leave for a long time.

10, go to eat rice noodles at noon. There are several kinds of rice noodles in the shop, ordinary 4 yuan, crossing the bridge rice noodles 10 yuan ... only a few are talking. Man: "I don't understand why crossing the bridge rice noodles is so expensive." More expensive than ordinary, 6 yuan? "Woman:" I don't know, maybe this 10 yuan includes the toll! " "

Joke 3 1. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?"

2. In the past, others came to menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" " "

When I was in college, a classmate quarreled with me and was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid! I spit in your face with shit.

When I was a child, selling popsicles and ice cream was generally pushing bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )

My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

6, a KTV song, a MM shouted: Give me a Shuang Jie cut with a stick every week.

7. I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over and beat the rabbit crazily. The elephant trembled and said to the lion, why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health! The lion said: since the rabbit took ecstasy, he has asked me to run with him every day!

8. In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit. She proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit: ah, little rabbit, do you know how good the neck is? Do you know how sweet the top leaves are? Do you know the feeling of drinking water in summer? Cool water flowed slowly through her neck. The rabbit looked at her and only said, "Have you tried to throw up?"

9. Once my brother hit me and hit me on the head with a bag. Later, my brother wanted to pack things, but he couldn't find his bag, so he took the bag on my head to pack things.