You can try these methods when you are considering whether to be a stay-at-home mother or go to work.

There are many married and fertile female friends around, and they often have to face a choice, whether to be a full-time mother or go to work. If you choose to be a full-time mother, you can always accompany your child to grow up, but you have to rely on your husband to survive, and your income depends on his face. If you choose to go to work, you may not have time to take care of your children, and your relationship with them may be alienated.

How to make a choice? I recently read the book "Diligence in Copper Mining" and summed up two methods, which may be helpful to you.

1. Faced with a variety of choices, make a choice with careful thinking.

When we choose to be a stay-at-home mother or go to work, we can use careful thinking.

Take the choice of being a full-time mother or going to work as an example. We can take the following measures:

First of all, clarify what you really want from the source. Do you want to grow up with your children, have a successful career, or have both?

There was once a friend whose parents divorced when he was a child. She grew up with her father, and she always longed for her mother to accompany her. So after she got married and had children, she resolutely resigned from her present job and chose to accompany her children until she graduated from primary school.

Someone once asked her: Do you regret your original choice? She said: "I regret it for a moment, but as long as I think that I grew up with my children, I don't regret it."

Second, list all the factors you should consider when making a choice, such as contacts, growth opportunities, ability improvement, income and so on.

Third, score all the factors and consider whether this factor is important to you.

Fourth, weigh all the scores, choose the best decision you think, and then take action.

2. Transform yourself from hidden assumptions and help yourself make better choices.

In fact, choosing to be a full-time mother or go to work is just a choice in our life. We have to make a choice every day in our life, whether to get up early or not, whether to eat takeout or cook by ourselves.

Copper mine mentioned in the book that every time we face the difficulty of choice, it is actually that we have some hidden assumptions in our minds, but we may not realize it. Let's see what hidden assumptions prevent us from making a choice.

The first hidden hypothesis is the "trajectory hypothesis". First of all, explain the track hypothesis, that is, don't let the children lose at the starting line. People with this assumption think that life is a competition, and only a few people win. They are afraid of competition and failure.

The second hidden hypothesis is the "low correlation hypothesis". I just feel that what I have learned is useless. For example, you learned to draw when you were a child, but you haven't learned it for a while. When you grow up, you won't find this painting useful. In fact, painting is particularly useful for you to use visual thinking in the workplace. Everything we learn in life has influenced us to some extent, but we may not realize it.

The third hidden assumption is the "rigid assumption". In fact, we believe that our abilities are innate and cannot be cultivated. I believe that people who come to read this article will not have this idea. When you read the article, it shows that you have a heart that believes you can grow.

The fourth hidden assumption is "zero-sum game". People who have this idea just want to fight for their own interests in the competition and never have a win-win idea.

Knowing so many hidden ideological misunderstandings, how can we get rid of them?

Three methods of copper mining are put forward.

The first is the target suspension. In fact, when we pursue two or more goals, we can pursue them at different times. For example, we can choose to work hard within one year, develop our hobbies in eight months and two months, and spend two months with our families.

The second is ability grafting. We may experience different industries in our work. For example, you used to be the manager of a fast food restaurant, but now you are operating from the media. You can transfer your ability to do the overall operation of the catering industry to self-media operations.

The third is the transformation of characteristics. Many of us think that I do the work and I do the hobbies, so we can clearly distinguish between work and hobbies. But why not try to add hobbies to your work? For example, if you like writing, use your writing method to report your work at work. Change your hobby and apply it to your work.

Personally, I think the most practical part of the selection of "diligence" is careful thinking and comprehensive weighing of various factors. If you are making important decisions in your life, you can use refined thinking, which may help you make better choices.

I hope today's content can help you.

I'm Di Tianyu, thank you for reading.

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