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Jack galloped along the street on his bicycle, and people in the past gave way.

The policeman stopped him and asked, "Why are you riding so fast?"

Jack replied, "Sorry, my brakes are broken, so I want to ride back and repair them as soon as possible to avoid accidents."

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A man suspected that his wife was mentally ill, so he asked the doctor: She was always worried that her clothes would be stolen.

doctor: what evidence is there? A: I went home early once and found that she hired a man to look at her clothes in the closet.

3. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = > Tang Priest woke up in the morning and saw Wukong die suddenly on the ground. Pig cried and said, "Master, you talked in your sleep last night and read the magic spell all night. . 。”

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Students went to a big company for an interview, and two students were admitted and fifty or sixty people signed up. The exam question is: let the examiner remember himself in the shortest time. My classmate gave the examiner a mouth without saying a word, then turned around and ran away. Inform him to go to work the next day.

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A: I fell in love with her at first sight, and I knew intuitively that there must be some mysterious fate between us.

B: Really? Did you strike up a conversation with her?

A: of course, I chased it very hard, and at the last minute, I used my killer card to tell her that my father was a millionaire.

B: wow, then you must live happily ever after.

A: yes, we live together. she is my stepmother now.

6. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = One day, two children went to the grocery store to buy things. When they came in, they saw the boss sleeping, so they woke him up. The boss reluctantly got up and asked. The first child said, "I want a pack of instant noodles." The boss looked up at the instant noodles on the top shelf, reluctantly brought the ladder, and just wanted to send the two kids away quickly and then go to sleep. Just as he was about to climb up to get instant noodles, the boss wisely asked the second child, "Do you also want a pack of instant noodles?" The child replied: "No". The boss took a pack of instant noodles and asked the second child, "What do you want now?" The child said, "I want two packs of instant noodles."

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Quit smoking, and there is still a whole piece of Chinese at home. Who will take it? Two men: I've given up drinking, and there are still some bottles of Maotai. Who wants to get them? The three men made an excited expression and asked, Do you have any abstinence?

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Alcoholics applied for a job in a wine company and tasted wine for more than a dozen times. The examiners were all shocked. The manager winked at the female secretary, who took a cup of urine and handed it to her. After drinking, the drunkard said: Female, 23 years old, pregnant for 2 months! Suddenly the whole audience was silent. The drunkard thought the application failed, and angrily said, If you don't give me this job, I'll tell the father of the child! Several leaders present said with one voice: "You have been admitted

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A fat man walked in and claimed to lose 21 kilograms in three days. The beautiful staff led the fat man to a big room.

There was a naked brunette with a sign around her neck:

Caught me playing 3 times! Beauty at present, of course, the fat man chased the beautiful woman all the way around the room.

After running for a long time, he finally caught the beautiful woman with dark hair and played it three times smoothly. On the 1 th

day, he lost 4 kilograms! The next day, the beautiful staff led the fat man to another bigger room. < P > There was a naked blonde in it with a sign around her neck: < P > Caught me playing 5 times! With yesterday's pleasant experience, the fat man naturally tried harder to catch up,

and played it five times smoothly after a chase. The next day, he lost 6

kilograms! On the third day, the fat man thought to himself,

No matter how charming the beautiful woman is today, I just won't run away until you refund her money.

Hehehehehehe ... The beautiful staff took her to a small room today.

The fat man was wondering how to change it into a small room.

I only saw a female orangutan in the room, with a sign around her neck:

. ! ! !

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Mother and daughter went swimming in the swimming pool, and their bathing suit was accidentally broken when their daughter dived. Mother quickly picked up the placard by the pool to cover her daughter, and people couldn't help laughing after reading the placard. The placard reads: dangerous, 2 meters deep, used by skilled people. Mother quickly adjusted the placard, and this time, people laughed even more. On the back, it was: male only, please undress before entering. The embarrassed mother took another placard and read it. It read: Adult 31 yuan, 11 yuan for children, half price for more than 21 people. So I changed it immediately, and I almost passed out after reading it. The placard reads: Business hours are 9: 11 am-11 pm. Looking at the people who were laughing almost out of breath, my mother's only hope was pinned on the last placard, but when she saw the placard, she really fainted. The placard said: This is a * * * use area, please keep it clean for the health of others.