"New Crosstalk" by Wang Ping and Zheng Jian B: Friends, the crosstalk competition is about to begin! The program I am participating in is a traditional cross talk "Reporting the Name of the Dish". Today, I will give you a report and ask for your valuable opinions. Let me tell you the names of the great dishes from the North and the South, as well as the Manchu and Han banquets. I treat you to steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, braised pig, stewed duck in sauce, chicken, bacon, loose flower belly, cold pork sausage, assorted crispy plate, sesame and ghee rolls, and steamed eight-treasure pork rice. Stuffed duck, red meatballs, white meatballs, fried meatballs, fried meatballs, Sixi meatballs, shrimp meatballs, fish breast meatballs, fried meatballs, tofu meatballs, steamed meatballs, and first-grade meat, cherry meat, horse tooth meat, red braised meat, yellow braised meat jar Meat, red meat, meat... meat... (seeing A on stage and started to speak incoherently) meat... meat... A: What are you doing? B: Talk about cross talk A: Which part? B: Tell me the name of the dish. A: What is your surname? B: No need to give your last name... A: How do you call it? B:….. A:…? (Thoughtfully) B: It’s me~ A: Never heard of it... B: I’m new! A: If you continue this way, you will definitely still be a new person when you are 99 years old. B: Why? A: The way you handle this line is called tasteless and lacks emotional connotation. B: Ah... what should I say? A: I have some immature suggestions, do you think I should make them? B: Please tell me... A: Those dishes you just mentioned are Zhenzhuanjiaxiu (the pronunciation is close, I don’t know what it means, buddy). It embodies the wisdom and wisdom of many generations of working people. How can you talk about it so casually? ? B: What should I say? A: When talking about this cross talk, you must have a sacred sense of historical mission and responsibility. You must think of the ancient country's long history, and you must think that you are showing Chinese civilization to all mankind. The sound of the song, with the power to swallow mountains and rivers, conveys the vicissitudes of history with the most beautiful sense of language... B: Shall I come? A: You try... B: (Looking at A after posing, then howling) I'll treat you to some~! ! ! A: (sitting on the ground) B: Teacher...huh? Teacher... (Looking for A) A: You are not inviting people to eat... B: I am... A: I am trying to eat people... The power of swallowing up mountains and rivers is not howling... B: Then I should A: Try to figure it out myself B: I am treating you to eat … A: The fault was found! This person speaks without logic. Do you know what logic is? If you can't express your logic clearly, the other party won't know what you want to express. Do you know what logical accent is? Tell me again, what did you say? B: I'll treat you to a meal... A: Okay, who's going to treat you to a meal? B: Me A: The logical emphasis should be on "I" B: Okay, I understand. I'll treat you to food... A: What do you want to do? B; treat. A: The word "please" is also accented. B: I treat you to a meal... A: Who are you treating? B: Invite you. A: Your target is still stressed. B: I'll treat you to something... A: What do you want to treat me to? B: Eat A: Eat Still the accent B: Let me treat you to eat A: Are you choking? ! Why did you choke without eating? Okay, okay... this is too profound, come down and figure it out for yourself, go down... B: Just go down, steamed lamb A: Pay attention to the cries... B: Steamed bear paws A: Lower it B: Steamed deer tail A: Raise it up~ B: Roasted duck, roasted chicken... A: Dun! ! (Conductor) B: Burn...boy...goose... A: That's roughly what it means. I've always said it, and you've always heard it. B: You're absolutely right. A: I wish you a complete success in the competition. B: Thank you, thank you... A: Goodbye... I didn't come on a motorcycle, right? B: No... you walk slowly... (A limps off the stage and repeats what he just taught) A: (changes clothes and comes on stage) Wait a minute Hey~ What are you doing? B: Ouch, you didn’t know that an expert just gave me some pointers and I was practicing naming the dishes. Roasted goose... A: (Pinches B's mouth) What bastard gave you the idea of ??reciting the names of the dishes? B: What's wrong? A: Are you ruining our national art? B: Me? A: Crosstalk is a treasure in the treasure house of our Chinese culture. B: Yes... A: What did you do just now? It’s all a pretense of pseudo-drama! B: What is a pseudo-drama? A: So why do you perform like this? ! XXX talks like this? ! B: Then how should I perform? A: I have some immature suggestions, should I give them to you? B: You should talk about it A: Even if cross talk needs to borrow something from drama, it must be our national quintessence Peking Opera! Among the three major XX in the world is our Peking Opera! Stanislavsky, Blancit, Mei Lanfang, why are you imitating foreign devils? ! There is no sect, no sect, a side door! At a small scale, I would say that you worship foreigners, but at a big scale, you would be guilty of the same crime as Wang Jingwei! B: I will become a traitor now... A: Are you going to talk it over? B: What are your plans? A: It is full of success and tone, and it is well-organized. It is best to add the unique figure of our Chinese drama.

B: Should I add the name of the dish and my figure? A: Do you dare to be the first to eat crabs? River crabs... B: (Bar a few mouths) How do you add this? ! Where to add it? A: Add whatever you mentioned! For example, when it comes to steamed lamb, add the body shape of the sheep. B: What is the body shape of the sheep? A: Let me treat you to steamed lamb (make a gesture, raise one leg and make horn-like shapes with both hands) B: Ah~~ I understand! ! I'm coming! I treat you to steamed lamb! (Golden rooster independent posture, hands open very wide) A: This is a buffalo...how can it have such big horns? ! Why! ! That's right! ! (correct posture) B: Oh...this is steamed lamb...then do you think this is what I will do next? Steamed bear paw! ! (Lunge, licking left hand) A: Why are you applauding for this? ! This palm is useless! ! Who dares to eat it if you lick it so dirty? ! Change your palm! Protrude the palm position a little higher, yes! ! B: Oh...that's it! A: That’s almost it! But then again, what I say may not be right. So I say it, so you listen to it. B: What you said makes sense! A: Come on, I wish you a complete success in the competition! I came without a hat, right? B: It seems you don’t ride a motorcycle either... A: Goodbye~~ B: This has to be changed to... (repeat what you just taught) A: (change clothes) Stop, stop, stop! ! Stop acting! What's the difference between acting like this and acting like a monkey? ! B: What does it mean to play monkey? ! A: Who asked you to perform like this? ! B: This is not... (helpless) What's wrong? ! AB: I have some immature suggestions, do you think I should make them? B: I knew it was this! ! A: First of all, let me say that I don’t understand art... B: Huh? ! A: But I am a kind person! I know that humans eat to live, but living should not be just for eating! Human beings are becoming more and more greedy, and their desire for food is becoming more and more shameless! The innocent and cute little lamb was steamed when told to steam it? ! The tail of the sika deer, a national second-level protected animal, is also on the dining table? ! If you dare to eat the bear's paw and dare to swallow the shark's fin, instead of feeling ashamed, you will feel happy! ! Where is the conscience? ! Where is the law of heaven? ! This cross talk is a denunciation of the cruelty of animals by the senior cross talk! It's a pity that none of you descendants of cross talk can understand the true meaning of this cross talk! ! Animals are our friends, closely related to us, and we are brothers and sisters! ! How can you eat as much as you want and fry as much as you want? ! So if you want to say this cross talk well, you should be full of grief and indignation, suppress your anger, feel guilty, and say with infinite sadness... AB: (Gradually crying) I treat you to steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tail, roasted flower duck, Roasted chicks, roasted goose, braised pork, braised duck, chicken, bacon, and loose belly... Haha... (stomps the ground three times, beats the chest three times) cold meat sausage... A: That's what he said... (Been beaten by B He stopped talking several times.) B: (Crying bitterly) Oops... A: It's a bit too much... Stop it... B: Oops... A: That's bad, this guy is in the show... B: I'm not acting, this is me real! ! ! A: Then why are you so sad? B: How can I say this cross talk of mine... A: (Push B, stop B, bow and leave the stage) B: (He suddenly burst into tears after taking two steps, and made A run off the stage. over.

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