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Horn: Alas. ...
Xiaoci: Why are you sighing?
Speaker: Good women are hard to find!
Xiaoci: What do you mean?
Trumpet: I don't understand. Things that leave the hall can't leave the kitchen! Anyone who can enter the kitchen is not gentle! Tender and indecisive! Strong-minded and not feminine! Feminine and extravagant! Old-fashioned people who don't spend money indiscriminately! Not old-fashioned and a little uneasy! No peace of mind!
Xiaoci: How many points can I get?
Speaker: You, pass the exam.
Xiaoci: Alas. ...
Trumpet: What a sigh!
Xiaoci: Good men are hard to find! What about talented people? They are ugly! Handsome and unreliable! Reliable, not romantic! Romantic and dishonest! Honestly, it's boring! Have fun, don't leave home! Gu Jia, you are too timid! Don't worry if you are not timid! Don't worry, don't!
Speaker: What about those you want? I may not give it to you!
-Plan-"A"
Gubiao: trumpet, did you discuss what I told you last time? Actually, I have a good personality. I kill people quickly, and I have it all over me. Robbery, I don't do small tricks. I am also a good leader in the pirate world.
Horn: I changed my mind. I still want you dead. I feel very happy at the thought of you hanging yourself.
Gu Biao: No way. I looked ugly when I died. Tell you what, if you let me go, I'll marry Xiaoci to you. I will be your father-in-law
Trumpet: After you die, she can still marry me. It makes no difference whether you are my father-in-law. Burn more paper for you at most in the future.
-Plan-"A"
Speaker: There are so many men and women in this world, so many men have found their favorite women, and so many women have found their favorite men. It's amazing! I found it, too, but I found a woman who can't be with me ...
-Plan-"A"
Junbao: Anyone who worships a teacher should splash water to wash away the sins of the soul.
Junbao: Actually, it's just a symbolic ceremony.
Master Junbao: Meaning ... (A small handleless wine cup)
(They are overjoyed)
Master Junbao: Wait! The ceremony has just begun,
Two disciples: meaning ... (bowl)
Two disciples: meaning meaning ... (gourd ladle)
Two disciples: meaning meaning ... (basin)
Junbao: Oh ~ ~ ~ meaning. . Yi ~ Ha ~ (............)
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Taoist: Hey, does Heifeng Town know the way?
Junbao (driver): I know ... I really know ... I know ... (hoarse)
Taoist: Brother coachman, come and have something to eat.
Junbao (driver): You're welcome (hoarse)
Taoist: Come here, it's my treat.
Taoist: It must be very hard for you to be drivers.
Junbao: Right, right. .....
Taoist: It's so hard every day, 365 days a year.
Junbao: Right, right.
Taoist priest: Are you in a hurry?
Junbao: Right, right. ....
Taoist priest: Is it urgent?
Military newspaper; Yeah, yeah. ....
Taoist: Are you in a hurry to attend the Wulin Congress?
Military newspaper; Yeah, yeah. ...
Taoist priest: So you pretended to be a coachman and cheated the master?
Junbao: Right, right. -I'm depressed. )
Taoist: Do you want to charge more?
Junbao: Right, right. ......
Taoist: Still! ! ! ! ?
Junbao: Huh? No, no.
Taoist smiled and said, Are you happy to come out with Master?
Junbao: Right, right (voice changes back)
The Taoist laughed, Aren't you hungry when you are happy?
Junbao: No, no!
Taoist: Then don't worry after dinner!
Junbao: Right, right, right, right. ......
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Zhang Junbao (Mandarin): I know why you are called Yi Tianxing, because you go against the sky!
Zhang Junbao (Cantonese): I know your explanation is Yi Tian Xing, because you go against the sky! -(At this time, "Yi" and "Inverse" are homonyms)
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Tao Hong takes Junbao's hand and walks into the yard)
Junbao: Hey, men and women don't kiss, and catering is not solemn!
Dao Hong (thumping Junbao's chest): Hate, hate, hate!
Junbao: Hey, Buddha also has fire. I helped you find a husband, and you hit me.
Daohong: Why do you want him here?
Junbao: You said you wanted to find a smart, handsome young man with a martial arts surname Gong. That's the problem!
Daohong: I don't want him!
Junbao: If you don't want to do this, you can look for it slowly, so you don't have to be angry, fool! Do you want to comb your hair and not get married? ...
Daohong (pointing to the tip of Junbao's nose): Zhang Junbao! Are you playing dumb or are you really that stupid?
Junbao: What!
Dao Hong: When I say the only thrill, I mean ... you!
Junbao: Me?
Dao Hong: You!
Junbao: Me?
Dao Hong: You!
Junbao: Me?
Dao Hong: Yes! It is you! (He kisses Junbao on the face)
Junbao (wiping his face): Ah, in this case, in this case, let me have a look. Young, smart, handsome, martial arts, surnamed Gong, half a head taller than you ... Oh, not counting the bun, I am really half a head taller than you!
Daohong: I've decided that I won't marry anyone but you.
Junbao: When was it decided? Why didn't you tell anyone?
Dao Hong: Since I had that dream the second night I met you, I felt that I was in love with you. It seems like yesterday now.
Junbao: But men have their own careers. I should concentrate on practicing martial arts!
Daohong: Don't worry, I won't bother you. I will be a good wife!
Junbao: You are a good wife, but I am not a good husband. I'm sorry!
Dao Hong: No, no, no, I've been following you for so long. I believe you must be a good husband!
Junbao: I'm not sure myself. How can you be sure?
Daohong: Do you really dislike me?
Junbao: No.
Daohong: OK, let me ask you some questions. If you have something good, will you share it with me?
Junbao: Of course, it is hard for a person to get fat!
Daohong: What will happen to you if I am unhappy?
Junbao: I will be unhappy and more sad than you.
Daohong: If your house caught fire, who would you save, me and a dog?
Junbao: I never had a dog.
Daohong: What about the cat?
Junbao: Cats, like dogs, are alive. I will save them both.
Dao Hong: No, only one can be saved!
Junbao: Good! Then I will save you!
Daohong: Well, that means you have fallen in love with me!
Junbao: No way, that's nothing. I do this to everyone.
Daohong: Zhang Junbao! Are you a man?
Junbao: One hundred percent!
Daohong: But a man should marry a wife!
Junbao: My two masters are both men, but they are not married!
Daohong: But I calculated our birth dates. It really matches!
Junbao: Birthday matching doesn't mean you have to marry me!
Daohong: I must marry!
Junbao: You must marry me, but I don't have to marry you!
Daohong: You don't have to marry me. Okay, you're right.
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
(Ming Dow Rhett enters the yard)
Junbao (clapping his hands to her): Ah, ah, ah, ah ... still angry with me.
Daohong: Go away!
Junbao: A girl should not always tell others to go away. Of course she has something good for you. Come on, come on.
Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a martial artist named Zhang Junbao. I met a lovely little girl at some time in a month. Her name is Ming Dow Hong. Junbao didn't want to marry my father as a concubine to help her escape from my father's clutches, so he took her away overnight. Since then, they have been holding hands, heart to heart, wandering the rivers and lakes, climbing mountains and mountains. Finally, one day, they came to a place called Taixuguan and lived a happy life. After countless sunrises and sunsets, the little girl is slim and graceful, and a heart to be married is ready to move, so her good brother looks for her ideal partner everywhere. It doesn't matter if you are unlucky for the first time. As the saying goes, you have lost many battles and accumulated experience before you go into battle, so one day your good brotherhood will help you find your Mr. Right!
Dao Hong (slapping Junbao in the face): Go to hell!
Junbao: Hey, I was really kind enough to be slapped!
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
Zhang Sanfeng: Black sesame,
Partridge: Wow!
Zhang Sanfeng: White sesame.
Partridge: Go!
Zhang Sanfeng: So he bought it? What a fool ...
General Fei Long: Zhang Junbao!
Zhang Sanfeng: Partridge, did you hear someone calling me?
Partridge: Yes, behind you! ! …………
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
"When I find that rival in love, I will definitely cut him to pieces!" Yi Tianxing said angrily.
"No way?" Zhang Junbao frowned and said, "Sweeping the floor is afraid of hurting the life of ants, senior."
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
"Brother Donkey, I have a question for you." Zhang Sanfeng looked at the donkey and said.
"I have a question for you, too." Said the donkey.
"I'll ask first!" Zhang Sanfeng said.
"I'll ask first!" Said the donkey.
"I'll ask first!" Zhang Sanfeng said, "Have you ever seen a girl passing by talking about beauty and ugliness?" "yes." Said the donkey.
"Then where did she go?" Zhang Sanfeng asked in a hurry.
"She walked from my left eye to my right eye, and then from my right eye to my left eye."
"Then what?" Zhang Sanfeng asked eagerly.
"Then I blinked," said the donkey, "and she was gone."
"It's no use saying it!" Zhang Sanfeng wanted to leave, and the donkey cried, "You haven't said my question yet!"
"What?" Zhang Sanfeng turned and asked.
"Did you see a little donkey pass by you and say whether it is beautiful or not?"
"Yes," said Zhang Sanfeng, "it goes from my left eye to my right eye, and then from my right eye to my left eye."
"Then what?" The donkey asked anxiously.
"Then in the blink of an eye, I was killed."
"ah? Really? ! "
-"Young Zhang Sanfeng"
I don't understand: nonsense is really useless ~
-"Smart and Little Don't Understand"
I don't understand: 200 sticks is ok! (suddenly awakened) ah! I helped Ye Jia Temple, and I need a stick! ! ~
-"Smart and Little Don't Understand"
I don't understand: I'm not saying this as a teacher Zhu Zheng, but as a lovelorn man who has been dumped by a woman he likes very much and desperately wants her to be happy ~
-"Smart and Little Don't Understand"
Endless: I have! I patted him with the trick of "the ghost king throws a fan" to see if he woke up. If he is not awake, I will bang him in the chest with Prajna fist. If he doesn't wake up, wow, that's amazing! I kicked him straight to the left in the chest with "willow leaves grinding waist and piercing legs", kicked him to the heart with the edge of toe and tail, made him fly into the sky like a kite, and then fell down. Did you wake up? Ha ha ha ha.
Don't understand: Hum! Oh! You are a pervert! That's my student! One stroke, "Liu Ye grinds his waist and pierces his heart", goes to the left in his chest and kicks his heart with the tail edge of his toes, making him fly like a kite. That's it?
-"Smart and Little Don't Understand"
I don't understand: which one can't be found? Although I have done a big favor for Ye Jia Temple, don't reward me, or I will be proud! It doesn't matter if you don't have to wash the toilet for one year or two years; It doesn't matter if you don't have morning classes for one year or two years; There's no harm in adding two hundred and twenty pieces of silver.
-"Smart and Little Don't Understand"
Fish: Your name is Qin Si, and the other is Gao Wa.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fairy: "A rooster and a hen guess three words."
Fish: "I love you."
Fairy: "No, it's three chickens."
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: The door should be opened as far as possible, the wedding procession should be as long as possible, the horn should be as loud as possible, the groom should be as loud as possible, and the bride should be dressed as low as possible with presbyopia. Am I right?
Nothing: I disagree. It should be thorough. You can do it without it ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
The fish found that the bag containing the fairy ashes was missing, so he asked Su Ying, "Where are my ashes?"? ! "
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: "Who dares to hurt my young master?"
Mr. Murong: "Who are you?"
Fish: "I am Mr. Murong's new servant-my name is Mr. Murong for nothing!" " "
Fish: "don't worry, master, no one can hurt you with me." Whoever comes here, please sign up! " "
Next paragraph:
Fish: "Who dares to hurt my young master?"
Mr. Murong: "Who are you?"
Fish: "Don't be afraid, young master, I am the new servant of Murong family-Murong toilet!" " "
Fish: "don't worry, master, no one can hurt you with me." Whoever comes here, please sign up! " "
Mr. Murong: "But you look like the dead Mr. Murong git just now!" " "
Fish: "Yes, he is my brother! What, is he dead? Who killed it? "
Murong: "That's her!"
Fish: "Shit, my brother has nothing against you, and you killed him!" " ! I will fight with you! "
Fish: "in one word, silly!" " "
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fairy: What would you do if there was only one incense left in your life?
Fish: I will marry a fairy.
Fairy: What would you do if there was only one fragrance left in the fairy's life?
Fish: I will marry a fairy.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Presbyopia: Go away ~!
Fish: Don't be so gentle, I will faint ~ ~ ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: "I am so smart, how can I have a brother like wood?"
Presbyopia: "I am so talented in martial arts, how can I have such a clumsy brother?"
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Jiao Jiao: There is a child in front. If you want to go there by carriage, what should you do?
Fish: You should say sorry first.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Xiao er: guest officer, can you eat so many dishes?
Fish: Are you worried that we won't give money?
Xiao er: I'm really worried that you won't give money!
Small fish hate heaven: small wealth is frugal, big wealth is heaven, and big wealth is due to not giving money.
Xiao er: Are you sure you don't want to pay?
Fish: What's your hurry? I said we had no money on us, and I didn't say we wouldn't give it. I'm going out to look for money now.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: The most boring thing in this world is to be the righteous brother of a beautiful woman, with obligations and no rights.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Hua Wuque: Why are you staring at me?
Tiexinlan: Nothing.
Fish: She is looking at me.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Tiexinlan: Believe!
Fish: I believe it too!
Tiexinlan: But not you!
Fish: Do you believe in getting rich overnight? I've never seen anyone change the subject so quickly! ! ! )
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Murong Zheng: Where are you from?
Bird: Yunnan (small fish)
Murong Zheng: What about the trumpet?
Bird: Yun Bei.
Murong Zheng: Is there a cloud north?
Bird: Of course.
Murong Zheng: Then say hello and listen.
Bird:? #? ￥%—*
(saves a lot of nonsense)
Murong Zheng: Do you know what is the most precious thing in Yunnan?
Bird: Penguin
Murong Zheng: Are there penguins in Yunnan?
Bird: Just because it is not precious!
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: I have always believed that loving someone is a lifelong thing.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: "What's your name?"
Flowers are endless: "Flowers are endless."
Fish: "Real name."
Flowers are endless: "Flowers are endless.
Fish: "Real name?"
Flowers are endless: "Flowers are endless."
Fish: "You are so persistent in trusting you. Hello presbyopia "
Hua Wuque: "Who are you?"
Fish: "Fish is small."
Hua Wuque: "Real name."
Small fish: "small fish"
Hua Wuque: "Real name.
Fish: "Little fish."
Hua Wuque: "Real name."
Fish: "Fish, it's true this time."
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: I know women want to fight. As if it were going to rain, sows give birth to piglets. It makes no difference.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
After Dongchang Fanzi was killed,
Lan Xin: Why are they following us?
Fish: jealous that we love each other.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fairy and Princess Shu: Disciple meets Master.
Fish: Disciple's son-in-law meets Master.
Evil triumphs over right: the son-in-law's apprentice visits the master.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Lan: "But I don't know where the evil thing went."
Fish: Don't worry, no one will sell him to a brothel.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
The little fairy was poisoned, and the little fish hugged her naked to restrain the poison.
When the fairy is well, "what are you thinking?"
Fish to Fairy: I wonder if there is any way to make you have another cold poison attack.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Tie: Who did she say Jiangxia was?
Fish: biological father
Tie Xinlan: What do you think of the biological father?
Fish: I think it looks good.
Tiexinlan: Are you as beautiful as me?
Fish: Beautiful. Big eyes.
Tiexinlan: If her eyes are more beautiful than mine, I'll show them to you.
Fish: Her neck is beautiful, too.
Tiexinlan: What's the use of a neck that is not as beautiful and thick as mine?
Fish: Where is it thick and where is it thin? Those long legs are so beautiful. Unfortunately, there are two white marks on my ass.
Tiexinlan: Do you know that there are white marks on people's buttocks? Did you peek?
Fish: Of course, I have seen the whole body, so I know.
Tiexinlan: Say what?
Fish: Say horse. Didn't you say horses?
Tiexinlan: I mean that woman.
Fish: That horse is also a woman.
Tiexinlan: Bah!
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish said to the fairy: People who turn to the flower palace usually float down two ribbons first, and then dance and scatter petals. You may not see one to three hundred people.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Ernian: What are the benefits?
Fish: It can not only relieve cough and resolve phlegm, but also get rid of the troubles of excessive alcohol and tobacco, lack of sleep, sore throat and hoarseness.
Ernian: No headache and brain fever.
Fish: Eat.
Ernian: I miss other people's headaches and brain fever.
Fish: Eat.
Ernian: I want to play mahjong to win money.
Fish: Give it to him.
Ernian: The creditor doesn't want to pay back the money.
Fish: Give it to him.
Together: ecstasy trilogy, family trip, rape and plunder.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish thought: sit next to me, sit next to me, sit next to me. ...
Jiang Yufeng sat down beside him.
Fish: Hey, hey. ........................................................................................................................................................................
Jiang Biehe: Xiao Xia, are you all right?
Fish: Nothing.
(At this time, I realized that it was just the illusion of a small fish. It turns out that the people sitting next to you are presbyopia. )
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: We first met in the quiet kitchen at night. I went in to steal something to eat and he went in to steal something to eat. At first, we talked, and then we used force ... Evil: Nonsense! How can cockroaches use force on you! !
Fish: Just a bridal chamber. Why not use force?
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: I'm cooking. Do you have any soup?
Hua Wuque: Yes, but I didn't prepare your share.
Fish: Is there any soup residue? Just put some soy sauce ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: What's the matter, someone took advantage of you?
Tu Jiaojiao: No, I fainted for half an hour, then I pretended to faint for half an hour. Those smelly men around me, no one wants to take advantage of me ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: I don't hate it when I need skills. I always thought my flying skills were great! I was out of breath after running for a few steps, and now there are no fast horses. It is impossible to reach Fu Jiang today. Lan Xin must be dead.
(At this moment, I just heard the sound of riding a horse in the sky: Yu Yu Yu Yu)
Fish: It's really hopeless. There is also a village. Another village. Oh, no, it's evil.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Su Ying: Now, wherever the toxin goes, you will be in trouble.
Fish: That's all right. Anyway, I have been a problem child since I was a child, problem of juvenile, a problem youth.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
(Dictyophora dictyophora falls into the red dye vat to catch flower-picking bees)
Fish shook his head and said, don't buy such inferior clothes next time. See what color fades ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: Didn't you say that you should rape first and then kill the Lord who invited the moon palace? I even brought straw mats!
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Tiexinlan: You are shameless!
Fish: I'm satisfied with my face, but I really don't want other people's faces ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
(Broken Cliff)
Fish: You are a dead man, with the opposite sex and no humanity. I cried for so long before I came out to see me. I only had time to carry my wife in. Some members of the opposite sex are inhuman. Do you know how your brother spent these two days? I cried so much that my kidneys failed. I'm afraid I can't find your body. I'm afraid I can't find your body. Do you know that?/You know what? Did I hurt you? Every time he said a word, he hit a Hua Wuque.
Hua Wuque: Do you overestimate yourself or underestimate me?
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
(Xiaoyu pretends that he has lost all his martial arts, and deceives the head of Huashan to stay put)
Evil Heaven: Master, why do you pretend that you have lost all your martial arts? Look at him! You can beat him!
Fish: Of course, this is my unique skill! Get him! But seriously, I am a gentle man. I can't call without saying anything. I'm too aggressive. I might as well be a cricket!
Evil God: Besides, twenty dozen can't beat one.
Fish: Now I give him courage, and he will be even more arrogant when he arrives at the Flower Pass Palace. At this time, someone naturally took it out for me. This move is called courage to let others see when he will die.
Evil Day: Master, you are really amazing!
Fish: This is my unique skill! This is a little skin injury. It's nothing. Don't worry, just rub some soy sauce. Go to the Flower Palace to see a play.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish helped Tiexinlan block Mr. Murong's invincible African paws and began vomiting blood on the road.
Tiexinlan: You, what's wrong with you? !
Fish: Nothing. I firmly hold it in my hand. I haven't vomited blood yet, not bad.
Tiexinlan: Fool, why did you do this for me!
Fish: I don't get in the way. It's you lying now. Can you stand it?
Tiexinlan: Why are you so kind to me? !
Fish: There is no reason to be kind to a person. Toads don't have to eat swan meat, but they have the right to be kind to swans.
(After this sentence is finished, the little fish will be in a coma) ~ ~ ~ Seeing this, I am really moved and my tears can't stop flowing. ...
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Jiang Yufeng: You will fight for friendship. There are not many such people in the world.
Fish: I'm so stupid.
Jiang Yufeng: Very stupid.
Fish: So silly.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
The fish said to Jiang Yufeng, But I can see that you are not like your father. Your sister knew at a glance that your father gave birth to you.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: It doesn't matter whether you die or not. You can't die if you are wronged.
Su Ying: Please help me. I'm really in pain.
Fish: How? How can I personally kill the person I love the most? How can I personally kill the person I love the most?
Su Ying: Do you love me?
Fish: Of course I love you.
Su Ying: You must forget me like a fairy.
Fish: No. With a bang, the knife went into Su Ying's heart.
Su Ying: Forget me.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: A rope to tie my fish? It's not that easy. I will shrink my bones. Is a cup trying to stop me? Not a cup, but a pot? Can't a pot work? Can't the washbasin be a vase? No vase, just a lampshade? Don't ~ ~ ~
Fairy: Haha, the cup can't stop the pot, the pot can't stop the pot, the pot can't stop the bowl, and the bowl can't stop the quilt.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: This story tells us a story about a toad eating swan meat.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish thought: If a woman mentions another woman in front of you, you will belittle that woman, then this woman will be very happy, otherwise she will die miserably.
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish: I have a friend who has been dead for a long time, but his coffin is always open. Why? Because my friend loves kicking the quilt ~ ~ ~ Hahahaha ~ ~ Brother Marco, please go away ~ ~ ~
-Fish and Hua Wuque.
Fish beats Murong Zhi: Say it quickly ~
-Help ~
-Say it ~
-Help ~
!