One sentence makes people laugh.
On the speeding train, there was a young couple whispering in the sleeping car.
The wife said: the car is really slow.
The husband casually replied: Yes.
My wife added, I'm sleepy. Let me sleep.
Husband: I sleep when I am sleepy.
The wife added: Should I take off my shoes and sleep on the upper bunk?
The husband replied, of course, I have to take off my shoes. The wife went on to say, then you must take good care of my shoes and don't be stolen.
The husband replied: OK, don't worry.
The wife lay down and said, I'm fine.
The husband said softly, then close your eyes and sleep. It's almost time when you wake up.
Jump in one word.
The young couple are eating and talking about their husband's family.
The wife said: My sister-in-law and my mother quarreled again the day before yesterday!
Mr. Wang said: Oh, your sister-in-law and your mother often have conflicts. How about reconciliation now?
The wife said: of course, my sister-in-law has apologized to my mother! I was a little smug when I spoke.
Mr. Wang was surprised: Really? Your sister-in-law will also apologize? She has to be reasonable, and time waits for no one! If only she didn't want others to apologize to her, and she would apologize to others? What a surprise!
The wife said: Of course, my mother is a mother-in-law.
Mr. Wang sighed with emotion: hey, it seems that this wicked man has to be grinded by the wicked! As soon as the words were finished, the husband saw his wife's face changed greatly and stared at himself angrily.
What my husband said was purely unintentional, but he made a mistake unintentionally. He called his wife's sister-in-law a villain, which can also be said to be a mockery between husband and wife. Then the wicked at the back will be ground by the wicked, which is already saying that the mother-in-law is wrong. No wonder his wife is unhappy.
guide to action
In modern society, people's life and work are getting faster and faster, and their sense of tension is increasing day by day. There is little time for chatting and joking at work. Going home and talking nonsense for a day can not only release the tension and anxiety brought by work, but also be a kind of enjoyment in itself. Through very relaxed and casual chat, we can increase mutual understanding, which can not only deepen the communication between husband and wife, truly realize the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn, but also greatly reduce misunderstandings in their lives.
Chatting between husband and wife is also an effective way to relieve stress. When women feel stressed, they usually talk to someone about their feelings and the problems that lead to stress. When she feels unsafe talking to others, all she can find is her husband. The wife under pressure doesn't want to find the answer to the question right away, just talk about the question casually to alleviate the degree of sadness.
There are many ways to convey feelings between husband and wife. Every gesture, even a look, a smile, can be a carrier to convey feelings. It's like the machine is always running, but sometimes the machine will get stuck and the emotional chain between husband and wife will break. At this time, nonsense is like a good medicine, which can play an unexpected role in this abnormal situation.
Couples communicate with such teasing words, and never say anything disrespectful to their parents.
Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs
Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs
1. China is not monogamous, but monogamous. No room, no wife, more rooms, more wives. I never understood why my wife was called a big room and two rooms, and now I really understand that the ancients didn't cheat me.
2. At night, my wife came out with a bath towel after taking a shower, and my husband secretly stared at her. My wife said angrily, what are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a beautiful woman take a bath? The husband looked at his wife as a whole and said, I think it's a beautiful woman who got out of prison! ?
Wife: Honey, if your mother and I both fall into the river, who will you save first? Husband: at the same time, save. Wife: How do you save it? Husband: Holding mom and carrying you. Wife angry: no! Dave: What was that? Wife: If you really love me, you have to hold me and carry your mother. Dave: But, but, honey, I can only breaststroke.
4. The wife came home from work, without saying anything, picked up her husband's arm and took a bite. The husband was badly bitten. Looking at the deep tooth marks on his arm, he shouted, Why did you bite me? The wife picked up her husband's arm, carefully looked at the tooth marks on it and said, I didn't mean to bite you. Just now, my colleague at work said that my teeth were uneven, so I bit the tooth marks on your arm to see.
5. Wife: Honey, when did you first find yourself in love with me? Husband: When people call you stupid and ugly and I start to go crazy.
6. A bunch of women are chatting with a man. The man said: I told my wife that my wife has the final say at home and I have the final say outside. A woman said: No wonder your wife always said on the phone that she would come back to discuss something!
7. Husband: Will you do the dishes later? Wife: OK. Husband: Then why don't you move? Wife: I have a headache. Husband: I'm so lazy that you don't have a headache if I don't let you wash the dishes. Wife: Really! The thought of washing dishes gives me a headache.
8. My husband is much taller than me and always likes to hug my shoulder when going out. When I was shopping that day, I said, stop hugging your shoulders and hug your waist. Unexpectedly, my husband looked around and said awkwardly that there were so many people in the street. Do you want me to walk with my back bent?
9. My wife complained to me: When we were in love, you picked me up from work every day, took me to the movies, told me to sleep at night, and talked sweetly all day. Now, hum, you are too lazy to talk to me. While watching TV, I said, This has something to do with my work. I am in sales. When I fall in love, it's like selling products. It's after-sales service time, which is none of my business.
10. Wife: I wonder what fashion will be popular this spring. Husband: There are only two kinds, one is what you don't like, and the other is what you like and I can't afford.
Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs
1. Every time a wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for half a day. This kind of situation is more, the husband has to ask his wife: What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? The wife said: brush the toilet! My husband asked, can I get rid of gas by brushing the toilet? The wife said: I don't know, anyway, every time I use your toothbrush.
2. Run away from home with her husband. One day I called him and said, honey, I bought two cucumbers, which are very fresh and must be delicious. At that time, the market was very noisy. I couldn't hear him, so I turned on the speaker. I heard my husband say, don't buy it if you are with me. People will doubt my function. Dear, I turned on the speakerphone at that time, and the uncle who sold vegetables smiled wretched!
I remember a few years ago, my father and I watched the World Cup and NBA together. Dad proudly said: who will marry my daughter in the future and how happy it is to have a wife to watch the football match with me. Now, when I sit alone in front of the TV watching the European Cup in the middle of the night, I am beside my sleeping husband. I just want to tell my dad in tears: Dad, I looked for my husband, and he didn't watch the ball and refused to accompany me.
One day, Xiao Wang was watching TV with his wife. There is a report on TV: According to the survey, there is hope for men to have an extramarital affair-Xiao Wang quickly explained to his wife: I am another one! As soon as the voice fell, the TV continued to report: The other one hopes to have a lot of extramarital affairs!
The husband scolded his wife and said, did you do this? Waxy! Waxy! Also called vegetables? No, chlorophyll is still a little. Who told you to come home so late every day? Of course, I didn't know they were young on my spatula.
6. The wife works in the customer complaint department of a department store. After quarreling with her husband one day, in order to make up, her husband was also complaining from customers. When it was his turn, he whispered in his wife's ear and took her out for dinner in the evening as an apology. When his wife heard this, she immediately smiled and kissed him. After the husband left, the man behind came forward and said, my complaint is the same as his.
7. Wife: How kind you were to me before you got married. If you run into a puddle while walking, carry me there. Now, you don't do this. I think you love me only half as much as before. Husband: What can I do? At that time, your weight was only half that of today!
An employee of the insurance company is teaching his wife to drive. When the car went downhill, the brakes suddenly failed. Oh, my God, the car can't stop. His wife shouted, what should I do? Pray. He instructed his wife to talk, and then found something cheap to smash!
9. I bought a bottle of gray nail polish today, and it feels good to wear. I just want to show it to my husband. Husband actually said: painting onychomycosis, one infects two!
10. Wife: Honey, I had a dream yesterday. I dreamed that you swept the floor, cooked, washed dishes, washed clothes and did a lot of housework today! Dear, will my dream come true? Husband: Wife, I also had a dream yesterday. I dreamed that when I was doing housework, you said to me: honey, you rest, let me do it! Dear, will my dream come true?
Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs
1. Wake up your wife: Listen, would you like to go for a walk with me?
2. A daughter: My husband and I have been married for seven years, and he has always treated me the same as on the wedding day. Woman B: I heard you two quarreling last night! A woman: Yes! My husband and I quarreled the day we got married.
The husband made his wife angry again, and the wife nagged: In this world, it is you that I love and hate! The husband immediately smiled: no, I just ranked third. The wife is confused: ranked third? Who else? The husband said, there is a mirror and weighing scale.
Your wife hurt herself. If someone in this world loves your wife more than you do, you are not far from trouble.
In order to investigate its listening rate, the radio station decided to call 1000 men on Sunday night. What are you listening to now? Because everyone will ask. Listen to my wife's nagging. Of the 1000 men, 934 answered this question.
6. Wife: You always talked in your sleep last night. Do you know that?/You know what? Husband: I don't know. what did i say? Wife: You seem to be scolding me. Husband: Maybe, because I am too busy during the day to take time to scold you.
7. An American friend and his Chinese wife Qin Se get along well and often joke about it. One day, the husband complained to the guests that mosquitoes at home only bit him, which shows that even mosquitoes bully foreigners in China. His wife chimed in: Because mosquitoes in China like to eat western food.
8. Wife: Help me see if I broke my palm. Dave: Don't look, you must have it! Wife: What do you mean? Husband: Otherwise, how could my life be ruined by you?
9. A couple went to the photo studio to take wedding photos. The woman wanted to take a theme wedding photo and asked about the price. The staff said how much is this and how much is that. The man listened impatiently: Why is it so expensive? Staff: The main reason is that clothes are expensive. Then give us an Adam and Eve series.
10. Husband: Did you receive the letter I wrote to you from Shanghai the other day? Wife: I got the letter, but I dare not read it. Husband: Why? Wife: because you still write on the back of the envelope that there are photos inside, don't open it!
1 1. Handsome guy is unhappy all day after marrying an ugly wife! Ugly wife: Honey, why are you so cold to me these days? ! Handsome boy: It's because your father is a director! Ugly wife: But he died a month ago. Handsome guy: That's why I'm depressed!
Connotation dialogue between husband and wife
Connotative dialogue between husband and wife 1, husband is in a bad mood and has been drinking. . .
The wife asked, What are you doing?
Husband said: don't talk to me, I want to be quiet!
The wife turned around with her mouth wide open and asked, TMD, who is quiet?
Really, sometimes it's hard to be quiet in life. . .
Husband took his wife for a ride, remembering that he had been slapped in the face, and he felt uncomfortable and parked his car on the side of the road.
The wife asked, What are you doing?
The husband replied impatiently: I want to stop. What's the matter?
Wife: Damn, I just want to be quiet and Tingting! Another big mouth.
2. Me: Wife, I bought you a bottle of perfume.
Daughter-in-law: How much?
Me: You can sleep with me.
Wife: 400 yuan.
If I know anything,
When my husband started chasing me, I thought he was handsome but had poor aesthetics. After years of training, his aesthetics are getting better and better, and now he finally begins to dislike me for not being beautiful enough!
Yesterday I asked my husband if he liked me to wear jeans or stockings.
Husband said: I like my daughter-in-law to wear pants and other women to wear stockings.
Couple communication skills: don't turn jealousy into jealousy.
Couple communication skills: don't turn "jealousy" into jealousy. Jealousy is a common psychological feeling. Even if you love each other deeply, one of them will be greatly jealous and say something sour because of an incident. Jealousy becomes jealousy if it is unreasonable, which is harmful and useless to feelings.
One sentence makes people laugh.
He Gang is handsome, eloquent and has a good personality, and is welcomed by many female colleagues in the unit. Every day after work, some female colleagues with cars always let He Gang go with them. He Gang's wife Xiao Wu is very uncomfortable. One day, He Gang went home in the car of his female colleague. When Xiao Wu saw on the balcony that it was the car of Xiao Liu, the youngest and most beautiful beauty in He Gang's unit, he couldn't help feeling jealous.
As soon as He Gang entered the door, Xiao Wu said angrily, Whose car did you drive back?
He Gang is also very calm, careless answer: colleagues in the unit, how do you see it?
Xiao Wu's tone is a little unhappy: what I saw on the balcony a long time ago was still a red car. Is it a woman's car?
He Gang realized that his wife was jealous. He smiled and said, what's wrong with women? What happened to that man?
Xiao Wu is even more angry: you still have some truth. What happened to that woman and that man? Nobody's taking you away!
He Gang saw that the joke couldn't go on, so he said in a serious tone, You'll be dreaming. I can tell you that I brought you good news today.
Xiao Wu said, what good news can you bring back? I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring me a big girl.
He Gang said calmly, You are right.
Hearing this, Xiao Wu was furious. What, you really want to bring me a big girl! I'm not done with you.
He Gang quickly stopped Xiao Wu and said, Don't be angry, I'm kidding you. Seriously, you have long wanted to buy a car. What do you think of Xiao Liu's car? I asked Xiao Liu. This car has good performance, low price and fuel economy. I also decided to buy one for you.
Xiao Wu immediately turned his anger into joy and said, What you said is true?
He Gang scolded lightly: It seems that when I told you, it seemed to be false.
Xiao Wu is also happy: that's true, I dare you. It's good to buy a car, so you don't have to drive your female colleague He Gang's car to have fun.
Xiao Wu regards her husband's colleagues as imaginary enemies and warns her husband not to make mistakes with vinegar words. After this jealous confrontation, Xiao Wu has been worried about her husband's problem of taking a female colleague's car, which was solved by her husband himself, and their feelings are more harmonious.
Jump in one word.
A couple were shopping when a young woman walked past them and her husband's eyes couldn't help following them. When the wife saw it, she took her husband for a few quick steps and touched the woman's ass with lightning speed.
The woman turned her head and was furious. The wife took the opportunity to scold her husband: You are heartless. How dare you despise other women when I stand by your side!
The young woman stepped forward and slapped the innocent husband. The wife is secretly proud: don't you dare look at beautiful women!
But since then, the husband has never gone shopping with this wife again.
This wife can be said to be too clever In order not to let her husband see the beautiful woman, she made this decision and let him lose face in the street, but she didn't think how much harm it would bring to her husband. Jealousy will become unreasonable, and emotions will be erased in jealousy again and again.
guide to action
The word vinegar has a sour and sweet taste for people who love each other, because it shows the sincere and strong love of one party in love. As long as you are jealous, eat properly; Don't knock over the vinegar jar, you can turn vinegar into a wonderful condiment in love and make the relationship between the two sides more harmonious.
Smart people will also take the opportunity to add other condiments such as understanding and trust when knocking over the vinegar jar, so that the harsh sound made by the vinegar jar falling to the ground becomes soft and the vinegar taste becomes less strong. However, when both parties in marriage lose their minds, they change from jealousy to jealousy, and they become hysterical because of jealousy. Regardless of the occasion, they will knock over the jealousy, kick over the jealousy, and leave each other with no face, which will only lead to great disaster in the end.
Once the jealousy between husband and wife turns into jealousy, there will be emotional disharmony, which will lead to marriage crisis. So at this time, what should the other party do to be a smarter choice?
First of all, understand the feelings of your lover. Cherish your lover's love for you, and don't easily accuse each other of being stingy and limit your actions. But at the same time, you can't turn a blind eye to your lover's jealousy and ignore it, thinking that doing so shows that you are generous. In fact, the other party will think that you have a guilty conscience, and he (she) will seize the handle and dare not refute it. The correct attitude is to eliminate each other's jealousy with your sincere heart and find appropriate opportunities to explain to each other.
Secondly, we should grasp the scale when dealing with the opposite sex. Lovers are particularly sensitive. If you are in contact with the opposite sex, you should introduce your lover to your friends and pay attention to your words and deeds. Don't be too close to each other, and don't talk too long or get too involved to ignore your lover. Don't associate with the opposite sex too often behind your lover's back, so as not to hurt your wife or husband's self-esteem and avoid the phenomenon of treading on two boats.
Finally, don't comment on the advantages and disadvantages of other opposite sex in front of your lover. Whether you like the opposite sex you are talking about or not, always talking about the other person will give your lover an illusion: how does he or she care about others? Have you put all your thoughts on him (her)? If you have to make comments, you should pay attention to the discretion of the comments. Excessive praise or belittling will arouse the suspicion or misunderstanding of the lover.