Because it is normal for a family to have three surnames, why did the ancestors preach that a family cannot have three surnames?

For example, the population composition of most families is as follows:

Grandparents have different surnames, father takes his grandfather's surname, and mother has different surnames. It is normal for a family to have three people with different surnames.

Not to mention that after his son gets married in the future, the daughter-in-law he is looking for will have different surnames. Similarly, an ordinary rural family in it runs in the family will have about five different surnames.

So what does the rural proverb mean, a family can't tolerate people? Let me analyze it for you.

A family with three surnames may refer to the first situation. Some people may say that the meaning of three surnames in a family is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was a difficult family contradiction to deal with a long time ago.

This statement is unreasonable. In real life, there are indeed some families whose mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not harmonious. But not all families are like this, and families with good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law account for the majority.

Not to mention that when the Three Cardinal Principles and the Five Permanent Principles were handed down in ancient times, women had to observe three rules and four virtues.

In the pre-feudal era, the daughter-in-law's family status was not high, even if she complained about her mother-in-law, it would not affect family harmony. Because at that time, the status of mother-in-law was much higher than that of daughter-in-law, even if mother-in-law was not a reasonable person, daughter-in-law had to bear it.

Therefore, as the saying goes, a family is not allowed to have three surnames. Of course, it does not represent the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law in a normal family.

A family of three may refer to the second situation of rural families, or there may be such a situation.

For example, I have a cousin who is my stepfather's biological son, and my cousin's younger brother is the son of my stepmother and her ex-husband. Their family members are very complicated. Cousin's father is biological, mother is stepmother, cousin's mother is biological and father is stepfather.

The composition of such family members is what people often call stepfathers and stepmothers.

There is an old saying in the countryside that it is difficult for a stepmother to be a stepmother, and it is difficult for a stepmother to be a stepmother. It is difficult for a stepmother to be a stepmother. Be strict with children, for fear of provoking others to gossip. Do you think the stepmother is so strict with her children because they are not her own? Children may also have ideas when they hear these words. If I were my mother, she wouldn't do this to me.

It's great for children. Some children are not close to their stepmother because of their personality, and even some children with strong personality never call their stepfathers (stepmother) parents.

Such a family is made up of stepparents and stepmother. Is it true that there is no room for three surnames in a family in the countryside? I don't think so.

Families whose stepparents are not biological children will really face difficulties at first. For example, the child is not close to the stepmother and does not recognize this person who is not the biological mother. Only with the passage of time, the grace of parenting will be greater than the grace of fertility.

For example, a few years ago, there was a very popular TV series "Men Gang", in which the protagonist's daughter had two stepmother. Although the daughter misunderstood her stepmother when she was a child, as she grew older and wiser, she thanked her two stepmother.

The former stepmother taught her to speak and write, and the stepmother spent the best childhood with her. The two stepmother, not because they are not their own children, are indifferent to their children, but treat them as their own children.

Although this is a film and television work, there are many similar examples in reality. A family composed of stepmother does not mean disharmony. Everyone has feelings, and love can also affect a person. More often, the grace of parenting will be greater than the grace of fertility.

So it is obviously untenable to say that a person who can't have three surnames refers to a family like a stepmother.

Three surnames in one family may refer to the third situation in the feudal era. At that time, it was not monogamy as it is now. In the feudal era, there was polygamy, which was the most prone to conflicts.

Wives and concubines will be jealous of each other, and children of different mothers will be destroyed by their property. This kind of example, the bigger the family at that time, the more obvious it was, such as harem fighting and succession to the throne, all of which were lessons from blood.

Therefore, I think that when a family cannot tolerate three surnames in rural areas, it should refer to polygamy in the past. It is difficult for such a family to live in harmony, and the whole family will fly like a chicken and jump like a dog for their own interests, which will make them fidget.

A family that does not allow three surnames still applies today. It's monogamous now. Some people may think it is not applicable, but I don't think so. Because in the family, if one party betrays the marriage and leads to divorce, it also means that the family should be reorganized.

It is definitely not good to break up a family because of derailment, especially for children, causing some harm.

For children, if they have a choice, everyone hopes that the family they come from will always be happy and harmonious, instead of adapting to a new family member.

Conclusion: Although there is an old saying in rural areas that if you don't listen to the old people, you will suffer in front of you, but it doesn't mean that everything the old people say is right. Many times, whether the old people are willing to listen depends on the development of the present era, rather than blindly sticking to the rules.

As the saying goes in the countryside, a family can't tolerate three surnames. In the past, it refers to the disharmony of polygamous families, but now it refers to those behaviors that betray the family and lead to divorce.

In some rural areas, there is a saying that "three surnames are not allowed in one family". How to understand it? It must be considered according to the social structure, ethical customs and rural cultural reality in a specific historical period. So what were the characteristics of the countryside at that time? There are three main points: first, the male-dominated society is dominant and the female surname is in a subordinate position. Second, the clan is powerful and exclusive. Third, social productive forces are backward, and social property is dominated by family ownership, and intergenerational inheritance and distribution.

"Three surnames in a family are not allowed", and three surnames refer to pure men. It's father and son with three different surnames. Why not include women? Because at that time, when a woman married her husband's family, she lost her name and became a family. And the husband's surname comes first. Life is the husband's family, and death is the ghost of his family, so this does not include women. What about men? For example, an adopted son, a child (stepfather) brought by remarriage, and a child with his father's surname are naturally family members. When the man goes to the woman's house, he must also follow the woman's surname at that time, otherwise the family will not admit it. If it is an adopted child, a child brought by remarriage, and a man who has settled in the woman's house do not take the surname. It will be forbidden by the main family, and the family will interfere and prevent inheritance.

Now, these backward ancient customs have long been out of tune with society.

A family is not allowed to have three surnames.

The average family has only two surnames, namely, the father's surname and the mother's surname. But some families are made up of members with multiple surnames, namely, father's surname, mother's surname and married daughter-in-law's surname.

If the daughter-in-law is barren, the adopted child will have another anonymous surname.

The parents have two surnames, and the only daughter recruits a son-in-law.

A family is not allowed to have three surnames, and I don't know if they can't get along.

As a part of China's traditional culture, proverbs come from the people and are a summary of people's life experience. They are colloquial and deeply loved by people, such as "three surnames are not allowed in one family".

Literally, this sentence means that if three people with different surnames live in the same family, there may be constant wars. So, which "three surnames" does this sentence refer to? Why can't the "three surnames" coexist peacefully under the same roof? Is the experience of the ancients useful? Please see the understanding of Shallow Sun!

In life, most families are made up of husbands, wives and children. Whether the child takes the father's surname or the mother's surname, there are only two surnames in the family.

If a family has three surnames, there may be two situations:

1. remarried family: it is a family composed of children of husband, wife and ex-husband. In such a family, the three people who were originally the closest relatives, because of their different surnames, have hidden some selfishness in treating parents, houses, children and other issues. If there is a dispute because of their own selfishness, it will easily lead to the division of the relationship between husband and wife, and the days will be wasted.

2. Born in a family: a family with a son, a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. As the old saying goes, "Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain". If there are two female tigers at home at the same time, can there be no contradiction? There is a classic folk question that best illustrates the incompatibility of this relationship. "Your mother and I fell into the water at the same time. Who will you save? " It can be seen that this family relationship is undercurrent. If the son's double quotient is not high and will not be skillfully resolved, then trivial things can be turned upside down.

Tell a true story around you. I have a classmate who took his son after divorce and had a new relationship. Her boyfriend is very kind to her, but he doesn't like her son.

This man not only often finds reasons to encourage my classmates to punish children, but also is stingy with money and unwilling to pay anything. Although the relationship between the two is not bad at present, my classmate is very entangled, because judging from the attitude of the other party, she is afraid that her son will be unhappy in the future.

In fact, the appearance of this situation does not mean that this man is an evil person, and his various behaviors are understandable.

Because in life, few men are willing to raise other people's children. Of course, this is not a question of kindness or love, it is a question that touches the depths of the soul.

In the man's subconscious, he will think that this child is not his own, but is raising a son for others. Under the guidance of this kind of thinking, he will worry about himself when he is old.

He is afraid that he has given material and emotional. Once the marriage lights up, if the woman pats her ass and leaves, and the unrelated son who has worked so hard to raise disown herself, wouldn't it be empty? After all, such cases are reported in the media from time to time.

Therefore, "a family is not allowed to have three surnames", and it is reasonable for the "three surnames" in remarried families to get along happily and harmoniously!

Let's talk about the "three surnames" in "Descendants" first. As the saying goes, "every family has its own classics", and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult of these classics. For example, the TV series "Grandma is coming" and "Spicy Grandma" and so on. From these names, we can see how afraid people are of their mother-in-law.

I remember that before giving birth to children, it was often difficult to understand those mothers-in-law. After they have children, as prospective mothers-in-law, with empathy, they can probably understand why their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't live in peace.

From the biological point of view, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are all women, which means that they have many similarities in personality, such as sensitivity, picky and caring. These characteristics make it easy for two women to quarrel, but it is rare to see father-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel.

For example, my niece was always taken care of by my mother when she was a child. She often comments on my brother's family. The center of the topic is basically around "your sister-in-law can't take care of children" and "your sister-in-law can't take care of people", but she never said these words about my brother.

One Spring Festival, the whole family caught a cold and my niece had a fever for several days. Everyone is happy for the New Year, but my sister-in-law has to hang infusion bottles with her children every day. You can imagine how bad her mood should be!

In those days, my sister-in-law may have been a little hard on my mother because she was in a hurry.

My mother is distressed by her child's illness and blames her child for not taking good care of her child. At this time, her sister-in-law's attitude made her very angry, and she felt that she was working as a free nanny at her daughter-in-law's house. In the end, the daughter-in-law not only did not appreciate it, but gave herself a cold shoulder. After many years, my mother still can't get over it. From time to time, she said that my sister-in-law was angry with her and wouldn't let her have a good year.

To be fair, my sister-in-law is easygoing and conscientious. My mother is very kind to everyone except my sister-in-law. In my mother's mind, my sister-in-law has done a good job, which is what she should do; Sister-in-law should always remember her own efforts.

My mother, many mothers have this mentality. After all, her son is the heart of every mother, and she has always been the most important "woman" in her son's mind. Suddenly one day, a woman who is not related by blood came and separated her son's love for her, even his son's balance tilted to her. At this time, the mother's heart must be mixed, and it is uncomfortable to see her daughter-in-law.

This psychological imbalance can easily lead to "power struggle", which may also be the reason why many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law from families are not harmonious.

At this time, my son was caught between two women, which was very embarrassing. If he doesn't handle it properly, it will intensify contradictions and lead to war at home's escalation again. Therefore, the three surnames in "Descendants" are, to put it bluntly, the contest of the three surnames of son, mother and wife, which is also a common problem in life.

People often say that "short stories tell the truth" and "a family can't tolerate three surnames". The ancients revealed a profound truth in simple and straightforward language.

First, cherish marriage. The Warring States Policy says:

The same is true of marriage. If you live with the idea of "fate", even if you don't get along well at first, as long as two people's hearts are together, they will actively find ways to meet problems, instead of trying to retreat everywhere.

Especially for remarried families, it is more necessary to treat each other's children as their own, so as to truly accept each other from the deep heart and accept each other's children. Only in this way can the marriage last.

The second is the way for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along. As the old saying goes, "Everything goes well at home". If you want everything to go smoothly, you need a harmonious family to support you.

Although the son is born by himself, the daughter-in-law comes from another family and has her own eating habits and life concepts. Perhaps at the beginning, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law respected each other and understood each other, but over time, it is inevitable that all kinds of small frictions will occur.

When you have children, because of the inconsistency of educational concepts, it will become the trigger point of contradictions. As sons, one is his mother and the other is his wife. He was caught in the middle and said nothing to anyone. So, how can I live like this? Instead of quarrelling at home, it is better to divide it up. After all, distance produces beauty, which will make the relationship between them more harmonious and the family relationship more harmonious.

The saying that "a family cannot have three surnames" is still circulating today. Seemingly simple words are an interpretation of human nature and an insight into things. No matter how the times change, it still applies When we read it carefully, we will have a deeper understanding of marriage!

"Three surnames are not allowed in one family", you're welcome.

Frankly speaking, this is nonsense!

His grandmother, his mother, his

Daughter-in-law (wife) can have different surnames.

Family members.

Excuse me: can he tolerate this bastard?

Grandma, I still can't help myself.

Mom still can't stand his wife? !

If she fucked Ouyang, she would be alone.

With two surnames, he can put her

How's it going? !

The so-called "three surnames are not allowed in one family" is purely the dross of feudal society, which is incompatible with modern civilization and should be completely abandoned.

Feudal society, in the final analysis, is a patriarchal society; The symbol of the patriarchal society here is "surname", that is, "head of household", "family" and "ancestral hall"-everyone on the real estate license!

This phenomenon not only exists in China, but also in the west after entering the capitalist society-the surname of westerners is also the family surname, that is, the surname-a woman must take her husband's surname when she marries!

The same is true of China feudal society; After a woman gets married, she can keep her maiden name, but her maiden name must be relegated to the second place-her maiden name is Li and her husband's family name is Wang, so this woman becomes "Wang Li";

Three surnames are not allowed in one family. Wang He and Li, are these two surnames? So, who is the third surname? Daughter-in-law? It's easy to be a daughter-in-law, but there are many daughters-in-law. There are not only three surnames, but even four surnames and five surnames!

Therefore, the statement that a family is not allowed to have three surnames seems to be just an excuse-sons are not allowed to marry daughters-in-law; You can't reorganize your family after losing your spouse!

Of course, if he meets an elite, he may think that people with three surnames refer to concubines (wing rooms, wing rooms) or stepmother. However, what if this little wife happens to be the sister of the "main room"? Aren't these two surnames?

The purity of bloodline involves the inheritance of property-emphasizing that "one family cannot have three surnames" is the experience of maintaining the remnants of this feudal society rather than "dealing with the world"-

The revised Marriage Law and Inheritance Law both protect the legitimate rights and interests of people with three surnames, that is, remarriage and children born out of wedlock-no matter what your surnames are. "Three surnames" or "Four surnames"!

Father and stepmother got married and had two children. The last two children were killed by S, and one child was sentenced to life imprisonment. This story is the best explanation of "there is no room for three surnames in a family", not to mention that a family of five in the story has four surnames.

Qiu Qunhou's wife died young due to illness, and he drives a sports car all the year round. In order to take care of his son Xiaoqiu and make the family look like a family, Qiu Qunhou chose to remarry. Xiaoqiu, 15 years old, did not oppose his father's decision.

Dong Yanping is a woman from bad karma. Her first husband died of illness, leaving her daughter Tang Bingxue. The second husband db divorced because she didn't do anything right, and her son Liu Aoyu followed her.

By chance, Dong Yanping got to know Qiu Qunhou, and the two became attached to each other. Qiu Qunhou is willing to help Dong Yanping raise his son and daughter, and Dong Yanping is willing to take care of Qiu Qunhou and his son Xiaoqiu's diet and daily life, so a family of five and four surnames is formed.

Before Qiu Qunhou and Dong Yanping combined, Xiaoqiu was very popular, but when Dong Yanping and her mother moved into their home, what happened did not fully meet Xiaoqiu's expectations.

The first thing Dong Yanping did when he entered the door was to take off the portrait of Xiaoqiu's mother. Xiaoqiu was very opposed, so Dong Yanping took it off privately, and Xiaoqiu insisted on hanging it. In the end, the game between stepmother and stepson ended in the victory of stepmother, and the portrait of Xiaoqiu's mother was put away.

This matter is like a thorn in Xiao Qiu's heart, which is getting deeper and deeper.

Dong Yanping's two children are at school, and Qiu Qunhou is responsible for their daily expenses.

Xiaoqiu once took two friends home for dinner on her birthday, and was caught by her stepmother Dong Yanping, who snatched the food from the pot and refrigerator. Xiaoqiu has added new resentment to her stepmother.

For her own children, stepmother Dong Yanping and Xiaoqiu are so different. Xiaoqiu can't stay in the house built by her biological parents. He chose to quit school and go out to work.

Stepmother Dong Yanping is busy taking care of her children. Father Qiu Qunhou was busy making money from sports cars and earning living expenses for his stepmother. He also chose acquiescence and laissez-faire for Xiaoqiu's dropping out of school.

After leaving home, Xiaoqiu, who dropped out of school, lived a hungry life. Like an abandoned child, he can only live in seeking wealth for himself. In the long run, the seeds of hatred in Xiao Qiu's heart took root and sprouted in his heart.

After learning that Xiaoqiu left home, my uncle decided to let him help in his shop, and Xiaoqiu finally had a place to stay.

Working in my uncle's shop during the day and playing the floor in the shop at night, I always forget some troubles when I am busy.

It's cold, Xiaoqiu decided to go home and get some thick clothes, and meet his father by the way. It was this trip that caused an irreparable tragedy.

Xiaoqiu came home, and Tang Bingxue was watching TV in the house. He asked, "Is my father at home?"

"I don't know." Tang Bing Xueda

"Get out, this is not your home." Tang Bingxue said dismissively.

Xiaoqiu continued: "Can you talk well?"

Then, Tang Bingxue hit Xiaoqiu with the remote control, Xiaoqiu blocked it with his hand, but it also completely angered Xiaoqiu.

Touched D with him and stabbed Tang Bingxue. Tang Bingxue's autopsy report shows that he was stabbed more than 20 times.

Tang Bingxue has no breath, Xiaoqiu is afraid and ready to destroy the crime scene.

At this time, Liu Aoyu came back from school. He saw his sister lying on the ground and began to abuse Xiaoqiu. Xiaoqiu is afraid of things being exposed. He dragged Liu Aoyu into the room and stabbed Liu Aoyu with a knife.

Seeing the brother and sister who fell to the ground, Xiaoqiu knew that he had made a big mistake and would definitely not live, so he simply stayed at the same time. Since the house built by his mother can't live by himself, don't let others live. Xiaoqiu decided to set fire to the house

After all this, he ran to his mother's grave, told her about his crimes and said goodbye to her.

Why does Xiaoqiu have a knife?

He said that he worked in his uncle's shop to defend himself.

Xiaoqiu killed Tang Bingxue and Liu Aoyu. His explanation is that he was angered by Tang Bingxue and his resentment was aroused. However, it is not known whether Xiaoqiu has been planning for a long time or acting on impulse.

Xiaoqiu told her uncle what happened, and my uncle advised him to turn himself in. Xiaoqiu was detained by the detention center.

In court, Dong Yanping shouted angrily to Xiaoqiu: "I did everything, I should do it, I committed a terrible crime." You will get what you deserve, and you will die of natural causes. "

Xiaoqiu's grandfather submitted a petition to the judge asking for a lighter punishment. However, Xiaoqiu killed Tang Bingxue and his sister by extremely cruel means. Although Xiaoqiu was under 18 years old, the judge finally decided not to be lenient and Xiaoqiu was sentenced to life imprisonment.

Qiu Qunhou was the most disappointing person in the whole trial. As a father, he didn't defend Xiaoqiu. Every time he proved to the judge that Dong Yanping didn't abuse Xiaoqiu.

He has no remorse for Xiaoqiu's big mistake, but hopes to kill Xiaoqiu.

Qiu Qunhou didn't realize his father's dereliction of duty and the lack of fatherly love, which was also an important reason why Xiaoqiu embarked on this road of no return.

Qiu Qunhou, Xiao Qiu, Dong Yanping, Tang Bingxue and Liu Aoyu, this reorganized family, a family of four surnames and five.

At first, Xiaoqiu was willing to accommodate Dong Yanping, but Dong Yanping could not accommodate him.

Before Dong Yanping came, Xiaoqiu was left unattended, but at least she could live in her own home.

After Dong Yanping came, Xiaoqiu was not only neglected, but also occupied his own home.

His hatred accumulated deeper and deeper, and no one comforted him, which eventually led to tragedy.

The reasons are the cowardice and irresponsibility of his father Qiu Qunhou and the selfishness and malice of his stepmother Dong Yanping.

If you are not ready to accept each other's children, if your children can't integrate into the new family, if you can't inject love into the new family, then don't choose to remarry.

Single-parent families with children, although the conditions are bitter, are not necessarily bitter; Most reorganized families will have endless trivial matters of life, and it is difficult for anyone to meet happiness in the reorganized family.

Therefore, @ Jingjing Jingjing believes that "one family can't tolerate three surnames" is applicable not only now, but also in the future.

Who do you think is responsible for this tragedy?