1. There are so many couples outside, and I’m afraid that as soon as I show up, they will regret that they already have boyfriends.

2. I heard that eating too much seafood can cause gout. Later, when I thought about it carefully, it was impossible for me to have gout due to my financial strength!

3. It’s cold. Those who have girlfriends hug their girlfriends, and those who have boyfriends hug their boyfriends. But me, I’m awesome, I’m not cold!

4. Playing with people who are good at playing is called playing. Playing with people who are not good at playing is like working overtime!

5. Like other princesses, knights come to see me every day with different food. The only difference is that my knights charge delivery fees.

6. A passerby stopped the taxi and asked the driver: How long does it take to get to the airport from here? Driver: It will take a long time. Passerby: How long will it take at least? Driver: Riding takes longer.

7. Go to get the express delivery. The courier could not find it, so he turned around and asked me: Are you a small shipment?

8. I practiced reversing the car into the warehouse two days ago. I couldn’t get in by turning left or right. Finally, the coach said: “Come on, get off the car! Let’s carry it in!”

9. Every time someone asks me for directions, I point blindly, firstly because I don’t know the way at all, and secondly because I want to teach the world a lesson: Don’t just trust good-looking people.

10. Going to work is like a marriage in the old days. Even though you are not happy, you still have to stay together.

11. When men comfort men, they often say that they are miserable. When women comfort women, they often say that the other woman is worse off.

12. There was a buddy who was caught driving drunk and was discovered by the police. He wisely ran into the square dancing crowd. Because he was too drunk and couldn't keep up, the police discovered him and took him away. The two old men next to me were frightened: "Oh my god, if you can't dance well, you will be arrested!"

13. For a strong female man like you, if a boy suddenly treats you very badly, Well, there is only one reason: he respects you as a man.

14. I went to a friend's house to play, and his 3-year-old son happened to be on the bed, grabbing the pillow and riding him while shouting "drive." I teased him: "Handsome guy, where are you riding a horse?" The kid glared at me and said, "Idiot, I'm riding a pillow!"

15. The family was sitting together watching TV. My son suddenly said to me Said: "Dad, you are so discerning, you have found such a beautiful and virtuous wife!" I was feeling proud when the boy turned around and said to his mother: "Mom, you can't do it anymore. Look at what you have found." What is this? ”

16. Falling in a wrong relationship is like wetting the bed.

17. Why is Friday so close to Monday but Monday so far from Friday! This is not scientific!

18. Today, a buddy’s wife gave birth and he called me to tell me the good news. I was going to ask him: Is it a boy or a girl? As a result, he suddenly asked him: Whose is it? Now this guy insists on getting a paternity test, but his wife refuses. I think it's better to stand aside and remain silent.

19. The money in your pocket is the most ruthless and the fat on your body is the most stubborn.

20. There is no fear of choice, but it is not because of poverty; there is no indecisiveness, but it is not because of cowardice.

Twenty-one. There was once a true love in front of me, but I did not cherish it. Later, I met a more true love.

22. You can’t tie the person who is determined to leave you even with an iron chain, but I think you can try it with a gold chain. It may have unexpected effects!

23. There are three things that cannot be compared with others on the Internet: money, beauty, and sense of humor! Because as long as you compare, you will find that you are poor, ugly and stupid!

Twenty-four. My father played mahjong all night. When he came back, he hugged me and cried: "Son, son, dad can't forgive you."

Dad has lost you. You can pack your clothes later and go to your Uncle Zhou’s house to be your son-in-law! ”