What if there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have conflicts, many people tend to go to two extremes. One is to let the old people do what they like. The other is to take care of everything, and the old man is not satisfied with his words and deeds. Let's share the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

How to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1 methods and skills to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: change the unacceptable.

When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, many people tend to go to two extremes. One is to let the old people do what they like. The other is to take care of everything, and what the old man says and does is not satisfactory.

From a methodological point of view, this is definitely inappropriate. Due to the temporary combination, it is normal for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to lack communication foundation. For the in-laws who live together, the daughter-in-law can't interfere in everything, nor can she let it go.

Especially for some principled issues, such as doting on children, we should bravely adhere to principles and strive to change the concept of the elderly. After all, the times are different, and the elderly should keep pace with the times.

Don't just care about the old man's face, let it go, and in the end it will hurt the children. And it will also lead to the intensification of contradictions, so that it will be out of control in the future. However, change must also pay attention to methods, that is, the attitude should be firm and the methods should be euphemistic, and the relationship should not be frozen because of one thing. Remember: the elderly are not students, but they don't like the younger generation to teach themselves. It is very important to follow the trend.

Methods and skills to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: accept the unchangeable.

As the saying goes, there are two hardest things in the world. One is to put the money in other people's pockets into your own pockets, and the other is to put the thoughts in your own head into other people's heads. Therefore, it is not easy to change a person, especially an elderly person whose world outlook, outlook on life and values have been stubbornly formed.

To this end, for some unprincipled issues, such as the ways and means of taking care of children's lives, if it is not easy to change or can't be changed, then as the daughter-in-law of the younger generation, we must learn to adapt. In fact, as long as you pass the ideological barrier, sometimes you will suddenly find that just do what your in-laws say, and there is nothing wrong with it. No one is a saint, and in-laws must have more life experience than young people.

Believe in yourself and your in-laws. Practice has eloquently proved that only trust can live in harmony. Remember: don't think you are always right. As long as you have this idea, it is actually a wrong start. In life, adaptation is the greatest wisdom and ability.

Methods and skills to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: tolerance and adaptation

Adaptation is not an easy task, which has a lot to do with everyone's adaptability. Some people are good at adjusting their mentality and have strong adaptability to external stimuli. And some people are relatively closed, pursuing to be an independent and complete person, and it is difficult to integrate with the outside world.

The so-called Tao is different, no common goal. In this case, we can't live in a happy mood at all, so we can only adopt a tolerant strategy. Don't stop your in-laws if you don't want to do it yourself. If you are afraid that your in-laws' behavior will affect your mood, you can take a laissez-faire attitude and hide in one place to enjoy leisure.

This can't solve the contradiction, but it can reduce the possibility of emotional interaction leading to the escalation of the contradiction. That is what people say, "hide" if you can't afford it! Remember: to learn to grasp the main contradiction, family harmony is the most fundamental in life. Compared with this, nothing else is important. Never create conflicts for the sake of happiness.

Methods and skills to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: give up if you can't bear it.

For those who can't change, can't adapt and can't tolerate, you should pay attention. Since you can't win by playing, don't insist on playing blindly. You must carry out Chairman Mao's second word-"Go", that is, give up.

Although all contradictions can be transformed, the cost is too high to be worth it. Since both sides of the contradiction always exist and cannot be eliminated, we should simply live separately and eradicate the battlefield that caused the contradiction. Paying for a nanny, although it costs a little money, is better to take care of your family, but choosing the lesser of two evils can save your family.

Many problems of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not actually problems of personality and values, but that the old man suddenly came to a strange place from the countryside or other cities and left the original life foundation, which made him emotionally unable to adapt.

After meeting the needs of survival and security, people have to live by the spirit after all. The sense of superiority in life can't dispel the spiritual loss of the old man. For the elderly, it is the most important thing not to care much about food and clothing, to be healthy and to be happy.

If we can't solve the emotional problems of the elderly, it will lead to depression, distraction, and even venting emotions for no reason, causing contradictions. In this case, if you really can't get along, the last and best way is to give up.

What if there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

First, no desire.

The greater the expectation for her mother-in-law, the greater the disappointment. It's unrealistic to expect her mother-in-law to call to be caring and attentive or to prepare something for her children, because her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law haven't been together for a long time and don't have much feelings, let alone the feelings before the children meet.

Expecting her mother-in-law to take care of herself or her children is asking for trouble. Her mother-in-law will never be a mother. During confinement, the daughter-in-law can neither work nor offer affection, but wants her to serve. Do you think she will be happy? Although the child is her grandson or granddaughter, the person who brought her up is not called her grandmother. Why should she care at her age?

Second, don't ask for anything in return.

I often hear my daughter-in-law complain about how good she is to her mother-in-law, but her mother-in-law is still not good to herself, as if the stone is not hot. In fact, this is where everyone is embarrassed by the principle of equal exchange. When a daughter-in-law buys something or gives money to her mother-in-law, most of her mother-in-law will think that it is allowed by her son, who is good to herself, not her daughter-in-law.

More mother-in-law thinks it is natural. Therefore, it is ok for a daughter-in-law to be attentive, but don't expect anything in return.

Third, keep your distance.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law try to avoid living together Daughter-in-law should respect her mother-in-law, treat her with courtesy, do her duty, and shout when it is time to call her mother. I have always felt that it is best to have a certain distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law if conditions permit. This distance is not psychological, but geographical.

If the in-laws can take care of themselves, living separately can sometimes avoid many contradictions and problems. Don't think I'm running away. In fact, not everything needs collision to be solved. Sometimes distance can rule out many possible problems.

We must admit that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not mother and daughter. There is no blood relationship, and there is also a lack of mutual tolerance and mutual understanding after conflicts. With the opposition of status in nature, many small things and words that are nothing to ordinary people often intensify into irreparable contradictions.

Fourth, don't compare.

It is natural for a mother-in-law to treat her daughter and son better than her daughter-in-law. There is no need to be jealous. Mother-in-law is kind to other sisters-in-law, and daughter-in-law can understand, because everyone has people who look pleasing to the eye for no reason, which is normal. Mother-in-law is a little nicer to her husband's brother, which is easier to understand. That's your husband's problem, not yours.

Don't compare your mother-in-law with your mother. Your daughter is your mother's blood. Can you have no feelings? The mother-in-law is the mother of her husband. Because of her husband, we just met for a long time. Even the mother of the daughter-in-law is a "stepmother". The rate of meeting a good stepmother is too low. Don't count on it

Fifth, combine rigidity with softness.

When the mother-in-law makes unreasonable demands, the daughter-in-law can ignore them; When the mother-in-law asks about the small family, the daughter-in-law should perfunctory: "Mom, we will definitely handle this matter, don't worry!" . If the mother-in-law starts swearing, the daughter-in-law should immediately point out: "Mom, what can't be said well, do you want to hurt people by exporting?" If the mother-in-law starts beating people, the daughter-in-law should leave the scene immediately and let her husband come forward to solve it.

What if there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

First, my mother-in-law always thinks that I am not good enough.

Mother-in-law is not mother. She is always critical of her daughter-in-law, and many things are not as tolerant as her own children. But how can she stand her mother-in-law pointing at the arrogant post-80 s girls? Contradictions are on the verge!

Second, my mother-in-law looks down on my family.

This contradiction often occurs when girls marry well. Nowadays, with the development of society, many parents want their daughters to marry with high wealth. Of course, there are good aspects, but often bad aspects will follow. . . Contradictions unfold under such circumstances.

Third, my mother-in-law likes to interfere in our lives.

Many post-80s boys grew up under the meticulous care of their mothers. Even if they get married, your mother-in-law will still treat your husband as a child, which often makes you laugh and cry. They will enter your room at will and change your room decoration at will.

Let your life fall into chaos, but your mother-in-law is still wearing a good hat. In this case, how can contradictions not happen?

Fourth, my mother-in-law always faces her husband, and I have to do everything at home.

This should be the unanimous aspiration of many post-80s girls. My husband is my only daughter, and I am my daughter! In the concept of the older generation, it is normal for women to be housewives and men to be housewives, so the requirements for daughter-in-law are higher. However, few post-80s girls do housework before getting married ..... so conflicts are inevitable.

Fifth, the values are completely different.

If you meet a fashionable mother-in-law who knows life, you are really lucky! But what if you meet a conservative and thrifty mother-in-law Will it give you a headache? The post-80s girls live freely, and the quality of life is a very important life indicator. But the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law generation may not think so, so your dispute will definitely start, it is only a matter of time.

My mother-in-law thinks I shouldn't wear makeup after marriage.

The idea of the older generation is simple. A woman's life is to marry a good man. Now that you are married, why spend so much money to dress yourself up after marriage? There is nothing wrong with her mother-in-law's idea. What is wrong is that there are too many disturbances in this society now. If she becomes a yellow-faced woman after marriage, will her husband still love you as before marriage? Mother-in-law only cares about her daughter-in-law and forgets her son.

Seven, after marriage, my mother-in-law asked me to have a baby right away.

Nowadays, many post-80s girls get married when their parents are still in good health to help take care of their children. But there are also many independent post-80s girls who want to work to a certain extent when they are young before considering having children. But in the eyes of her mother-in-law, marriage means having children, so there are often contradictions.

I don't agree with my mother-in-law's parenting style.

Educating children is the task of parents, but due to the current national conditions in China, taking care of children has become the job of the older generation. You can see old people taking their children to cram schools on the streets of any city, but are parents born after 1980s really unwilling to take care of them? There is still more room for mother-in-law and father-in-law to replace non-intervention.

My mother-in-law asked my husband and I to repay her kindness.

The story of Peacock Girl in the city and Phoenix Man in the countryside is staged in every corner of the city every day. True love is invincible, and many such combinations eventually become husband and wife. But after marriage? How can the pride of Peacock Girl understand her mother-in-law's cultivation of Phoenix Man? Mother-in-law kept asking, which made the peacock girl after 80 exhausted physically and mentally.