A rich woman leads a dog for a walk, but there are beggars in Lu Yu. The rich woman proudly said to the beggar, "You call my dog father, and I will give you a hundred dollars!" " The beggar said, "What if I scream ten times?" The rich woman replied happily, "then I will give you 1000 yuan!" " ! ""The beggar shouted at the dog ten times at once, which attracted the audience like a cloud. In full view, the rich woman had to pay the beggar. After receiving the money, the beggar repeatedly shouted: Thank you, Mom! Thank you, mom!
A beautiful woman dressed sexy left her camera in the back seat when she got off the taxi.
When the driver saw this, he quickly put his head out of the window and shouted at the beautiful woman: "Little sister, your camera!" " "
The beauty blushed and turned to scold: "* * * is still like a duck!" " "
Hearing this, the driver drove away angrily.
At this time, the beauty suddenly thought that the camera was still in the car, so she chased the car and shouted, "Master, my camera! My camera! "
An American, a Japanese and a China are walking in the desert. When they were walking, they saw an Aladdin magic lamp, wiped it and came out alone. The man said,' I am the lamp god, and I can grant each of you three wishes! The Americans were the first to say,' My first wish is to ask for a lot of money. The genie said,' This is very simple and will satisfy you! Let's start with the second wish. Americans say, I want a lot of money! After the genie fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home." The genie said, "No problem." So this American returned to America with a lot of money. The genie asked the Japanese again. The Japanese said,' I want beautiful women! The genie of the lamp gave him a beautiful woman. The Japanese said, I want beautiful women! The genie of the lamp also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman .. The Japanese finally said,' Send me back to Japan. After sending the Japanese back to China, the genie asked China what they wanted. China said,' Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first.' The genie gave it to him and asked him what his second wish was. China said, two more bottles of Erguotou! The genie asked him what his third wish was. China people say that I miss Japanese and Americans very much. Please get them all back! ! ! !
1: I saw a girl's back look familiar, like a classmate, so I ran over and patted her. When the girl turned around, I found that I mistook one for another. I quickly apologized and said, "I mistook you for someone else. Looking at your child with special vision, he smiled and said to me, "hooligans look familiar to everyone." "
2. I went shopping today and found a clothing store on the street. The glass door said: No matter whether you buy it or not, you are welcome when you enter the door! I thought to myself, this store is not so good either. Why is it so awesome? So I decided to go in and have a look. As soon as I entered the gate, a beautiful waiter bent his knees and said with a smile, "Welcome, this lady is very polite."
3: I haven't seen you for a long time and haven't given you anything, so I changed the change in my pocket into a steel jump and gave it to you. If you meet someone who refuses to accept it, you can give him a good beating with a steel jump and let him know that we rich people are powerful. Remember to get it when you're finished. You still have to live.
When boarding the plane, the stewardess greeted the guests at the gate of the plane, and a handsome guy came over. Flight attendant: Welcome aboard. Which seat are you sitting in? Handsome guy: I'm Scorpio, and you? The stewardess looked shy: Really? What a coincidence! I am also a Scorpio.
5: When I was a child, I often fought with my brother, but later I made up. One day, a rag collector in the village took out five dollars to let us fight with malicious intent, saying that whoever won would take it. My brother rolled up his sleeves and gave me a push. I quickly lay on the ground. My brother turned to pick up the money and pulled me up: "Let's buy popsicles!" " "
6. On that day, Tomb-Sweeping Day sent a short message to a leader: "I wish the boss a happy holiday, and the mood every day should be as happy as today!" After a while, the leader texted me back and said, "I'm going to the grave." After a while, the leader sent another one: "Go directly to the finance department to get paid after the holiday!"
7: "How many points did you get in this arithmetic exam?" "Three points." The words sound just fell and "pa! Bang! Hey! " Xiaoming got his father's three soles on his ass. "What's your score in the next exam?" "I don't want it next time."
8. Visiting the clothing area, my husband said, "You are born a beauty embryo, and wearing cheap clothes looks good." Visiting the cosmetics cabinet, my husband said, "Your skin is so good that you are more beautiful without makeup." After visiting the library area, my husband picked up a cookbook and said, "The food you cooked is terrible. You need this most. "
9. A boy is silent and has a daughter after marriage. When my daughter was ten years old, she finally caught her curiosity and asked her mother, "Mom, who is this person who eats with us every day?"
10: The Chinese teacher asked the students to make sentences with the word "extra". A boy racked his brains, so he had to ask his father. Dad pondered for a while and said, "If you write on square paper, you won't write redundant words."
1 1: undergraduates said to put the meat in the pot and add something to cook it; Graduate students say this is not enough, how much meat, how much other spices, how to cook, how long to cook; After a month, the doctor published a book called How to Cook Braised Pork. Open the catalog, "Chapter 1, How to Raise Pigs". The pig smiled
12: An old man selling scissors bargained with an old lady. The scissors seller said, "Sister-in-law, I sold these scissors to you at cost. If I earn you some money, I will be your son. " The old lady has a beautiful daughter-in-law. Hearing the scissors seller say this, she burst into laughter: "What a good thing!" "