This is the resonance of mothers.
It's true. Mothers have to worry about everything from eating and washing to education and growth. People who have never been mothers naturally cannot deeply understand the sadness of parenting, which may also contain many grievances of their own.
However, the hard work of stay-at-home mothers is usually hidden. If they are negligent in the process of taking care of their children, such as accidentally hitting the child, it will lead to the suspicion that their husbands "abuse" the child.
The mother who takes care of her career and family is very busy at work and at home. She wants her husband to help share some housework, but she gets a sentence from her husband, "Do you regret having children?" Women with children are gradually living in a state of losing self and trust.
This is the children's ecology reflected in the Japanese drama "Home on Sakamoto Road". This is not so much a suspense drama as a psychological drama.
The drama is a realistic theme focusing on family parenting, which brings together the parenting worries of different mothers in marriage life. Although the situation of each family is different, there are many similarities in parenting.
I have to say that Japanese dramas are very good at choosing a tricky angle in family dramas. This drama is aimed at the perspective of mothers with difficulties in raising children. It is very realistic and has strong reference and reflection significance.
This play is adapted from the novel of the same name "Home on Sakamoto Road". The score on Douban is 9. 1, which is really a high score. The complete six episodes have ended.
What uncovered this unique group image in the play was a parent-child murder case. The victim of the case was an eight-month-old baby, and the perpetrator was her biological mother, Mizuho Ando. The suspect, Mizuho Ando, personally threw his crying daughter Kobayashi into a bathtub filled with hot water, causing her daughter to die directly.
When Mizuho Ando was arrested, the case began to enter the trial stage, and full-time mother Lisa participated in the trial process as an alternate juror.
By visiting people around her, it is generally believed that Mizuho Ando is a person with strong vanity, likes high-end brand names and is somewhat arrogant, and that she brutally killed her daughter because of her slow development and failed to meet her expectations.
The attitude of several other people's jurors is similar to that of the people around them. All reveal the condemnation of Mizuho Ando, and some even point out that she is not suitable for being a mother at all. Only jury member Risha can feel the unknown despair of Mizuho Ando. In the ten trials, Risa especially understood the distress of Ando Mizuho, and she could overlap the shadow of parenting with Ando Mizuho every time.
As a result of the disclosure of the case, Mizuho Ando resigned from her high-paying position when she had her daughter Kobayashi and became a full-time mother widely respected by Japanese social values. However, her husband Ando Sushi's salary is lower than his own, so Mizuho Ando asked her husband to change to a job with higher income to live. After that, conflicts and frictions continued.
The two married in the form of naked marriage. Mizuho Ando's biological mother denied her in various ways, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was not very harmonious. She was originally troubled by the problem of raising children and was repeatedly accused by her mother-in-law. Ando Mizuho, who takes care of her children at home, is under great mental pressure. As soon as the child cries, her husband gets upset and asks her to calm the child down.
And Mizuho Ando asked her husband when she encountered problems in the process of parenting, and her husband said that she looked like a child abuser. For any mother, hearing that her husband not only denies her hard work in raising children, but also belittles her personality will inevitably be severely hit. This 10,000-point injury is the incentive to promote the irrational behavior of Mizuho Ando.
Members of the jury have different identities and backgrounds, including very old grandparents, senior company leaders, ordinary white-collar workers, married and unmarried, full-time wife representatives and so on.
The female executive of the company, He Liu Shi, is one of the jurors. She is a representative of a childless family. He Fang Liu suffers from wanting children but can't conceive them. In her opinion, children are the most lovely and harmless, and she has a strong desire for children. In her opinion, for whatever reason, Mizuho Ando is not worthy of sympathy and forgiveness. The law better give her a heavy sentence.
On the beach, there is a spoiled daughter, Wen Xiang. Risha, who has a gentle temper, feels her daughter Wen Xiang's headache, which is hard to coax. She can personally feel Miho Ando's suffocation, which is a terrible consequence that will only erupt after being psychologically cornered.
I'm not a mother. I don't know how annoying Xiong Haizi is to do this.
Wen Xianghui repeatedly discarded the food carefully prepared by his mother and grandmother as toys, ignoring his mother's repeated education. Her mother, who has always been good-natured, couldn't help yelling at her, but when her husband just got home heard the crying, the question of whether the child was abused was raised. Not only that, her husband Ichiro always talks about "don't force yourself", in other words, he thinks nothing can be done in the sand.
This kind of husband can't understand, her mother-in-law can't feel it, and even her own mother has to make irresponsible remarks about her loneliness. When she wanted to ask for help, she found that everyone outside seemed to be right, and it seemed that only she did the worst. In the end, even the hope of asking for help was extinguished, leaving only the grievances and grievances that had nowhere to vent.
This is the similarity between Risha and Mizuho Ando, which is also the reason why only her view of the jury site is different from others.
Before Sha became a mother in school, she was first an independent individual. But in front of her husband, she suffers from "belittling, hurting and controlling each other", perhaps because she wants to express her love in this way, or maybe she is just treated as a nanny.
Husbands don't cook, do housework and take no children on weekdays. People in the sand are busy around their husbands and children. I want to educate my children in my own way, but I am suspected out of thin air. This suffocating breath is unbearable for anyone.
Bad emotions accumulate day and night until they collapse. This is the voice of a stay-at-home mother. As full-time housewives with children at home, their life is no easier than working outside.
There is also a representative of working mothers, Matsushita Asako. She is a judge who works in the court and works very hard. She is an active female representative in her career, and occasionally she has to endure the criticism of her boss and the hard work of promotion. Their tasks as mothers have not been alleviated at all, and they have to complete the parenting education of housewives, while their husbands still pose as a male chauvinist, take parental leave, do not do housework, and even order their own takeout. It is not enough to enjoy all this, but no one cares about women's fatigue and helplessness.
If you don't deserve to be a mother, you don't deserve to be a man Matsushita Asako once said that when she was tired, she would take care of her career and family, but if she was her husband, she said that she could not do this, and she hoped that her wife could take care of her family at home.
This is related to Japan's relatively traditional social culture. The traditional family life mode in Japan is that the husband works, the wife takes care of the family, takes care of the children and does housework at home.
Those women who don't want to give up their careers after marriage, such as Panasonic Asako, undoubtedly make their shoulders heavier, because women's ideas have improved, while men's traditional ideas have not changed. Compared with work, the first role a man defines for a woman is the mother of a child. If you want to take care of both, women had better choose to take care of their families first. The parenting experience of working mothers is more difficult.
To be honest, watching this drama will make people feel that they don't want to get married and have children. Under the mode of "the man is the master and the woman is the master", women are required to do everything well, even when their husbands and mother-in-law can't see them on weekdays. Once there is a little flaw in a casual point, they will be labeled as lazy, abusive, unable to do anything well and inferior to others everywhere.
As the final speech in the play said, the tragedy of Mizuho Ando is caused by many reasons, such as belittling her husband, despising her mother-in-law, finding fault with her everywhere, and the way people around her get along. If one person can understand her pain, the problem will be solved.
Ando's Mizuho tragedy will not and should not happen. Everything happens for a reason. Her efforts in the process of parenting were not recognized, but she was greeted with all kinds of cynicism and comments, and even the road to self-help was blocked.
When the sense of self-worth is lost bit by bit in marriage and family, despair and collapse can easily break the string of reason.
It can be said that Mizuho Ando is an extreme epitome of these women, realistic and sharp.
"Men are married and women are married." Traditional marriage means getting married and having children when you are old, but after that? What about life and married life? Especially when a family has a small life, the mother often becomes the nanny of the whole family invisibly.
I have heard a saying often said by relatives: I have become your old maid. They wanted to expect their husbands to care more about themselves, just like before marriage, treating themselves as the only treasure in their hands. However, they have all changed, and sometimes they even have no position at home. Even children can bully themselves unscrupulously.
Otherwise, how can there be so many mothers with postpartum depression now? In this play, Mizuho Ando is one of the depressed mothers. Her mother doesn't like herself and her husband can't count on her. Even her own mother is talking about such trifles as wearing cheap clothes instead of high-end clothes.
Caught in the whirlpool of marriage and having children, she had nowhere to tell, and when she couldn't bear it, she used her children as a tool to vent her emotions.
Risha's husband Yoichiro said from time to time that her husband's brain was abnormal, in order to control her growing insecurity. Her daughter Wen Xiang's careless fall on the slide is simply described as abuse, while sha li's mother will belittle her as a way of love. When watching the drama, I can only say that these family members didn't use the right method and felt wronged for the sand in the sand.
In short, the hardships of being a mother are really only known to mothers. Also ask husbands, in-laws and mothers to give their mothers more spiritual care and help. They have made great efforts in parenting, just to get everyone's approval, that's all.