My father-in-law came back in the evening and said, "What's the matter? Are you getting married tonight? In our country, getting married at night is a curse. " He met a family and married in the evening.
Southerners are lucky to get married, and the wedding reception is also held in the evening. Northerners never hold wedding banquets at night, northerners visit relatives in the morning, and southerners visit relatives at will and leave whenever they have time.
I think I will write an article about the customs of the north and south, because I am from Yueqing, Wenzhou, and I belong to the south. I have been married in Anhui for more than ten years, so let me tell you something about the customs in the south that northerners can't understand.
Dear, jiaozi will do whatever festivals, such as Spring Festival, Lantern Festival, Dragon Boat Festival and Mid-Autumn Festival. There is no festival of cooking jiaozi in Yueqing. In the Spring Festival, we eat rice cakes, and in the Lantern Festival, we eat glutinous rice balls. In the first month, the dragon lantern starts from the third day of the first month to the seventeenth day of the first month. In Tomb-Sweeping Day, we eat Qingming Cake, and on the Dragon Boat Festival, we eat zongzi and watch the dragon boat. On the solstice of winter, we eat rice cakes, which means that the Mid-Autumn Festival is the same in two places.
In recent years, my parents-in-law have also come to Wenzhou, and we live together. jiaozi is indispensable for every festival, but there are no fewer zongzi in Yueqing. Although I can't do this, my sister and sister-in-law will make some for us. Jiaozi is basically made in stores, and southerners seldom buy noodles. Basically, they are breakfast noodles, rice cakes, dried noodles, lunch rice and dinner rice. My mother-in-law came to Wen to eat for a month, and her mouth was broken. Our family was full of northern dishes, such as porridge, steamed bread, noodles at noon, steamed bread, soup and water at night ... It seems that I haven't eaten at home for almost a year.
In Yueqing, every festival, except Qiaoqi Festival (Qixi, the seventh day of July, which my grandfather or uncle gave to my grandson's nephews with smart cakes), all other festivals are attended by my daughter's parents, and farewell ceremonies are held. The festival ceremony also included alimony for her parents. The festival ceremony included muffins and meat, which was later simplified into a random gift.
My husband's children have banquets when they are 369 years old or 12 years old. They keep their hair and shave their braids. You see, some children have pigtails at the back and have to shave them off on their twelfth birthday. Some people say that this braid will distort people's braids, that is, it will distort grandma's money. Grandma's family will spend a lot of money on jewelry and toy cars. What didn't leave a braid was a lock. This lock was made by my grandmother when the child was born. Twelfth birthday, need to unlock. Very lively. The cake has to have twelve floors, and the red money can only be unlocked if it is tied on a red rope (a hundred-dollar bill, which cost almost two thousand yuan to tie down this circle). Opening it is my aunt's business. My husband's eldest sister's son is twelve years old and has been locked up. I used to go there. On the train, I was shocked by the customs of Baidu and recited greetings. I know more than they do.
There is a family in my husband's village who loves to celebrate their children's birthdays. His family gave birth to three granddaughters. They entertain guests every birthday, three times a year. He doesn't entertain guests at home. Instead, we put a table directly in the restaurant for birthdays, write invitations every birthday, and give gifts to relatives and friends, which makes everyone complain, because some families don't treat their children on their first birthdays.
In Yueqing, children's birthdays are private and there are no invitations. The guests are only one year old, and grandma's family wants to buy clothes, gold, cars and beds for their children. Visitors don't need to give gifts. Many people eat and drink for free, because after the banquet, guests will take away noodles, cakes, oranges and the like prepared by their hosts. The host family should also be divided into the whole village, and every family has bread and noodles. If a family is in poor condition, and the child is one year old, and someone gives money as a gift, and the host family accepts it, some people will say that they are stingy and accept money as a gift behind their backs.
In Yueqing, there is only one day to get married. On this day, the expenses are very high. All the guests don't accept gifts, but also send wedding candy and Chinese cigarettes. Even please master of ceremonies, engage in activities, if you can't buy the legendary lobster at the banquet, you should also give the guests money for 80 yuan's food, that is, if you don't treat them well, the old people like the bride's new grandparents will come to the wedding banquet, and the new people will also prepare to give them money for filial piety. Therefore, some rural people in Yueqing directly pull marriage certificates and dare not hold banquets. I can't afford them. I have several friends who have been married for several years, and I have two children. I don't even have a wedding reception.
In my husband's place, it takes several days to get married, and the most lively day is on the right day. Before my relatives ate a mobile mat, my family helped me. A family of ten people can eat a mobile mat for three days. That's what happened when I got married in Anhui. Relatives said: Someone in Yueqing ate like a flowing mat when he died, and then realized that it was a wedding banquet and stopped working. Invited the sodium team, set the table, sang and danced, and put up with all the relatives who went to eat wine here.
I know that in Yueqing, only when someone dies will a stage be set up in front of the house, and a song and dance troupe will be invited. Marriage is an arch, and the master will have activities. In my husband's village, some people just go home to get married in the New Year. It's convenient to get married for one day. They got married in the hotel. As a result, I was scolded for being unkind, insincere and reluctant to spend money, because in hotels, some neighbors considered that they could not take their children to eat at married homes, and the banquet was limited, and they kept talking for only one day ... Northerners rarely lost money because they received gifts. Yueqing used to collect a little symbolically, but later it was not symbolically collected at all. Northerners have a ceremony of kowtowing to their elders when they get married. Older people give red envelopes to new people, while Yueqing gives red envelopes to new people, and uncle gives wine. If there is no wine, they will also give their uncle a red envelope. Therefore, Yueqing people are basically local tyrants when hosting wedding banquets.
In Yueqing, the most lively thing is the white wedding, singing and dancing, eating and drinking for a few days. My mother-in-law has seen several funerals here, red and green funerals, wonderful gongs and drums, and the band singing joy. My mother-in-law said that whoever did this over there must be pointed out. At the funeral over there, nephews should kneel in front of the mourning hall until the day when the old man goes to the funeral. Everyone should burn paper money. There are obituaries in North Renye Fang. In Dai Xiao, filial sons have to go to relatives' homes, while in the south, they just need to post obituaries at street corners or village entrances. My husband's uncle died, and when he came back from the funeral, his face was blackened, and it took half a month to fade away. I said, why are you so stupid that you won't stay away from the paper basin and let people burn paper in front of you? He said: it is impolite to be far away. No one sings in front of the mourning hall, and no one plays mahjong. Relatives are honest night watchmans. When my husband first came to Wenzhou, he said it was incredible to show movies. In fact, an old man who showed movies died. There, movies are only shown when there are happy events.
In recent years, my husband's second uncle, first aunt and second aunt have all passed away, and my husband and parents-in-law have to go back several times a year. My father-in-law gets sick every time he goes back. On our side, the elderly can't go to the scene of the white matter, for fear that the elderly will be sad. Even brothers know it's just talk. Children are generally not allowed to go to filial piety.
People in Yueqing could not afford to die. Yueqing spends as much as 20 billion yuan a year on the dead, and the poorest family spends as much as100000 on a white job. Yueqing's white affairs were once notorious, and extravagance and waste were alarmingly exaggerated. The city has stepped up its efforts to change customs and traditions and struck out with heavy punches. If it's too extravagant, you can go in and stay for a few days before letting people out. In recent years, customs and traditions have changed and reforms have been vigorously carried out. Funeral expenses have dropped, totaling several billion. The masses are extremely satisfied, because no one will waste it, so no one will say anything, otherwise there will be gossip if a luxury family does not waste it. Nephews and nieces can receive rings distributed by families of white victims. This custom still exists today. Now there is a small custom that families of white victims can take out the money saved and donate it to churches, temples and schools. All the donations were made by the old people before their death. Now the old people don't do these ideas, and their children donate the money they have saved.
Southerners also have a custom that they often build graves on birthdays, which are called Shoufen or Red Fen, which northerners can't accept. People didn't die, so they made graves. And people here, after the age of 60, some people design their own graves. There is a photographer in my virgin village. When he was 60 years old, he made a grave. I have seen his grave, too. The design is very personalized. The grave chair is made of film and the tombstone is a lens. It's horizontal. It's the shape of a camera. It is said that this man has devoted his life to photography. If he doesn't get married, there will be no one. He is still alive. It is said that the completion of birthday tombs can increase the age of old people. Rural people still like to sweep graves early.
Northerners don't build graves in advance. When people die, they surround a field and bury them. Tombstones are made by rich people. Northerners, when someone dies at home, put white at home in the first year, yellow and green in the second and third years respectively. Southerners don't pay attention to this. What makes northerners lose their glasses is that after the death of the old man in the south, red couplets were posted in front of the host's house and in the neighbor's house.
One of the biggest differences between the north and the south is that southerners like to donate money. One family is in trouble, and a hundred families help. Every village in the south can have no village committee, but there must be an association for the elderly. The income of the old association comes from the village, and the best fields in the village belong to the old association. In the past, land was leased to others to collect rent. Now the best fields have become storefronts and factories, and the income of the old people is higher. In peacetime, there are villages. The children will donate to the Association for the Elderly. Anyway, before the basic pension, the old people in Nancun received money several times a year, and their lives were still good.
Northerners even put a blessing on the tree outside the yard during the Spring Festival, but southerners don't.