As we get older, the more things we absorb, the more sensitive our senses become. Those things that people come into contact with every day will inadvertently sneak into your memory and occupy a lost space, so people will become more and more sentimental. When you hear a song, you will suddenly think of someone. When you see a picture, you will suddenly feel deja vu. When you see a picture, you will cry quietly.
Childhood, innocent happiness, don't think too much, there is only one word in your mind "play"! When I was a teenager, I had beautiful dreams and many great dreams. Besides playing, I have added many words in my mind: dream, study, achievement and like! When I was young, the blood of youth began to remind me of everything, but everything was inseparable from the college entrance examination, first love, future, choice and interview! At this time, the capacity of the brain will gradually reach saturation, especially when you just graduated from college and started looking for a job. Any other stimulus besides this will lead to the collapse of my mind and a state of death. Then before that, we'd better give ourselves a general cleaning, restart, close some unnecessary programs, delete some junk files, clean up the desktop, and give ourselves a refreshing space, so that the whole person will have a feeling of shining at the moment.
Then where is our restart button? How to restart?
Then my answer may be more abstract, in our hearts. There are many ways to restart, such as changing a trip; Change a way of life; It varies from person to person to accomplish something that you want to do but have no chance to do. Some people may say that you are simply escaping, but on the contrary, I just adjust my strategy, face it in the best fighting state, and even meet all the challenges in the future. Instead of struggling painfully under the pressure of reality in the state of lack of oxygen, it is better to leave some time for yourself, even listening to a song to relieve your nervousness, adjust yourself to the best state and move on.
I remember that before I came to Shanghai last year, I pressed the restart button of my life.
Last summer, the graduation season, it seems that the four years of college have got nothing but friendship, full memories and certificates and awards one step at a time, leaving nothing behind. Except for the moment when I really arrived at the station and wanted to part ways, I hope that time will stop and the time before I leave will be spent in suffering. Postgraduate entrance examination, examination of civil servants, college posts, examination of public institutions, job hunting, everyone is looking for a direction for their future. The exam is just an interview, but high expectations are instantly suppressed into despair. Graduation means unemployment, and that time is the lowest point in life. Most of my classmates chose to go home or stay here, and a few chose to get married and have children. I chose to wander.
The day after I got my diploma, I went to Tianjin to find friends. I was going to play first and find a job by the way. If not, I will go home. My first interview invitation became my first job after submitting my resume. This position sounds good. I am the executive director of a branch of a chain beauty salon. There is a lot of room for promotion in the future. Everything was so beautiful in the eyes of a graduate except the low salary, but everything was ruined after two months. Low income and high expenditure will soon become unbearable. My family wants me to go back to take the civil service exam and don't want me to suffer outside. Crowding the peak subway every day, afraid to buy clothes. The most visited place is the vegetable market. I read Baidu recipes and learn to cook. I don't want to go to the hospital even if I have a cold and take medicine. I don't want to spend my parents' money But when I lost my cell phone and couldn't sleep at midnight, I really tried to be brave. I think I should go home. It's just that the registration of provincial civil servants is a reason to go back, but when you submit your resignation, buy a ticket, and plan everything when you go back, because you didn't see it clearly when you signed up, the professional restrictions expired, and the registration date was revised, and you suddenly felt lost by fate.
Encouraged by my parents' comfort, I decided to go home first. Staying at home for more than a month has made me understand many things and see more thoroughly. Pushing yourself to hate too much will be counterproductive. Everyone has his own way of life that he yearns for or is enough to satisfy himself. Don't rush to find a good job right after graduation. What you have to do is to settle yourself first, dispel that impetuous arrogance and erase your jealousy of seeing how others are doing. Find a quiet night, or a sunny morning, alone, with soothing music, watching the deep starry sky or clear blue sky, feeling the breeze caressing your cheeks, breathing the fragrance of grass in the soil, thinking nothing, worrying nothing, just feeling slowly with your heart. At this time, your brain is restarting, deleting impetuousness, closing memory and renewing reason. Gradually, your heart will give you an answer and guide you out of the haze.
My answer is simple, it is nothing more than a choice, comfort or travel. Of course, I chose the latter. This time, I didn't assume the possible difficulties in the future, nor did I consider getting married and having children at my age. I just heard a voice in my heart saying, I don't want to give in to reality. Even if I am out of my mind, I want to go out and have a look. I never wanted to find someone to get married and have children comfortably. I just looked up step by step and saw the days of daily necessities in the next few decades. I don't want to be bound by other people's rules about what to do and what not to do at this age. I just want to go out and have a look.
Determined to be generous and backward, I decided to come to Shanghai and move on with the mentality of traveling. After that, I stopped saying how important other people think of me and followed my inner voice.
After coming to Shanghai, there were many difficulties at first, such as renting a house to find a job, unfamiliar dialect, unaccustomed to eating, no heating in winter, no friends and colleagues to make things difficult and so on. But fortunately, I have the experience of Tianjin, and the firm belief after the restart supported me step by step to the present. I don't know how long I will go like this, and I don't know where the future is, but at least I don't regret making such a choice.
Of course, I'm not as strong as I thought. I sometimes cry at midnight. I couldn't help crying when I heard my parents' voices. I was super envious when I saw my classmates having a wedding party and taking a full moon photo of their children. Every holiday, I will walk around alone with my camera and cook myself a delicious meal as compensation. It's been almost a year before I know it. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I made another choice, but I can think about it without that desirable picture. I know all this is the best arrangement.
The first time I wrote here, I suddenly felt that I had nothing to say. Writing is the best way to vent. Don't spray if you don't like it! ?