Due to the development of society, many people now go out to work and study, so they may meet lovers who are not in the same place as themselves. When you are in love, you may not need to consider geographical issues, but when you are about to enter the palace of marriage, you have to consider it. Some people say that now that transportation is so convenient, distance is not a problem. As long as you love each other, you can marry far away. But, is this really the case?
I would like to share some examples of distant marriages around me.
This eldest sister is an old colleague of mine. Let’s call her Sister A at this time. Because I was in the same office as her at the time, and once I heard her talking on the phone in a dialect from another place, I knew that she was married to us from another place. So I heard her talk about her marriage far away. She said that she only went back to her parents' home with her husband and children once during the Chinese New Year, that is, once a year. Every time she went back, she saw that her father's hair was much grayer and he was much older, and she shed tears, even Crying while hugging dad.
It sounds really sad. In fact, this is the biggest problem with marrying far away. My parents are getting older and older. They have only seen each other for so long. What else can I do except hug and cry?
The second person is a friend of a friend of mine. I have only met her a few times. Let’s call her Little B. She is from Hunan and her husband is from Guangdong. We were chatting at that time and also talked about the issue of marrying far away. She and her husband were college classmates. They started falling in love in college and they were still together after graduation. They worked together in Dongguan. Her parents felt that the distance was too far, and they had always been opposed to it, but their objections were ineffective. She said she got pregnant before she was married, and her parents told her to abort the child, break up and return to her hometown. But she refused, and eventually got married and returned to her husband's hometown. During that chat, she told us that she regretted marrying so far away and not seeing her parents for a long time.
She could only regret it, otherwise, what else could she do? Walk the path you choose. After all, if you have a child, you can't just divorce and go back to your parents' home. The most I can do is go back to my parents’ home to see my parents more often.
What’s next? I just know her, not a good friend, but I added her on QQ by chance. What happened to her was told by people around her. About 8 years ago, when she was 20 years old, she met a boyfriend from out of town and got pregnant before they were married. Naturally, she followed him back to his hometown, and the child was one or two years old. , she ran back to her natal family, and the child was raised by the man, even before the marriage was registered (she was not of legal age at the time). She is now remarried. When she remarried, I saw her QQ space writing: "No matter how reluctant I am to let go of that relationship, I have to let it go." It is probably about the father of her first child.
In fact, it is difficult for us to criticize her behavior, although it is indeed her willfulness that caused her first child to grow up in a single-parent family. Maybe she was young at the time and went to a strange place. Her parents were not around and she didn't have many friends. Coupled with the language and diet obstacles, she couldn't take care of that much and couldn't take care of the children, so she ran back to her parents' home. .
The last example. This is my college classmate. When she was in college, she had been in love with a male classmate in her class for three and a half years. Why not 4 years? Because her parents forced her to break up in the last semester because they were not from the same city. Let me explain first that both of them are from Guangdong, just in different cities. Her parents said that if you marry so far away, if you have a fight in the future, you won't even have anywhere to go. So she broke up with her boyfriend. When they broke up, she also wrote a long article on QQ space, probably saying that she really wanted to be together, but they broke up because of the helplessness of reality. She was very sad and shed a lot of tears, etc. Her boyfriend at that time must have been very sad as well, and his QQ space was filled with many words of love for her. At that time, we outsiders felt like crying when we saw these words. We felt that people who love each other could not be together, which was really sad.
After graduation, this female classmate went to Guangzhou, our provincial capital and an international metropolis. There she found a partner whose family was doing business. This partner was fat and probably twice her size, but his biggest feature was that his family had money. Her parents no longer objected. According to the previous logic, she should object, because Guangzhou is quite far away from her hometown.
It is vulgar to talk about money, but money will truly solve all the problems faced by this female classmate when she marries far away. With money, she can often go back to her parents' home, buy a plane ticket and fly there. She can even buy a house for her parents in Guangzhou and bring her parents to live in Guangzhou. So her parents didn't object.
Having mentioned so many examples of marrying far away, if someone asks me if I am willing to marry far away, I think I still cannot accept it. So is it right or wrong to marry far away? You can’t explain clearly, just think about it yourself.