Haha, at this point, it doesn't matter whether relatives have connections or not. Marriage cares about excitement, so why haggle over every ounce.
That is to say, if your cousin gets married, if the meal is ordered by the hotel, your uncle's family will not be invited. There are too many people there and there are not enough tables. It is understandable that your aunt is unhappy. However, since it is a rural area, it is ok to hold a banquet in your own home. At this time, your parents should not be present as guests, but should help them solve problems like their own family.
My six brothers (including cousins), no matter who makes what wine, such as one year old, ten years old, birthday, marriage, housewarming and so on. We are all family members. Our brothers don't need gifts except to marry their daughters. However, my brother and they will say, 200 to 300, but the shopkeeper will twist his head and say no, my son's full moon, my daughter's school banquet, we only invited our brothers and sisters, but everyone had a happy meal.
My wife and niece got married the year before last, and we had a hard time drinking for three days in our hometown in the countryside. My wife and I went to help one day in advance, and the kitchen and wedding room were decorated and the personnel were arranged. Those days were very busy. All six of their brothers and sisters went as a whole. The children played by themselves and the adults helped with the things. Speaking of gift money, it seems that my aunt's wife only gave 600 yuan. I asked her if it was too little, and she said it couldn't be specialized. The other sisters are all 600 yuan, so are all of us. But you can make more extra money by pressing your niece's bag.
So, in fact, the relationship between your family and your aunt's family should not be very good, otherwise, your aunt can't say it. In this case, it was diluted. Anyway, we are relatives, with more enthusiasm and less enthusiasm.
Such relatives obviously look down on you, and there are some so-called relatives in our family, but I have never been to any happy events or anything since I was a child. Basically, I can't even feel the smell of affection for them, but my parents still walk around according to the rules. I remember my parents saying a wonderful thing. Many years ago, before his son got married, my mother greeted him politely in the street. As a result, this relative ignored my mother at all and didn't respond when my mother was a stranger. Who knows that after half a year, his son seems to be getting married, and he sent invitations to my house with wine. At that time, this relative didn't want to invite us anyway, but he was forced to remember the time when his relatives put out wine, so my mother went to the wedding banquet alone, and my father and I didn't attend. My mother went alone, and the gift was 200 yuan. After a while, this relative actually said behind our backs that we didn't buy anything for their wedding banquet, only 200 red envelopes. This so-called relative gossips everywhere, saying that we don't want a red envelope with nothing. My mother went to the wedding reception alone, and it's not too much to pay 200 yuan! In return, I gave my mother 20 yuan! It's equivalent that my mother spent 180 yuan eating a heartless meal. If it's my personal opinion, don't force it. Others don't take themselves seriously. Why should they care about these relationships? I'm definitely not going out.
When your rural cousin got married, it may be that you and your aunt didn't handle it well, so that two good relatives separated, and the happy event turned into an unhappy thing.
First, you should analyze your behavior. Is there anything really disrespectful? For example, as your aunt said, how much gift money people get in Rome, your family takes too little, and there are too many people who happen to come, but you don't feel it, giving people a feeling of taking advantage and eating a lot. Will it be like this?
If so, I advise you to make up the gift money or buy something for your aunt. You should be polite, don't be stingy, treat your loved ones sincerely, can't afford to go, and can't do things that people look down upon.
If there are many gifts, but many people go to eat, if so, it may be your aunt's problem.
It stands to reason that in rural areas, when a daughter gets married, the more relatives come to congratulate, the better. It should be like this. Therefore, your aunt should not think that there are many people coming to your home.
If it is really that your family's gift money is too small and there are many people coming, even if she is right, it is wrong to choose the right one at this time. She should communicate this matter afterwards, and the two adults should not blame it face to face and embarrass your family in front of everyone.
I guess your aunt is not a kind person either. Now that she can say it to her face, maybe she doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore. You'd better pay attention to your uncle's attitude. If your uncle doesn't want to break up with you and is willing to associate with you, then you should look at his face and don't care too much about his aunt's attitude. If your uncle acquiesces to your aunt, says nothing, and doesn't make it clear that he won't come and go, forget about this kind of relatives who care about friendship!
Such relatives don't leave!
Marriage is a happy event, and the lively wedding is fresh in people's memory. Of course, I hope that the more relatives and friends come, the better!
I think most people from home value and flatter their host family. If you look down on you, it may be just a perfunctory form of red envelope transfer. There is no need to send the most sincere wishes in person. On the other hand, what can we afford to eat at home now? Is it necessary to use the dinner?
I met such an embarrassing thing:
Our custom is to pay a New Year call to my uncle on the second day of every year, thinking that my uncle is the person who needs the most respect besides my mother.
That year, there were 65,438+00 people in our family who went to pay a New Year call to my uncle and aunt. My wife, son, daughter, my brother's family of four and my parents all thought my aunt was pale when we went. We simply fried a few dishes. It was my son's first visit. When she left, she wrapped a red envelope for my son. Turns out it's only 50 yuan to go home and open it. This makes me feel ashamed.
This is humiliating me. Maybe she thinks my family walks too much and wastes her food! After that, I never set foot in her house again …
The essence of visiting relatives and friends is to connect feelings, but now some people in society regard visiting relatives and friends as a business and calculate their own gains and losses. I have to say, this is a kind of sadness!
I have held my own children's wedding, and I should also be invited to the wedding banquet of my relatives' children, so I would like to be fair here.
I don't think it's a question of whether the gift is enough to eat, but whether many people need to go home and the attitude of the host family towards the guests.
Since it is a wedding banquet, there are no accurate figures for the number of participants except the guests who come to eat. Many people are not too many, and few people are not too few. It depends on the host's mentality preferences, some meaningful, some like lively glitz; The number of gifts is arranged in the order of relatives and friends. It depends on how many people you send in the same sequence. Generally speaking, not as much as you personally want. This is not a big argument.
Now let's look at the participants in the happy event:
1, is to invite relatives and guests. This is a VIP, and you should be respected and enjoy VIP service before you are eligible for a wedding banquet.
2. People who are busy with odd jobs can be the younger generation of relatives or the neighbors around them.
3. Relatives and people who come to join in the fun.
Generally speaking, he is not a person who gives gifts to guests and is busy with odd jobs. Just watching the fun is consciously not eating. Family members brought by relatives who come to dinner will still be treated as guests. In fact, these people, adults and children, are not necessary except for excitement.
This is the local custom of some of my relatives. When relatives have any happy events, even if they move, the whole family will rush to the table to have fun and follow it for several days.
Take all the children with you. First, catch up with the fun. Second, let people show off their children. Third, they are too lazy to make a fire and cook. I want to be free, too. Don't take good care of the children. The master has many happy events, so you let him find them. He is busy as a fiddle. The child is young and has no manners. He beat and cried, his seat spread out and he swarmed in. Who likes this? After all, marriage is a grand ceremony and a lively and polite occasion.
These relatives also come to my house. If there is anything specific, they want to take their children with them as treasures. They get bored when they arrive, so I want you to find them. They will either destroy you or knock you down, but you won't talk or leave without asking. To tell the truth, sometimes I expect them to come, but I'm afraid they will.
But as a guest host, I will never say what a guest relative is, because all of them are people who have grown up with their children, and the relatives who can come are not outsiders. This is intolerable, but what kind of relatives can we still associate with?
In view of the above personal experience and our custom, when I drive my relatives to get married and give gifts, I often represent my family alone. If I want to play, I will have a quiet time and want to walk neatly. If my relatives have a happy event, everyone else will stay at home and take turns to discuss it. Don't all join in the fun and bring unnecessary trouble to people.
Your aunt said that your cousin attended many weddings and didn't have enough money to accompany Li to dinner, which only showed that she was short-sighted and narrow-minded, but what your aunt said didn't mean that your uncle and grandparents were talkative. Don't be angry and understand each other. If you catch up with relatives' banquets in the future, should you also invite them? If you don't ask or do it, you won't go, and you are too lazy to join in the fun?
If your aunt lives in the city, her cousin will hold a wedding reception at the hotel and entertain guests, saying that your aunt satirizes that too many people come to your house. I totally understand that. Your aunt really went too far when you said that her family lived in the countryside. As we all know, all the ingredients of rural people's wedding banquets are bought in county and municipal wholesale markets, and are all made by chefs themselves. Not only is it bigger than the hotel, but the price is also cheaper than the hotel. Rural people have a habit of inviting more guests when there is a happy event to show their host's popularity. If there are fewer people in the family who do wedding ceremonies, it will seem deserted.
Everyone will laugh at the poor relationship between relatives and neighbors in this family. On the surface, everyone says nothing, but in their hearts, they still look down on the relationship between people and things. So you said your aunt's way of dealing with people, I think it's really difficult to dig, and no matter how hard you dig, you shouldn't dig your aunt's nephew and niece. This is a real relative. Since it is a daughter's wedding, it is a happy event. Why do you care if there are many people? There is no difference between having such relatives and not having them.
This is my answer, purely personal. Please comment on the shortcomings.
Thanks to readers for reading.
Thank you for your invitation.
With gifts, there are generally standards. Do as Romans do in Rome. The reason for this phenomenon you mentioned may be that you don't understand the local custom of accompanying gifts and ignore the problem of gift share, which is really too little; But no matter how much, your aunt should not be unhappy and embarrass you, so that relatives will not get along well in the future. Actually, it's totally acceptable for her to have a wedding. The more, the better. Isn't it just a festive occasion? As for the question of how much gift money to receive, it depends on how much you usually give, as long as you know the rules of reciprocity.
I'll tell you again, "Your uncle is your mother's brother and a close relative. You shouldn't break up with your aunt because of her rude behavior, because after all, your uncle didn't show signs of being as rude as your aunt. On holidays, buying some gifts to see my uncle is also to close the distance between relatives and ease the relationship. There is a saying in western Liaoning, Northeast China: "My mother's uncle is big, my aunt is close, and my generation is close." "This man's heart is full of meat. Your aunt's heart is a stone, it will be covered! When we get along with our loved ones, we should pay more attention to understanding and caring, because consanguinity is an eternal law and a branch of the same strain! "
Thanks for the net map!
When my cousin got married, menstruation sarcastically said, there are many people going, so do relatives have to move around?
Like a wedding banquet, there are rules, so don't follow them in your family!
①: If she gave your family a gift of 200 yuan before and went to a person, your family will give a gift of 300 yuan to a person this time, which is higher than the gift she gave to your family.
②: If one person goes to get 300, two people go to get 600, three people go to get 900, and one more person goes to get an extra gift, you should inform in advance.
It is forbidden to bring gifts to others. Every relative hates to eat cheap relatives!
Think about it. Ten tables were originally prepared, and suddenly one person from each household came to twenty tables. How can we seat more people? There is no time to make ten more tables. This kind of thing is irritating and can't be solved!
3 Good relatives can give more gifts and fewer people; Relatives who have a bad relationship will be broken if they return the favor.
According to our local custom, no matter how much bride price is given to my uncle's daughter, the whole family goes to the wedding reception. People will be unhappy if they don't go at home, because they are immediate family members. Moreover, no matter who holds the banquet, whether in the country or in the city, people will count the number of people and leave a little room. So there is only one explanation for this question mentioned by this friend. My aunt looks down on your family. Even if you look down on your family, you shouldn't break out in person, so it will be too embarrassing to communicate in the future, so your aunt is a person with no virtue and not smart enough. When my cousin gets married, there will be more people who dig at our family. Do such relatives still need to move around? There is an old saying, uncle mom. In human blood relationship, uncle's relatives are very close; It is impossible for such relatives not to move and communicate, but they can visit less and move less.
It stands to reason that marriage is a happy event, and the more relatives and friends, the more festive and lively. Besides, it is the relationship between uncle and aunt, and more importantly, congratulations and best wishes.
Kinship is a special kinship formed by blood coagulation; This special relationship, to some extent, cannot be measured by money. But some people don't care about the economic gains and losses at home, but fall into the eyes of money. They deal with people, worry about things and care about their weight. As you said, your aunt should be such a person.
Your aunt is so kind to you that she is above your uncle. When your daughter gets married, many people go to her nephew's house. She gives you less money, which makes her suffer financially. Such an aunt belongs to a woman who looks at people through the door. Born to be a two-faced person, he is narrow-minded, difficult to get along with, unruly and arrogant. For those who are well-off and powerful, she looks down on their eyes to curry favor with them; On the other hand, for the poor and powerless, she will look down on others, look down on each other, and even hurt people with ugly words, revealing a naked face of success.
As the saying goes, people are poor and inseparable. Since I met such an unreasonable aunt, I don't have to be too serious. Less contact and communication in the future, so as not to bring shame to yourself. However, you don't have to break off the relationship, live and die together. After all, there is the relationship between uncle and mother.
As long as you are Qixin, the younger generation, work hard, study hard, work hard and get rich. Once your family is richer than your aunt, or someone in your family works in a government department, your aunt will never come to you again.