2, don't talk to me about ideals, quit! 3. If you fall, get up and cry ~~~ 4. Keep a low profile! It's the best b show! ! 6. I'm sorry to make you laugh. 7. I can resist everything except temptation ... 8. I not only have a car, but also make it myself ... 9. I light a cigarette, but I am lonely ... 1 1. I am not smart, and I am as bald as others. 12, don't call me playboy if you can't tie my heart! 13, Chopin of Niu B, can't play Lao Tzu's sadness! 14, be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time. 16, I never hold grudges. I usually report it on the spot. 17, don't call me if you have nothing, let alone something! 19, I like you so much that you will die if you like me? I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me? 2 1. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth. How much is true? ! 22. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me! 24. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience? 26. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary. 27. Teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer I am to you, the farther I am from the Buddha ... 29. You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard! 30. If you choose to look up at others at 45, don't blame others for looking down at you at 135. 3 1, if you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you! I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world. 33. People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared. 34. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside the toilet ... 35. Love, just say it out loud, because you never know, tomorrow or accident will come first! 39. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in too many chefs for more than 20 years! 40. I feel bad today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I've had enough. 42. Even if it is a piece of shit, you will meet dung beetles one day. So you don't have to worry too much about yourself today. 43. If I win10 million, I will buy 30 houses and rent them to others, and collect the rent once a day. Wow, Kaka ~ ~ It's full! 44, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but may be a Tang priest; Wings are not necessarily angels, but sometimes birds. 45. "Love" is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from Metamorphosis, and the lower part is taken from Metamorphosis. There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you? Everything will be fine, and all shall be well. 6. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies. 8. Stay in Qingshan, but there is still no firewood to burn ... 9. Strongly protest that the TV series was interrupted during the advertising time! 10. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and made my bones and muscles tired ... 12. My principle is: I won't commit crimes unless people commit crimes against me; If someone attacks me, I will be angry! 13. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right way will be crowded. 15. The generation gap is-I asked my father, "What do you think of the chrysanthemum table?" Dad thought for a moment and said, "No!" 16. at first glance, you are not so good, but at second glance, you might as well look fierce. 18. A woman who knows little about men finally becomes a man's wife, and a woman who knows everything about men finally becomes an old woman. 20. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated. . 22. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card. 26. If it is a mistake to have money, I would rather make the same mistake again. 27. If marriage is the grave of love, then I expect someone to bury me. 28. Never hang yourself from a tree. Try it on the surrounding trees several times. 33. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that being handsome can be so single-minded! 35. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. I was shocked when I ate the first one: Is there anything worse in the world? I cried after eating the second one: there really is! 36. Cherish your life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan. 4 1. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad. 43. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except chewing gum. 44. Be sure to be reborn as a woman in the next life, and then marry a man like me. 47. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin! ! 50. What's the use of "handsome"! Finally, it was eaten by the "pawn"! Love is like playing basketball. There are attacks and defenses, and sometimes there are fake actions! 55. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie! 60. In a threesome, there must be a teacher, a swordsman, a strong person, a love triangle and a wound. 63. I can't play chess, I can't paint and write, and I am too tired to wash and cook. 7 1. Healthy and simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy. 72. Mistakes are temporary regrets, and misses are eternal regrets. 75. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside. When I was a child, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome boy", which puzzled me. Later my classmates showed me a mirror. Oh, I suddenly understand! 8 1. Men deepen their friendship because of alcohol and tobacco, while women deepen their friendship because of complaints. 83. Don't force a man to lie, he will hate you; Don't take his words seriously, you will hate him. 85. Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love. 95. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed. 106. Many years ago, there was a rainbow after the storm. 107. Nostalgia-not because of how good that era was, but because you were still young at that time. 108. Go to the hospital for physical examination and pass the E.N.T. Department. After careful examination, the doctor wrote a "handsome" 1 on my physical examination form. When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. If someone wants to get on the bus, I will say, sorry, this is a private car. 3.4. A gentleman is just a patient wolf. 5. It is not necessarily a good thing for everyone to stand on one side. For example, they are all on the side of the boat. 6. Relax, I'm not a good person ... 7. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... I started ... In fact, I also ... I told you, in fact, I like mine. As a typical failure, you really succeeded. If there is 300W, everyone says it is better to buy Mercedes or Ferrari. You'd better buy 300 second-hand Otto, and then hire 300 drivers to drive behind you. One minute they will be arranged in an S shape, and the other minute they will be arranged in a B shape, 12. I smile at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then I'm going to sleep! 14, my father expressed his views on my obesity: Han Hong's life was not lost, but Han Hong's disease was also found. 16, don't cry at my grave. Dirty my path of reincarnation. 2 1. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you get to know me later, you will definitely hit me. 22. People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared. 23. The road to success is always under construction. 24, I don't go to hell, who loves who goes to 27, after many years, sigh, those two teenagers: one is amazing, the other is gentle. 28. If she (he) says to you, "Forget me." You tell each other, "I never remember." 29. You are very kind to us. I will always remember that I will never let you go if I am a ghost. Dear female colleagues, please don't be angry with me. My wife has a caller ID. I remember I made up my mind to be an interesting person. 33. Think about salary. Forget it. I don't want to live. 34. Well, give me an affordable grave. I have lived for more than 20 years and have never done anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches. 36. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. It's only been a few years 38. A man keeps his word-I won't pay back the money if I say no! 39. Laozi said: Sleep can sleep, very sleep. 40. Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you. 42. Special people never say they are special. For example, I know that everything will come to an end, but at least I want to eat well at the banquet! 46. I will take my sunshine road and you will cross your Naihe Bridge. 47. The world belongs to us and our children, but ultimately to our children and grandchildren! 49, the simplest secret of longevity-keep breathing, don't die 52, the long road of life, there will always be a few steps wrong. 53. I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him ... 54. You take your overpass and I'll take my underground passage. 55. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping and dynamic is turning over ... 56. Where I fall, where I get up ... I always fall there, and I suspect there is a pit! 58. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune. 59. When people do good deeds, they always want ghosts and gods to know. They have done bad things and always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We embarrassed ghosts and gods. 60. Ask who is the most enlightened person in the world and ask me to do my part. 6 1. If you can't tolerate me, it means that either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great. 65. You have a 30-degree smile at the corner of your mouth, which Baidu can't find. 66. Of course God will forgive me, because that's his profession. I spent my whole life looking back on my youth and doubting my life. If you were a flower, cows would not dare to shit in the future! Emotional drama, I have no acting skills. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. I didn't surprise you this winter ... there's nothing wrong with liking someone. The mistake is that someone who likes you but doesn't like you will cry, which doesn't mean you are really compassionate. Just because I smile doesn't mean everything is fine. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture. 6. Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall. 13. The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still dismissed me. 16. Are you a dung ball that was once rolled by a small low-energy dog and a cockroach that was adopted by a master with mental retardation in Shaolin Temple, claiming that pear blossoms crush Haitang? Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil! 90. Miss's beard looks so euphemistic that she must be a good family! It's not Zhou Xingxing's disease, but it's good.