1. An official magistrate is rich and has offended many people in some places. One day, when he was walking his dog by the river, suddenly a killer stabbed his dog to death? The magistrate asked him, why did you kill my dog? The assassin looked at the man contemptuously and replied, someone paid me to buy your dog's life. I'm happy to ask, who is your teacher? I wrapped him a big red envelope! As the two chatted more and more, the assassin suddenly asked him: Where is your girlfriend from? Everyone replied: I don't have a girlfriend yet! The assassin suddenly stabbed the knife and said, single dog is also a dog!

2. One day, a woman heard that traffickers often abduct women in a village. She was in the seventh heaven of rapture. She goes to the village every five days and looks forward to being abducted every day.

One night, she was finally knocked unconscious by the trafficker and tied into the car. The trafficker saw the woman's appearance and said to her, "Sister! This place is too dangerous. You'd better get off and go! " this

The woman didn't want to get off the bus, so the trafficker boss had no choice but to say to several buddies around her, "I don't want a car, she won't leave, let's go!" " "

A boy met a beautiful girl while drinking in a bar. He wanted to go up and strike up a conversation, but he was afraid. So he had a brainwave, wrote a note and gave it to the beautiful girl. It says: If you like me, please smile, if you don't like me, please do a backflip. The girl looked at the note, smiled, stood up and patted the table. It was another back flip.

4. A man said: Let's break up! The woman asked inexplicably: Why? Don't you 176 and I 165 match well? Man: Be good to your sister! My height 176 and your weight 165.

My sister bought some boxes of chocolates for my boyfriend, so I leaned over and said to her, "Sister, give me a taste!" She said, "If you eat it, you will die." I don't understand. She gave me a sentence: "dogs can't eat chocolate." Me: Is this my own sister?

6. A buddy of mine just bought a new car. The words "Don't kiss me" were pasted on the back of his car. The next morning, someone else rubbed the car. When he got off the bus, he saw a middle-aged woman. He said sadly, dear! This is my first kiss!

7. When I just graduated, I joined the work. I have a good relationship with the above in the factory. When chatting, the leader said that there was a good girl who wanted to introduce me. The girl also works in a linen factory. We talked for two months, but we really have nothing in common. I thought it was time to end this relationship! Breaking up this kind of thing, whoever says first is the winner, I summon up courage to say: "let's be ordinary friends!" " "The girl looked at me blankly:" We are ordinary friends! "Now I finally understand that whoever is serious about love will lose.

"Excerpted from: jokew, 20 16 humor jokes for men and women" I hope it will help you!