Dr. Wei
20 17- 12-29
128 | Reader's question and answer: What if "Fowa" doesn't like socializing?
Narrator: Proofreading
Dr. Wei
I will discuss two topics with you next week, one is vanity and the other is working memory.
Recently, there are many festivals, such as Christmas, New Year's Day and Spring Festival ... It's time for children to receive gifts. But at this time, mom and dad should have a headache. When children see what others have, they cry for it, especially envious of other people's things. Is he vain? What should I do? Don't worry, I'll tell you next week.
Another topic is "working memory". Working memory is a special short-term memory and one of the core cognitive abilities related to intelligence. Generally speaking, the average person's short-term memory capacity is 4 units, and you can't remember it anymore. This ability is particularly important. If the magic lamp can only satisfy one wish, I hope it is "twice as much as working memory!" So how to improve children's working memory? I'll talk to you next week.
Question and answer time this week
1. What if "Fowa" doesn't like socializing?
2. Parents divorced, how to help children through the confusion period?
3. How to help children know the clock?
I am very tired after work. How should I play with children?
5. What if the child is praised before he can eat by himself?
1. What if "Fowa" doesn't like socializing?
@Chenyixin
My baby is one and a half years old. She is emotional and extremely sensitive. What worries me is that when she meets her own children, other children are curious to walk around, or dance and swing to the music, touching and playing with each other at close range. The baby just observes others from a distance and always snuggles up to his mother.
We often joke that babies are not like children, and there is an ancient soul living in their bodies. I'm worried that such a party will deepen her social habit of "isolation", but I don't want to force her to socialize. What should I do?
Dr. Wei
Your observation is very keen. Every child reacts differently to emotions, new environment and strangers. Babies are sensitive to emotions, so they tend to avoid playing with their peers, which is a normal reaction. Strangeness brings uncertainty and children feel unsafe. Give her more time to observe and get familiar with it, and she will adapt step by step. Moreover, it is too early for a one-and-a-half-year-old baby to associate with his peers. She is not a "Buddha", she doesn't see through the world of mortals, but she is not deeply involved in the world.
I suggest you review the following two articles:
Knowledge points:
008 | How does the baby socialize? Parents lead the way.
050 | Pretend to play games and act as a social expert.
2. Parents divorced, how to help children through the confusion period?
@ Feifei
My family has just undergone great changes. My husband and I divorced and raised our children by ourselves. My four-year-old son is not sure about the fact that his parents are separated. He often asks about my father and wants to play with his parents and travel with them.
Every time I ask a question, my heart aches. On the one hand, I feel sorry for my son so that he can't enjoy the happiness of a family of three as before; On the other hand, I don't want to think about the past. Excuse me, how to help children get through this period of confusion?
Dr. Wei
I'm sorry to hear the news. Divorce affects not only children, but also you. This is a complicated problem, which cannot be solved in a few words.
I recommend you to read the book "Positive Discipline of Single-parent Families", which is the work of jane nelsen, the founder of positive discipline. The core idea of this book is that single-parent families are not "broken families", and their children are not doomed to failure and disappointment. With hard work, love and positive parenting skills, single parents can cultivate their children into capable, satisfied and successful people, make single-parent families a calm, safe and loving home, and become healthier and calmer parents themselves-and happier people.
I wish you and your children an early return to the right track.
Knowledge points:
028 | Live Summary: You may have missed this 12 question.
3. How to help children know the clock?
@ Little Ant
How to teach a five-year-old baby to know the clock in an interesting way? I tried to teach him by myself, but the baby didn't understand.
Dr. Wei
The fundamental purpose of knowing the clock is to know the time, but time is invisible and intangible. What should I do? Yes, we can use something more specific and familiar.
Looking back on the past, basing on the present and looking forward to the future-you see, we use space to understand time. Don't the words "review", "foothold" and "prospect" mean that we are standing by the long river of history, looking back at the past and looking forward to the future? We also use specific events to refer to time. For example, in martial arts novels, there are "when drinking tea", "when eating" or "when fragrant".
Now, your child is five years old. He knows the four seasons, morning, afternoon and evening, as well as attendance, lunch, nap, games and school in kindergarten. You might as well write these schedules on a piece of paper and arrange them from left to right. Time is captured by you in the form of space, and children will understand the concept of cycle.
Isn't this the form of a clock? Repeat the cycle from 0 to 12. Draw a clock and imagine the hour hand and the minute hand as two little people walking. Let the children know the big concept first, 1 point, 2 points and 3 points; When he understands, he will know 1: 30, 2: 30, 3: 30, and then what time can it be?
You can also let your child pretend to be a clock, with the left hand being an hour hand and the right hand being a minute hand. You say the time, and he will draw lots. You can also choose some desktop games, such as the time-conscious board game "Wolf, Wolf, what time is it?" British Orchard Toy Company. What time is it? ), these ways can improve the interest.
Knowledge points:
099 | tolerate children's "muddling along"
I am very tired after work. How should I play with children?
never give up
I am very tired when I come home from work every day, but my baby is very clingy. I get angry when I don't play with her. I don't know what to do with it.
Dr. Wei
This is really a distressing problem. I'll give you two little suggestions:
First of all, adjust your mind before going home. This week, we studied the topic of cognitive flexibility. Children will have difficulties in the transition between activities, such as playing in the playground and refusing to go home, playing with building blocks and refusing to eat. In fact, when we transition from work to family, the same problem will exist.
After leaving the office, I will tell myself that the main task of going home is to accompany the baby. Give yourself a break on the road, let your mind rest, and then think about what you can play with your daughter when you go back. Everyone knows that I can't get in touch for a while every day, because I left my mobile phone in the drawer when I got home. With the baby, I feel less tired.
Secondly, find some lazy games to play. For example, I can lie down and play games. My daughter is a doctor and I am a patient. I lay on the sofa pretending to have a stomachache. Let her examine me and find medicine to eat. Or pretend that I am a table, and she uses my back as a desktop and plays house. For example, I tied a plush toy to an old fishing rod and told my daughter that the bear was hanging on a tree. She is like a fireman, running around to catch a bear, in order to save it. These are all games that parents can sit and play.
Knowledge points:
023 | How do parents get rid of their children's time kidnapping?
5. What if the child is praised before he can eat by himself?
@ Xiaoyue
A two-and-a-half-year-old boy needs a reward from his parents' behavior every time he eats. For example, if each of us applauds or gives him a thumbs-up at the same time, he can continue to eat a bite. I feel that he ate it to get our praise. Without praise, he can't eat. In addition, when eating, he sings for a while and beats the table for a while, as if eating is not his own business. What should we do?
Dr. Wei
Many treasure moms and dads are worried about their children's difficulty in eating. From your description, children eat like play. When he builds blocks and puzzles, he needs someone to give him oral praise. He may also sing and beat the rhythm while eating.
In fact, in the eyes of children, there is really not much difference between eating and playing. This behavior of the child shows that he is not interested in the game he eats. Please note the following points:
First of all, do children eat many snacks before eating? If so, it will lead to no appetite to eat.
Secondly, is the tableware you provide for your children interesting? Is the food delicious? Children will be more willing to eat, because tableware is in the shape of small animals; Because the food is delicious, for example, eggs can be made into love and bear shapes in different ways, which makes them more interesting to eat. Children are easily bored with monotonous recipes, so it is recommended to learn more new methods.
Third, do children have enough space to "enjoy" their meals? Some parents can't stand it when children eat with spoons and hands and food falls to the ground. But in fact, these situations are the normal performance of children of this age. Their fingers are not flexible enough, and their eyes and hands are not coordinated enough to eat normally like gentlemen and ladies. This requirement is too high. It is not generally difficult for children to eat by themselves, but they can't eat as much as they want. You might as well put your child in a high chair and put on a bib, so that he can explore the freedom of eating. Except for throwing food on purpose, other behaviors don't need intervention. Children will eat more and be more civilized if they practice more.
Fourth, do children have enough time to eat? Some parents want their children to finish eating in half an hour, just like themselves. Even if you don't say it, the child can see the sense of urgency on your face, but he is slow to respond and wants to test your bottom line. However, the process of children eating is to eat while playing, so we might as well give him more time, for example, within an hour. If the child starts throwing food, it means that he doesn't want to eat. You can put things away, take him to wash his hands and face, and then play with other toys.
Finally, I suggest that you first see if the growth curve of your child is within the normal range. If you are thin, it is recommended to go to the hospital.
What do you have in helping children eat independently? For example, interesting tableware, delicious recipes and effective guidance methods ... welcome to share them in the message area below to help more children become "snack goods"!
Parents share this week.
Dr. Wei
On Wednesday, you learned about cognitive flexibility, that is, whether children can "give up" the old way of doing things and think and look at things in a new way according to the new situation. Ma Bao Gao Gao analyzed the differences in flexibility between her two daughters. The eldest daughter is better than the youngest, because the eldest daughter brought it by herself and has been well trained in this field since childhood. The youngest daughter is mainly brought by grandma, but she is weak.
"Constant" makes children feel comfortable, but "change" can make children progress. Within the acceptable range of the child, you may wish to gently push him forward.
Ma Bao @ Gao Share: Cognitive flexibility is inseparable from acquired training.
After learning the lesson "My baby is stubborn: cognitive flexibility is not enough", my understanding of the cognitive flexibility of my two daughters has been enlightened, and some problems have been solved: the eldest daughter was brought up by me since childhood, and her cognitive habits and living habits are relatively better, so the eldest daughter is not a stubborn child now.
We play a game called "You say and I do", which changes with her age and cognitive level.
Before the age of one, when we are not good at talking, we make eye contact. For example, I asked what a lamp was. What is a door? She will answer me with her eyes.
From one and a half to two years old, she can answer these questions with words and body. I asked her to point out some parts of her body more frequently. ?
At the age of two to three, children began to contact English, so the game appeared bilingual mode again, and children could switch between Chinese and English.
Recently, in kindergarten, our games have made great progress. First, the roles of giving instructions can be interchanged. My daughter can also be the person who gives instructions, and I will be the person who completes them. Secondly, the rules of the game have also been upgraded to "irrelevant answer". For example, if I say "eyes", she will quickly point out that it is not any part of the eyes. If the child says "run", I will make another action besides running. The game was upgraded and the children had more fun.
Because of her work, the youngest daughter spends more time with her grandmother, almost every day is the same process, and there are no small games to play with. Perhaps this is the root cause of her stubborn thinking mode and temper. For example, she has to wear whatever clothes she wants, and she will cry when she changes to other clothes.
I used to think it was the difference in natural personalities between the two children. Thinking about it now is inseparable from the cultivation and guidance of the day after tomorrow. I will take care of my little daughter when she enters kindergarten next year. I hope it's not too late to mend, and I hope I can guide and cultivate my little daughter's cognitive flexibility through continuous efforts.