Yesterday, I took the CET-4 again. It happens that you are in the same examination room. You have a new hairstyle, and you look neat. I bought the same pair of Nike shoes with you. At that time, I said that these shoes were really ugly, and you said that I had no vision.
We were divided into five rows and two groups. My English has always been poor, and so have you. When I finished CET-4 for the first time, you said that we would study English together. I said yes, but this sentence has never been realized.
After handing in the paper, I hurried to the door in order to be closer to you. We looked at each other and didn't communicate. Go out in two directions and see your roommate. His customary name is sister-in-law. I smiled, and then he said, Oh, sorry, I forgot. I didn't say anything.
I heard the boy next to you calling your name and saying, Come on, go back and fight. You shouldn't have come to take the exam. You said, I c, I don't know a word.
At that time, every time you were in a bad mood, you would text me and say, daughter-in-law, I can recite words. This has always been your excuse. I know that every time you say this, you just want to be alone. Let me not bother you.
Speaking of which, you should be angry with me. Your name is DOTA. I always call you. As soon as I saw your state become busy, I was flustered, sent you a window vibration and called you. Your tone is a little impatient, so I make trouble without reason. Then listen to you coax me, daughter-in-law. I was wrong, okay? Be good. I will be happy. One minute I was crying, and the next I was happy.
I know you often come to this post, so I will come and see what you sent and said when I am free. What you said is related to the game. In fact, I especially hate the game DOTA. I think it's just a bunch of monsters fighting and killing people. I hate it and take up our time. I hate it when you make an appointment with those teammates to play this game day and night. Then throw it to me, daughter-in-law. Go to bed early. I'm fighting.
This is your hobby, I understand. For example, I like to watch some women's websites that you are bored with, and play with some retarded people.
When we were together, you said that you gave up a lot of time playing games for me, and your teammates were complaining about you. I can still hear the reproach in your voice. You blame me for sticking to you, and you say that boys like freedom. What you want is that I appear when you need me, and disappear when you don't need me.
Eat together, have classes together and push the road together every day. As a result, the farther we go, the farther you are from me.
I feel sorry for my teammates when you say daughter-in-law.
I don't understand, but I can understand your guilt and remorse. I said nothing, my husband is the best in my eyes.
I know you work hard and practice with your teammates for this competition. Let me eat alone and attend classes alone. I don't have any friends. My roommates know that we have been together and never ask me for anything.
I don't blame you at all, but sometimes I feel lonely. Walking in school that day, I met the boy who chased me before. He asked me why I wasn't with you. I said, ah, he has something to do. He said that the beauty was so sad that she invited you to dinner. I know that you are male chauvinist and oppose my association with all boys. I said I'm not going. I have work to do. He said that family education is really strict, haha.
They all know that we are strict with each other, and I forbid you to talk to other girls. I can be very stingy sometimes. If you talk to any girl in school, I will be unhappy. I know it's not good. You said I didn't trust you, and neither did you. Accidentally praised a boy, and you said impatiently that he was easy to find.
You always call me angry, stingy, unreasonable and willful. In fact, several girls in love are not like this. I'm trying to change for you, but you say I'm cold and don't care about you.
I was a little scared when I wrote this, in case you saw it. You'll find this is mine. You'll call me melodramatic again.
I am always sentimental and cry. Before, you always touched my head and called me a silly girl. Later, you became impatient. When you say something, you just say it, you just cry.
We put all the money together and I have it. You are careless and have no calculation in your heart. Our family conditions are similar. I try not to spend too much money on you. I keep accounts every month. Make a rough budget every time you go out to play.
It's not that I don't mind seeing those beautiful clothes when I go shopping. Every time you say you like them, try them. You say daughter-in-law, you can buy it if you like. Don't be afraid to spend money. I hesitate to give a reason, clothes don't suit me, clothes are too short, the color of clothes makes my face black, and clothes don't match. Every time I have many reasons, why do you choose this way? I think it looks good. I said I just didn't like it, and then I quickly dragged you away. I'm only 20 years old. How can I not like clothes full of windows? But after thinking about it, I still can't bear to part with a three-digit dress. If I really like it, I don't want you to buy it for me. I'll just buy it myself when I go shopping
You are actually very kind to me. When I was in poor health, you rushed to buy me medicine. You took me by car for a long time to eat my favorite food. Say good night to your daughter-in-law every night. Hold my hand tightly when crossing the road. You always call me stupid, but every time you say it, you like it. I'm still very happy to hear that.
When did it start? Don't do this to me again. Do you like someone else, or are you tired of me?
You don't answer every message I give you, so the first thing I call you is why? I can't find you if I'm okay. I miss you.
You said you like girls to wear pure clothes. I probably wore some mature clothes before I met you. I don't have the clean and refreshing white T-shirt you like. In order to satisfy your preference, I straighten my hair, wear canvas shoes, jeans and tie a ponytail every day. I put away all the short skirts, stockings and high heels. Because you don't like it.
Once I met a beautiful woman walking, high heels, denim skirt and black stockings. You said look at this leg. I admit I'm a little jealous. I said my legs are like this, and you still won't let me wear them. You said that others walked by like this, how dare you dress like this.
These things are not logical at all. Should I write about the sweetness we just started together and then write about breaking up slowly?
I'd better talk about the departure date. Because I'm going through.
Seven days ago, you said, let's separate. I thought you were joking, and I said, okay. You look at me and say, I'm serious. I still don't take it seriously. I said I was serious, too Then you suddenly hugged me and said, I'm sorry, let's break up. My eyes suddenly fell. I said in the calmest voice, why? You said, I feel tired. I said, oh, I couldn't say a word, and I was choked up by tears.
You said you were happy with me, but it gradually became a burden. You said that I would make you tired, always worried, always cranky, always unreasonable. You said you thought you had done well enough, but it always made me unhappy. You said, I love you, but I can't help it anymore.
I still can't say a word. You dry my tears and say, look, you cry too much. Don't cry all the time.
You take me back to the dormitory. At the door of the dormitory, you kissed me on the forehead. Turned and left. I went to the dormitory hall and looked back. I hope you smile and wave to me as before and say goodbye to your daughter-in-law. But no, you left without looking back.
Back to the dormitory, I was afraid to tell my roommate that I was wearing headphones to watch a movie, and then I cried. My roommate asked me what happened, and I smiled and said that watching movies was so touching.
Your head is gray. I know you canceled invisibility. Maybe you have deleted me. The grouping I gave you still exists. I went to your school and all my special friends left. What's new is just the news of several World Cups you shared.
Your speed is too fast for me to react. Someone on QQ asked me, what happened to you two? Why did you lose your special friend? I said, ah, split up. He said why. I said, I don't know.
I wanted to see things and miss people, but I found nothing. These are the only memories in my mind. I bought you a lot of messy things, such as mobile phone chains, key chains, water cups, wallets, belts, towels, hot water bottles, and even facial cleanser, shower gel and soap. I like visiting small jewelry stores. I want to buy lovers' things when I see them. I think your desk must be full of things I gave you. Are they still there? There must be no photo of us in your wallet, or you changed your wallet. Cell phone chain, key chain, maybe you threw them all away.
You gave me nothing but a big bear when you chased me. It's still on my bed, covered with my tears. I don't want you to buy me clothes and shoes. Sometimes a simple thing makes me happy. I know that boys are careless and don't care about those little things.
But after the separation, I found that I had nothing to remember, something that left your mark in my life.
In the future, I can no longer walk around campus holding your hand, holding your arm as a coquetry, letting you carry me on your back, listening to you call me a silly girl, putting my hand in your clothes pocket, parading around the city dressed as a couple, stealing chopsticks in the canteen together, drinking a bottle of water and eating a bowl of noodles with you, leaning your head on your shoulder, and yelling at my husband when coquetry. I can't kiss you when I say goodbye, I can't answer your phone before going to bed, I can't let you wipe your tears, I can't eat lean meat while eating fat meat, I can't log in to your QQ to steal vegetables, I can't drag you to take selfies with you, and I have no right to be angry with you.
Do you feel a little sad and unaccustomed when you think about this?
I won't bother you to play games, I won't play coquetry with you, I won't lose my temper with you, I won't be jealous of you, I won't care if you play games all night, I won't complain that you don't accompany me, so you won't be very tired, will you?
I feel so sad to write this.
Memory is a tormenting thing.
In these seven days, I have seen you four times, without saying hello, without communication and without anything. Sometimes I wonder if I should smile.
Look, you're still wearing my favorite T-shirt and my worst shoes. You still pay attention to NBA, World Cup and DOTA, as if nothing has changed in your life.
As for me, I cry a lot, don't eat on time, and suffer from insomnia. Your mobile phone is tossed and turned, and I can't press it.
Friends around me said, it's okay. I'd better treat you as my sister-in-law.
They greeted me warmly when they saw me, but you disappeared from my world.
The final exam is coming. Before that, I said I would review with you. You said yes. We made many promises, but many of them were not fulfilled.
You said you would take me to see your family during the summer vacation. You said you told your family that you found a girlfriend, tall and beautiful, and she was very kind to you. You said you would take me to meet your best friend who is now a soldier. You said you would take me to Dalian during the summer vacation.
People around us say that we are model couples. You can pick me up after class in rainy days and jump out of bed at night to take me to the doctor. I can knit a scarf for you all night, copy a lot of recipes online to cook for you, help you organize your study materials until your eyes hurt, and help you copy a lot of notes. I show you clothes and shoes games on Taobao every day.
That's it. You still don't want me.
Accustomed to your life, I regard you as my family.
I think of you every day when I open my eyes. I don't know if you got up, had breakfast, had another fight, smoked a cigarette and thought of me.
I have begun to adjust, I began to read books, began to eat by myself, and began to try to adapt to life without you.
I met our mutual friend the day before yesterday. He didn't know we broke up. He said let's get together one day. It will be a holiday. I said we split up. He said, C, when did this happen? I said just these days. He said, what does the child want? I said maybe I was too bored and had a bad temper. He said, isn't that what people do? What woman doesn't? Is he seeing someone else? I said, no, I believe him.
I believe you are single-minded, even if there are many beautiful women around you, even if you always like to mess with little girls, even if you always mention other girls to me, even if they are better than me, even if I am always jealous. But I still trust you and won't like others.
You said you could find something better on my terms, and you set me free. Release yourself.
Now that we are all free, this is the freedom you want.
Our story, from my point of view, some people will say that such a boy is not worth it. But from another angle, everyone will say that such a girlfriend has long been separated.
Every girl who has a boyfriend who plays games has been faced with a busy avatar and a constant automatic reply, which has never been understood. What's that feeling? It talked for a long time, only got an automatic reply, waiting for the next sentence until I forgot the last one, staring at his hair, waiting for him to cut back to the desktop, but afraid to say it, but afraid to disturb it.
Get used to it and understand it.
I slowly have fun by myself. I watched it on Taobao when he was playing games. When I get used to it, you're gone.
Maybe many couples are like us. Cherish it. Some people will stop once they miss it. It's impossible to get back together Let's take it as a memory
Tears are almost dry these days.
I went to class in the afternoon. He should be in the classroom opposite me. I know, he certainly didn't come to class, didn't play games in the dormitory, and didn't play on the court.
He always said that he should study hard, and I supported him. However, I still can't wait to study with him, read books together and listen to music with an earphone.
Everyone in his class knows me. After class, I watched those familiar people pass by me with sympathy or doubt in my eyes. They must be thinking, why did they split up?
Are you in a good mood now? Did you eat well? Did you go out without your key? Are you forgetful? I'm not here to remind you. Do you think anything is missing?
Do you like playing games recently? I heard from your friend that you play dota in the dormitory every day, and it's a day.
Me too. It's only been a day since I visited Taobao, but I still can't change the messy things you said, such as couple jewelry and couple clothes. Seeing beautiful clothes, I think it suits you very well.
We used to go out to play, go for a spring outing, go to the movies, eat, go to the park, sing and go shopping every Saturday and Sunday. What I look forward to most is that every weekend, I start looking forward to the next weekend on Sunday night and spend every day in happiness and expectation.
A few weekends before we parted, we went out to play together, and you bought me jubilant balloons. I hold your hand with it and feel very happy. Now you have confiscated them all.
I know you are online, QQ is there, and the school is there, but I can't see it. I beat around the bush to ask others about your current situation, which is an answer. I play games every day.
We used to love each other, and it hurts to think about it.
I remember last winter, there was a heavy snow, and you accompanied me to class. We don't want to go if we walk, so we will have a snowball fight in front of the building. You walk in the snow, print your outline, and write my name on your heart with your finger. I drew a big heart in the snow. The outline existed for several days before it was blurred by the wind.
Once your dormitory went to KTV to sing, and everyone drank a lot of wine. A person in your dormitory got into a fight with someone else. In the confusion, you didn't tell me who scratched your arm. When I saw the wound, you said it was a fight. My tears came down. I said, why didn't you tell me? You said to tell you why, and then worry. Listen, there's nothing to cry about. Then you put me in your arms.
I wrote this paragraph calmly. I thought I could tell such a story with a straight face, but now I find my face is wet.
I always like to think about the future. I think I can graduate from college with you. I think two years is actually very fast, and we can spend it calmly. I think I can find a job that is neither salty nor light. You don't have to earn a lot of money, and you don't have to attend many social parties. Come home from work early, and I'll cook dinner for you. Petty bourgeoisie when you have money, and instant noodles with you when you have no money.
I told you my ideal, and you touched my head and called me stupid. How can I let you suffer with me? If you can't have a good life with me, I'll let you go.
My birthday is in winter, which is very close to Christmas. You said daughter-in-law, let's spend birthday and Christmas together. I said yes. Call me at night and say, daughter-in-law, come downstairs. I got dressed and ran downstairs. Winter in the northeast is very cold. I didn't see you. I was about to call you when I heard someone calling my name in the distance. I walked over and fireworks bloomed in the night sky. You shout, wife, happy birthday. You know, there were a lot of people coming and going at that time. I ran to you and you welcomed me with open hands. I thought I recognized you then.
At that time, you must still love me I believe.
Girls in love have such a common problem that they always feel that boys will notice their unhappiness. If he feels angry, he will feel it at the first time. If he feels unhappy, he must know the reason. But sometimes they don't feel it at all. They don't have our sensitive nerves.
You are angry at his words, and you have been sulking for a long time, waiting for him to coax you, but maybe in the end he doesn't know what he said wrong at all. So now I understand that communication must be the most important. You are angry, you ignore him, and you cry, which will only make him feel unreasonable. You think he can understand, you think he can understand, but in their eyes, they will only feel ignorant. If you don't say something, they will never know.
I once joked with you that I could collect all the tears I shed for you with a big bottle.
Until now, I am still crying for you.
At a departmental activity, I wore a pair of 10 cm high heels, as high as you. You said daughter-in-law, you obviously put pressure on me. I went over and said, then I'll find a taller one. I stood in high heels all day, and my feet hurt. You say daughter-in-law, I will carry you. Then you carry me back to the dormitory. I asked you if I was heavy, and you said why not. Do you have 150? I hit your head with my head. I said again, am I heavy? You said no, my daughter-in-law has no weight at all. This sentence happened to be heard by your classmates passing by. They laughed at you all night after you went back to the dormitory. Later, every time they saw me, they asked me, sister-in-law, are you still weightless?
Girls may feel fat. I always yell to lose weight. I gained a lot of weight during my stay with you. I said it was all your fault. I was fattened. You said it was better this way. If you become a fat girl, I can have you. Nobody wants you. I haven't eaten well these days and lost a little weight. I want to be as thin as I want, but I want you to put all the delicious food in my bowl again and let me eat more.
When I was with you, I was particularly nervous when you took me to meet your buddy for the first time. Before I went out that day, I changed several clothes and chose between a row of shoes. Should I be a lady or lively, mature or cute? I keep asking you, and you're tired of asking. You can wear anything you say, so you don't care so much.
I don't know what to say when I eat with them. I talk a lot, for fear that they will find me annoying and silent, for fear that they will find me difficult to approach.
After dinner, I kept asking you about their reaction and whether they were satisfied with me.
Say my daughter-in-law is satisfied with me, no matter what they do.
Later, I got acquainted with them. One of your buddies said that I gave them a good impression that day and felt very gentle and sensible, but I still didn't pretend. I am a special freshman, and I think I have given you a long face.
This post is written here, recalling many happy times.
I was so happy at that time, and it hurt after separation.
I learned a lot for you, because you fell in love with cooking and watching basketball. I only knew Yao Ming before, and I paid attention to sports news for you and watched the World Cup for you.
From you, I have paid a lot and got a lot.
You said, after separation, it is better.
You too. I really don't want to say this selfishly. I don't want to see you happier after you leave. I always thought it should be two people, you and me, to be happy.
But now, I have to say, I wish you happiness
Goodbye, my love, the love of my life.
And the future you have planned can only be remembered.
Goodbye, my love, please forgive me for not being honest with you.
I can't let it go, but I must let it go before I feel sad.
Wadda'tu Hubbak