1. If I don't beat you, I will turn against you. A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver. No one who doesn't know him has ever eaten pork.

Little girl, give your uncle a smile. If you don't laugh, uncle will give you a smile ~5. What's your name? Stop it! Saying it is a curse! 6. Jumping off a building will kill more cocaine. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang! 7. Are you sick? ! Do you have any medicine? ! How much do you want? ! I'll eat as much as you want! ! ! 8. If you are willing to die, I am willing to bury. 9. Huh? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

10. People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good deeds, but ghosts and gods never know. We are too embarrassed for ghosts and gods. 1 1. Go your own way and say who you want. 12. deserved it ~ ~ died ~ ~.

2. Degang Guo's classic sentence is: What did you write? Guo: When the tortoise is not angry, it will be as happy as the East China Sea. He wears a green hat and has money, so he will live longer than Nanshan.

Y: What about the horizontal batch? Guo: Ninja Turtles! Y: Fuck you! Degang Guo's Quotations: He scolds me, I take a step back, he scolds me again, I take a step back, there is a wall behind me, he still scolds me, fight! ! ~ ~ Degang Guo's quotation: "There are good news and bad news. Which one do you listen to? " "What's the bad news?" "We are lost. I don't know this place. It is estimated that we can only live by cow dung in the future. " "What's the good news?" "Cow dung have a plenty of! ! "Degang Guo's Quotations: How dare you join the Beggars' Sect! Dressed up very well! Degang Guo's Quotations: The house we live in is riddled with holes. It is fatal when it rains: it rains outside the rain house, and it rains outside the rain house. Sometimes it rains so hard that the whole family goes out to take shelter from the rain. Degang Guo's Quotations: Six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you one hundred dollars first! Quotations from Degang Guo: You don't even like Zhajiang Noodles? You forgot your roots! ! ! Degang Guo's Quotations: I have been an artist for more than a week. Degang Guo's Quotations: Spend 200 yuan to buy a pig, squeak water, pouty beans, throw it over the wall, squeak, and guess what ~ ~ ~ dead! Degang Guo said: The old vine is a faint crow, and the small bridge is flowing.

Degang Guo, who was heartbroken, said in the hospital: The wild animals in the mountains are in the clouds, the cattle and sheep on the land are fresh at the bottom of the sea, the monkeys have bird's nest shark wings, and the paws have scallops and deer's tail tips! Throw away your cheeks and open your back teeth. Food is like the flowing water of the Yangtze River, like wind and clouds, like dumping dirt in a box ... Degang Guo said: A horse with thin hair and fat hooves is not a thief when its son steals its father.

The blind uncle married the blind grandmother, and the old couple spent most of their lives without seeing anyone. Degang Guo said: Some people say that they should abandon the traditional cross talk, which is worth 1,400 mouths! Degang Guo said: Jing Li, the little leader of Beijing School, is performing for you ... Degang Guo said: Don't leave after the party. I'll treat you to dinner, and whoever goes will pay.

Degang Guo said: Crosstalk pays attention to four lessons: pit, deception, abduction and deception! Degang Guo's Quotations: Go your own way and say what you want to say. Degang Guo's Quotation: Take a catty of watermelon and weigh it on time.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Scientists know martial arts, but immortals can't stop it. Degang Guo's Quotations: People who don't know him have never eaten pork.

Degang Guo's Quotations: I haven't eaten for days, and everyone looks like pancakes. Quotations from Degang Guo: The story told today is not far from now. If you have old people at home, you can go back and ask, during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period ... Degang Guo's Quotations: I will buy 50 good cars-Alto, Alto, Alto ...! Get up with a dart and drive like a train! Degang Guo's Quotations: One elder was very successful and robbed 1.83 million in cash. At 5: 40 pm, when voting. The ice has arrived, and it is still blocking the North Third Ring Road.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock, only the security lock of the bank. He can pry it open with celery. Degang Guo's Quotations: We got lost on the way. He took out a bunch of instruments and pointed to the needles in the southeast, northwest and northwest ... I said you were all behind, so we had to adopt advanced methods and throw shoes.

Quotations from Degang Guo: I have been a primary school student for ten years and a middle school student for twelve years. I was named the most familiar face in the school. The new teacher came and asked me the inside story of my school ... Degang Guo's quotation: I ordered shark's fin fried rice, but I couldn't find shark's fin in three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin. Quotations from Degang Guo: Give me 40 steamed buns, 80 Jin pancakes, and fry two copies of this recipe? There are many ways to commit suicide, which is terrible.

Degang Guo's Quotations: The old man is in good health, but his mouth is full of teeth, only one tooth is left. When he eats, his teeth are blocked ... He eats lotus roots. Degang Guo's Quotations: Tian Er flew up, ran down the road with his head down and left. He picked up his head and had a little contest with this stone ... Tian Er lost.

Degang's quotation: jump off a building and kill more coke. I studied it. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang! Quotations from Hi-tech Degang Guo: Don't hit him or scold him. You just want money, so we can discuss it. But to put it bluntly, more than 100 yuan can kill the ticket.

Degang Guo's Quotations: Be quiet, be disconsolate, and sing at night. Riding a mule harms others, is honest and fair, and is hungry.

Building bridges and roads is blind, and there are many people who kill and set fires. I went to the Western Heaven to ask my Buddha, who said I was helpless.

Degang Guo's Quotations: You know my appetite, especially I don't like roast duck. After four, I can't eat any more. I can't eat cake after cake ... I really can't eat it. I have to eat when I get home later. Degang Guo's Quotations: There are four dishes on the table. Open the first one, ha! Very good! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the second one, even better! Old vinegar peanuts! Open the third one, peanuts, no vinegar! The fourth one looks like a plate of vinegar! Degang Guo's Quotations: A job can earn 300,000 yuan ... If you look at the drawings, a 40-meter chimney will be built. When people came to see it, they beat me up, but the drawings were turned upside down and I was asked to dig wells.

Degang Guo's Quotations: There is a frying pan under the Cao Yin Hall, and the kids take it from the dead with steel forks. One person goes down, two people go down and fry together, and some fry into squares ... (oil cake fritters? Degang Guo's Quotations: People all have plasma TVs, so I have one, and I found a friend to keep it. As big as a wall, Motorola brand … looks empty, and the TV rings: the TV you are watching is not in the service area … what's the point? This 300 yuan is not wasted.

Degang Guo's Quotations: He is very rich and drives a 13 Cadillac. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", (triple jump? There is only one driver in the front row, and the steering wheel is different from others. It is usually round. He is made of pure silver, long and bent at both ends.

Oh, three jumps. At first, half of Beijing was smoking black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, take away the divine power."

Degang Guo's Quotations: Do you have a two-foot lobster? Sorry, there is nothing two feet long, only two feet two. What stupid restaurant doesn't even have a two-foot lobster? Eat a plate of shredded potatoes. Degang Guo's Quotations: Do they have a family style? If you don't pick things up in the aisle, you'll lose them.

..... Degang Guo's Quotations: You look very * *, quite.

It is said that there are three kinds of birds, filial birds, evil birds and poisonous birds. I seem to have heard Degang Guo's cross talk, and I know the specific cross talk content should be, unlike those classical Chinese copied online, I can't understand it at all. This is easy to understand, so I recommend it.

Legend has it that there are three kinds of birds:

Filial piety birds, crows, crows feed back, lambs kneel to eat milk, little crows are born, old crows feed them, and he grows up.

Now, the old crow can't move. The little crow goes out to find food and feed her mother. This is called crow feeding back. this is

Filial piety bird

The bad bird, the owl, turned and ate its mother as soon as it was born, and occupied its nest in order to finish eating. this is

Bad bird.

Poisonous birds, poisonous birds are divided into male and female, and male birds are called owls. We said to drink zhenniao to quench our thirst. In the Sui Dynasty, Yang Guangzhen made a plan for Brother Bird.

Sister-in-law, zhenniao refers to this kind of bird, which landed on the tree. Everyone catches sparrows and all kinds of birds and throws them on the ground. Look at that.

Seeing that the bird feels delicious, it eats meat, drools when eating, and flows onto the wood when flowing. Put this piece on it.

Saw the wood, dry it in the sun, and grind it into powder. This is called zhenniao. If you drink it in wine, you will die. This is called zhenniao.

Male bird.

This is called a bustard. It is said that this kind of bird is the most poisonous, and you can't be a pimp without poison.

From Degang Guo's cross talk "On Color"

I hope I can help you!