Promote a collection of humorous jokes in Mandarin

People who can tell jokes are people with a sense of humor. People with a sense of humor are less likely to suffer from depression. Come down and take a look at the collection of humorous jokes I have collected to promote Mandarin humor and see your humor index!

Promotion of Mandarin humorous jokes 1

1. Mustard

One day, while having dinner with the leaders of the local Youth League and Municipal Committee, one of them was addicted to mustard. He quickly finished the small plate in front of him and waved to the waiter.

The waiter walked to him diligently and bent down to wait for instructions. However, the leader had a heavy accent, so the following conversation took place.

Leader: Miss, some mustard.

The waiter was stunned: Program? What program?

Leader: It’s the kind of porn~

The waiter was stunned: We don’t have pornographic programs here.

The leader was anxious and gestured with his hands and feet: Why not! It’s that exciting!

2. Buy taro

Do I want---- ---The story of the People's Liberation Army buying taro.

One day, a woman selling taro asked the People's Liberation Army: Do I (yam) want it?

The People's Liberation Army was puzzled and replied: What do I want you to do?

The woman blushed And said angrily: You short-lived boy, you are so perverted.

It turns out that women hear what they are doing as obscene words (Luoyuan dialect: Gasha means abnormal relations between men and women, adultery, etc. For example: the most popular saying in Luoyuan: Do you want to have sex with Huang Mu? Empress Gasha)

3. Washing feet

Two brothers were getting ready to go to bed at night. They wanted to wash their feet before going to bed, so they brought a basin of water for washing their feet.

The older brother said to his younger brother: Brother, you die first, and after you die I will die (?wash? is pronounced as death in Luoyuan dialect)...

4. Selling noodles

A man from Luoyuan who sells noodles one day met an outsider who came to buy noodles.

As soon as this foreigner arrived at the noodle stall, he turned over the noodles randomly. The noodle seller was very worried because the noodles were as thin as a hair and could not be turned over. Once turned over, the noodles would become messy and difficult to sell. .

So he quickly pushed the outsider’s hand away and said: ?I don’t want you? Mom?, I don’t want you? Mom? (? Mom? in Luo Yuan dialect means to catch or take, sell. When I was in a hurry, I started speaking Fuzhou dialect and Mandarin together!). ?

The outsiders couldn’t understand for a while and were still flipping through the pages. The noodle seller said again: “I don’t want you, mom,” I don’t want you, mom. You, mom, are not good for me, mom. Okay, your mother is in a mess, my mother is in a mess!?

The outsider understands now, and slaps her in anger!

5 , Bisuo

People in Luoyuan often speak Mandarin with a strong accent. For example, they pronounce "Lai" as "Nai" and "Game" as "Bisui", so there is such a joke.

During the Dragon Boat Festival, a dragon boat race was held, and a leader from Luoyuan County issued a pre-game mobilization statement.

He said: Today, all the comrades in area A have breasts, which is very good! Some comrades in area B have breasts and some don’t. Please pay attention to this in the future!

This Secondly, when we sleep in areas A and B, first men sleep with men, then women sleep with women, and finally men sleep with women?

We want to sleep out Style and sleep well.

I had a good sleep this time, we will go to the province to sleep, and in the future we will go to sleep internationally

Before I finished speaking, everyone was laughing?

Promotion of Mandarin Humorous Jokes 2

1. A mayor from other places came to the city for inspection. After the banquet in the evening, we chatted in the hotel. When introducing the customs and customs, the city officials said this: ?Standing in front of the bed and looking at my beloved wife, the more I look at her, the more beautiful she becomes. ?Everyone who comes is surprised. In fact, the original meaning of this sentence is: Standing in front of the window and looking at the suburbs, the more you look at it, the more beautiful it becomes. ?

2. When locals went out of town and wanted to eat at a roadside stall, they asked the middle-aged woman selling wontons: "How much does it cost to sleep for one night?" The middle-aged man was so angry. The sister-in-law scolded him for being obscene. He himself was still confused. How could he get scolded for asking how much a bowl of dumplings cost? Is it not allowed to ask here? (In Chaoshan dialect, no matter what kind of wontons, dumplings are collectively called dumplings.

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3. Out-of-towners also came to inspect. There was a local specialty at the banquet, which was a pastry made of hawthorn. In order to show his enthusiasm, the host always recommended this food to guests from out of town. Said: "This is delicious. Eat it first and it will be bad first!" (Crazy, the hawthorn cake has become bad first, who dares to eat it?)

4. A foreign guy meets his girlfriend for the first time When a woman is a guest at home, her parents will warmly entertain her. The most common way for Chaoshan people to entertain guests is to make a cup of Chaoshan Gongfu tea, which is the best way to treat guests. The knowledge of hospitality is all in this tea. The girlfriend's mother enthusiastically asked the young man to drink tea and said: "Eat quickly and get out after eating." ? The scared young man sweated profusely, thinking that they didn't like him! (In fact, in Chaoshan dialect, boiling water is called "boiling water". Therefore, the meaning of the above sentence is to let him be rude and restrained, drink After the water is boiled, it can be brewed again. It is directly converted into Mandarin and it becomes like this)

5: A Chaozhou man very enthusiastically invited a friend from other places to eat watermelon and said. Such shocking words. ?Let's eat watermelon, you come and eat poop (big side) and I'll eat pee (small side)?.

6: In the past, Chaozhou people rarely spoke Mandarin, so overseas Chinese donated money to build schools. The leader delivered a speech at the completion ceremony of the school: ?Warmly welcome, overseas red envelopes, Hong Kong and Macao red envelopes, money comes and I smile------?Translation: Warmly welcome, overseas compatriots, Hong Kong and Macao compatriots, come to our school.

7: A foreigner came to a family to collect payment, but the husband was not at home, so he told his wife to just give the money to them. Remember to ask them to count it and write a receipt. So, after the lovely woman gave the money to someone, she said: "Comrade, please smile!" ("Laugh" is the trendy sound of "Shu".)

8: A woman in the village Selling orange cane on the roadside. One day, a migrant worker bought a piece from her. After peeling it off, she wanted to hand it to him and collect the money.

So, the lovely woman said: "Give me your money and I will marry you!" ("marry" is the Chaozhou pronunciation of "cane")

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