In Rushan, new wives pay attention to a lot, especially the first visit of the woman's relatives, which is very grand. (If engaged, the man's family will give the woman "money", which is usually 100 1 yuan or 100 1 yuan, meaning one thousandth and one millionth. )
Judging from what you said, although your future mother-in-law followed the etiquette, she only mixed a pepper, which didn't seem so important. I think it may be the following reasons:
1. If it's not time to eat, eat some noodles first.
2. There is a lot of work in the fields in autumn, and there is no time to cook too many dishes (if their home is in the countryside);
3. Your boyfriend has brought back too many "girlfriends", and your future mother-in-law is used to it (this is a little mean and sinful);
4. Your future mother-in-law is not very rich;
The relationship between you and your boyfriend is uncertain, so it is not suitable for excessive entertainment.
Your future mother-in-law doesn't like your future wife.
The following information is extracted from Rushan City Records. Although some customs are no longer talked about, we can see that Rushan people attach importance to marriage for your reference:
Rushan marriage custom
Marriage customs always have a political and economic background. It used to be a sedan chair and a bicycle belt. Now it's a float and a camera. In the future, it will be "going to the moon for nine days and catching turtles in five oceans." Therefore, the more developed the society, the faster the evolution of marriage customs. Before the founding of the People's Republic of China, marriage between men and women depended entirely on parents' orders, matchmakers' words, and attention was paid to the right match. Men and women are not allowed to meet before marriage, which is known as "marry a chicken with a chicken and marry a dog with a dog". When a woman marries, she must be loyal to her husband, and her husband can't remarry when he dies; A man can marry a concubine and continue to marry after his wife dies. Marriage forms are quite different, such as abdominal marriage, foster marriage, child marriage, exchange marriage, cousin marriage, snatch marriage and so on. All these marriage customs have ruined many happy marriages. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, with the advocacy of the government and the promulgation and implementation of the marriage law, young people of marriageable age gradually have the freedom to fall in love. In the mid-1950s, from the time soldiers were awarded ranks to the "Cultural Revolution" in the 1960s, the criteria for women's mate selection were "one officer, two political cadres, three workers and four teachers, and they could not marry a plowman again". During the "Cultural Revolution", military wives were also the most glorious. After the 1970s, the concept of mate selection for men and women began to become complicated, and factors such as appearance, culture, occupation and economic conditions became the criteria for mate selection. Whether it is free love or the consent of the matchmaker, young people in Rushan have to go through the procedures of talking about marriage, blind date, engagement, looking forward to going home, choosing a date, giving a bride price and moving boxes before getting married.
Proposal: The family meeting will discuss the possibility of getting married. If this is omitted, the elders at home will say that the house to be married is arrogant.
Blind date: arranged by the matchmaker, who comes forward to agree on the appropriate time and place for men and women to meet; If you are in love, you have to find a "matchmaker" to get through this difficulty. The purpose is to let relatives and friends of both sides have a look and help the staff to consult and check. Relatives and friends who go together are commonly known as "body double Eye".
Engagement: If both men and women and relatives and friends have no objection, the matchmaker will propose to the woman on behalf of the man. If the woman agrees, the marriage is settled. You can't go back on your word after your engagement, which is very condemned by public opinion in the local area.
Looking forward to home: also known as climbing home, looking at home or "looking at the ground" The future daughter-in-law, accompanied by the matchmaker, paid her first official visit to her in-laws. On this day, the husband's family solemnly received the future daughter-in-law and matchmaker, and relatives and friends gathered together, and the banquet was as rich as possible. In the future, the daughter-in-law will attend the banquet, and the banquet will generally not drink; Men's banquets try to persuade wine and strive for a lively atmosphere. When the daughter-in-law goes back, the mother-in-law will send clothes and other items. This is called "reminiscence".
Choose a good day: also called auspicious day. Find a person who can choose the date and choose the wedding date according to the birth date of the bride and groom. People believe that the wedding day will be good, so they attach great importance to the choice of auspicious day. If there is no suitable day, I would rather postpone the wedding than act rashly. Those who are eager to get married but have no suitable day can get married in the Spring Festival. This day is called "Rice Day" because the whole world will celebrate this day, and the return of spring will depend on good luck. It is the man's business to choose a good day, but he has to send someone to ask the woman for advice. If the woman doesn't agree, she must make another choice until the woman agrees.
Bridal gift: also known as "handing out red" or giving a bride price. After the wedding date is fixed, the groom-to-be is accompanied by a matchmaker to the woman's house to ask for a dowry. Dowry includes cash, clothes, quilt cover, etc. Quantity is constantly changing with the economic situation of the times.
Moving boxes: Three days before the wedding, the man's brother went to the woman's house to get the dowry. You should be extremely careful whether you push it by car or pull it by tractor or car. Boxes, bedding, wedding cakes, big mirrors, tea sets and other things must be intact, and it is unlucky to be damaged. The dowry moved back will be sent directly to the new house for display.
After everything is ready before marriage, the wedding begins. The wedding includes three parts: getting married, unpacking and expecting.
Marriage: The night before, the groom went to meet the bride. The moment you leave home, it's called "sitting in a sedan chair". After sunset, the groom will enter the bride's house. Relatives and friends of the woman's family came to celebrate together. The woman's family holds a wedding banquet to entertain her son-in-law and relatives and friends. The next morning, there was a wedding reception attended by relatives and friends. This time, the son-in-law took the first table in the woman's house. In the future, like his son, he can only be a waiter when he has guests.
After breakfast the next day, the bride and groom exchange souvenirs, usually new handkerchiefs, which are pure and beautiful. You must leave immediately after you exchange your tokens. The mother of the bride will not come out to see her daughter off, but will sit on the kang and pray for her daughter. The bride's uncle, uncle or brother accompanied the bride and groom and called "seeing them off". The person who sees off the guests should choose someone who has children on both sides, is healthy and lucky, so as to send good luck to a couple. If there are many married women in this village, it is better to leave early. As a saying goes, take the lead. The moment the bride leaves the boudoir is called getting on the sedan chair. After getting on the sedan chair, the bride can only look forward, not back. It means that marriage is long and there is no turning back. If the groom meets an acquaintance on the road, he can only nod and not talk. The homonym "Hua" is extended to "loss", and many words will lose their meaning. At this time, the man's house is full of wedding couplets, happy words are all over the street, firecrackers are hung high, and relatives and friends are waiting at the door to prepare for the bride.
The bride and her party arrived, and according to the division of labor in advance, there were aunts to pick up the bride. In some villages, there is a saying that "the aunt does not send it, but the aunt does not welcome it", that is, the woman's aunt does not participate in sending her niece to the sedan chair, and the man's aunt does not participate in welcoming her niece to the sedan chair. The person who picks up the bride will send the bride to the new house; Pick up "Fujian" and lead the guests into the living room. At the same time, firecrackers exploded to create a festive atmosphere.
The wedding reception begins at noon. The bride enters the banquet; The groom didn't come to the table, but served tea and water. The seating arrangement is very particular. It is the first table that sees the guests off. If many people see them off, they have to sit at every table. Then friends are older, and friends of family try to arrange seats. Collateral relatives are uncle, uncle and uncle in turn. Direct members, whether grandpa, dad, uncle or uncle, are all service groups. Even if there are seats, there are no seats. There are many rules when eating, so we should be careful not to break the tableware. The condiments and garlic on the table should be renamed as "Yihe cuisine" and the vinegar should be renamed as "taboo". The climax of the banquet is that when the fish is served, the accompanying staff should do everything possible to make the guests drink more. Drunk homophonic "most", the best meaning. Guests often say "the fish is on the table and I am under the table", which means that if you don't eat fish, you will get drunk under the table. When eating, everyone at the same table wants to eat rice and noodles. Don't just eat one thing, this is called "soup and rice, children and children have it". I wish the bride and groom a complete family in the future.
After the banquet, the guests of the bride's family should have a look at the new house so that they can report. This is called "going to a small banquet". A small banquet is a decoration and a process. It's just a symbolic table of tables and drinks. When going to a small banquet, the delivery person should say some kind words to her parents-in-law on behalf of the bride's parents. For example, "My daughter is all thumbs and can't do housework, so please be a parent-in-law in the future". The groom's family should prepare snacks for the guests to show their gratitude. It is impolite to forget. The wedding reception officially ended when the people who sent the guests away.
At night, there is a custom of making trouble in the bridal chamber, and the villagers try their best to play tricks on the bride and groom. Influenced by the concept that elder brothers are like fathers, the "big brothers" of the same generation do not joke with their sisters-in-law or make trouble in the bridal chamber; "Brother-in-law" is "uncle and sister-in-law", which is the main force to make trouble in the bridal chamber. This bad habit was later phased out.
Unpacking: On the third day of marriage, the bride's father, brother and younger brother went to the man's house. Open the boxes that were moved before marriage. At this time, the husband's family can distribute the wedding cake brought by the woman to relatives and neighbors. The scale of the banquet on this day is smaller than that on the wedding day. Generally, the man's family and the people at the wedding banquet can't attend because of things. Some people simplify the unpacking procedure, and the person who unpacks the box on the wedding day comes with the bride and groom, which is called "following the red" or "being red that day".
Zhan Jiu: Because this is the fourth day of a happy event, it is also called "Zhan Si Xi". The bride and groom should go to the bride's house together to visit her parents and relatives. The first intention is that the groom came to thank his parents-in-law for marrying a good girl who worked hard to raise. Second, the bride and groom should make a statement and show their determination to stick to this marriage forever. This is just a formality, and few couples can really say things according to the rules.
In addition, at the beginning of the 20th century, there was no such thing as marriage registration. Just find someone who can write, write the birthdays of both parties on a piece of red paper and stick them on the cabinet door of the new house. This is a "legal document". It has no seal or signature, but it is more important than Mount Tai, so the two sides will be together forever. In the middle and late last century, form was also greater than law. A wedding is held, and even if it is not registered, the people are regarded as "legal" couples; If you just want to live together without a wedding, it is absolutely impossible. There is no public marriage in the form of a wedding, and the villagers in the village do not recognize its "legitimacy." At that time, many people got married first and then registered. Even if they registered, they didn't pay attention to the marriage certificate. Most people hang marriage certificates on the walls of new houses as decorative paintings. Therefore, people in their forties and fifties in Rushan don't have a marriage certificate, because at that time, they posted a photo on the wall.