1. Serve tea and pour water
As a standard lion man, although he is not a statue of the Ninth Five-Year Plan, people really put themselves in the position of being served but not serving others, even such a trivial matter as serving tea and pouring water is no exception. When I accidentally asked him to bring me water to drink, he almost refused without hesitation. Sometimes when you are in a good mood, people will not refute your face, and they will give you water thoughtfully, but the problem is coming. When you want to enjoy happiness, sweetness and a sense of accomplishment, people will turn a corner, take off the water sent to your mouth, and then pour it on your proud head and send it to your mouth.
After being teased, you have to wait for revenge. Once after dinner, he asked me to hand him the paper, and I followed him to his mouth, then brought it back to wipe my mouth proudly and handed it to him with a contemptuous face. Look at his stupefied expression. When I was feeling smug, the goods actually picked up the paper, brushed it and tore it in half, threw away half, and wiped the mouth with the other half. When I was surprised and puzzled, people gave you a slightly oblique look out of the corner of their eyes, leaving a relaxed and contemptuous sentence, which was too dirty for you. Look at his face, proud to the bone marrow. I really admit defeat. I can't wait to kneel down and shout "Long live the holy family! Long live the holy family! " And at the same time, give him two Tathagata palms to relieve my hatred.
Postscript: Under my meticulous care, this product will provide me with lukewarm water at any time, and will naturally serve me, and will also soak me in brown sugar water at special times. Ai Jia is very satisfied with this. Really a good boy to teach.
Learn pronunciation
This commodity didn't learn Chinese well in primary school, and its pronunciation was inaccurate, especially zcs, zh, chi and shi. One day, he solemnly said to me, wife, I will give you a task to help me correct my pronunciation. Your husband will be interviewed in the future. I said, well, honey, you said I love you. He went on to say I love you. I said, well, I ~ love you ~ say it again ~ he did it. I said, well, it's good. I practiced 100 times. He: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you ... I smiled. He was angry when he found out that he had been cheated and took me for a lion. We bickered at night and he said he despised you. I said I despised you, and he followed me and said I despised you. Then consciously turn on the repeater mode, despise you, despise you, despise you ... I gave him a hard stare, that's enough! This need not be repeated so many times! He giggled and gave a bad laugh.
3. tacit understanding
I like playing tricks on him, but I get caught every time. He seems to have installed a monitor in my heart. He sees every bad idea and bad idea of mine clearly.
For a while, my cooking was always terrible. Later, I seriously summed up my own experience, because I didn't know the ingredients and didn't read the recipes, which led to my failure. But it made him lose confidence in me. Once, I asked him if he would like to come to my house for dinner. I swear to the virgin Mary, Jesus Christ and God that I will look at the menu this time. Because I believe in Buddhism, these are not my leaders, and I can't guarantee that I can cook well, so I pretend to be serious and swear casually. Who knows this fellow immediately said that you swore to the Buddha to cook well. Sorry to say, I am in charge of the Buddha. Is it bad to offend my immediate superior? He said he ate scrambled eggs with green peppers and made me swear. I had a brainwave and said, I swear on the green pepper egg that I will cook it well.
Once I lied to him that I stripped for him. He said, I don't read much, so don't lie to me. I said, it's the puppy who lied to you. I thought, lie to you, you are a puppy, ah, ha, ha, ha ~ but this fellow immediately threw me a lie, you are a puppy. I said impatiently, well, I lied to you. I am a puppy. When we met, he asked me to dance. I pretended to have amnesia. Did I say that? Then he wants to check his mobile phone and let me see the chat record. I immediately pulled him over and said, I am a puppy, Wang Wang. He smiled and fell on me.
Later, I asked him if you were surprised that day. He said, I laughed because I knew you would.
praise
Bao Xiao is the kind of person who can't praise others. The way to express his love is to be sarcastic on purpose. And one of my favorite things is that others praise me. I didn't know his character at first, so I was angry because he said irony, and I felt that he didn't like me at all and appreciated me. Later, after learning about his deep-rooted bad habits, I suddenly had a brainwave and decided to turn into an automatic translator when he hurt me.
Me: You praised me.
Bao Xiao: It's really ugly.
Me: Oh ~ ~ ~ I'm really beautiful ~ ~
Bao Xiao: Will you stop being so narcissistic?
Me: Well ~ ~ ~ I know how to love myself.
Bao Xiao: …
5. Kitchen God
Cooking for Bao Xiao for the first time and the second time was very successful, so I was complacent and called myself the kitchen god.
After the third time, the situation is full, and it tastes worse every time. Every time Bao Xiao finishes his meal calmly. Once fried peas, without water, are as bitter as Coptis chinensis. When I was so bitter that I couldn't eat another bite, Bao Xiao ate most of the plate silently, which made me deeply doubt whether he had a tendency to abuse himself. Of course, every time I eat, he will hurt me mercilessly. Once, after he took a bite, he looked up at me and vaguely said five words, "I don't love you anymore." Every time, I can only prevaricate him with the trough of my career.
After the nth time, I finally parted the dark clouds and saw the moon. The cake fried with zucchini is crisp and tender outside, delicious and attractive, and extremely complete, round and colorful, and sells well. After Bao Xiao ate a big piece in one breath, I repeatedly asked, how did it taste? Does it taste good？ Does it taste good？ He still said, "I'm not full." I was overjoyed and ordered him to finish mine. Then, I proudly told him that I finally reached the peak of my career as a chef in out of the dark and the Valley after seeing the rainbow after the storm. He gave me a look and said, will you die if you don't pretend?
see a movie
He took me to see the movie Terminator on Sunday. Then I lamented the hypocrisy of boys with him. In the early days of love, boys always ask their girlfriends for advice when watching movies, and watching movies that their girlfriends want to see is full of gentlemanliness. Before long, I began to choose what I liked to watch, such as action movies and war movies. My girlfriend had no choice but to accompany me. As soon as I became a best friend, I solemnly told her boyfriend that you said we were in love and you showed me unexpected things all day. what do you think? He was happy and said, of course, you have to pretend at first, otherwise, how can girls talk to you? You don't have to pretend when it's cooked.
The next day, send me a WeChat link. September 3-5, hiking in no man's land of Qigan Desert-drifting on the Xilamulun River.
After a while, I said, WeChat sent you an activity, so I thought about it and forget it.
I said, my little body, walking 13 kilometers in hot weather, are you kidding? I guess you have to carry me for a third of the way.
He said, well, I'm naive. But you really should go to the desert once in your lifetime.
I said, yes. Otherwise, I will live up to my reputation as a Saharan mermaid (my nickname). But when the weather is cold, go sightseeing and don't kill yourself.
He said, who would be stupid enough to work hard?
I said, you.
He said there was a professional to lead the way and the route was planned. Do you think you can play by yourself?