In the eyes of many people, marriage and bride price must be similar to each other. If there is no bride price in marriage, the woman's family will feel that the man's family is not sincere enough; Some women also believe that a man does not give himself a bride price, which proves that he does not love himself enough; In the eyes of relatives and friends around, if there is no bride price, they will feel that the woman is eager to marry the man, and most of them will ridicule their parents.

For the bride price, Xiaobei has no intention of putting an end to it. After all, this is a custom that has been going on since ancient times. However, I think the amount of bride price should be determined by reference to the man's family, not by asking for it.

I have a colleague. When he got married, his parents-in-law asked for a bride price of 500 thousand without considering their family's situation. Although this colleague took out the money, he emptied his savings and those of his parents. After marriage, life is very tight every day. Later, because my colleague's wife couldn't stand the lack of water every day, she ran back to her parents' house to make a scene and got back half of the bride price.

This incident made me see the harm of high bride price and almost ruined my colleague's marriage. Maybe someone will ask, since the woman wants so much money, why marry her? Of course, in the face of high bride price, some people can be simple and decisive, and directly sever the marriage relationship with the woman. However, some people have to bow to the current "big background".

In third-and fourth-tier cities and rural areas, many young men can't get married, because the proportion of men and women of marriageable age in China is unbalanced. This phenomenon is particularly serious in rural areas. Most fathers living in rural areas have low academic qualifications and can't stand the deception of some matchmakers. Coupled with the gossip in the neighborhood, they have to bite the bullet and pay a high bride price for their children.

My cousin's brother, my cousin was like this when he got married. He and his sister-in-law met on a blind date. Although he has no culture, he is still good-looking. My cousin fell in love with someone else at first sight and said that he would marry anyone. But the matchmaker said that 200 thousand bride price should be prepared when getting engaged.

200,000 bride price is astronomical for many rural families, not to mention six years ago. At that time, my uncle and aunt borrowed all their relatives in order to get married with their cousins, but in the end they couldn't get enough together. Later, my uncle thought of letting my cousin drop out of school and get engaged early. Someone asked him for a high bride price, and he exchanged his daughter for a "high bride price."

At that time, my cousin had just been admitted to the university, and after learning what her uncle meant, she was very scared. She is afraid of ruining the happiness of her life. Fortunately, my aunt is very kind. She never agrees to exchange my cousin's happiness for mine. She said that even if iron is sold in a pot, it can't delay her daughter from going to school, and she won't base her son's happiness on her daughter's happiness.

Finally, I borrowed all my relatives and friends' homes, sold everything I could at home, and finally got 200 thousand. The marriage after that is engagement, but there are other sayings about marriage. The matchmaker conveyed the meaning of siblings' home to their uncles and aunts, and gave them another 50 thousand yuan when they got married, otherwise they wouldn't get married.

When I got engaged, my family was completely poor, and it took another 50 thousand to get married. Plus the money spent on the wedding, the total of 7788 is at least about 80 thousand. Thinking of this, my uncle and aunt couldn't sleep for days. Finally, my aunt unfortunately fell ill. Cousin is also disappointing, crying for uncle and aunt to chip in.

Later, there was no way out, and uncle went door to door in the village to borrow money. Finally, the money was enough and the marriage was married, but the family owed more than 200,000 foreign debts. After the younger siblings got married, in order not to pay their debts, the day after they got married, they clamored with their cousins to separate from their uncles and aunts. He also said that it is parents' duty to spend money on their sons and wives. The debt owed should not be borne by the young couple, but by my uncle and aunt.

When we split up, half the villagers called my cousin an unfilial son. Because he couldn't stand "public opinion", he took his siblings to work in other places. At that time, the uncle's brothers said nothing, because they couldn't see the young couple doing nothing, so they wouldn't be sad. However, those "heavy" IOUs completely fell on the heads of uncles and aunts.

For the next two years, my uncle and aunt worked hard to make money and pay off their debts every morning. Cousin couldn't hide her uncle and aunt's sufferings, so she kept them from them. After returning home at the end of last year, she gave her 30 thousand yuan to her uncle and aunt. In fact, my cousin is also very grateful that my aunt didn't promise to exchange her for my cousin's marriage. She has met many girls her age, because her younger brother or elder brother ruined her happiness all her life. Since high school, she has been afraid that this fate will fall on her head.

Cousin is very competitive After graduating from college, she was admitted to the editing unit in the town. Although the salary is not high, it is decent to have a job in the countryside. Soon after my cousin worked, many matchmakers came to work as matchmakers for my cousin. Even some relatives who didn't lend money to my uncle and aunt were shy to follow suit.

However, my cousin politely refused those who gave her a matchmaker. Because, when she was an intern in her senior year, she had already met the "Prince Charming" who made her move. My cousin's boyfriend is also from the countryside, but he is an only child. My father is a veteran and my mother is a primary school teacher.

When my cousin told the family the news for the first time, my uncle didn't agree. Because he wanted to find a rich man not far from the local area to marry his cousin when she reached marriageable age. He thought he could make some money through his cousin's marriage. After all, the family still owes a debt!

But my aunt ignored my uncle. She worships my cousin's boyfriend very much. Despite her uncle's objection, she promised her cousin's boyfriend that they would get engaged and get married as long as he treated her cousin wholeheartedly. She asked nothing from his family.

At that time, for this matter, my uncle and aunt both had a cold war. But then my cousin's boyfriend said he could consider working here. After all, my cousin was admitted to the editing unit. My cousin's boyfriend's parents are also very open-minded. They know that my cousin and their son really love each other, so they respect the child's decision.

Soon, the marriage between my cousin and her boyfriend was put on the agenda. The man's parents took hundreds of thousands and bought a two-story building in the town where his cousin worked. They also moved here. According to the truth, my cousin didn't marry far.

My cousin got married with her boyfriend yesterday, so I came back early in the morning. When preparing a dowry for my cousin, I think it is just some ordinary quilt washbasins on weekdays, and there is nothing of value. Although we have the custom of asking for a bride price here, we also have the custom of bringing some expensive dowry when our daughter gets married. Of course, apart from the marriage of cousin and sister-in-law, sister-in-law's family really can't say.

Seeing such a "shabby" dowry, several relatives began to whisper. You said it in one sentence, probably because you think your uncle and aunt are petty. However, everyone who knows it knows that when my cousin got married, he had already impoverished his family.

My cousin got on the wedding car, and my aunt cried and took my cousin's hand and said:

"Girl, my good daughter. I wronged you! When your brother got married, your sister-in-law made our family poor. Now that you are married, will your parents not give you a dowry? "

As soon as my aunt said that, my cousin threw herself into her arms and burst into tears. I was also very moved at that time.

Many people say that rural families 100% marry prostitutes in order to "sell money". Actually, it's not. Some people may have no culture, but they are kind-hearted. They know that their children's happiness is their own happiness, so they don't care.

Bride price is a custom, and it doesn't matter if you don't abandon it. However, we must do what we can!