People in this life, some people envy you, some people hate you, some people envy you, some people look down on you, it doesn't matter, they are all outsiders; Life is like this. Everything you do can't satisfy everyone. We can't lose our nature in order to please others. Just like a friend of mine, Xiao Fang, she is a nice person in the company. Whenever a colleague asks her for help, she always gives her whatever she wants.
But she told me that one day, when I was about to get off work, my colleagues hurriedly asked her for help. She was proud and agreed. I thought there were only a few forms, but I didn't think it was a report. When I finished, it was already ten o'clock in the evening.
This is not the first time. Colleagues all know that they need her help. So no matter how big or small, I go to her, and sometimes even get a courier and copy materials, I go to her.
She said that once she was scolded by her boss for helping her colleagues at work, and she felt that her colleagues would comfort themselves. Unexpectedly, colleagues not only did not talk about her, but also secretly called her stupid.
In fact, Xiao Fang is just a microcosm of many of us. We are eager to be recognized by the people around us, so we try our best to please everyone. As we all know, if you do a lot of humble things, even you will feel inferior. People who benefit from you take everything for granted. Instead of being grateful, they will ask for more.
From then on, Xiao Fang began to reflect on himself. Later, when a colleague asked her for help, she would consider the work situation and would not directly agree. Her work began to be planned and organized, and she was praised by her boss many times. Colleagues began to like chatting with her and invited her to dinner.
In fact, in life, we should not be too good. We can refuse what we don't want to do, and we don't have to force what we can't do. Pretend not to hear if you don't like it. Life is not to please others, but to be kind to yourself. There must be a limit to what you usually do, and there must be a limit to please. Please others moderately, and others will be happy to be friends with you. If you don't know how to refuse, please others blindly, which will only make others look down on you more.
The world is very big, and we will meet many people. There is no need to please everyone, just those who deserve it. Kindness will be rewarded to the right person, and it will hurt yourself to the wrong person.
I also have a best friend Xiao Tian. She is a lively and lovely girl. She just made a boyfriend some time ago and often takes photos of two people online.
Xiao Tian and her boyfriend met while working out. When that boy was tall and handsome, Xiao Tian was fascinated and began to pursue that boy crazily. She can't cook. She heard that boys like home cooking, so she bought a recipe to learn how to cook. She likes spicy food, so she can't give her boyfriend spicy hot pot for several months.
One night, she suddenly cried and said to me, "I'm lovelorn and my boyfriend doesn't want me."
I'm a little surprised. Two days ago, she posted a photo of them having a big meal together in a circle of friends. We broke up only a few days later. I comforted her, but she was still unwilling, feeling that she had paid too much and was constantly changing herself.
In fact, the person who loves you will not ask you to change, because he only loves you now. People who don't love you, no matter how you change and accommodate them, will leave you because they don't love you at all.
We should learn to love life with people who like you and see the world clearly with people who don't like you. Cherish the people who like you and give up the people you don't like, but you will get more. It is better to enrich yourself and improve yourself by pleasing other people's thoughts.
Psychologically speaking, people may not be grateful to those who have helped them, but the feelings they have helped and invested in are all maintained with heart. I watched a program called Love Wars. Both husband and wife are teachers and have a good relationship. After marriage, the couple live with their mother-in-law, whose family conditions are not as good as that of the man, and her mother-in-law looks down on her daughter-in-law.
In order to please her mother-in-law, her wife has done all the housework every day for six years. In order to get her mother-in-law's approval, she didn't give up her job even though she was pregnant and unwell. She also gave her mother-in-law every month's salary, leaving only some living expenses.
We always think that as long as we are kind to others and try our best to meet their demands, we will be loved and recognized by others, but we don't know that you can't wake up a person who is pretending to sleep, nor can you win a sincere treatment by pleasing him. So, don't wronged yourself, don't please others, be kind to yourself and love yourself.
In this way, the mother-in-law is still not satisfied with her. After she gave birth to her daughter, her mother-in-law became more harsh on her. She hates that she gave birth to a girl, scolds her for spending money lavishly, scolds her at home easily, and sometimes even kicks her out directly. Her husband never said a word for her.
After six years of silence, all she got was abuse and insult, and she finally saw the family clearly. She asked her husband for a divorce, and he felt that these were trivial matters and would not divorce. This time, instead of listening to her husband, she moved out with her daughter.
She goes to work during the day, picks up the children after work, and eats out if she doesn't want to cook. Take your daughter to the playground on weekends, buy yourself skin care products and clothes, and enrich yourself with study in your spare time. My life is very nourishing.
The husband saw her change and asked her to go back with him. He was very moved. Unexpectedly, she flatly refused. The husband had no choice but to ask for help.
I remember what Tu Lei said at the scene was particularly good: "You can be moved by your whole-hearted efforts, but not necessarily. The companionship of getting along day and night may produce feelings, but not necessarily love. Don't lose yourself to love. "
In fact, life is such an awakening process. The world unfolds to us layer by layer, and the blurred face will be clear in a moment; We will forgive those who cannot be forgiven at this moment; What is unacceptable at one moment is easy to understand at the next.
Don't compromise yourself to please others. It is most important to be kind to yourself. The most important thing to be kind to yourself is to be humble and love yourself.
It is said that good love should be evenly matched. In fact, good love should be supercilious. You are good, and I am not bad. Because we fell in love together, we formed a family for a beautiful love.
I have always liked the love story between Jiang Yang and Qian Zhongshu. Yangjiangzai
"Our Benevolence" wrote that the first time she met Qian Zhongshu, Qian Zhongshu wore old-fashioned glasses and had fine eyes.
When Qian Zhongshu first met her, he said, "I'm not engaged." Jiang Yang replied, "I don't have a boyfriend." The two began to correspond, and Qian Zhongshu took Jiang Yang to his home. Jiang Yang was polite to Qian Zhongshu's family, and Qian Zhongshu's father was full of praise for Jiang Yang.
This is what love should look like. Love yourself Only those who know how to love themselves will gain true love. I thought there was a saying that when it blooms, it will come.
In fact, at that time, many people said that Qian Zhongshu had the experience of studying abroad and was a scholar, while Jiang Yang had nothing and was not worthy of Qian Zhongshu. Jiang Yang smiled. She worked hard silently, translated many foreign classics and wrote many works, becoming a generation of famous artists.
Later, someone asked Qian Zhongshu about getting married. Qian Zhongshu said, "I never thought about getting married before I met her;" I have been married to her for decades and have never regretted marrying her; I never thought of marrying another woman. Jiang Yang immediately echoed: "Me too." "
The best marriage is that he lets you see the whole world, not give up for him.
I was very touched when I saw San Mao's sentence before: "A person's life is really too short. Living high is the most important thing in life. " Yes, the world is big and life is difficult, and everyone is unique. We don't have to wronged ourselves, please others, and live our own life is the most important thing.
The world is big and people's hearts are mixed. How can we not meet villains? The world of mortals is deep and the world is flashy. How can there be no trouble? Shallow thinking, you should be happy when you are alive! Looking down, there is a blue sky overhead!