Tang Priest: Good! I want a fuwa. But I don't want a girl. ....
Daotong: Huanhuan is a boy?
Tang Priest: OK, I'll eat Huanhuan. If you ask me, it's better to eat baby boys, because eating baby boys can eat more.
2. Tang Priest: "Disciple, I met several elder sisters with children in their arms these days. Everyone pulled us and whispered,' Master, do you want oil?' It seems that it is really in India. "
Bajie: Master, did you buy it?
Tang Priest: Buy a fart! Every time you are captured by goblins, you and Wukong, the two animals, rush in and blow them up. What else can I buy? I might as well buy some hand cream!
Bajie is very lucky. He was the only one of the four disciples who had a first love, but he was also demoted to the lower bound for the mess with Chang 'e's sister. In the final analysis, it's all the fault of the moon. Then I fell in love with Miss Gao in Gaolaozhuang. Although he was opposed by everyone and even brutally persecuted, Bajie promised to wait for him to learn from the scriptures (and never came back). It can be seen that Bajie's infatuation with Miss Gao Shen was learned from heaven and earth.
4. Friar Sand is introverted, rude in appearance, thoughtful and responsible, but not good at talking. Although it is not the image of Prince Charming in a woman's mind, it is definitely a model of a man worthy of a woman's life. Unfortunately, in order to study, I traveled a long way, missed the marriageable age, and regretted it for life.
One day, Tang Yan and his disciples met a very powerful demon. The devil tied all four of them in the cave without any difficulty. When Tang Priest holds the cauldron high to sharpen his knife, he always smiles and takes his time.
The devil laughed: "I will eat your meat soon." How can you be so calm? "
The Tang Priest laughed and said, "Why do you want to eat my meat?"
The devil said, "Eat your flesh and you will live forever."
The Tang Priest disdained, "Who said that?"
The goblin paused: "Everyone says so, but who can't say clearly."
The Tang Priest smiled and said, "Let me ask you, how much do you need to eat? How many times a day? How many days do you need to eat continuously? How to deal with it? What kind of drug introduction do you need? Are there any side effects? ……"
The goblin was dumbfounded.
Tang Priest made persistent efforts: "It seems that you have a manual? Why don't you ask the doctor for a prescription? This is a big deal. If it's eaten alive, I'm afraid it's useless to cook it. If I cook it, I'm afraid it will turn my stomach! "
The goblin is about to cry.
The Tang Priest stood up, but the goblin went over to untie him and cried bitterly: "Don't blame the monk, the little ones are onlookers who don't know the truth."
6. Wukong: You are a reckless demon! Do you know my best wishes? This stick is as heavy or as big as you like. I usually carry it with me, but it is as big as a toothpick and as thick as a bowl when I hold it. Make good use of it and never meet your opponent!
Banshee: I have met many monks. I've never seen you so scoundrel and smelly. Wukong: @ # $% # * @
7. Daotong: This is the ginseng fruit of our Wuzhuangguan. I don't know which one my predecessors want to eat. There are Barbie dolls, blue cats, naughty ones and Fuwa's. .....
Tang Priest: Good! I want a fuwa. But I don't want a girl. ....
Daotong: Huanhuan is a boy?
Tang Priest: OK, I'll eat Huanhuan. If you ask me, it's better to eat baby boys, because eating baby boys can eat more.
8. How many monsters are there in Journey to the West?
One night I took a taxi home and met a very interesting driver.
We were chatting, and he told me that all the questions in the Southern Civil Service Examination were incomprehensible.
One question is "How many kinds of monsters are there in Journey to the West".
He let me guess, I don't know.
The driver's master revealed the mystery: "There are three kinds, one is to eat Tang Priest;
One is to marry Tang Yan;
The last one is to remember the Tang priest's cassock. "
9.[ Literary Works] Journey to the West
During the Spring Festival, the family is watching TV and having dinner. Just listen to TV singing "I want to live for another 500 years".
At this time, I only heard a sentence from my mother. Why do all stations put Journey to the West, Journey to the West and Travel Notes? Remember,
10, I was inspired when I saw Journey to the West.
Seeing The Journey to the West reversed, I was inspired.
Jia Baoyu was originally a monk, but later he returned to Jiafu, married Baochai, and became entangled with Daiyu.
It was indecent to have fun with the maids at home again, and finally forced Daiyu Baochai to leave.
His childlessness turned to stone, and he didn't even have to repair the goddess of heaven. ...
1 1. Write Journey to the West backwards.
What happens when you write Journey to the West backwards?
The Tathagata sent four men and women to preach in the Tang Dynasty in Dongtu, and then met all kinds of monsters on the road and found that they all had backgrounds.
Bajie and Friar Sand thought it was too dark. One hid in Gaolaozhuang, and the other got into Liusha River. Only Wukong escorted Master eastward to preach.
Then heaven really disliked Wukong and reached an agreement with the Tathagata. We can guarantee Tang Sanzang's safe arrival in Chang 'an, but you have to deal with the Monkey King, an eyesore.
Then Wukong was crushed under Wuzhishan, and Sanzang died after preaching in Chang 'an. ...
Five hundred years later, Wukong jumped out from the foot of Wuzhishan and stirred the sky without saying a word.
12, Journey to the West killed my grandson.
Teacher Li said, "Everyone says that studying in Four Great Classical Novels has many benefits, but Journey to the West killed my grandson."
Teacher Yang said, "It is estimated that the Monkey King has a bad influence on your grandson."
Teacher Li said, "Tang Priest and his disciples are all bad role models. When my grandson introduces himself, he likes to learn from the Tang Priest that the poor monk is from a famous city in the East ... As long as his needs are not met, my grandson loves to learn from the Monkey King, loves to beat his family with sticks, and calls you a monster. My grandson eats like a pig. He wolfs down a lot of food and doesn't know the taste. If severely criticized by his family, he will learn from the sand monk and run away from home while picking up his clothes and quilts, singing the song of "stepping over the rough and starting over".
13, Random Thoughts on Journey to the West
After watching Journey to the West, my friend sighed: I thought the protagonists in the book were so powerful. They are all parallel imports.
I asked: Why are they all parallel imports?
A friend said: Tang priest was put in a bucket to play rafting when he was a child. The Monkey King occupied the caves in water curtain cave as king. Friar Sand once did the business of killing people, stealing goods and eating people in Liushahe. Pig Bajie was originally a canopy marshal in charge of Tianhe, and they all dealt with water. If it's not parallel, what is it?
14, feelings after watching Journey to the West
Teacher: How did you feel after seeing The Journey to the West?
Xiaodong: I especially hope to have the Monkey King's monkey hair.
Teacher: Why?
Xiaodong: How handsome it is to want a beautiful woman in a house!
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