Short humor jokes
Short humor jokes Daquan, jokes Daquan in our daily life can often be heard, but also by the public's favorite, sometimes in the process of getting along with us in the appropriate jokes can also be pulled into each other's distance, the following is a short humor jokes Daquan.
Short humor jokes 1
Dad: "Son, who will you marry in the future to do their own daughter-in-law ah?"
The son naively said: "Grandma loves me the most, so I'm going to marry grandma as my daughter-in-law.
Dad was amused by the naivety: "Nonsense! How can my mom be your daughter-in-law?"
The son was serious: "Then how can my mom be your daughter-in-law?"
I'm not going to go with you for an ice cream
On the street, I heard a little man and a little girl talking.
The little man: "I'll give you an ice cream, you come with me~"
The little loli: "Hmph, I'm not going with you for an ice cream!"
Little Zhengtai: "2!
Little Laurie: "Wait, I have to go home and pack up some things~"
Hilarious Short Jokes 2
Uncle: "Xiao Ming, who treats you better, dad or mom? "
Xiao Ming: "They are both good to me!"
Uncle: "So if dad and mom had a fight, which side would you be on?"
Xiaoming: "I'll take the side."
The Hilarious Short Jokes 3
I was a little nervous about playing chess with the grandpa this morning in the neighborhood.
After the first move, the grandpa was silent for a long time and said, "You're a novice, right?"
I was surprised: "How do you know, moncler?"
moncler: "I've been playing here for a few years, and there really aren't many first moves."
Me: "Shouldn't you let the leader go first?"
Funny Short Jokes 4
The crow fell in love with the frog at the bottom of the well, in order to see the lover as soon as possible, it constantly threw stones into the well every day.
The result is that one day the water reaches the well.
Looking at the toad in front of him, it said anxiously, "May I ask if you have seen the frog?"
"I am the frog, don't you recognize me?" "But you ......"
"And say, isn't it all your smashing?"
Explosive Short Jokes 5
Toad A was staring at the sky, and toad B saw this and asked A: "What are you thinking of when you are staring at the sky?"
Toad A sighed, "I want Chang'e."
Toad B asked, "What are you thinking of when you stare at the sky?
Toad B laughed wildly after hearing this, "You still think you are a pig?"
Toad A was very upset and explained, "I mean I want to taste the swan meat - I want to taste the goose, ok?"
Funny Short Jokes 6
One day, my dad wanted to take my son swimming and said, "I'll take you swimming, going or not?"
My son said, "I'm going swimming, I'm going swimming."
My dad said, "On one condition."
My son didn't understand and asked my dad, "What's the condition?"
My dad said, "The condition is that you have to go to kindergarten."
My son said without thinking, "Then I'm not going swimming."
Short Humor Jokes 21. Please marry me! You will be the second happiest person in the world because you married me and I will be the first happy person in the world.
2, the sea is not withered, the stone is not rotten, my love, only you are happy, I will change with them through and through.
3, fate under the `same sky, you leave me. You once said, I hope to you and I are gray hair, still walking hand in hand in the sunset, beg me never ...
4, in previous years, I prayed to God to give me happiness. Now I have you by my side. I know, happiness, I have got. I love you!
5. It is easy to miss someone! It is difficult to fall in love with a person! To love a person who misses is much more difficult! God give me a chance, I must put ...
6, under the moon, Santa Claus brain thinking active, the Tanabata gift especially added new fashion components, so that the Chinese mm smarter!
7, without your time, the color is single, without your time, the meal is tasteless, without your time, I am hollow!
8, your hesitation period has exceeded, do not allow double-minded! From today onwards, only allowed to be gentle and considerate, not allowed to bully; only allowed to love, not allowed to hate; only allowed to laugh, not allowed to cry.
9, I accidentally sent "I love you" to you by mistake. If you accept it then store it, if you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.
10, I suddenly understand a woman's excellence, not because she has what kind of appearance, money, social status. But in her side, stood a man
11, I have never forgotten those past, but will bury them in the moonlight outside the window, the night floats, they will be scrambling to swarm out.
12, my girlfriend asked me, how to spend the eve ah? I pretend to be confused, Tanabata? Is to eat dumplings? She laughed at me a bit, eat what dumplings ah? Eat mooncakes OK?
13, one day, the cowherd told the weaver, we can not meet, because the magpies are going to love. The weaver said it's okay, then we'll send a short message!
14, what is the most depressing thing about Tanabata? Is the cowherd and the weaving maiden see once a year when the great aunt came.
15, you ignore my words, my heart is like a pair of siblings riding a tandem bicycle, brother pedal brother pedal.
Short humorous jokes 3
A cell phone party, a cell phone said, "I am Nokia." Another said, "I'm a Samsung." There is also a very fashionable dress said: "I am Apple's." At this point, a cell phone in the corner said: "Don't argue, master is a cottage, master love who is who is who!"
Second, I work in the hospital, there was an earthquake one day, when everyone ran outside, only the old director of the internal medicine department is very calmly holding the wall to pull out the antihypertensive drugs to eat two pieces of ...... he thought he had high blood pressure.
Third, it snowed. Ordinary youth: "Ah, it's snowing, so white!" Literary youth: "Snow, clean as jade, purify the soul and spirit!" 2B youth: "Cao, God's poop is white ah!"
Four, the frog with a bottle of pothead to the tortoise home to worship the secret of longevity. The tortoise blew a mouthful of water pipe. Not slow to say: "In fact, it is quite simple. No matter what happens, first shrink your head in."
Fifth, Sima Guang patted Wang Anshi's shoulder: "Kai Fu, fight with me? You are still too young." Wang Anshi calmly shot back: "What's the big deal? It's just smashing a water tank, right? If I were you, I would definitely do the same thing, I'm just one less chance compared to you." Sima Guang eyes shot out two cold light: "Opportunity, is their own creation. You only know that the old man smashed the cylinder, but do not know how that child fell in, right?"
Six, every day is above 40 degrees Celsius, but also go out to run the business, really is the barbecue business is developing rapidly ah, and now are developed to every household.
Seven, a black man was bitten by lice he blew out the candle, said: so you can no longer see me.
Eight, Zhang director of the report, a buzz on the stage, soon over the director's voice. The director is not happy, is about to get angry, then a young man stood up and roared: "Everyone stop!" The whole room was suddenly quiet. The director's heart is quite touched: after all, there is a soulmate ah! That youth then said, "You guys are so noisy that you woke me up!"
Nine, today by chance and a MM chat. I asked her what she looks like, she said 168, long hair. I said I can not say a little more specific. She said this is not specific? I said of course ah, find a 168 mop, and then upside down is not the same as you? Then she directly pulled me black ......
Ten, the United States diplomatic delegation to the Soviet Union to visit the Soviet Union, the Soviet reception officials to accompany them to visit the construction of the great achievements, and proudly said: to the next five-year plan, each Soviet family can have a private jet! The Americans were surprised and asked: what do they need airplanes for? The Soviet official said, "Of course it's useful! For example, if you are in Moscow and you hear that bread is being served in Leningrad, you can immediately fly in an airplane and get in line.
eleven, snail mom said to the snail: you are not small, tomorrow I will take you to the next village blind date. The snail said: I'm only 12 years old, not yet the legal age. Mom: When we go there you will be enough.
twelve, one night at home on the Internet, Want suddenly jumped out of the window to me, said: "pro, I'm pregnant." Brother was shocked, said he did not have any trouble, right? Frozen, the person said: "Tomorrow go to the hospital for a checkup." I thought, "Who the hell are you? Do you want me to go with you for a checkup, do you want to blackmail me? I am pondering, the man said: "Only the day after tomorrow to you shipment." The first thing I want to do is to get the money to pay for it.
Thirteen, on the way to the scriptures, the Tang Monk deep for their three disciples distressed, a jumping up and down, a lazy, a always behind, are people with status is still so not pay attention to the quality, simply is not organized and undisciplined! So the Tang Monk on the three disciples for special training. A month later, the Tang Monk: "March!"
Fourteen, and friends wandering in the street, bumped into a foreign friend, and he greeted: "Ha Lao!" My friend also came to a: "Ha Lao, cool dog!" Awkward ...... death!
XV, a test election minister Mr. Wang, a few years ago rumors will succeed Mr. Chen Cui'an as a monitoring director. Mr. Wang jokingly said, only the monkey yuan year is possible (cover monkey when the emperor, only monkey yuan year, monkey is not possible. Therefore, he will also have no chance). However, recently, the upper level of caring eyes favor, report sent Mr. Wang for a monitoring director of the signs are very big. Could it be that there really is a Year of the Monkey. I have to check Mr. Li's zodiac sign.... Or a certain newspaper intentionally ....
sixteen, Newton because of the mechanics of the problem to visit the Zen master. The Zen master spread a blanket under the incline, put a small ball on the incline to let go, the ball rolled a short distance and stopped. The Zen master replaced the blanket with a smooth wooden surface and the ball rolled a long distance before stopping. Newton came to a realization: Are you saying that force is what changes the state of motion of an object, and that as long as there is no force, it can keep moving? The Zen master said: I mean, as far as you roll me as far as you can!
seventeen, "in college, classmates together to Sichuan restaurant corruption, ordering a child pig's head meat, told half a day, the waitress lady can not understand, a classmate laughed and pointed his finger to his own head, said to the waitress lady, ""Here! Pork head meat!" "Miss:" "Oh ...... understand!" "From then on, this gentleman nicknamed ""pork head meat"".""
18, the morning crowded subway, a buddy walked to the front of the stairs, on the first step on the station there. In the morning, he suddenly awake and shouted: "This is not an escalator ah?!"
nineteen, there is a TV show is a white carrot planted, the fall actually turned into a carrot. Experts across the country to discuss collectively. Investigated the water, fertilizer, ground type, air, weather, and even planting methods. Three episodes, top, middle and bottom. The final conclusion is that the dude planted the wrong seed.
Twenty, a man walking on the dusty road, a coachman drove a four-wheel drive caught up with him. He said to the coachman, "Boss, can you do me a favor? Take my coat to the city." The coachman said, "Yes, but how can you get your coat again?" He said, "That's easy, I'll just stay inside my coat."
Twenty-one, Wei Xiaobao, Yang, Guo Jing and Linghu Chong a few together than his wife. Yang said: my wife is willing to jump off the cliff for me. Guo Jing said: my wife is willing to break with my father for me. Linghu Chong said: My wife is willing to be imprisoned in Shaolin Temple for me. Wei Xiaobao smiled and did not say anything, the crowd looked back, double children have been to Huang Rong, little dragon lady, and Ren Yingying to ask for phone numbers and QQ number.
Twenty-two, girlfriend in Xiamen after watching a man overnight ate twelve moon cakes paralyzed after the news dumbfounded and asked me: "Why does this man has been eating cake ah? Also ate 12 months!!!"
Twenty-three, ordinary youth: "those years, we chased the girl together," pull the wind literary youth: "those years, we have been on the girl together," the other youth: "those years, we have downloaded together One hundred pounds less than a fine arms and legs, miniature with the little people out of the country seems to be a hard to say: ah! I want to lose weight! Want to lose weight ah! The result of the calf stretching Nima with my arm as thin! Dare to ask you want to thin to the same with the pads is it, front a little side a line, ultra-thin invisible! The first thing you need to do is to get your hands on a pair of shoes or boots!
Twenty-five, a small snail just climbed over a bridge, the bridge suddenly collapsed with a bang. The little snail was sweating and sighed: "Oh, my God, I'm not running fast, my life is gone."
Twenty-six: I'm sorry, ma'am, but could you please remove your breasts from my hands?
xxviii Only those who are lazy will complain and suffer for not being able to get up every morning, and those who really have the power of action will call for a vacation right away.
Twenty-eight, the restaurant, a man pointed to the dish dish a two-meter-long tofu yelled: "You what ears! I ordered a home-cooked tofu!" Hotel chef heard, wondered: "Is not long enough?"
Twenty-nine, moths traveling, to the night, is ready to find a place to rest. But found that there is an Internet cafe in front, so, decided to go to sleep. Who knows, once inside the door, was tied by the spider. In the face of the spider's butcher knife, the moth not only sighed; its mother, black store ah!
Thirty, the real good man is not not playing games, not playing DOTA not playing WOW. Rather, when he plays games, as long as you a text message, a phone call or a QQ, he will be for you directly out of the game. A netizen spit: this kind of person is commonly known as "pig like teammates". The first thing you need to do is to get your hands dirty!
31, peng said to the moon: you are my other half. The month said to peng: I did not promise to marry you, you have to remember, we are just friends at the moment.
Thirty-two, apple sick, orange to see it. To the apple home, I saw the apple lying on the bed, shoulder wrapped in thick gauze, orange asked: how can hurt so badly. Apple's mother said in a bad mood: it is not to blame for its own, want to iphone want to crazy, thought he scratched on a knife, it is really apple, simply dreaming!
Thirty-three, wood said to the strain: standing next to you is who ah, how I do not recognize.
Thirty-four, a children's shoes so remember the English words: gose (dog die) mouth (cat die) earth (starve to death) knees (you die) was (I die) bus (dad die), yes (master die), girs (brother die), miss (sister die), school (dead light) DOES (all dead) ONE DOLLAR (finished)! !!! Give power ah!
Thirty-five, the monkey teacher is in the classroom to other young animals. Suddenly, the student, Piglet, let out a loud fart, and all of a sudden, the classroom boiled over. The monkey teacher was so mad that he dragged Toad out of the classroom and punished him severely. When Toad tried to defend himself, the monkey teacher shouted, "Look at your belly swelling like that, I know you have a lot of farts!"