Current location - Recipe Complete Network - Dinner recipes - 2 points for humorous text messages! I want to tell her one a day, and everyone can help as much as possible!
2 points for humorous text messages! I want to tell her one a day, and everyone can help as much as possible!
1 stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?

2 I remember your smile when I get up, smell your smell when I wash my face, and you are my need before I go to bed. I really can't forget you ... my dear toilet!

3 I'm ugly, but I'm gentle, I'm thin, but I'm full of tendons, my heart is soft, but my legs are not short. I'm sure I can catch up with you, even to the ends of the earth.

4 I don't know how you are today, but my situation is not good. I just feel that you are buzzing all the time, left and right, inside and outside my mind. Do you miss me?

5 woman-before engagement, like a swallow, she can fly as she likes. After engagement, like a dove, she can fly, but she dare not fly far. After marriage, like a duck, I want to fly, but I can't.

6 nothing, just miss you suddenly. It's just that I think of you for a moment. In this emotional year, I just say, I like you. I miss you, now.

7 You are a sentimental crow; You are a lively frog; You are a sweet potato that grows out of mud and is not stained; You are a fiery prawn in my heart; I want to greet you gently ... silly goose who read my message: Are you happy today?

8 If you blink, I will die; if you blink again, I will come back to life; if you keep blinking, I will die!

9 if you are a flower, I would like to be the cow dung; If you are cow dung, I would like to be the fly. If you are a fly, I would like to be an egg with a seam. If you are the egg, I would like to be the tea. If you are a tea

1, love is a feeling, and you will feel happy even if you are in pain. Love is an experience, and even if you are heartbroken, you will feel sweet. Love is an experience, and even if you are broken, you will feel beautiful.

11 Marry me, and I will flush your toilet with oil, bathe you with Pepsi, and pick you up from work with Boeing 777. Promise me?

12 Do you love me? If you love, just read the short message ........................................................................! I know you love me, and I will seriously consider you!

13 Forgive me for telling a stranger your mobile phone number. His name is Cupid, and he said that he would help me tell you: My heart likes you, my heart cares about you, and my heart waits for you.

14 It takes a minute to meet someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to fall in love with someone, but it takes me a lifetime to forget you.

15 men-before engagement, like grandchildren, obedient. After engagement, like a son, learn to talk back. After marriage, like Lao Zi, give orders.

16 My wife, like China Telecom, runs stably, but she can't take it out; Xiaomi moves like China, which is convenient and fast, but it costs a lot of money. Lovers are like China Unicom. They feel fresh, but they are often not in the service area.

There is a suicide note: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. Your thick skin makes me ashamed to live in the world, Lord! Please forgive him, I committed suicide!

You are so beautiful that many people want you. Once you turn around, the ghosts frown; secondly, you turn around, the Millennium mute screams; thirdly, you turn around, Tai Sen changes to table tennis; fourthly, Yang Guo falls in love with Li Mochou; fifthly, the monks use Rejoice from now on!

Look at the bank abbreviation: China Construction Bank CBC (deposit or not? ) Bank of China BC (No deposit! ) ABC of Agricultural Bank of China (Ah, don't save! ) ICBC (love to save) Minsheng CMSB (save silly waves? )

Marriage: the poor family is ugly, with a primary school education and rural hukou, a broken house with three thin fields and an acre of land, and a wife who has a cold pot and a hot stove. I don't leave my mouth all year round. Today, I want my girlfriend to join hands by SMS. Would you like to?

A drunk said to his wife, Our house is haunted! I went to the toilet just now, and as soon as I opened the door, the light came on and there was a gust of evil wind blowing out. The wife slapped him and said, This is the third time you got drunk and peed in the refrigerator!

in the restaurant. Woman: Will you marry me? Male silence. Woman: Don't think that no one wants me. If I get angry, I'll find someone to marry right here! Waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the guests in our shop.

Actor A anxiously looks for the director: Didn't you say that I was allowed to play the role of Wu Dalang? Why did someone change again? The director said impatiently, How many times have I told you that you are not tall enough to play Wu Dalang?

A man had a hard time putting his luggage on the plane. The stewardess asked, Do you always carry such heavy luggage? M: Not next time! Next time it's my turn to hide in the box and my companion will buy the ticket.

A girl wrote to her boyfriend in the distance: Honey, don't write to me again. Neighbors all think that postman is my boyfriend ...

When Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed with long hair, he was frightened and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and smiled grimly, saying, Rejoice is so confident!

Mr. and Mrs. Harry are fishing by the river, while Mrs. Harry is nagging. Soon, a fish was hooked. Mrs. Harry: What a poor fish! Mr. Harry: If it shuts up, it will be all right!

personals: Male, undergraduate, only a few points short; Working in a multinational organization, McDonald's cleans the table; There is a house, and many people own it; Have a car, non-motorized; Looking for beautiful young people * * * went to the grave, a few years later.

I sent a mosquito to you yesterday to tell you that I miss you very much and ask it to kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you! It will tell you how much I miss you! You ask me how much I love you? A pimple represents my heart!

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, the snow in Saibei. Sorry, the card is stuck.

You and I are angels with one wing. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come to the world to find the other half, and I finally found you after all kinds of hardships, damn it! Only to find that our wings are on the same side.

A three-year-old boy took a three-year-old girl's hand and said, "I love you." The little girl said, "Can you be responsible for my future?" The little boy said, "Of course! We are not one or two years old! "

The mother mouse suspected that the male mouse was having an affair, so she followed him one day. The male mouse got into the grass, and a thorn accusation came out later. The mother mouse grabbed the thorn accusation and said that there was no affair, and said! Who do you seduce by playing so many mousses?

Fate is an unchangeable oath before the reincarnation of this life. Fate is a happy agreement that you and I once said. Fate is a beautiful dream that we can meet again when we are human beings. Ape dung is a monkey's Baba.

The priest saw several fairy models in the window of a department store with exquisite curves and wearing cicada gauze nightgowns. He sighed and said, If angels are like this, heaven will be in chaos!

I don't miss you for changing seasons, and I don't forget you for being busy. How are you at the zoo? Did the tiger bully you? Did the lion scare you? The monkey didn't rob you of food, did he? Are you still used to reading text messages with your two feet holding your mobile phone?