1. The wish of Heilongjiang people: the capital is diverted to Hegang, the provincial party committee replaces the central government, the United Nations is located in Mudanjiang, Shanghai is a township of Jixi, the national wine is Beidacang, the state banquet is bumpy, and the national anthem "Qiqihar, Ah, my hometown" (I like this one very much, because my home is Qiqihar's)

3. Our village is poor! Dressing basically depends on visiting, eating basically depends on the party, marrying a daughter-in-law basically depends on thinking, and getting rich basically depends on grabbing. Communication in our village basically depends on yelling, public security basically depends on dogs, and heating basically depends on shaking.

4. My wife is a big tree, so I must hug her. Lovers are grass, so we must protect them. Plant a big tree, plant a piece of grass, enjoy the cool under the big tree and walk the birds on the grass. Ah, such It's a Wonderful Life!

5. To be a woman, we must stand up to lies, perfunctory, cheating, forget our promises, let go of everything, and finally disguise our tears with laughter: I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths.

6. A: What is Miss Chen's character?

b: it can be described as "three obedience and four virtues".

a: really?

b: if you have money, you will follow, if you have looks, you will follow, if you are young. You can't eat or wear anything.

7. Several tricks to lose weight quickly! Da Hinggan Mountains play with broadsword, Changbai Mountain wheel shovel, aerobics along Wusu River, fish fishing at the bottom of Songhua River, five bags of special laxatives a day, catching cats in the dead of night, and often never gain weight in the past.

8. Dear, I miss you and send you a couplet!

Part I: I suffer for you, I am tired for you, and I suffer for you;

bottom line: crazy about you, crazy about you, bumping into the wall for you.

horizontal criticism: mental disorder.

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