The performance of people who are afraid of society
Too concerned about the eyes of others, afraid of contact with strangers.
I am particularly nervous when I am afraid to speak in public.
Habitual bow, hunchback, afraid to look directly at others.
When I was a child, I was very good, very sensible and too emotional.
Cheerful personality, too concerned about the wishes of others, afraid of offending people.
Habitually denying yourself, I would rather believe others than myself.
Low risk tolerance, always afraid of doing something wrong or saying something wrong.
Extremely sensitive, it is easy to think too much about other people's words and deeds and play too much inside.
Have no opinions, dare not express their ideas, or have no ideas of their own.
People's Daily once commented on ‖ social phobia ‖ social phobia ‖ diseases of modern life:
Excuse me, are you also from the Star of Social Terror?
The enthusiasm of others is a burden to me. "Social fear stars" can't seem to bear more eyes and stares. As long as you don't deal with humans, everything is comfortable. The "social fear" mentioned by people in daily life is more like an idea and an identity than a "illness". In the name of "disease", young people avoid the old social principles, thus rejecting the so-called "boring social interaction".
According to some surveys, 80% of the college students surveyed said that they had a slight "social fear"; Searching on social platforms with social fear as the key word, there are hundreds of related topics, and the total reading of topics has exceeded 100 million times.
Most young people's circle of friends also has some copywriting about social phobia, such as:
I'm not a social phobia. I'm just allergic to people
Social phobia+facial paralysis+deafness+myopia = high cold = me
Compared with strangers, half-baked people are the most terrible.
People who are afraid of society even acted hundreds of times in advance when they got off the bus, and they didn't have the courage to call the master to stop. When other people in the same place call out to get off, they will feel glad.
I summarized the common social phobia.
1 optical phobia
I get nervous and scared when I look at people. When I look at people, I always think of that person's eyes. Even if I look at them, I can't bear to part with them. I can't look at them for a long time.
2. Expressing phobia
I always feel that I am not expressing myself correctly and I am afraid of being misunderstood by others. I have a heavy ideological burden and a lot of pressure in my heart.
3 acrophobia
Also known as blush phobia, it means blushing easily in front of people. When the patient's mood changes, facial flushing and even redness appear in Rongxian County. Mostly caused by temporary vasodilation of the face. It is often related to the sensitive personality habits of the parties.
Why do you hate yourself? Why just stare at your own shortcomings and don't like yourself? That's because you are too afraid of hatred and getting hurt in interpersonal relationships.
So how to overcome social fear?
I summarized several suggestions.
1 Look people in the eye
When talking to others, if your eyes wander and dodge, you will look guilty. Therefore, soft-hearted people should dare to look others in the eye. Angry, gentle and firm eyes will appear confident and frank.
Speak firmly.
No matter what occasion you speak, you should control your speech speed and intonation. It's not good to have a heavy tone or be too gentle. Don't whisper. Don't be shy, just say it, every word should be strong and fall to the ground.
Don't show your lack of confidence in front of outsiders.
Speak softly, repeat your tone, and often stand or sit. Stiff body movements, stiff expressions and erratic eyes will reveal your nervousness and lack of confidence.
From now on, you should speak slowly, loudly and in one go, cry, look forward, find a most comfortable posture when sitting down, and keep it until you want to change it. You should do this often and practice more until they become your habit.
Don't be self-centered.
Don't think too much. If you have energy, do something, take action and read. Everything is unfair because you are not strong enough. If you are dissatisfied with the status quo, you will become stronger.
5 Dare to maintain your bottom line
The relationship between people is a process of mutual game. Everyone wants to bully another person. When he is treated unfairly, he should dare to fight back in time. If he treats others well everywhere, he will become a lamb at the mercy of others.
6 learn to refuse
Just making excuses. I have my hands full right now. I have other things to do ... be firm and concise. Don't prevaricate. It's your fault that you don't help him.
Most importantly, when you refuse others, don't look at their reaction. Second, follow the principle of value exchange. If someone asks you for help, please ask him for help.
For example, "Help me move something. Ok, my cup is empty, please fill it for me. " If he agrees, it is ok to help. If he refuses, then you have good reason to refuse him.
7 stop comparing with others
In life, many meaningless troubles come from comparison, which will only consume a person's energy, make a person fall into the strange circle of comparison, and then become inferior and eccentric. Everyone has his own way of living, and there is nothing to compare. Don't envy what others have, enlarge what you don't have.
Don't deliberately cater to others.
In fact, even if we are not good at communication, there is no need to deliberately change ourselves to cater to others.
Because under normal circumstances, you will not be respected for catering to others, but will only be trampled on by dignity and cancelled.
9 Be brave in expressing your ideas
It is cool and comfortable to dare to express your thoughts. You don't have to be tied behind your back, please express yourself bravely.
In fact, even if it is rejected, it doesn't matter, because we dare to take this step, at least once, and it didn't go in vain.
Finally, at the end, I borrowed a passage from Mr. Wang in He Jiong:
If you are introverted or withdrawn, but for work reasons, you need to be a more active or proactive self.
I don't think you should be sad, don't be sad and don't feel so hard. You should be proud of yourself. When we face ourselves, we can be whoever we want to be, but when we enter another external environment and society, when we need to do something within our power, even beyond our power, it shows that we are needed.
I think it's great to be needed, as long as you don't lose yourself, as long as you don't forget what you are. So sometimes, many people will feel sad when you grow up, but if you are just a child all your life, so many people love you and give you strength, I am sorry, right?
You can be lonely, but don't say you are a patient, I think everyone is. Everyone can have this unhappy time, but when I go out, I can at least carry a lot of things on my shoulders, not to mention that I am a soldier. I think I'm fine.