1. Question: What is the antonym of mobile phone? Answer: feet

2. There was a meat bun. One day it went to drink, but it was drunk, so it walked away While holding on to the telephone pole, I vomited and turned it into steamed buns

(I like this the most) Hahahaha~~

3. Xiao Ming’s father has three sons. The eldest child is called Da Mao, the second child is called Er Mao, what is the name of the third child? It’s called Sanmao. ........Because Xiao Ming is a woman.

4. How many brothers does Aladdin have? 3. Ala Jia, Ala Yi, Ala C.

5. Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid. Squid begged him: Please let me go, don't roast me to eat.

The man said: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions. Squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test! Then the man grilled the squid...

6. One day, Mung Bean committed suicide and jumped from the 5th floor. He bled a lot and turned into red beans; it kept bleeding and turned into soybeans; The wounds formed scars and eventually turned into black beans.

7. Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite!

Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. As he cried, he flew up. . . ~

8. A pair of corns fell in love, so they decided to get married. On the wedding day, one corn couldn't find the other corn.

The corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our corn? Popcorn: My dear, is she wearing a wedding dress? ! ! !

9. Xiaohuamei said to her mother, "Mom, I don't feel well today and I don't want to go to school... Mom said it's uncomfortable there?"

Xiaohuamei said, "I don't know why I I always feel sour all over my body.

10. A couple went to die for love together, but they only had enough money to buy a bottle of pesticide, and the amount of pesticide in this bottle was only enough to kill one person. But in the end both of them died. Why? Answer: They bought this bottle of pesticide, opened the cap, and it said: Another bottle. (Hahaha~)

11. There was a grenade. One day after it finished eating, it cleaned its teeth and suddenly found a thorn in the middle of the teeth. It pulled it out with all its strength. It exploded...

12. Xiao Ming’s father said to Xiao Ming: If you behave well today, your father will take you to the market to watch others eat sweets.

13. An international student was taking a driver's license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. He was not sure and asked the examiner: "turn left?"

Answer: "right" So... Hanged up... (Hahahaha~ This is so weird)

14. Question: Where do users like to shut down their phones the most? Answer: Ningbo Question: Why? Answer: "Sorry, the user you dialed has turned off"...

15. There was a person who felt his feet were very sore while walking. When he looked down, he stepped on a lemon!

16. One day Snake A asked Snake B: "Ah, B! Are we poisonous?" Snake B replied: "I don't know? What are you doing here?" Snake A said: "Because I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

17. A Chinese student was involved in a car accident on a highway abroad. He and his car fell off a cliff. When the traffic police arrived, they shouted: "How are you?" ?The international student answered: I'm fine, thank you. Then the traffic police left, and the international student died.

18. After a group of great scientists died, they played hide-and-seek in heaven. It was Einstein’s turn to catch them. When he counted to 100, he opened his eyes and saw Everyone hid, only Newton was still standing there. Einstein walked over and said: "Newton, I caught you." Newton: "No, you didn't catch Newton.

” Einstein: “If you are not Newton, who are you?” Newton: "Look what's under my feet?" " Einstein looked down and saw Newton standing on a square floor tile with a length and width of one meter. Newton: "This is a square meter of squares under my feet. When I stand on it, it is Newton/square meter. So what you grasp is not Newton, what you grasp is Pascal. "(This is more accurate, hahahaha)

19. Make a sentence using "Quietong", children: A train passed by, "Quietong" and "Quietong"

20. Let me tell you a funny story~~ 1 A chicken slid down the mountain... This is a funny story

21 Why does the pangolin dig the ground every day? Because he is looking for pangolins

22 A family of earthworms It was a boring day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. Mother Earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Dad Earthworm thought about it and cut himself into two pieces. Minced meat. Mother Earthworm cried: "Why are you so stupid?" It will kill you if you cut it into pieces like this! "Dad Earthworm said weakly: "...I suddenly want to play football. "

23 One day, the pig said to the bear: "Guess how many pieces of candy I have in my pocket? The bear said, "You guessed it right? Can you give it to me?" The pig nodded: "Well, if you guess it right, I'll give you two pieces." "Xiong said: "Five yuan. ” (What a realistic bear!!)

24. How come Xiao Ming didn’t die after jumping from the 12th floor...

……………because……Xiao Ming is a Plastic bags...

25 One day, the little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf caught the little white rabbit and beat it without saying a word. The little white rabbit asked, "Why did you hit him?" I? ", the big bad wolf said while beating, "I told you not to wear a hat, I told you not to wear a hat."

The next day, the little white rabbit was walking in the forest wearing a hat, and met the big bad wolf. The gray wolf, the big bad wolf grabbed the little white rabbit and beat it without saying a word. The little white rabbit asked, "Why do you still beat me when I'm wearing a hat?" ", the big bad wolf said while beating, "I told you to wear a hat, I told you to wear a hat."

After being beaten, the little white rabbit thought that this was not the way to go, so he ran to the tiger The tiger king complained in front of the king, "My king, your king, the big bad wolf bullied me. He beat me when I wore a hat, and he beat me when I didn't wear a hat."

After hearing the cry of the little white rabbit, the tiger king said. "I know, I will talk to the big bad wolf."

After the little white rabbit left, the tiger king called the big bad wolf "Why did you hit the little white rabbit?"

Tiger King "If you want to beat him, you have to find a better excuse. For example, if you ask him to find a girl for you, he will When a beautiful one comes, just say you want an ugly one. He found an ugly one, and you said you wanted a beautiful one. It's not too late to fight like this."

Big Bad Wolf "..."

Tiger King "Or if you ask him to find you a beautiful woman, he will find a fat one. If you say you want a thin one, and he finds a thin one and you say you want a fat one, wouldn’t that give him a reason to beat him? ”

The Big Bad Wolf kept saying yes, but unexpectedly the conversation between the Tiger King and the Big Bad Wolf was heard by the little white rabbit outside the door.

On the third day, the little white rabbit The white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf.

The big bad wolf said, "Little white rabbit, go find me a girl."

The little white rabbit, "You want me." Beautiful or ugly? "

The big bad wolf thought, "Hey, how does he know what I want to do?" So he said, "Forget it, go find me a beautiful woman."

Little White Rabbit “Do you want a fat one or a thin one? "

The big bad wolf walked around twice scratching his head and ears, then grabbed the little white rabbit and beat him, "I told you not to wear a hat, I told you not to wear a hat." . . ”

26 Four people were playing mahjong in the house. The police came. Why did they take away five people?

………………The name of the person who was playing Mahjong

27 Why do ants and giraffes walk on the desert without footprints?

Because the ants ride bicycles with the giraffes

28 Why did Xiao Ming find the refrigerator in his home. The delicious food was eaten by the ant and the giraffe?

Because the ant and the giraffe's bicycle were parked next to the refrigerator.

29 Question 1! A rice cake and a piece of carbon were fighting on the beach. When they hit each other, the carbon knocked the rice cake into the sea. As a result, the rice cake disappeared.

Question 2! A pair of very loving lovers have been in love for many years. . But at this time, the boys were going to study abroad. The day before leaving, the boy bought a pair of couple rings. He gave one to the girl and put on the other one. He said to the girl: "My dear, we are going to be separated for a while, and we will meet again at this place in 3 years..." Then they separated. .

Three years later, the girl was waiting for the boy in the same place. But after waiting for a few days, he still didn't see the boy, so he angrily threw the ring on his hand into the sea. . . A month later, the boy discovered that he had been waiting for the girl in the wrong place. . . He felt like a failure and threw the ring on his hand into the sea. . . Then, the boy walked along the beach in despair, and saw an old man fishing. . . Guess what the old uncle caught?

Answer: rice cake! ! ! !