Freshman: "(walking out from the edge of the stage, as if strolling) I am a ## freshman, 16 years old, unmarried. I am very talented and impressive, and I know astronomy well and geography well. Know everything, know everything, and be omnipotent! Today I heard that the student union of my school is recruiting new students to be cadres. I had no interest in becoming an official, but I heard that being a student union cadre is quite prestigious, so let’s go check it out! "

(Walk to the student union)

Freshman: "Wow! As soon as you enter the door, you will see the learning department. Our school is really focused on learning!"

Academic cadre: (The freshmen met the director of the study department as soon as they entered the door. She was holding a collection of poems and reciting emotionally there) "There is bright moonlight in front of the bed. I suspect it is frost on the ground. Look up at the bright moon and lower your head to miss your hometown!" (Sweat!!!!)

Freshman: (Applauding and walking towards him, of course he said it in a flattering tone) "This must be the director of the study department! Hello, young student!!" (Bowling with both hands) )

Student cadre: "Oh, yes, I am the head of the study department who claims to have gathered the top study backbones in the school! (satisfied) I wonder what does this brother do for you?"

p>

Freshman: "I came to the Student Union to apply for a job as a cadre. When I came in, I was in your study department, and I was attracted by your voice, so I applied to your department first! I don't know what the conditions are for being a cadre. ”

Xue Cadre: “I dare you! Brother, I really have great ambitions. I can’t talk about the conditions. I just need some basic things.” (Shen took a look at the front and back. )

Freshman: "What is it?" (Looking at her hand with a curious face)

Student cadre: "(Facing the audience) For example, the academic performance must be in the whole school Ranking in the top ten, I am actually the first in the whole grade, so I will relax the requirements for you. This is the most important; (blowing on her fingernails) Then you need to be able to play an instrument, such as piano or flute, but I can play three instruments. Oh! (Turns to the freshman, sees that he is still there, and then turns to the audience) So I have relaxed the requirements for you; of course, you also have the same artistic appreciation ability as me. (The freshman immediately vomited when he heard this and ran off the stage) You don’t have to be as poetic as me, but you have to have the same hobbies as me. And finally... Huh? Where is the person?”

(Before he finished speaking, Xinsheng had disappeared)

p>

Student cadre: "Why are the current classmates so impatient? Forget it, (reciting tone) Even if I am the only one in the department, I can hold up the sky! I am so poetic!" ! ! HOHOHO! There's a bright moonlight in front of the bed, it's probably frost on the ground..." (Reading and walking off the stage) Freshman: "(Running up to face the audience) Wow! I didn't expect there to be such a person in the study department! You're a narcissist, it'll be a disaster if you get selected! Why? There is a girls' club in the student union?" (showing a rather lewd expression)

Female cadre: (Seeing someone outside the door, she walked out and asked) "Is there anything this classmate can help you with? I am the head of the girls' department of the student union. "

Freshman: "(Low voice and long voice) Wow! Sure enough, there is a hidden beauty in the girls' department. Ah, eldest sister, I’m here to apply for the position of student union cadre. ”

Female cadre: “Oh, welcome, welcome, which department do you want to apply for as a cadre?” "

Freshman: "Is this...hey! Just your girls department! "

Female cadre: (facing the audience) "Huh? But our girls’ department has never accepted male cadres? Because many tasks in our department are carried out with female students as the core, all in order to provide girls with a better learning and living environment, you are a boy..."

Freshman (grasp Crazy, suddenly thought): "Sister, this is wrong! In ancient times, there was Shang Yang's reform, and now there is the United States' attack on Iraq. There are exceptions in everything, and innovation is required in everything. I always have meticulous care for girls. Girls’ problems are my problems. Girls’ worries (make a charming gesture) are my worries, big sister! For the happiness of hundreds of girls in our school, please let me join the girls' club..." (Kneel down on one knee, be decisive)

Female cadre: "...Okay Okay, if I accept YOU, our department will make an exception and accept you as a male cadre.

Then you come with me now to solve an urgent girl problem..."

Freshman: "Oh? What's the problem? ”

Female cadre: “Well, although we girls usually love to talk and laugh, (a scene of two girls joking and joking appeared on the side of the stage), sometimes we have small conflicts. No, two girls in the second year of high school Just because of a little thing, we are quarreling now..." (When you start to quarrel, don't make any noise, but be fierce, it happened suddenly)

Freshman: "Hey, isn't it a girl? Are the kids quarreling? I'll go and settle things right away..." (I was about to leave, but was pulled back)

Female cadre: "Wait a minute...You don't know something. The problems we girls have are trivial. It can be small, but it can be big. If you don't handle it well, they may..."

Freshman (fearful): "What will happen..." ( Looking at the two girls on the side of the stage together)

Female cadre: "Grab your hair (new students cooperate in a head-hugging position), hook your nostrils (cover your nose), tear your clothes... ." (At this time, the two people on the stage did what the female cadre said and made jokes)

Freshman: "(covering the chest with both hands) Wow! indecent! ! ”

Female cadre: “You are scared”

Freshman: “Ah... no, no... my clothes are from Metersbonwe. Isn’t this problem suitable for a boy like me? I’ll leave it to you girls to solve on your own! I'm leaving first..."

Female cadre: "Hey! Don't go! We girls need you..." (Chasing the freshmen off the stage, coming back when he was about to reach the edge of the stage, and said to the audience: "Hey, I'd better solve the girl problem by myself!" After that, he walked over and talked to the girl The two girls said a few words and then the three of them left the stage together)

Freshman: (ran onto the stage again) “These girls are really troublesome! Forget it, let’s go check out other departments. "

Lao Cadre: (Appearing from the other side) "Alas..."

Freshman: "Huh? Why is this elder brother lamenting and sighing? Could it be that it’s also about girls? "

Cadre Lao: "Oh! No, no, I am the Minister of Labor and Welfare. (To the audience) It has always been the unshirkable responsibility of our Ministry of Labor and Welfare to enable everyone to live in an elegant campus, study in a bright and clean classroom, and rest in a tidy dormitory. (Didn’t come back to his senses for a long time, then glanced at the freshmen) Are you..."

Freshman: "(Took a step back) I have long...long admired the name of the Ministry of Labor and Welfare, my little brother today I just came here for the position of cadre of the Ministry of Labor and Welfare..."

Labour cadre: "Okay! You come with me right away! "(Pull the freshman and talk while walking)

Freshman: "Let's go? Where to go? "

Labour cadre: "Canteen! "

Freshman: "(Excited) Canteen! (Walks forward and whispers to the audience) Oh, the Ministry of Labor and Welfare is the Ministry of Labor and Welfare! Let’s talk about everything at the dinner table! So impressive! (Stops and holds the hand of the labor cadre) Brother! I'm committed to you...but? It seems it's not time to eat yet? Later, okay? ”

Minister Lao: “Oh, where can I go to eat!” We are here to express our opinions about the canteen to the students. ”

Freshman: “What’s your opinion?” "

Minister Lao: "You are a new student, you may not realize it. Let me ask you, when you go to the canteen to get food, have you ever noticed that when the waiter is serving you rice or vegetables, are your hands always like this, shaking... shaking..."

< p>Xinsheng: "(meditate for a moment) Well...it seems like that's the case. ”

Minister Lao: “That’s right, every time she shakes, she loses one or two pieces of meat.”

"(Counting the fallen meat, looking very distressed) (sweat!!!!!)

Freshman: "(It doesn't matter) Huh? Isn’t it just one or two pieces of meat? ”

Minister Lao: “Classmate! (serious) You don’t understand this! Each of us is short of one or two pieces of meat. If we add up thousands of students, we are just a fat pig! "(Made a gesture of hugging a pig)

Freshman: "Ah! ! ! Sorry, I'm not good at bargaining. You'd better go on your own..."

Minister Lao: "Hey! Don't leave? Classmates..." (chasing off the stage)

Freshman: "(sweat!!!!!) (on stage again to face the audience) (this is the first time!!!) The Ministry of Labor and Welfare turns out to be a bunch of stingy people! It doesn’t matter if you don’t get into this department. Huh? The two men in front have extraordinary charisma, so they must have some background! (Running up to block the front) Xiaosheng pays homage to these two heroes. "

Minister of Administration: "Oh, I am the Minister of Administration and Security, and he is my assistant. It seems that you are a freshman, right? Our Security Department cooperates with the security department of the college to do a good job in the security and security work of the school. Do you need any help? ”

Freshman: “No, no, I, I want to apply for a job as a cadre of the Public Security Department...”

(The phone rang suddenly, and the assistant picked up the phone and handed it to the minister. It said "Minister, your phone number!")

Minister Zhi: "Oh, wait a moment, I'll answer the phone. Hello? Yes, this is the Department of Public Security. What's going on? (Freshman curiously approaches to listen to the content) What? Two drug dealers wandered into our city? Nine deaths and one injury were caused on the way! (Freshman looks surprised) What? Maybe he hid in our school! ! (Freshman's expression is stiff) Okay, please inform other departments, I...oh, I just recruited a new cadre here, I'll call him right away! (Freshman runs away in panic) Wait a moment. Hey, why is he missing..."

Freshman: "(Super sweaty!!!!!!! He ran up again, fuming) What a danger! What a risk! I never thought that joining the Public Security Department would put your life in danger... (I saw a boy walking into the student union) Classmate! classmate! Are you like me and want to apply for a job as a student union leader? I advise you not to go! The student union is full of weirdos, either stupid or stingy, plus a narcissist! By the way, it’s also life-threatening! ! Listen to me, don't go! Don't go! "(At this time, the four ministers took turns to come up to the stage to say hello to the chairman, then glared at the freshmen and stepped down, hiding aside to eavesdrop. The freshmen didn't hear once before the chairman bent down until he put one hand on the ground)

The freshmen : "Ah Lord...Chairman"

Chairman: (Chairman helped him up) "Well, hello, classmate, I forgot to introduce myself to you, I am the president of the student union in this world. What you just said is absolutely correct. What our student union cadres do is indeed some hard work, but as long as it can serve and help the students, no matter how hard or tiring it is, we will do it! (The four people who were hiding aside ran out to applaud, and then ran away again as the chairman said, "I haven't finished speaking yet.") If you just want to live in office and are afraid of hard work, I advise you not to join the student union. . "

Freshman: "...Chairman, you are right. Compared with other cadres just now, (looking at the stands) I realized how selfish and insignificant I am. I will definitely make corrections when I go back and learn from them! (affectionately) There have been N opportunities for me to join the student union, but I didn’t cherish them. (Suddenly, a student ran up to him and handed him a napkin. After taking it, the freshman pinched his nose, said thank you and gave it back to the student. Then A student looked at the new student with a disgusted expression) If God gives me another chance, I will definitely apply for (pause) Student Union President! ! ”

Chairman: “Oh my God! "(Shocked, four people came to the stage to support the chairman, everyone froze)

Examination Crazy Cloud (campus sketch)

Characters: Xiao Ai, Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling, teacher

p>

Scene: Classroom

Content:

Xiao Ling was sleeping on the table

Xiao Ai left a book beside her and went out.

Xiao Wu came in and sat in Xiao Ai's seat.

Xiao Ai (comes in): Oh, man, this is really baffling. Are you kidding me? Don’t you see, I’ve already taken this seat!

Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding, and Mao is Mao. In fact, I got it earlier than you!

Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning, why didn’t I see you?

Xiao Wu: I took it last night.

Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I got up early every day, scratched my head, and my blood was flowing. I couldn’t lose this position!

Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. The Feng Shui here is unique. If you want to drive me away from here (Xiao Ai: - How?) I advise you to pull me down as soon as possible!

Xiao Ling woke up: Why are you making noise?

Having a quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning is a waste of youth!

Do you know what mistakes you made? ah?

Xiao Ai: I know.

Xiao Wu: Let’s stop arguing.

Xiao Ling: The most unforgivable thing about you is that you woke me up!

Xiao Ai sat in front of Xiao Ling.

Xiao Ai: The last word is to carry forward the style. Brother, follow my lead in the exam!

Xiao Wu: Huh? Is there an exam today?

Xiao Ling: Can you? My hands are numb today!

Xiao Ai: Are you scared?

Xiao Wu: Are you sleeping?

Xiao Ling: None of them are right! Tired of fighting grass!

Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent most of the night lighting a lamp and burning oil!

Xiao Wu: Oh, are you studying hard?

Xiao Ling: Do you also fight grass?

Xiao Ai: Oh no, I’m thinking about exam strategies!

Xiao Wu and Xiao Ling came over: What do you think of?

Xiao Ai laughed wildly: Let me tell you, this trick is amazing!

Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: Come on!

Xiao Ai: Copy according to the book - (pick up the book)

Xiao Ling: Go to hell!

Xiao Wu: That’s a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?

Xiao Ling: Come on. You call this a trick?

Hey, in order to relieve the tense atmosphere, I will give you a humorous puzzle.

Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu ignored her.

Xiao Ling: Tell me, how many steps are there to answer the exam?

Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu approached: How many steps?

Xiao Ling: Three steps!

Step one: write your name. (Both nod)

Step 2: Read the question again! (Both nodded)

Step three: - Hand over the rolling paper!

Xiao Ai: Hand in blank!

Xiao Wu: What is wrong?

Xiao Ling: Let me ask you another question: There is an exam today, who didn’t come?

Xiao Ai: Who can’t come to the exam today? Xiaoling?

Xiao Ling: I’m not here!

Xiao Ai: Look around, Xiao Wu?

Xiao Wu: Here it is!

Xiao Ai: Ah! I know—Xiao Ai!

Xiao Wu: You are here for nothing! There is no difference between coming or not coming!

Xiao Ling: Answer, teacher! Not here yet!

The teacher walked in.

The three of them were startled: Are you here? Why did you come even though you said you couldn’t come? oops! (Noisy)

Teacher: What is it called? The toad has come in?

The three of them laughed.

Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? --Fraction! Minute by minute, your lifeblood! (Evil smile) Test, test, test, our magic weapon!

Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, copy, our trick!

Teacher: Hand out rolling papers quickly! Don’t come early even if you have an exam, what time is it already! I didn’t come until half an hour after the exam started! What have you been doing?

Hair curls.

Teacher: The exam lasts for *** two hours! No papers are allowed to be handed in for less than one hour! Students who want to answer the paper please pick up the pen, and students who do not want to answer the paper please rest where they are.

Students who want to go to the toilet - please restrain yourself!

Xiao Ai: Let me compare the teacher,

He is like a mouse looking for a cat to be an escort - the request is unreasonable!

Xiao Ling: That’s right! Could it be that he is a legendary rapper, otherwise why would he keep mumbling?

Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than trees! Do you know what a serious mistake you have made? Heavier than the sea of ??salt!

Three people started copying.

Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please stop copying this student!

Xiao Wu, Xiao Ling: I didn’t copy it!

The teacher walked up to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying!

Xiao Ai: How do you know? I put it on the table and copied it!

Teacher: The board in front of your desk fell off, I saw it!

Xiao Ai: (looked at it) Oops! What bad luck!

The teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's rolling paper, and Xiao Ai was about to stand up and walk.

Teacher: Sit down! You are not allowed to go out for less than an hour!

The teacher walked to Xiao Wu, and Xiao Wu took the roll of paper to the table and copied it.

Teacher: Okay, okay, stop pretending!

I look down upon those of you who cheat with books, as you have no technical content at all.

How did you copy it just now? so? so?

Xiao Wu: Lower and lower!

Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu’s paper) Sit down and think about it, why did you cheat with the book?

Xiao Wu: I don’t want to take the book either! Why didn't I do a good job like her (Xiaoling)?

Xiao Ling looked at Xiao Wu with wide eyes.

Teacher: That’s right, remember to hit the grass next time! I just like this kind of hard-working children.

Teacher: It’s time! carry out an assignment.

Put away the roll paper.

Teacher: OK. Remember to take the high school math test in the afternoon! (Part 2)

Xiao Ai: Ah! Are you taking the high school math test in the afternoon?

Xiao Ling: Ah! ! High school math test in the afternoon! (Picks up the grass) What did you test just now?

Xiao Wu: High... number? ! What tree is that?

Three people: Let’s study how to kill grass!

The teacher walks in (each teacher can be played by one person in costume).

Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher!

Teacher: Xiao Ai, how do you write a composition! (Give the roll of paper to Xiao Ai)

Xiao Ai: What's wrong?

Teacher: Read it.

Xiao Ai: "My Teacher", my teacher has an oval face...

Teacher: Wait, (take out a big sign with claws written on it) Are you a melon-faced person? What you wrote is that my teacher has a clawed face!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, the paw face is also a face, can’t we just look at it?

Teacher: You continue reading.

Xiao Ai: My teacher is so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful...

Teacher: Stop! Why do you write so much about how beautiful it is? That’s how I wrote it until the end!

Xiao Ai: Teacher, isn’t it required that the composition should be no less than 500 words?

Teacher: Then you only take beautiful photos?

Xiao Ai: Isn’t it required to write true feelings? This is all my feelings!

Teacher: Hum hum, tell you, you only have 496 words!

Xiao Ai: Oh! Then I’d like to add: It’s so beautiful!

Teacher: Look at your translation of ancient Chinese. How did you translate death by touching a locust tree?

Xiao Ai: Find an old locust tree and hang yourself!

Teacher: Why is it an old locust tree? Look, when you explain words and death, you actually write about death!

Xiao Ai: Oh, I wanted to write about death!

Teacher: (with a helpless look) You, you failed again!

Xiao Ai: Give me another chance! I've retaken it five times!

Teacher: Okay, I'll give you a chance. I've heard that phlegm can relieve cattle, is it easy? You make up a sentence using the word "easily done", and I'll pass it to you!

Xiao Ai: There is a fish in the swimming blade? ! Fish... fish, fish swim in the water, fish can swim with ease...

Teacher: (laughing) Congratulations, you got——

Xiao Ai: Passed?

Teacher: (indifferently) The sixth opportunity to retake the course. (Part 2)

Xiao Ling, Xiao Wu: Forget it, let’s study advanced mathematics.

The teacher comes in.

Xiao Wu: Philosophy teacher!

Teacher: Xiao Wu!

Xiao Wu: Yes!

Teacher: Look at your rolling paper!

My question is: This is the question, please answer it.

How did you answer?

Xiao Wu: This is the answer, please give me points...isn’t it right?

Teacher: Do you call this a problem?

Teacher: You——Okay, next question,

Essay question: What is courage? Why didn’t you answer?

Xiao Wu: I answered!

Teacher: I just wrote five words!

Xiao Wu: (reading) This is courage! That’s right! Then I handed in the paper without answering the following questions. How well I explained courage!

Teacher: You-just wait and die!

Xiao Wu: Teacher! Give me another chance! I failed fifteen times!

Teacher: Then let me ask you two questions. It depends on your luck...

Xiao Wu: Two ways - too many!

Teacher: Okay, the first question is answered correctly! If you don’t answer the second question, I’ll let you pass. How many hairs do you have?

Xiao Wu: It would be nice if I were bald.

Teacher: Answer!

Xiao Wu: 123456789 roots!

Teacher: How do you know?

Xiao Wu: Teacher, I don’t have to answer the second question!

Teacher: OK! very good! very good! Hold it (pass a piece of paper)

Xiao Wu: This is——

Teacher: Re-study! (Part 2)

Xiao Ling, Xiao Ai: Come and study advanced mathematics——

The teacher comes in.

Xiao Ling: English teacher! (Wants to run)

Teacher: Xiaoling, what are you running for? Didn't have breakfast!

Xiao Ling: Didn’t eat——

Teacher: I saw you had eaten in the morning!

Xiao Ling: -Breakfast tomorrow!

Teacher: Xiaoling, look at the paper. None of your reading comprehension is correct! Did you just read the topic and choose it without even reading it?

Xiao Ling: No!

Teacher: How dare you quibble!

Xiao Ling: I didn’t even read the question, I just chose the answer!

Teacher: And your composition! Why does it look familiar?

Xiao Ling: Doesn’t it look familiar? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph...

Teacher: Xiaoling, it’s time for you to wake up! This time you——

Xiao Ling: Ah! Teacher, I have failed five, fifteen, no, fifty times! I can’t hang up anymore!

Teacher: It’s not that I didn’t teach you...this...for example, can you translate what evening dress means?

(To the audience) It’s an evening gown!

Xiao Ling looked at Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu.

Xiao Ai: Evening is at night, best for big games!

Xiao Wu: Dress is clothes, girls are always clamoring to buy them!

Xiao Ling: Oh! Teacher, I understand! It's night clothes!

The teacher shook his head. (Part 2)

Xiao Ling: No, I have to find a teacher! You two, study it slowly! (Part 2)

Xiao Ai: Forget it, Xiaocao is beaten

/lili1234abc Go inside and click on cross talk and other categories. They are all carefully selected from the Internet. Take a good look. There are 50 of them. I wish you success.