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Who comes from mountains, rivers, lakes and seas, but is confined to day and night kitchens and love.

-omnipotent youth society

In his daily life, he always meets many friends who are facing the low point in his life, or his work is not smooth, or his family is not harmonious, or he is unwell.

most of the time, they need someone to talk to, or as an insider, they often think that they can lend him a helping hand and help him out, even if they just listen to him.

But more often, the words are on my lips, but I can't say them with embarrassment. I always want to do something for him, bringing such a breeze to his unhappy days.

what should I do?

why don't you invite him for a hot meal? When you face the unspeakable predicament of your friends or family, but you don't know how to express it to bring him comfort, you might as well invite him to a meal. While the food moistens your body and mind, listen to him explain that the trivial things, happy and unhappy these days, all enter your stomach with food and become the power of life.

Just like "Midnight Food Store", it is better than a thousand words to let his body and mind be relieved with the dishes and let him feel understood and supported on a cold night.

having dinner together can make each other feel better

If you are in a bad mood, invite you to dinner!

This sentence is not just a comforting word to invite friends. In fact, when he is depressed, having a good meal with his friends will make him feel better.

in p>214, Myrte of the free university of Armstrong in the Netherlands published an article entitled "EER (empathic emotion regulation)" in the journal Front Psychol. He collected a large number of emotional and interpersonal studies on providing and receiving food, and after inductive analysis, he finally concluded that expressing support through providing food will make both the provider and the receiver have a positive emotional impact, and both sides will feel closer.

The reason why food can effectively regulate internal emotions is that it has both physiological and psychological characteristics. To put it simply, eating allows us to live, while eating well and eating well brings us both physical and psychological satisfaction.

When Xiaohua first met Master Yan, she thought that Master Yan was a particularly inaccessible guy. Until she had eaten tempura, eel roast in Japanese food store, pork belly in the east barbecue stall, palm treasure, Korean cooking team pot and cheese rice cake together, they began to talk.

Later, Xiaohua often encountered emotional problems, and Master Yan often encountered pressure at work. They often think that two big men can't cry together. They are both people in a foreign land, and no one can talk to them. It's better to have a meal together and drink a little more wine, but a lot of embarrassing words are said like pouring beans. Work pressure and emotional pressure are all accompanied by the warmth of wine and food.

When you talk with your friends, you will be persuaded or tired of the world. When you want to give a hug, you seem embarrassed, and you just want to pay attention and be at a loss. Why don't you have some food?

The research thinks that providing food is a good way to get started and an appropriate expression, regardless of the depth of the relationship, and the connotation conveyed behind the behavior is quite rich, including establishing a relationship, caring about the other person's survival, expressing support and so on.

And when we feel the same way about the dilemma that the other person said, although we can better understand his feelings, we may also make ourselves uncomfortable. Especially when we care about the person in front of us and are quite involved in his story. This is especially true when you really want to help him. This is called substitute trauma, which can be understood as being punched at the same time as listening to the other person's story.

Myrte said that if we provide food to each other and make him feel better, we will feel less uncomfortable without facing a bitter gourd face.

The old taste of memories is a new channel to open the heart

Von Essen and Mrtensson, two environmental psychologists from Swedish universities, published in appetite in 217. How do young people's food-related memories and emotions with important people in childhood affect their resilience to difficulties in later years? Based on dependency theory, they infer that the state of feeding and providing food in infancy will establish the basis of people's understanding and security about the world, themselves and important people around them, and then affect their resilience, that is, resilience in the face of difficulties.

Yuan's parents divorced when she was in primary school. Unlike other children, she didn't go home with hot meals and never ate the dishes cooked by her mother again. She often dined alone, even in high school, she had to prepare her own lunch. She often ate vegetable salads and desserts, and as a result, she gained weight. She deliberately began to control her diet, not only what she ate, but also when she ate. Under pressure, she caused an eating disorder.

after work, she met a lovely person, Kun.

Kun enjoys cooking and loves meat. A Kun often prepares a table of dishes and waits for Yuan to go home. The long-lost feeling of someone waiting to go home makes Yuan wet her eyes. She is not deliberately controlling her diet, nor is she locked in a dark room alone at night.

She remembered when she was a child, when she had dinner with her parents.

She and Kun shared the day's experiences at the dinner table, the company's big and small events, the hot spots on the Internet, and the warmest words were Kun's eyes and the food that warmed his stomach.

We will cook food well, adjust the new habit of dining with others to the old inertia, and even gradually accept that dining is also a kind of social interaction.

The taste in memory is a key to the heart. Whether it's the scene of dining together or the taste of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar in the meal, in this environment, the distance between our hearts is getting closer, and the dribs and drabs of the past and the future have become our strength to encourage each other.

Start a second life with food

Although the dietary experience of childhood will have an impact, we have grown up with this taste memory. If you have good food memories, congratulations, you can make good use of this power to take risks; Without these memories, the research results of von Essen and Mrtensson tell us that life has a second chance to take a new path.

The experience about food includes new experiences and new people in life. Dependency theory argues that developing a sense of security can help people to reflect on their own patterns and be more aware of their motives. After adulthood, you can cultivate resilience by changing your life.

Some experiences will be a second chance to change the path, such as starting a healthier and more resilient relationship and being more optimistic about the future. Having children or a new relationship, these life events connect more opportunities for positive change, including feeling empathy, impressionable and more mature ways to communicate feelings.

whether it's the taste in memory or the delicious food in the restaurant, the warmth from the food on the table soothes everyone's heart. When you are faced with the plight of your friends, or when the memories of your childhood are at a loss, delicious food brings people closer together, and you can have a heart-to-heart drink for a change.

invite one or two close friends to have a meal together!

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