2, Xiaoxian: I really didn't know it on purpose, you can format me!
3. Yifei: You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.
4. Youyou: Please, you are an archaeologist for such an old film!
5. Zi Qiao: Are you still wise? You are a personal name!
6. Zhang Wei: I never eat chewing gum. I can't swallow it.
7. Fairy: I want to eat when I pull my stomach out.
8. Xiaoxian: In the past, TV dramas were all commercials. As soon as the advertisement came out, all the audience went to the bathroom. It is a good thing to insert advertisements into TV dramas now. As soon as the opening song came out, all the audience went to the bathroom!
9, takeaway: The same is Tianya sausage mouth, why is it fried too fast!
Yumo: I'm allergic to time!
1 1, Yifei: As the saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day, except in the microwave oven!
Zi Qiao: I am willing to repay everything with my feelings, including my body!
13, Yifei: If you want to live a good life, you must bring some green ~!
14, Zi Qiao: According to her cooking level, there are bugs in vegetables and wires in the fan!
If Conan were alive, he would be angry with Richard Moore!
16, Guangu: You talk to them until midnight every day, how can they have time to create human beings!
17, Zhang Wei: I was the third runner-up in judo in the summer camp of law school, and I almost became the third runner-up in the last session!
18, Youyou: Quarrel is bad behavior ... Let's fight!
Riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but also a Tang priest ... It is not necessarily a monk who can burn incense, but it can also be a panda ... It is not necessarily a bad person who has tattoos, and it is not necessarily a big bird who can fly, but it may be Li Ning.
The classic line in ipartment: Wan Yu: Little Dragon Girl was raped. Guangu (crazy): Nani (what)? ! That will be a day! Wan Yu (smiling): Yes, it was Yin Zhiping. (continuing to freak out): Stop it! Stop talking about it.
Yifei: I really want to put my size 37 shoes on your size 42 face now! A vegetable can speak better than you. Do you believe it or not? I'll plant you in a flowerpot now! !
The classic line of ipartment: Yifei: Never mind, failure is success. Damn Zhan Bo: I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.
Zi Qiao: Huh? This cup has no mouth! Meijia: You're holding the cup backwards. Joe (upside down): Not only has no mouth, but also has no bottom.
The classic line of ipartment: Meijia: My period came to see me early, and now my waist hurts and my stomach is very uncomfortable. Guangu: Meijia, your period is really good for you, otherwise she will sleep in my room and I will sleep on the sofa today. Wan Yu: Guan Gu, what you said about my holidays is different from what she said about Guan Gu: Oh, are there many holidays in Meijia? Your grandmother is really fertile. I only have one, but I have three little aunts!
The classic line in ipartment: Wan Yu: Did you pass the GRE exam? Passerby: I ... have no aunt Wan Yu: What about TOEFL? Passerby: Thank who?
Wan Yu: Ugly, but ugly is special, just ugly!
Zhan Bo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him? Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is God's business. My task is to send him to God!
Classic lines in ipartment: Zi Qiao: I also want to find a place where my head can be printed on money. Meijia: It's not difficult. Why don't you find a place where you can print money?
Guan Gu (singing): Long Long, you are always two years behind ... Guan Gu (singing): I am not a locust, I am not a centipede, I just want a base brother, perfect love ... Yifei: You are shameless, despicable and unreliable!
Ipartment's classic line: Wan Yu: Dog biscuits are rich in conditioner and dandruff formula. After eating them, the hair disappears without a trace and dandruff is more prominent!
Yifei: Did your mother throw someone away to raise a placenta when she gave birth to you?
Zi Qiao: Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you! Meijia: If you have a caesarean section, I will ... I will wipe the floor again. ...
Xiaobo: I have been divorced for three years, and my son is half a year old.
Ipartment's classic lines: Passers-by: Eat sesame cakes, beer lids, wonton and moth balls, pat flies on nails, go to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and the mobile phone falls into the merit box and can't be taken out.
Sister Flash: Canned sardines are more promising than you! Sister Flash: There is not enough money, the actors are undecided, and the script is temporarily unavailable.
Yifei: I don't think it is reliable at all. Winning the World Cup in China is almost as outrageous as you!
The classic line in ipartment: Lisa: It's you! Ceng Xiaoxian! Ceng Xiaoxian: You know me? Lisa: My classmate's cousin's neighbor and your brother-in-law's cousin are in-laws! Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor!
Ceng Xiaoxian: Hello, everyone, I am your new fairy and good friend. ...
The classic line of ipartment: Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam, and then I was awakened. Something even more terrible happened. It turns out that I'm really taking an exam!
Guan Gu: Isn't The Promise a romantic movie? Zi Qiao: Ha! I can't understand the movie at first sight! ... The Promise is a horror movie!
The classic line in ipartment: Joe: At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was still green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork is safe to eat. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. The mother-in-law doesn't want to marry her daughter, and the father of the child ... knows it very well.
The classic line of ipartment: Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before the age of two, our brains grew together. Fairy: Yes, and then the doctor gave him all Zhan Bo's brains with a sharp knife.
Zhanbo: Let's start with five "Rape Flower Chicken"! Wan Yu (to the waiter): Then we'll take five copies of Rape Chicken Rice Flower and one copy of Philippine: Two prodigies. They are Violent Chicken Rice Flower. Expo: Oh, really, changed its name?
Episode 1: Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He lives in two suites in the same apartment with a girl. Unfortunately, one always goes to the left, and the other always takes the elevator. Joe: It's Chen Yuanyuan, and you? Chen, Ping, Ping!
The first episode: Bus boss (to Zhan Bo): You are a pervert. You either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out of here. What are you twisting? Bus master (to bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in a coin or leave here. what are you reading? (Bodyguard gets off the bus) You can't afford a car, and you pretend to be the matrix, huh!
Ipartment has a brain teaser.
1. Question: Why don't polar bears eat penguins? Answer: Because polar bears are in the North Pole and penguins are in the South Pole.
2. Question: If Ceng Xiaoxian climbs a tree to pick cantaloupes, he can pick one every minute, but if he doesn't pick ten, two will fall. How many can he pick a day? Answer: 0, cantaloupes don't grow on trees. Ceng Xiaoxian's legs are short and he can't climb trees.
3. Question: If there is a car, Xiaoming is driving and Xiaohong and Xiaohua are sitting behind, who is the owner of the car? Answer: If
Question: There are four fingers sticking out, so what are these four fingers called bending? Answer: Great.
5. Question: What turtle walks on two feet? Answer: Ninja Turtles
6. Question: What kind of dog walks on two feet? Answer: Snoopy.
7. Question: What cat walks on two feet? Answer: Hello Kitty.
8. Question: What duck walks on two feet? Answer: Every duck walks on two feet.
1. Question: Who is a person who always uses you to be responsible for him but he is not responsible for you? Answer: banks.
2. Question: When a sow crosses the river, the river can bear 500 kilograms. The sow weighed 300 kilograms, but when she reached the middle of the bridge, it collapsed. Why? Answer: Because she drove across the bridge.
3. Question: Why didn't Hu Yifei die when he fell from 6000m to1000m? Answer: Because she is a shareholder in China.
4. Question: What are the four lines that Friar Sand in The Journey to the West said the most?
Answer: (1) Big Brother, the master was taken away by the monster. (2) Big Brother, the second brother was taken away by the monster.
(3) Second brother, Master has been taken away by a monster.
(4) The elder brother, the master and the second brother were all taken away by monsters.
5. Q: There are twelve kinds of pain in medicine. The first is the pain of mosquito bites, and the twelfth is the pain of pregnant women giving birth. So what is the thirteenth kind of pain? Answer: The pain of pregnant women being bitten by mosquitoes during childbirth.
6. Question: What animals can be attached to the wall? Answer: sealed
7. Question: The tortoise built a house in its shell and got into it. Answer the name of a health care product? Answer: cover the middle cover.
8. Question: Did the tortoise tear down the house and build another one, and then went in to answer the name of a health care product? Answer: The new cover is in the middle.
9. Question: It's the same turtle. He tore down the house, built another house, and then got in and got the name of a health care product. Answer: Super calcium supplement.
10. Question: What is related to you at any time, but you can't see or find it when you need it? A: Relevant departments.
1 1. Question: There were four people playing mahjong in the house, but the police came and took five people away. Why? Answer: Because the person they play is called Mahjong.
12. Question: 26 letters. How many lETters are left after et left? Answer: 2 1, ET is an alien, they took the UFO away.
Love apartment 2 classic lines!
Freeze for three feet, you can't thaw it unless you are in the microwave oven.
Listen to other people's stories and shed your own tears.
What people want to do is not food, but wives.
Since ancient times, anyone who has not died has to die sooner or later ~
At least it's a man, screaming like a little Shenyang.
Bet me that it's not what you want, but what you have.
Two heads are better than one. Smells like Zhuge Liang.
The premise of thinking is to have a brain, right?
Money talks.
Down's performance rule 1: Don't give up the right to speak to your opponent. You must get more lines for yourself. The play was stolen.
Down's performance rule 2: Never let the audience guess the development of the plot.
Down's performance rule 3: create a complete background for the story, preferably involving the grievances of two generations.
……
Down's performance rule 40: The audience will always expect more tangled relationships and more interesting plots.
Face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.
Killing rats with bare hands is more Donnie Yen than Jet Li!