Reader Xiaoyan is a precious mother who has just been pregnant. Her husband told her that it is better to let her mother-in-law come and take care of her, but she is worried about whether there will be any contradiction with her mother-in-law. She analyzed several key factors and quickly made a decision-let her mother-in-law take care of herself in a few months. What made her make such a decision?
Xiao Mo, a reader, is a precious mother who has just given birth to a baby. She finds that her mother-in-law always reports to her husband, making it seem that there is still a gap between herself and her husband, and she is very distressed. But she used a little trick to immediately make her mother-in-law's small report useless. How did she do it?
"making rules" is also a very common means for a scheming mother-in-law to master family power. Because the makers of rules have the power to interpret rules, they must be above the executors of rules. Think about it carefully. Have there been many new rules since your mother-in-law came to your house? For example, what you used to like to eat, but now you can't eat it. You have to eat what your mother-in-law said. ......
These new rules are covered with all kinds of skins-for your own good, for your husband's good, for your baby's good, as is the tradition ... But these new rules have virtually changed the original family behavior rules, and you have changed from the hostess of the family to the executor of the new rules, and you feel more and more uncomfortable.
To deal with this situation, there is a simple but effective way to break the monopoly of mother-in-law's rules-to invite foreign aid to interrupt her mother-in-law's persistent influence on the rules. Because at this time, you have been reduced to the executor of the rules, and you can't effectively resist on your own. But you can move out of your mother, who is as important as her mother-in-law.
let your mother take the initiative to ask her husband to come and see you, stay for a short time, and let her mother-in-law have a rest. Just as you can't directly refuse your mother-in-law's request, your husband will agree to his mother-in-law's proposal. In this way, the long-term influence of the mother-in-law has never been consolidated. Xiaomo just reached an understanding with her husband and let her mother and mother-in-law take turns to take care of themselves, thus solving the problem.
Internally, keep close contact with your husband, share more things about your life with him, don't let your mother-in-law become an information dealer between you and your husband, and master the room for embellishment. Externally, you can interact with your neighbors more. For example, as I said in the previous article, you should take the initiative to join the treasure mom group in the community, be guests and share with each other, and don't let your mother-in-law show her presence all day.
more importantly, you should take the initiative to praise your mother-in-law. You have mastered the channels of public opinion, and if you praise your mother-in-law, outsiders will think that you are dominant and humble, because you define who to give honor to.