(For creation, the article is described in the first person, and the characters involved are all pseudonyms, calling on everyone to stay away from the harm of alcohol addiction and rebuild a better life)

1

Psychological interpretation: What kind of life do people choose? Just as people buy shoes for their feet, only their feet know whether they are suitable or not.

Some people choose wine as a necessity of their own life, which is completely determined by their own psychological foundation: if a baby chooses breast milk as his or her own drink, it is determined by his or her life instinct; Then, when people grow out of infancy and have self-awareness, the drinks they choose will have a psychological basis ...;

Socialized drinking takes it as a medium of interpersonal communication-a tool; If you are addicted to alcohol, it is a disease, and the psychological motivation behind it varies from person to person.

Only by facing the real motivation of drinking, can we know the truth, have the ability and energy to choose to stop drinking, and not be swallowed up by the black hole of the mind and fall into the clutches of alcohol until death.

I was looking forward to Sister Linger coming to live with me, but she never came. Brother-in-law was drinking one night, but Sister Linger advised him to drink less. He didn't listen. He got up as usual and kicked Sister Linger to the ground, cursing, bitch, I'm in charge of you! Fuck you! Why don't you go and heat the soup?

Linger couldn't be more familiar with this scene. She got up silently and turned to the kitchen to heat the soup, so as to avoid more serious beatings. Her body is scarred, thanks to her brother-in-law's drunkenness. She is also a face-saving person, covering her wound and smiling happily in front of people. If you can't hide it, just say that you are not careful. Relatives only say that it doesn't matter if a man beats his wife, and no one will die. When he gets on the kang at night, he will still be a couple, and this day will have to go on as usual.

Relatives also advised Sister Linger to divorce, but she sighed, cried and went back. She could not bear to part with him and her children.

But this life really can't go on. People died, not Linger was killed, but my brother-in-law drank to death.

Brother-in-law suddenly fell to the ground when he was drunk. Sister Linger heard the noise and hurried out to find her brother-in-law in a coma. I quickly found my uncle next door and sent my brother-in-law to the hospital together. After examination, my blood pressure and pulse were all gone. The medical staff rescued me and finally confirmed that I died after being rescued. According to the doctor's examination, the brother-in-law died of sudden illness (acute cerebral hemorrhage).

With her brother-in-law gone like this, Sister Linger has a lot to deal with, bearing a lot of grievances and anger, and the blame of family members, which makes her feel at a loss. It is impossible for her to leave everything behind and come to my house.

I can't comfort her with words, and I can only sigh.

The loss of Sister Linger's coming to the future, the regret for her fate, and the dribs and drabs of memories of me getting along with her make me feel particularly lonely and make my night more and more miserable.

why be a partner? Only Du Kang. I began to miss wine, like a lover, eager and unable to control myself. Whether it's the coolness of the cold beer entrance, the fiery heat brought by Erguotou, or the sour and astringent wine that is soft and lovely to wake up, I miss it. After I came to AA Alcoholics Abstinence Association, meeting, reading and making phone calls became the only way for me to resist this yearning.

2

It's raining outside, especially this year. It was another rainy night, and the sound of the rain made my heart start to hurt gently. Loneliness comes with the wind and rain. I put my hand out of the window and let the rain drop in my palm. At this time, my tears are like flowers. Who will take it?

I went back to a long, long time with my memory, and walked into the yard. I was caught in the rain, not cold, and the smell of the earth made my heart have nowhere to escape. Full of sadness. It makes me dizzy and confused.

? In the distant memory, who picked me up by the roadside and kissed the little me? That kind of nostalgic breath has become the source of my nightmare. ? The back of her drifting away and never looking back left me at a loss, which made me feel insecure all my life. That's my mother's back, but I can't remember her face clearly. I shed tears like flowers on this rainy night.

Tears on my hands turned into flowers of memory, which took me back to the past through time tunnel, the moment when my mother left. ?

I never dared to think about it, never dared to touch it. The cannibal flower that grew in my heart ate my own heart. Time and space are four-dimensional, even if we go back to the past, we are just a bystander, and people can't change history.

me too. ? Can I ask my mother to look back at me? I can't. I stood in the empty wilderness, and the cold wind blew on my face. I looked around, but I saw that everyone was busy. At that time, little me, did I cry like a flower?

If so, that kind of flower must be small, yellow, cabbage flower. In winter, it becomes hard and ice flower. -I think of a Japanese horror film "Hanako", Hanako, a young spirit. ? That ice flower, turned into a flower, stationed in the depths of my heart, will never be free. -I went back in time, but I just watched. -If you can pick up the ice flowers and stick them on the little people's faces, Hanako will be reborn and go to a happy country. I really want to pick up that ice flower, cover it on my chest, let it melt and become the smile of that little man, but I can't. I can only make my heart ache in reality.

I can only watch, that little person, crying his heart out, with a pair of eyes full of bitterness and helpless hands open, with the wind and rain tonight, came at me quickly and gave me a heavy blow, which made me want to vomit blood. Rain dripped down my hair. -My hands are cold. -I can't feel it. Life is still inside me. I can't feel, who is this life in my body? -Is that desperate little man coming to this rainy night through time tunnel? -Otherwise, how could I be so sad?

? "Indus is more drizzling, and it is dripping at dusk. ? This time, what's the best word? Sycamore tree, the night rain. If you don't leave your feelings, you will suffer. ? A leaf, a sound, empty steps dripping until dawn. " ? Tears, like flowers, have finally become, the flower of blood, dissolved in this rainy night, lingering in this life.

I walked back to the living room, took out my own rose made from Erguotou, rock sugar and rose, and drank a large glass. The sweetness and warmth at the entrance made me feel the temperature of life.

the sea breeze said, "if you don't drink the first glass of wine, you won't get drunk." "One cup is too much, but twenty cups are not enough."

I'm stuck in childhood memories, feeling sorry for myself, resentful and unable to extricate myself. I've already picked up my first glass of wine. How can I stop drinking?

I fed myself one cup after another. In the dim eyes, I saw my mother. She was so soft and tender, and with deep love, she hugged me in her arms. My eyes filled with tears, and I murmured: Mom, love me, don't abandon me!

3

I struggled to open my eyes, and I couldn't move. The pain in my wrist reminded me that I had hurt myself again. The wound was deep, my skin was wide open and I cried, telling that the white meat was turned out, and the blood was flowing on the sheets, which smelled dark red.

after coming to AA for 5 days, I experienced drinking again.

I used to be very happy and curious to ask AA members: How do you feel after drinking again? As for the pain? If you don't tell me, who will know that you have resumed drinking?

at this time, I feel great sadness attacking me. After 5 days of stopping drinking and drinking, my body has a sense of strength, and I feel beautiful again. I will even buy new clothes, smell the flowers on the roadside, tease the stray cats in the yard, listen to the birds in the morning and have an AA morning meeting happily.

Now, I'm back in the mud, unable to move, and the self-mutilation wound on my wrist is extremely ugly with coagulated blood. I struggled to get out of bed and came to the living room. The bottle was upside down and the glass fell to the ground. I squatted there, losing my voice in pain.

I picked up the phone, called the member, and cried and said, I'm a nine-tailed cat, and I drank again.

The member said, "Have you had another drink? How do you feel now You didn't drink, did you? "

I said," It's okay, I feel terrible now. I felt that I had pushed myself down. I was so determined to stop drinking, but I resumed drinking. "

Members continued to respond gently:" It's not terrible to drink again. It's terrible to leave AA. Alcohol addiction is a disease. It's not your fault that you get sick. Don't blame yourself. If you have cancer, will you hate yourself for getting cancer? What would you do? "

I said in a faint voice," I will be shocked and sad, but I will go to the hospital and do all kinds of treatments. I can't do nothing, wait for the cancer cells to spread and let myself deteriorate. "

The member said," Yes. Alcohol addiction is also a disease. What you have to do is to stay in AA and keep in touch with everyone. AA is not a person, it is a group, we are blind date with the same disease, I fully understand your feelings. Because I have drunk again, I know that there is nothing I can do, and I know that there is a struggle. "

Just like a boat sailing on a stormy sea, I saw another boat when it was about to sink, trying to grasp the balance and moving forward in the wind and rain, and I felt no longer lonely.

after I stopped drinking for the first time, I coasted in alcohol for four days. Experience the powerlessness in the face of alcohol addiction.

I kept calling, and a member handed me a 24-hour sober card. He said, Give you my sober card, which condensed my sober energy. I hope you will always walk on a clear and bright road in the future. Remember: if you are drinking, please don't wear this card. You must not touch alcohol when wearing this card.

The Sober Life says:

"The root of the treatment is not to hold the glass ..."

We think that we are addicted to alcohol, and we are determined to give up drinking at any cost. But we can't get rid of alcohol control repeatedly (even if hospitalization is ineffective), and we are in pain. Do we really have to die? What can we do to stay awake for a long time?

remember: alcoholism is an incurable, progressive and fatal disease

alcoholism is a progressive and fatal disease. This disease is caused by the body's sensitivity to alcohol and the psychological compulsion to drink alcohol.

At present, there is no medicine or psychotherapy that can "cure"-we can't simply change our characteristics by hospitalization or taking medicine, so as to return to the normal and moderate social drinking state in the early stage of drinking.

thousands of alcoholics can't stop drinking. Not only do we see many alcoholics drink themselves to death ―― they die of D.T.'s syndrome or spasm, or they die of cirrhosis caused by drinking, but many of them actually die from drinking instead of alcoholism.

And when traffic accidents, drowning, suicide, homicide, heart disease, fire, pneumonia or stroke are listed as direct factors of death, the fact is that the serious drinking behavior of alcoholics leads to the conditions and direct causes of death.

most of us are not on the verge of the final stage of terrible alcoholism, so we think it is far away from that fate when drinking now.

but if we keep drinking, there is no doubt that we will only die.

Many alcoholics who can't give up drinking will blame their weak moral values or think it is due to their unbalanced mentality. However, there is nothing morally wrong with drinking, because it is a disease.

At this stage, it can't be overcome by one's own will, because alcoholics have lost the ability to choose freely before drinking.

so we don't need to be embarrassed about our illness, which is nothing to be ashamed of. It's not our fault. We don't want to be alcoholics, and we don't try to get this disease just like no one wants to get pneumonia.

Experience shows that as long as you have a strong desire to give up drinking, fully understand the seriousness of the problem and take care of yourself in a way that is free from alcohol and full of happiness, you can still live a happy, healthy and valuable life like a normal person.

I asked myself again, after this drinking, would I like to stop drinking?

To be continued, please look forward to the previous catalogue of Stop for a Cup and Drink

Stop for a Cup and Drink.