You may have pricked up your ears and wanted to hear a story about Alzheimer's disease: the prelude of a slowly disintegrating marriage, a sad unrequited love and self-loss is being unveiled. But I assure you, this may not be about loss, but about amnesia. What is the truth? See the breakdown below.

For decades, scientists have been looking for people like her. She may be a member of all sentient beings, living an ordinary life, no different from ordinary people who buy food in grocery stores in daily life, but not the same. Sure enough, in 2006, they found her (or she found them).

? No matter what small fortunes and turning points people have experienced so far, or the memories of childhood, they all disappear in my memory like a dodo. .

Mckinnon is the first person we know who has a serious lack of self-memory. Relying on her skillful life skills, she feels comfortable in daily life, but she has forgotten the past that promoted the status quo and a special afternoon that you and I can relive several times in our minds. She has no memory of the plot: the films made from her own perspective. In other words, memory is like a book. You like to read it a thousand times, but you can only associate it with a lonely directory or Wikipedia entry.

? I only remember a few fragments about my childhood? . Mckinnon said, but they are not vivid at all, as cold as their own memories. ? I don't remember the little luck and turning point in my life. I don't even have childhood memories. ? She can accurately guess that the Cayman Islands is located in a hot zone, probably because she and Green have been there many times. ? About 2000 to 20 10 (Cayman Islands travel time). ? She said.

Her experience has disturbed many things we call human nature. The philosopher John? John Locke believes that memory is a symbol of personal identity. It's hard to imagine what life would be like without memory. It is speculated that this will be a disaster. Take last year's blockbuster Pixar movie as an example. If the protagonist loses her core memory, what about her? Island personality? Will fall into nothingness.

Mckinnon doesn't have any core memories, which undoubtedly create personality. Despite her father's objection, as an enlightened white woman, she married a black man without hesitation. As a Catholic, she decided to control the future that religion could not guide. She is shy, sensitive, intuitive, curious and interesting. As a retired expert in Washington state, I have my own hobbies, values, beliefs and opinions, and a close friend, which is enough. She doesn't remember all the anecdotes that made her successful, but she knows exactly who she is. This leads to a question: should memory be an indispensable part of human beings?

Should memory be an indispensable part of human beings?

Music has a powerful ability to awaken memories. Especially for McKinnon's husband, especially when listening to songs written by Motown with seductive and miraculous effects. The beautiful melody seems to have brought him back to his youth. People call it a $25 party. He can spend $25 on a weekend night with a girl in a dark basement in Chicago, accompanied by music. Motown's songs always remind him of the Saturday he and his cousin spent in Regal, a $3 imitation show in Marvin Gaye. It's crowded and stuffy there, and the air is filled with the strange smell of moldy popcorn. They are wearing $65,438+00 Ban-Lon shirts, and the girls are wearing ankle-length long skirts. Most people have colorful hairstyles, but only Green dresses up as if he had just escaped from Africa.

He grinned and described the scene decades ago. This is a story, long before he and McKinnon met as colleagues in an Illinois hospital, and then moved to the west to start a cruise. His first impression of her was:? She is friendly and sexy. Green said. However, for McKinnon, all this spiritual journey is like magic. ? I find it hard to believe. She said.

What we can do is, as psychologists say, as a part of self-awareness, become the protagonist in self-memory and let the past memories repeat themselves in our minds.

Various forms of memory

Memory researchers once thought that there was only one type of long-term memory. However, in 1972, Endel Tulving, a Canadian psychologist and cognitive neuroscientist, put forward a new viewpoint: Long-term memory has many forms. One is semantic memory, which teaches us how to remember spelling words, in other words, learn self-awareness. You may remember how to spell a word, but it is not the way and definition you remember when you first met it at a certain time and place (probably on WIRD).

Tulving believes that self-consciousness is a necessary factor to form another kind of situational memory, which seamlessly integrates time and sensory details like movies. Remember, when you learn self-awareness, plot memory is formed.

Coincidentally, semantic memory came into play, and McKinnon showed Green her love for music. Just like a concert, lyrics and melodies surround her, thanks to her complete semantic memory. Similarly, she remembers a solo three months ago, singing an old English folk song on the stage, but only Green can recall that moment: about how she walked on the stage and sat in front of the piano, the performance made Green almost cry. She thought she must have been full of confidence and fear, but she knew nothing about the truth.

Luckily, she left a recording and we decided to let her listen to it. She went to the living room and turned on the music player. ? Are you ready? She asked herself nervously, and unconsciously slowly retreated from the sofa and dining room chair to the kitchen counter.

The soprano in the living room seems to come from another time and space. ? Smoke and water are huge. That voice is singing. ? I can't get through. ? Mckinnon noticed a trembling voice and surprised laughter, as if it were her first time to perform.

Mckinnon first realized that she was different from others in 1977, when a friend in her high school who was learning how to be a doctor's assistant invited her to take one of his academic homework memory tests. Whenever asked about her childhood, McKinnon always said:? Why do you ask such a question? No one can remember! ? She knows that other people have complete memories, but she always feels that they are making up memories, just like her.

Mckinnon's reaction made her friend very uneasy. She suggested that Mckinnon consult an expert. For nearly 30 years, McKinnon has ignored this proposal. Until one day in 2004, she saw a study on the differences between situational memory and semantic memory written by Endel Tulving.

She learned that Turwin was studying an amnesiac named K.C. at the University of Toronto. When he was 30 years old, the patient had a terrible motorcycle accident. The brain injury caused by the accident affected his plot memory, and he remembered nothing except the last minute or two. Despite this defect, his knowledge of mathematics and history before the accident is still fresh in his memory. In addition, when talking about the new information in the experiment, even if he has no memory at that time, he can still recall the lessons he learned afterwards. This case is the key to Turwin's memory theory.

As far as she knows, McKinnon's brain and life seem to be healthy and complete.

Like McKinnon, amnesiacs usually lose their episodic memory and retain their semantic memory. However, amnesia patients often lose their memory due to brain trauma, developmental disorders or degenerative diseases, which makes them unable to live a normal life. Turwin's research case is very similar to McKinnon's experience. Apart from brain injury, injury or debilitating side effects, as far as she knows, her brain and life seem to be healthy and complete.

An argument in pictures and texts resonated with her. Psychologists think? Some extremely smart and healthy people also lack the ability to remember personal experiences. These people have no memory of the plot. They know what to do, but they don't remember the time. Although such people haven't appeared yet, according to Tulving's prediction, they will appear soon. ?

Tulving is so famous that McKinnon is worried that he can't be reached. Therefore, she turned her attention to Brian Levin, a senior scientist at the rotman Institute of the University of Toronto, who worked closely with Turwin. His professional skills in plot and autobiographical memory caught her attention.

On August 25th, 2006, McKinnon sent an e-mail to Levin, in which he quoted Turwin's theory that healthy people have no situational memory and said: I think I may be the kind of person he described. ?

? I am 52 years old and have a very satisfied and stable life and a good sense of humor. Trying to contact you is a very big (frankly, terrible) leap for me. I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice. ?

? Many people who have the same problem as you have sent me emails. Levin said. ? Susie, I think this is worth further discussion. ? He invited McKinnon to his laboratory in Toronto. His first action with researcher Daniela Palombo was to start looking for some potential physiological or psychological answers about McKinnon's apparent lack of situational memory: it is a nervous system disease caused by trauma or brain injury caused by hypoxia at birth. However, they did not find such a situation in McKinnon.

Then, through the so-called autobiographical interview, Levin reviewed McKinnon's report and found that she really lacked plot memory. Before the interview, his lab team looked up every story about McKinnon's close friend, McKinnon's brother and mother Green, and then tried to check with her.

When Levin and his colleagues asked questions based on the collected stories, when they asked her about her participation in The Sound of Music in high school, she always said that she had no impression, even though she kept asking? Do you remember the scene? This interview seems to confirm that McKinnon has no recognizable plot memory.

? If people can live well without situational memory, why should we put it in the first place in human evolution?

Is situational memory really important?

Soon, Levin found that two healthy people also lacked plot memory. Both of them are middle-aged men with successful careers. One of them has a doctorate and the other has a long-term relationship. He gave them a series of the same experiments and treated his three patients with magnetic resonance imaging. The results show that the key part of the brain to know oneself is not very active, and the ability of spiritual travel and the key activities of forming plot memory have a key impact on self-understanding.

From 2065438 to April 2005, Levin published the neuropsychological research of McKinnon and two others. Since then, hundreds of people who claimed to have serious defects in self-memory have contacted Levin's team. He asked everyone to take a series of tests, and the results confirmed that only a dozen cases had such problems. This result shows that the discovery of McKinnon and two others is not a fluke. ? This has caused considerable problems. Levin said. ? Memory If people can live well without situational memory, why should we put it in the first place in human evolution? How long will they last?

She is different and lucky, which is how she feels after staying in McKinnon for a long time. Memories will leave a deep impression on others, but only a little will be left for her. 1986 When the couple lived in Arizona, Green was bullied by a group of white people every time he went fishing. When he got home, his head was covered with scars. ? She cried while helping him with cold compress. Green said. Then he cried, too. They were very scared.

Mckinnon learned the cruel facts of the story again, but only Green knew the details and painful memories. For McKinnon, memory will not cause the trauma and fear associated with it. She said:? I can imagine my anxiety and fear, but I don't remember anything. I can't turn back. I can only imagine what it should look like ?

Soon they forgot the quarrel, which may be the reason why she and Green have been together for so long, she joked. She doesn't complain, and she is not familiar with the feeling of regret because of aging. The yearbook photos of 1972 show that she used to be a petite beauty with delicate face, fairy head and dark skin. (? Stupid and childish? Looking at the photo, she said. She knew it was her, but she put the photo on the other side, because in her heart, she has always been a 60-year-old woman with wide and flat shoulders, gray hair and a pink face full of years. She doesn't know what haunts her memory, she only knows that they are necessary for those past.

More than ten years ago, a woman named Jill Price showed the opposite state to McKinnon and attracted the attention of scientists at the University of California, Irvine. Researchers call it hyperthyroidism syndrome, or an excellent autobiographical memory. Price has an extraordinary ability. For her, everything in her life is vivid:1984 July 18, on a quiet Wednesday, it seems that even a needle fell to the ground. She wrote in her memoirs that this is the second time she has read the book in a flurry. It was raining when the last episode of M*A*S*H was broadcast on Monday, February 28th 1983. The next day, when she was driving, the wipers suddenly went on strike. These scenes seem to have just happened. She knows every detail.

Compared with McKinnon, Price was unknown, but her deeds immediately caused a sensation in the media. Diane sawyer found her on the front page of every page? Heroic deeds? Her strong memory seems to have turned her into an enviable superman.

However, researchers at the University of California, Irvine and a report in Wired magazine point out that Price's excellent memory ability is accompanied by a paranoid obsessive-compulsive disorder, which drives her to record all the details accurately. This seems to have something to do with her moving to Los Angeles as a child, which is still rooted in her heart today? Trauma? Related. Until she was 40 years old, she still lived with her parents and took pains to record every little thing with piles of paper.

All this is just to say: obviously, when a person has extremely unusual memories, our culture has no ability to teach us to choose the object of jealousy.

You might say that McKinnon can rely on technology to make up for her amnesia. After all, she lives in an era of mass production by software companies. Facebook is a platform that can carry virtual autobiographical memories, and Google Photos can make you go back in a trance: artificial intelligence software will directly enter your photo library, bring up vivid faces and vivid events, and automatically generate small videos full of plot memories. Other tools will record your life through words, and build a traceable database for your memory through emails, calendar reminders, homework, voice mails, texts, photos, videos and other recording forms.

However, McKinnon lost his enthusiasm for recording. Once, she decided to keep a diary to commemorate herself. ? But after two or three days, I lost my enthusiasm. ? She said. ? If I have fear (fear of losing my memory), I may be obsessed with capturing every moment, but I have never experienced those moments, let alone obsessed. ?

She sometimes uses email as a useful reference, but that's all. She never pays attention to social media, has no Pinterest account or Instagram account, and her only Facebook account is idle, which can't attract her attention at all.

Even though she has her own Facebook page, she rarely uploads photos and videos. She once photographed their departure on a Caribbean cruise with a rented camera, but she said that she suddenly felt bored. She said that she never takes pictures because they don't have the capital to attract attention. Sure enough, you can't find any photos on the couple's refrigerator, bookshelf and wall, and there are no photos about the seaside. You can only find a frameless wedding photo and some photo albums in the office upstairs.

Mckinnon closed the photo album recording her and Green's court wedding at 198 1 in Maywood, Illinois. One of the photos recorded the surprised expression of a friend standing on the steps outside looking at the newlyweds. There's another record, Green. Open one? Surprise? Gift: The embarrassing scene of four cats having sex with each other. Like a god, can this photo album help McKinnon? Restore memory? . But she said that through these photos, she seems to be watching someone else's wedding, which has nothing to do with herself.

But she still got something today. She knew the scene on their wedding day. When we were looking at this photo album, Green also mentioned his best friend who attended their wedding. But McKinnon said? I don't know where she is. ? As a photographer, she (the best friend who attended the wedding but didn't appear in the photo) is nowhere to be found.

I feel that anyone can make mistakes: Do we always forget who is behind the camera? Even if the photographer is himself.

Like a god, can this photo album help McKinnon? Restore memory? .

We clearly see that McKinnon can become like a normal person even without using technology. It is conceivable that in the future, technology can also make us become McKinnon. In the past eight months, my iPhone has stored 12 17 photos and 159 videos. By browsing these pictures, my memory will become blurred, an experience that some researchers call? Photo damage effect. ? These photos will be automatically stored in the cloud to reduce my burden of facing these huge memories, but it will also short-circuit my brain in the process of forming plot memories.

? What will happen if human beings lose some ability? Mckinnon asked during our conversation, which seems to alert me. ? If technology can replace it, what will mankind lose? Will the human experience change, bring benefits or bring disasters? Or is it just a change?

I heard McKinnon sobbing. We were sitting in the dark cinema of Olympia Central Shopping Center, and I saw her crying out of the corner of my eye. Most of the plots in Inside Out describe the psychological activities of a girl named Riley 1 1 year-old. When the cartoonist in the control room rescued her from the psychological disaster, she was on the verge of collapse: her key memory-the small luminous sphere repeatedly played on the video screen-disappeared. In other words, when Riley's personality structure began to collapse, her core memory disappeared.

Although this disaster is like a true portrayal of her life, McKinnon likes this movie very much. Mckinnon laughs when we talk about personality island, core memory and Riley's consciousness in the control room. ? If I have a memory, she said? I wonder if it will affect the brain headquarters. ? )

I was surprised to find that she doesn't like to record stories in life, but she likes to read stories, especially those with fantasy and science fiction themes, such as Game of Thrones and The Hunger Games. She has read all the relevant books and movies but can't remember anything, but it's better because every review is her first experience. There is another thing that makes me jealous: she will not be affected by spoilers. )

But she can't make up lies, daydream or think blindly. This kind of unimaginative amnesia is common. Most of us can imagine the scene on the beach. For example, we can imagine holding a glass of fruit juice rum ice wine (pi? Colada) lounging on a stool, enjoying the rough waves and sand flowing between his toes. When McKinnon tries to imagine this, she may add a hammock to the scene. ? There may be a palm tree. But when I tried to catch the palm tree, the hammock was gone. ? She can't integrate scattered images into a complete puzzle. She can't play chess, although her husband is a good chess player. ? I can only have one action in my mind. ? In other words, she can't look back on the past or look forward to the future.

We did a lot of things that day, we tasted delicious food, we chatted, and we wandered around the shopping center. Although she doesn't remember any details, she doesn't mind the fact. When most of us are concerned about gains and losses, McKinnon only exists in the beauty of her own writing. There is no incitement and conflict in that world, and you will not be anxious or panic in the face of the result. She effortlessly achieved some people's lifelong efforts: she lived in the present.

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