Truth 3: For China people, marriage is a practice. That is, the process of adding a reinforcing agent to the feelings of marriage.

At the beginning of marriage, most people are bound together because of love. But a well-known psychologist abroad found that love can only last for two and a half years at most.

With the passage of time, the emotions maintained by love in marriage are gradually decreasing, so we need to make up for it with other emotions. With what emotions? What do you need to add?

friendship. This is the most important emotion in marriage, and friendship is also the feeling of mutual help. Never ask for help from each other, and always give help. Many marriages don't even have friendship, and even you will find that many people treat their friends better than their lovers, which is ridiculous and problematic.

love. True love is falling in love with each other's shortcomings.

affection. That is, brotherhood That is, the younger brother will never abandon his sister, the elder brother will always care for his younger sister, the elder sister will always take care of his younger brother, and the younger sister will always warm his brother.

sympathy. Compassion is not high-low sympathy, but more like a kind of * * * feeling. It is to practice oneself, make up for the deficiency brought by family of origin, and give what your lover lacks to make up for his deficiency. This is a very, very important emotion in marriage.

kindness. Stay with each other for life and be grateful to each other. When the hair is gray, help each other and walk in the afterglow of the sunset. This is the most beautiful emotion in the world.

Wen Ling added the above things to her marriage through love and happiness. Finally, she felt:

Time has never stolen our passion. It has always been in our hearts, just like our initial heart when we fell in love and got married. It has always been there, never leaving us, and we just need to turn around and find it and embrace it; We need to grow up in marriage.

how has she changed? How did she add a marriage enhancer? Please read:

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Step 1: Arm yourself with correct ideas

At the beginning of June p>218, a special opportunity-my husband's company invited love and happiness to open a Beijing "enterprise+home" seminar, and my husband entered the class of love and happiness.

He was so convinced of Mr. Zheng Wei's theoretical system that he couldn't wait to sign me up for the Qingdao basic class at the end of the month before the course was over.

I remember my husband was very happy when he came back from class, and told me not to be anxious. There are ways to solve the children's problems.

I asked my husband what to do, and he said that you would know after the class. If you ask again, he will tell me a few knowledge points and cases.

I think what Mr. Zheng said is very reasonable, but it's just recognition, and I don't think it has much to do with myself.

My husband said that he was very helpless during that time, because I didn't attend the class. Although he understood, he couldn't say that I couldn't argue with me, but just endured and waited.

After listening to the basic class for three days, my original cognition was subverted. Only then did I understand that true love needs to be learned, and children's education, marriage stability and family happiness need a set of truth to guide, not the experience of both of us.

I am ignorant and fearless, and I don't know it. I have messed up the system at home. I am the culprit of all the problems at home. I have to change myself! Follow the class group and move forward bit by bit.

Step 2: Make clear the direction of change and change yourself firmly

After the initial chicken blood period, I suddenly lost myself for a while. There are too many places to correct mistakes. I haven't done a good job in the relationship between husband and wife, parent-child relationship and filial piety. I feel that I am not good at anything and I don't accept myself very much. It seems that I have changed it for so long, and it has not had much effect. I really don't know where to change it.

So, during that time, I went crazy to find the voice sharing of my family's life story in Litchi Station.

At that time, I listened to many family life stories. I clearly remember that after listening to the life story of Li Min, a teacher in Zhanjiang, I found my way.

Because many people are telling everyone the same thing with their own personal experiences: that is, the relationship between husband and wife is a hurdle that no one can bypass, and the shortcut to practice must first pass the relationship between husband and wife.

I remember that I excitedly sent a message of gratitude to Mr. Li Min. In fact, it's ridiculous to think about it. Teacher Zheng made it very clear in class, but it's hard for us to do what we are told, and it's easy to get lost when we really face ourselves.

because it's too difficult to change yourself. Often emotional, I want to ask my husband's approval if I change a little. When I can't get it, I will easily go back to my original shape, and I love it repeatedly!

Fortunately, my husband has been practicing with me, and he has been very tolerant and receptive to my repetition.

Every time I feel sad because I can't control my emotional outbursts, my husband is particularly happy. He often tells me that the process of spiritual practice is just like a sinusoidal curve, and it is wrong to have ups and downs, make progress slowly and keep working hard. My husband's acceptance makes me particularly motivated to change myself!

change will be accompanied by growth, and it will hurt to really see yourself.

I remember seeing myself deeply for the first time because the school asked the children to write comments for their fathers. After writing, they sent them to the family group. Other children could find the bright spot of their fathers, but their sons were perfunctory.

Dad was a little disappointed when he saw it, so I was very anxious. I thought my son couldn't feel his father's love at all! Leave a message in the family group immediately and explain it to my son.

I hope my son worships his father in my heart, and I also hope that my son can get enough appreciation and trust from his father.

This behavior was caught by Mr. Wu Ji, who asked me to look inside and see what kind of person I am. That question brought me to a dead end. I didn't dare to think about it for a few days. As long as I thought about it, tears could not help falling.

Because when I looked inward along this question, I saw such a bad self, and this state of my son and father was caused by me.

the truth is that I have never really respected my husband, nor have I ever felt sorry for him, let alone surrendered!

Looking deeper, I see that in my family of origin, I have never felt sorry for and worshipped my father who worked hard and worked hard all his life! I never realized that the good qualities I have in myself actually come from my father's influence!

That sight also made me firmly believe that children's problems are symptoms of husband-wife relationship problems, and husband-wife relationship problems are symptoms of personal cultivation problems. In the process of adding a reinforcing agent to marriage, you need to have a high personal accomplishment and moral realm!

If I want to break the entanglement with my son, I will practice the relationship between husband and wife, and the key point of the relationship between husband and wife is to love the elderly on both sides first.

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Step 3: If you want to love your lover, first clean up the mark brought by family of origin.

Because we don't live with the elderly, although there are conflicts in family relations or conflicts in education, unlike other families, my family ethics is also abnormal.

Because of this sight of my father, I also saw my indifference and indifference to my stepmother over the years, and I began to repair my relationship with my stepmother.

I often call them, and when I think of something suitable, I will buy it and send it. Unexpectedly, one day in winter, I received a package full of love from my stepmother. When I opened the package, the warm current of love suddenly flowed through my body.

At that time, I was in tears. I felt the love of my mother from family of origin, and I had a magical link with my stepmother!

After that, our relationship has been maintained very well. Now we also want to video and chat for ten minutes every day. I feel my father's happiness and satisfaction, and I am filled and nourished by this love every day. ?

Step 4: If you want to love your lover, love your mother-in-law first, so that the family ethics can be normalized first.

after we moved to Nanjing, my mother-in-law lived with my aunts in Xinjiang most of the time because she was not used to the southern climate. I didn't have much contact with my mother-in-law, and my two children and grandmother couldn't get close.

Last year, my mother-in-law was eighty years old. We invited her and her husband's four sisters and several children of the next generation to Hangzhou. With the help of teachers Qiming, Liping and many family members, we celebrated her eightieth birthday with love and happiness!

In that beautiful energy field, the children led the next generation to bow down to grandma, and grandma was very happy! The next generation also had a good feeling, and the two children of her husband's two sisters also took courage because of that opportunity and went out of Xinjiang to exercise and develop in the mainland.

After that, Grandma went to Yihe's filial piety camp. In that powerful energy field, Grandma's life has also been nourished and blossomed. Now Grandma is very happy every day, insists on exercising, and has been shouting slogans in the filial piety group. Grandma said that she would live to be 12 years old!

in this process, my husband gave me unconditional support!

Gradually, the entanglement between my son and me became less and less. The old people at home were happy and at ease, and our relationship between husband and wife became better and better. I could see my husband's good and her bad more and more, and gradually I found a heart that was distressed by my husband!

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Step 5: Add friendship, love, affection and sympathy to the marriage.

Mr. Zheng said in class that in family relations, the lover should be put first, and women should worship and submit to their husbands. I really want to worship my husband, but my heart can't find that feeling.

My husband works hard and has been working hard for this family. I admire and feel sorry for him. My husband is versatile and humorous, and I admire him. My husband is filial, honest and loving to his family and friends. I am proud of him ... but there always seems to be some distance from worship.

My heart: Love and happiness say that we should worship and surrender our lover, not to surrender this person, but to worship and surrender the laws behind this person.

In December last year, my husband met something and felt extremely depressed. I felt so bad for him that I started unconditional companionship.

My husband likes to drink a little wine, so I accompany him to drink and chat every day. My husband likes to watch big movies, especially those with intense exciting scenes. I heard Mr. Zheng say that men like to watch this kind of movies, which is a need to release pressure, so every weekend, I accompany him to watch his favorite big movies.

Slowly, my husband will tell me something, and I know that my husband's work in the past two years has been very difficult, but he always chooses a person to bear it silently, fearing that I will never say anything.

I used to know that my husband worked very hard, and he often said: As long as people have pursuit, physical fatigue is a kind of exercise, and they are not afraid of hardship, but they are afraid of bitterness in their hearts! I didn't expect that his heart was really so bitter.

after knowing this, I felt uneasy and complaining in my heart, but I was worried that my husband would not be able to cheer up and dare not show this emotion, so I hid it deeply in my heart, and from time to time I discussed with my husband the truth of walking the red line, looking inward at myself and breaking love.

What I didn't expect was that my husband has been looking inward at himself. He sees his own problems very clearly, but he chooses to accept and forgive others' problems.

My husband and I told the story of the abbot raising a baby, hoping that what he saw in his eyes was each other's life. After listening to it, my husband said to me very touching: the company is brought up by him, just like his children, the future and destiny of the company are the most important. As long as it is good for the company, personal honor and disgrace are not important! My husband's pattern and feelings are much higher than I thought!

in this exchange, I felt the power of the powerful letter that my husband passed on to me. I was supposed to accompany and comfort my husband, but I was comforted by my husband. My restless heart has settled down again.

in this exchange, I have raised my admiration for my husband! When you encounter so many things, you can still do it without blaming or complaining, and stick to your faith and love! My husband's selflessness and strong ability to believe conquered my heart. I know that I admire my husband's simple and powerful heart and selfless and noble heart.

what I didn't expect was that since I found the heart to worship my husband, beauty has come to me.

This Spring Festival, due to the epidemic, I will naturally slap my husband for more than an hour every day. My hands are heavy when slapping, but my husband can fall asleep quickly and snore everywhere! He really needs to relax! I'm embarrassed after slapping my husband every time, and I have to pat me a few times.

We prepared delicious food for the children together, and the whole family laughed and laughed. My husband's mood also improved quickly, and the piano that I haven't played for nearly 2 years has also moved out. The first song played is the "Textile Girl" that carries too many good memories for us.

On that day, the cherry trees outside the window were blooming, and the trees were full of cherry blossoms. My husband and I snuggled up to the window and felt that life was particularly beautiful and satisfying.

I asked my husband to play the song "Textile Girl" for me again. I haven't played it for many years. My husband can't play it anymore. I dug up the music and tried it a little. I smiled and asked my husband if he didn't regret marrying me. I was so excited by my husband that I sang a song "Rain in the Forest" in one go. My husband said: Live up to the spring!

the drizzle is crisp and green, deep in the courtyard. As COVID-19 raged, it didn't stop, and it was spring. Last night, a good wind came into the house, blowing flowers and trees. Take advantage of time, feast for the eyes, cherish spring, why stay in spring.

The flowers care for each other in a song, and if you cut the candle, you will make Weaver jealous. Twenty-three years, no regrets. Holding hands, my thoughts are dancing with cherry blossoms. I feel so romantic that my heart is like a cloud.

This word has been 22 years since my husband wrote me a love poem! My husband and I have found the good feeling of being in love again, and people seem to be much younger at once.

two days later, I chatted with my husband and recalled that I had moved several times in Beijing, Shandong and Nanjing to support his career for so many years, but I didn't feel the pain of wandering, because my husband always gave me the feeling of peace of mind, "My peace of mind is my hometown."

My husband was very moved by this sentence, so he started to write another song "Eternal Joy":

Gengzi is new at the age, and he is everywhere in COVID-19. Spring is lonely, but it's a pity that there is no one to enjoy the flowers and the grass. A window of cherry blossoms, brilliant atrium, hard to rival endless amorous feelings. In this situation, it will be three or five days, and it will be called a full spring addiction. ?

I feel comfortable at home after a few times, and I have never been sentimental. Ten years of entrepreneurship, sweat and tears, why bother to pursue. I will be half a hundred years old, and I will look at the mirror. Stay from scratch, set up a young ambition, and fight for another ten years.

My husband said that I rekindled the passion in his heart! These are all beautiful things that we never thought of, and everything comes naturally and quietly.

Now I know:

Time has never stolen our passion, it has always been in our hearts, just like our initial heart when we fell in love and got married, it has always been there and never left us.

We just need to turn around and find it and hug it.

We only need to grow up in marriage;

only need to operate with morality, responsibility, sincere dedication and even sacrifice;

As long as we respect each other, help each other in the same boat and add a lot of love and affection to our marriage.