Especially at the dinner table, the daughter-in-law can feel her mother-in-law's respect for herself best from the food, because they may have different tastes. A mother-in-law who respects her daughter-in-law will cook another dish that suits her daughter-in-law's taste, while a mother-in-law who does not respect her daughter-in-law will only cook it according to her own and her son's taste.
At the class reunion, Lei Lei told me that she thought she married a reliable man, but because of her mother-in-law's vitriol, the relationship between husband and wife has been very bad, and even ended in divorce.
Lei Lei is my college roommate. She volunteered to go outside the province, so she came to Guangdong. She and I are best friends in college. We signed up for the student union together, met many people in the student union, and met her future husband Wang Hao in the student union. After they met, they talked about romantic love, and everyone thought that they would eventually make a positive result.
Wang Hao is a native of Guangzhou, so he hesitated whether to stay in this city for development when he graduated. Wang Hao was very kind to Lei Lei, which made her realize that it was difficult to meet such a man, so she decided to stay in Guangzhou for development.
When they really reached the age of marriage, she told her family about her love affair and brought Wang Hao back to her home. Lei Lei's parents are satisfied with Wang Hao, but there is one problem that is hard to choose-marrying far away.
In fact, Lei Lei's parents are very dissatisfied with her long-term marriage. Although she is the youngest daughter in the family, she also hopes that her daughter can be closer to herself. Lei Lei is in a dilemma, one is her parents and the other is her lover. Her parents were embarrassed to meet her and thought that Wang Hao loved her, so they said to Lei Lei, "We agree to this marriage. You can get married. Your brother is still at home. Just take care of yourself. "
When women are young, they don't think too much. They think that love is the most important thing at present, but they don't know how worried and reluctant their parents who are far away from home are.
After a long marriage, Wang Hao knew her thoughts and her parents-in-law's worries, so she was very kind to her and gave in to Lei Lei. They love each other and their marriage is very happy. Everyone thinks that they can grow old together, and this kind of campus love goes to the wedding hall and really envies others.
But until one day, my father-in-law died of illness and my mother-in-law lived alone. Wang Hao is afraid that her mother-in-law will feel lonely and always feel sad, so she lives with her mother-in-law. It was also at this time that their two-person world was broken and the beautiful marriage began the countdown rhythm.
At first, I thought it was nothing. Wang Hao's filial piety is understandable, and she is also very filial to her mother-in-law. Everything means being obedient to your mother-in-law After living for a month, I found myself thinking too simply. After my mother-in-law moved in, her mother-in-law was responsible for three meals a day, because her mother-in-law felt that Lei Lei couldn't take care of herself before and she didn't take care of her son.
After all, she is the youngest daughter in the family and the most favored one in the family. Lei Lei is a bit extravagant in spending money. My mother-in-law is also very upset because of this, and she always talks about her spending money indiscriminately.
Lei Lei is a hot Hunan girl, and her eating habits naturally like heavy and spicy food. When she meets something she doesn't usually like to eat, she will never take a bite. My mother-in-law once said that she was melodramatic in these matters. Since the mother-in-law moved in, great changes have taken place in the couple's lives, and there are many invisible rules at home. Lei Lei is actually very unhappy.
Although after her mother-in-law came, she was responsible for their three meals a day, but her mother-in-law never asked Lei Lei what she liked to eat, and always cooked according to her own taste and her son's taste. Actually, it's nothing. Just add some Chili sauce when she eats it herself. As soon as the mother-in-law saw her daughter-in-law, she said, "This should be eaten separately, without a bite of rice." This is embarrassing. I feel uncomfortable every time I eat, so I naturally have no appetite.
In order not to like the dishes cooked by my mother-in-law, I used to eat every dinner, picked up my mobile phone and ordered mala Tang takeaway that I had been thinking for a long time. As a result, my mother-in-law knew, and her mother-in-law said, "Isn't it a waste of money to order takeout? If you really don't want to eat, don't eat my cooking in the future. "
This also makes my mother-in-law very angry. She hasn't cooked for several days, which makes her feel embarrassed every time she comes home.
Recently, the price of pork is a master of speed. My mother-in-law knows the pressure of their mortgage repayment, so she wants to save a little on her diet, so she eats light meals every day, and sometimes even buys her son chicken legs. In fact, Lei Lei was very wronged and called her mother. Although she didn't tell her about her present situation, her mother knew her very well and came all the way to Guangzhou to visit her.
Lei Lei was very happy when he learned this. He specially took a half-day off to buy a lot of vegetables and two Jin of ribs and went home to cook a delicious dish. It was nothing special. Unfortunately, Wang Hao had to work overtime in the company that day, so she couldn't go home to have dinner with them. Lei Lei has been busy all afternoon, and she is already hungry. When her mother-in-law finished the last dish, she wanted to move chopsticks. But her mother-in-law stopped her and said discontentedly, "If your husband doesn't come back, you won't be able to eat. Don't you know that our family has this rule? "
Lei Lei said, "My mother came all the way here today, so I can't let my mother starve. Besides, Wang Hao worked overtime and told us not to wait for him. "
"Call you wait a minute, what's the matter with overtime? You can eat later. It's good to eat later. Knowing that my son is still cooking so many dishes after working overtime, I don't want my son to eat. "
The two chatted for a long time, and the original warm atmosphere at the dinner table was full of gunpowder.
When his mother signaled him to stop talking, Lei immediately sent a message to Wang Hao, telling him to go home quickly. As a result, she waited for Wang Hao for more than an hour that day, and the food was cold.
Later, after her mother returned to Hunan, her mother-in-law said to Lei Lei, "In the past, when pork was more than ten yuan a catty, I bought it to eat. Pork is so expensive now, ribs are more expensive, and your mother is not a guest. Why did you buy it so well? Did you buy anything good for your mother when you knew my son was away? If you go on eating like this, this family will be eaten by you sooner or later, and my son will be eaten by you sooner or later! "
This sentence made Lei Lei unbearable. She said angrily to her mother-in-law, "Our family's economic conditions are not so bad, and I am also a moneymaker. What's wrong with eating a sparerib? " Did my mother finally come all the way to make her a vegetarian? "
It was also because of buying spareribs that my mother-in-law chatted with Lei Lei for several days. Whatever Lei Lei said to Wang Hao, he would say, "It doesn't matter. My mother likes to nag. Just don't care. She said angrily, "I can't live this life." Let's divorce. My family is miserable! "! "
After a long time, Lei Lei could not be defended by her husband in her marriage, which made her strong mother-in-law breathless. Her mother-in-law doesn't respect herself at all, and she doesn't know how to respect her family, which makes Lei Lei feel that her mother-in-law doesn't regard herself as family. A month later, Lei Lei also figured it out, so she asked Wang Hao for a divorce. Lei Lei thinks it's not too late for them to divorce because they have no children. If they have children, it is difficult to divorce.
In fact, everyone has their own living habits. After marriage, it is possible to unify the living habits of two people as much as possible. Once another person joins, reunification will be more difficult. Everyone has different tastes. Whether between husband and wife or between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is normal to have different living habits.
As far as Lei Lei is concerned, if you like spicy food, you can add some Chili sauce to solve it yourself, but it seems inappropriate for your mother-in-law. Mother-in-law is too strong to protect her daughter-in-law, and will only squeeze her regardless of her daughter-in-law's feelings, so as to deal with family relations. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually very small, but it can ruin a marriage.
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both sides should reflect. Since their living habits are different, they should try to make some changes for each other. Even if it remains unchanged, we should respect each other's eating habits and seek common ground while reserving differences. For example, in the matter of taste, the mother-in-law knows that her daughter-in-law loves spicy food, and she can cook a spicy dish for her alone, which will make her feel that this mother-in-law cares about herself and her daughter-in-law will be more filial to her mother-in-law.
For this man caught between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is more important to correctly handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It can't always be indifferent. After a long time, the contradiction finally broke out and the happy family was broken. So take care of your wife's feelings, don't always ask her to bear it, and don't always be partial to your mother and let her be wronged. Doing this "middleman" well is also a compulsory knowledge for men.