Text/An Feng

This article is written for all psychological workers and people suffering from social anxiety!

Hello everyone, my name is An Feng. I had suffered from severe social phobia and stuttering phobia for more than 20 years. I successfully got rid of the social phobia that had troubled me for many years through self-help without seeing a doctor, taking a single pill, or anyone’s help. I currently work in social phobia, self-confidence improvement and super speech coaching training.

For outsiders, the problem of social anxiety may be incomprehensible, incomprehensible, and incredible. They don't understand why something so natural as socializing can make someone with social anxiety nervous and unable to let go. They fail to understand why nervousness causes sociophobia so much pain. They are even more surprised that sociophobic people frequently avoid social interaction.

These symptoms of sociophobia that are incomprehensible to ordinary people, to those in the social horror circle, are like overturning a spice jar. Because their feelings about social terror are indeed real. Therefore, people with social phobia have a unique say in the painful feelings caused by social phobia!

They love social terror to the core! It hurts to the bone! Hate to the core of my bones! Helpless to the core!

They love the society so much that they are reluctant to throw it away. They must always have it by their side to be satisfied. Even if social fear makes them feel heartbroken, the pain is too much to bear, and the pain makes them want to run away, they are still willing to hold it in their arms! How many sleepless nights have they cried secretly because of the pain of social fear and secretly made up their minds, vowing that if they could not tear the social fear into pieces in this life, they would not be human beings. It’s a sincere oath that makes the internet shake the world and make the gods and ghosts weep!

It stands to reason that people with social phobia should understand social phobia if they have such close contact with social phobia. But this is really not the case! Just like a couple who live together at the same time, there will be a huge gap in their lives. You may not know the person you sleep with at all. Although couples who are like soul mates do exist, they are only a handful after all! Social fear is also the same principle. Even though the social fear person has been in close contact with the social fear person for many years, it is really like a couple who has lived together for many years but does not understand each other at all and is not even of the same mind. Therefore, if you don’t understand your significant other, you will naturally not be able to handle your significant other, and you will not be able to make him happy. There is nothing you can do when he cheats on you, and you can only let cuckolds be put on your head one after another. Because the person next to you is nothing more than the most familiar stranger to you!

But why? Why don’t you know your significant other? Sometimes, what makes people happy together really depends on fate!

The youngest social terrorism student I have come into contact with is only 9 years old, and the oldest is over 70 years old. Most of the students are between the ages of 18 and 45. She fear has been with them for so many years and so long. She fear is their close friend, but do they really understand She fear? In fact, for those with sociophobia themselves, sociophobia is just a familiar stranger to them! Socially phobic people actually don’t understand their own social phobia!

Therefore, even those who are troubled by social fear have close contact with social fear, close contact, regardless of the contact between you and me, the inseparable contact for so many years... so many years... .doesn’t understand social fear, let alone people who have never experienced social fear. Of course, they don’t understand social fear!

Without direct contact, there is no right to speak!

So this is why when a person troubled by social fear seeks help from a psychological counselor, he always goes away with full of hope, but returns full of sadness and disappointment. root cause!

You may have questions after writing this. You want to tell us that ordinary psychological counselors have never experienced social terrorism, right? Have those psychological counselors really never experienced social anxiety?

This is a good question.

Let’s put it this way: Friends who have psychological problems, especially those who have received psychological counseling, especially those who are familiar with the psychotherapy industry, should know this truth, that is - —Most people who are interested in psychology or psychotherapy are people who currently have or have had mental disorders or severe mental disorders in the past.

In other words, if a person is interested in psychology and psychotherapy, we can definitely say that he has probably had or is having serious psychological problems! Because only when he has serious psychological problems, he will pay attention to psychology and study it persistently. The more persistent a person is in the study of psychology, the more serious his or her psychological disorder may be! Therefore, those of us in psychology may have had very serious psychological confusions.

I am no exception!

This truth is actually easy to understand. Just like the reason why a person pays attention to something means that he is lacking in it in his heart. Only when a person is hungry will he pay attention to and be interested in food. People who are interested in studying food are mostly people who are delicious or have some craving for food.

Just like what Jolin Tsai said in a song "Heard Love Comes Back", "Love is a need and a lack, so we all like love songs..."

The same is true for psychological disorders. Only when a person is psychologically confused will he want to use psychology to make up for his shortcomings. But can psychology meet the needs of people with psychological distress (here narrowly referred to as social phobia)? Can psychology really help them get rid of their psychological confusion?

I once watched a CCTV program called "The Road to Health", and the topic of that episode was "stuttering". One of the guests invited by the program team is a psychiatrist who has been engaged in stuttering correction for many years, and the other two are rehabilitation students from other stuttering correction classes (no relation to the stuttering correction doctor). Together with the host *** four people.

Needless to say, the eloquence of CCTV’s hosts must be the best and one of a kind. For example, Cui Yongyuan, Sa Beining, etc. not only have clear ideas and fluent expressions, but also respond extremely quickly. But do you know? Speaking of which, I want to reveal a secret to you, that is: in fact, all hosts have a worship complex for eloquence! You can't think of it, right? In fact, what you won’t expect is that all those who fear stuttering actually have a worship complex for eloquence that is even greater than that of the host! The reason I mentioned above.

In the program, after the host finished the opening introduction, he asked the stuttering correction doctor to speak and explain the principles of stuttering to the audience. Unexpectedly, the stuttering correction doctor got stuck as soon as he said the first sentence:

"Ah...ah..."

Then he was embarrassed and He lowered his head in shame and stopped talking...

Next were two successful students in the stuttering correction class. The two students spoke very fast and eloquently. They spoke a lot of words in a row with excitement, including comparisons and examples. They were so enjoyable! After finishing speaking, he proudly raised his head, held his chest out, and sat there with a bright smile on his face. The strong aura irradiated the stuttering correction doctor and his aura was completely gone! You know, this is a CCTV program!

How do you feel when you see this?

I am not sure what the stuttering correction doctor was thinking in his heart at that time, but what I can be sure of is: the stuttering correction doctor may be embarrassed because of his stuttering, may be afraid of his stuttering, may be avoiding him because of his stuttering, and may be avoiding him because of his stuttering. Suffering from stuttering!

So what about the two stuttering correction students?

Of course they speak extremely fluently. You know, being fluent in speech, humorous, good at teasing, and full of routines are the splendid life pursued by those who fear stuttering!

But! Be ashamed of stuttering and be proud of not stuttering. This is actually the biggest misunderstanding among those who fear stuttering!

In my opinion, there is only one criterion for a person to get rid of the fear of stuttering: no longer afraid of stuttering!

On the contrary, if a person is still afraid of stuttering and is still afraid of stuttering, then I'm sorry, he has not got rid of the fear of stuttering at all!

Stuttering is like this, and social fear is also like this.

I once had a client who was a psychological counselor in Baidu Tieba. He helped people suffering from social anxiety to treat social anxiety in Baidu Tieba.

Yes, you read that right! In his post on Baidu Tieba, he helps people who are troubled by social fears and treats them!

When you see this, you may have questions: Eh? Why should he turn to you for help when he can help others with their social fears? Does he still have social anxiety? You may find it hard to believe the reason for this! I don’t want to scare you, but as a helper and a psychological counselor, out of professional ethics and professional ethics as well as my personal love and sense of responsibility to society, I also want to reveal a secret for you objectively and realistically. The truth - this counselor is a severely socially phobic person who has been unable to leave the house for 5 years!

Later the consultant asked me what should I do? I suggest that he can get rid of social fear only by coming for on-the-spot training. Only by coming for on-the-spot training can he understand that one ton of theory is not as good as one ounce of action! But he still did not come to participate in our practical courses because he was afraid or did not dare to face something.

Are you scared? This is such a ridiculous fact! A person with severe social phobia who has been unable to leave home for 5 years actually helps others treat their social phobia in the virtual world! I don’t know how many counselors there are on the Internet who hide behind the Internet like this!

Everyone needs to understand that the psychological counseling industry is filled with too many people who are just pretending to be fake. You can search for psychological treatments online, and you will find a lot of them, a large area of ??them, and a truckload of them, just like I joked about it in the open class. The book stall of Morita Therapy sells it for 2 cents a book. Why is it so cheap? Because it’s too redundant! Too overwhelming!

Everyone must understand that psychology has a short history, many schools, and schools of thought are incompatible with each other. There has never been a standardized environment. As a result, many so-called psychological counselors have no real talent and knowledge and are fishing in troubled waters. Therefore, everyone must understand that although some psychological workers experience social phobia, they may not be free of the problem themselves. They may still be trapped in the maze of social phobia. Otherwise, Psychological Chicken Soup would not regard social phobia as a cancer of the soul.

Everyone must understand that not every counselor is qualified to help others! To understand a consultant, we do not need to know his academic qualifications, whether he is a returnee from overseas, whether he has a doctorate, whether he is a hospital, whether he is a consultant, whether his theory is advanced or not. It’s about whether this counselor is a real helper and a real guide! Is he a real person? Because only those who have truly experienced it can do it and are qualified to help troubled people who really need help! Not just anyone who spends thousands of dollars to buy a certificate!

Psychotherapy has only been developed in China for a short time and is not mature enough in many aspects. But I hope that every person who helps people will know whether they are qualified to help others before deciding to engage in the psychological counseling industry. If a psychological worker is still in trouble, how can he help others? You may have questions after seeing this, and you may think: Then why do some seekers end up unfortunately finding such incompetent counselors?

There are at least three reasons for this:

First, the personality of sociophobic people has serious cognitive misunderstandings, immature minds, and low identification ability. The characteristics are enough to make them get lost in seeking help, just like some people take medicine or have surgery because of nervousness about speaking.

Second, the real successful people in social terrorism and those who have experienced it will not overemphasize the importance of theory. On the contrary, those so-called counselors who are in misunderstandings and do not understand social fear can only use invalid theories to prevaricate the seekers because they have no skills. They emphasize the importance of theory, especially the psychological chicken soup theory that copies books. The characteristics of learning theory, listening to theory or starting from small things in life, which are simple and easy but ineffective or have extremely poor results, resonate with the timid and fearful personality of people with social phobia, which makes it easy for them to get into trouble. The troubled person chooses the wrong direction and takes the wrong path.

Thirdly, the short history of psychology, the uneven quality of personnel, the lack of personal transcendence experience, etc... are all the reasons for the lack of professional skills.

Because before the birth of "Anfeng Beyond Technology", there was no set of professional technology for social phobia in the world! It is more of a psychotherapy theory, so the probability of a seeker encountering psychological chicken soup is greater!

Although social fear is uncomfortable, painful, and scary, this is true. But solving social fears is not as difficult as psychotherapy says, but it is very simple, and it only takes 5 days at most!

?1: Why is social phobia called a world problem in psychotherapy? ?

To be honest, those counselors in the psychotherapy field lack direct experience in self-transcendence of social phobia, so without experience, there is no effective technology, let alone solving the problem of social phobia! An Feng has always had a point of view that a real social terror guide, a real social terror veteran, does not just use theoretical techniques to counsel troubled people, but more importantly, he should use his person to comprehensively influence the seekers.

Including

what he usually does,

his usual words and deeds, every move, every frown, every smile,

His every expression, every movement,

His bearing,

His demeanor,

His small universe,

His spirit,

his soul,

his sincerity... come to infect those who seek help.

Only in this way can the sociophobic people truly change! This is a bit like the principle that teaching by example is more important than teaching by words. Obviously, there is probably no such person in the psychotherapy world. What kind of person? Of course, he is a successful person who transcends social fears or stutters and transcends himself! Therefore, if there are no real people who have experience in the psychotherapy field and no real experience, it will be difficult to solve the problem of social fear and stuttering. That's why social anxiety and stuttering are called "world problems" by psychotherapy!

Without experience, there is no understanding without experience!

For example, an expert who plays antiques is very confident when talking about antiques, but if you ask him to talk about 5G, he may not understand it. It is easy for us to directly feel his dissatisfaction from his state. Good at. For another example, the experience of a marriage and family counselor who has experienced various ups and downs in marriage and finally achieved a happy, happy and sweet married life will make him very professional!

Therefore, being good at, understanding, and professional must come from successful direct experience!

Just imagine:

Would you find a master of ceremonies who has never officiated a wedding and only read relevant books to preside over your wedding?

I have only seen that the first requirement for wedding companies to recruit wedding officiants is more than 200 wedding officiating experience!

Would you find someone who has never been in the ring and has only read relevant books to teach you how to box?

I have only seen fake experts who have never been in the ring get knocked out in one second by the opponent's boxer!

Would you find someone who has no experience in transcending social fear and has only read psychology books to help you transcend social fear?

I have only seen counselors who do not understand social phobia mislead people and waste their youth and lives with chicken soup!

How can a counselor who has only learned a little knowledge of psychology say he understands social anxiety? These are completely two fields.

To be very objective and realistic, before the birth of "An Feng Beyond Technology", there was no set of professional techniques for solving social phobia in the world.

Two: Classification of Problems

Psychotherapy counselors don’t understand social anxiety at all! They don't seem to understand even the most basic issues of social terrorism. Their understanding of social terror only remains at the most superficial level! In fact, not only psychological counselors, but also people with social phobia themselves do not understand social phobia. Do you believe it or not? If you don’t believe me, let me ask you a few questions,

The first question:

What would you do if you couldn’t solve a math problem? If you think carefully or look up information until you finally figure out the math problem, the problem will be solved, right? Yes! Because mathematical problems are just mathematical problems, and mathematical problems are just theoretical problems, this problem only stays at the theoretical level. Once the theory is clear, the thinking is clear, and the mathematical problems are clear, the problem will naturally be solved.

Second question:

What would you do if you purchased a spinning bike online and needed to assemble it when it arrived? Can you assemble a spinning bike just by thinking? Definitely not, because after all, you don’t have special powers. You can’t control matter with your thoughts, right? So what to do? Yes, you must assemble it with your hands and take action, right? ! Definitely not, absolutely not, you must not just understand the instructions and just understand the structure of the car and then install it automatically, right? Regarding this issue, if we have figured it out, we can understand it as understanding the instructions, which is just the theory. But is your problem solved? Not really! Because after all, the car is still falling apart. If you want to assemble a spinning bicycle, only part of the problem will be solved after passing the theory, a very small part! Because after all, even if this spinning bike is in your mind, I haven’t even thought about assembling it! Because this is a concrete issue.

There is a third question:

Suppose you are dissatisfied with your body like the skinny, scrawny, skinny me in the past. Because my figure is not good, I feel very inferior because of my bad figure. What do you do if you want to gain body confidence? Do you read bodybuilding books? For example, magazines like "Body and Beauty" and "Mr. Bodybuilder"? Thinking about it, these two books should have been secretly read by me since I was about 14 years old, then bought and read blatantly, and then I would buy every issue of the magazine as a must-read! I sleep and forget to eat because of "Fitness and Beauty", and I am obsessed with "Mr. Bodybuilder". I have always dreamed of having a physique like Schwarzenegger!

I will study the articles in magazines carefully,

I will browse the pictures in magazines carefully,

But I am still not satisfied with my figure. In the past,

I was still deeply moved by my thin body.

In fact, the reason is too simple.

Because... my figure will not change just because I read bodybuilding magazines!

(The above rhyme is purely improvised)

So how can you gain body confidence? Even children will know it! If you want to gain body confidence, you don’t just need to read magazines, articles, pictures and theories! You have to go to the gym in person and have direct contact with the fitness equipment before your body will change. Only when your body changes will you gain body confidence! Is it simple? Too simple, right?

In fact, the same is true for social terror!

But when it comes to the simple "complex issue" of social fear, everyone is fooled by those psychological chicken soups and is confused!

It’s okay, please continue following my ideas!

Let’s look at the fourth question:

What would you do if you wanted to overcome your fear of speaking? Based on the first three questions I raised, everyone must understand this time: It is a very stupid approach to hope to gain eloquence by reading books such as speeches!

An Feng has given more than 1,000 super speeches! It is no exaggeration at all, I can compete with any public speaking master! But I almost never read books on speeches and the like. I wouldn't even give a bird's eye glance at those books, such as eloquence training, teaching you how to make a speech, give a speech in this way, or that way. The only book about speeches I ever bought was when I was browsing Taobao for free and was attracted by the title of a TED speech. I bought a book called "The Power of Speech" written by the founder of TED speech. . It is undeniable that the title of this book is well received, and the title attracted 0.1% of my attention. So I bought this book while browsing.

I read this book carefully after I bought it home. I found that some aspects of the author’s views are like the scenery I have experienced in the past, such as his view: speech = chat, etc. . I also used to think that speaking = chatting. Open heart chatting is a state of speech. But in my current opinion, I don’t agree with some of his views. For example, he said in the book: The highest state of speech is impromptu speech.

But in my opinion, impromptu speaking is by no means the highest state of speech! Although I mistakenly believed that impromptu speaking was the highest state of speech a long time ago, after I experienced more than 1,000 super speeches and after being on the battlefield, I came to a new understanding, speech The highest realm is a higher level than impromptu speech: soul speech! Yes! Soul Speech is a concept I came up with!

With all due respect, I think the founder of TED speeches did not understand the speeches well enough! I also think traditional speaking is not a good training!

So you see, even the founder of the TED speech that many people admire has a biased understanding of the art of speaking, not to mention that he has never been on stage, has 0 stage experience, and has Are you a novice who is afraid of speaking? How many speech books have you read just to understand speech? No elementary school student would believe it! However, many sociophobic people believe this! !

The examples I gave above can more fully illustrate such a theory: "An Feng Beyond Technology" divides the problems in the world into three types,

They are: : 1 Theoretical problem 2 Realistic problem 3 In-depth problem

It can be understood simply as:

Problems that can be solved by theory are called theoretical problems.

We need to use action methods to solve specific things that happen in real life. This is called a specific problem.

Problems such as social anxiety, fear of speaking, self-confidence, low self-esteem, self-acceptance, etc. are - in-depth questions!

Chairman Mao once said that if you want to understand something, you must have direct and head-on contact with it!

In other words, if you want to solve a problem, if you want to handle a thing or a person, you must at least understand him first! The reason why some confused people are obsessed with the straight man pretending to be a girl on the other side of the Internet. The reason why you are deceived by them, played with your feelings by them, or you still don’t know what to do and you still have to marry them home without mercy is because you haven’t seen their true colors and haven’t had direct contact with them. Will you be deceived if you understand them? Just like Ah Chun in Douyin.

What is the difference between this and social phobia people dreaming about using theory (invalid theory) to solve social fear!

How can you know and understand if you have never really been in contact with it?

How can you understand if you have never had direct contact with it?

How can you understand if you have never had direct contact with it?

How can you understand it if you have never had direct contact with it?

Three: Why do some people with social phobia think that theory can solve social phobia?

On the one hand, my job is to help people with "Anfeng Transcendence Technology", and on the other hand, it is to let more people know about "Anfeng Transcendence Technology". As "Anfeng Beyond Technology" becomes more and more known and recognized by people, many people have understood the simple yet profound truth that using theory (invalid theory) to solve social anxiety is the biggest misunderstanding! So, why do many people with social phobia have to be so backward and stubbornly believe that theory (invalid theory) can solve social phobia? The fundamental reason is of course human nature's tendency to seek happiness and avoid suffering, and the cowardice and low self-esteem of those with social phobia to avoid it! But there is another angle that can reflect and illustrate this point more clearly.

Everyone knows the law of attraction, which means that people with similar auras will attract each other. To put it bluntly, people are divided into groups.

The reason why people with social phobia think that theory (invalid theory) can solve social phobia is actually a deep-rooted wrong and fixed thinking of theirs:

The key to psychological problems is cognitive problems. Eliminate bias - cognition is theory - once the theory is learned, cognition changes - once cognition changes, psychological problems are solved.

Is this what you think? !

Remember! The cognition in the book is other people’s cognition! It’s not your perception! Others' direct experience is only your indirect experience. This is clearly stated in Mao Zedong's "On Practice"! To understand him, you must contact him! Light contact is not enough but correct contact is also required! Is it possible to just read and listen to books at home?

The key point: the books and theories you listen to are not correct at all!

Continue again.

So where did their inherent concept come from? Of course it is psychotherapy, and where does psychotherapy come from? Of course it was researched by people. Who researched it? Think about it...

That’s it for now. In fact, it has already been introduced in the previous article.

Four: Levels and Realms of Solving Social Fear

In An Feng’s view, changes in social fear can be divided into three levels, three levels, and three realms.

The lowest level: no technology

Psychotherapy theory belongs to this level, and even the theoretical aspects are not relevant. So those poor people who believe in psychotherapy don’t even understand what social phobia is in theory!

A higher level: ineffective techniques

In the practice of psychotherapy, let nature take its course and do what you should do, make a little progress every day, life is the king, this is the level. How stupid!

Another level higher: effective technology

This is obviously a level higher than the previous two levels. Seekers can learn effective theories and take effective actions. We call this level “understanding”. This is the effect our online classes can help you achieve - get rid of social fear!

The highest level: correct technology

This level is the highest level, the highest level, and the highest realm! The troubled person can make the right actions and make the right social contacts. We call this level "comprehension".

This is a professional level that only "Anfeng Beyond Technology" can achieve! Only when you reach this level can you truly feel what social fear is, what transcending social fear is, what confidence is, and what freedom is! Only then can we reach the highest realm - transcending social fear!

Let’s see, the first two levels are actually called chicken soup. Chicken soup actually refers to invalid theories and actions, as well as useless non-professional techniques. The essence of chicken soup is actually a placebo! It made sense to be comforted at the time, but it still doesn't work after that, because you haven't changed at all! Remember this sentence: No matter how beautiful the invalid theory is, it is also nihilistic!

So, chicken soup misleads people, chicken destroys people!

Remember,

The connotation of chicken soup is invalid lay theory!

Chicken soup is essentially a placebo!

The consequences of chicken soup are misleading and destroying others!

Many people have delayed their youthful life by eating chicken soup, wasted a lot of energy on chicken soup, and consumed too much of their lives because of chicken soup! But the vast majority of people seeking help do not know how to identify chicken soup and have no discernment. But An Feng likes to tell the truth and tell the truth. Here An Feng wants to reveal the true face of chicken soup to everyone! So I’m here to tell you how to make chicken soup at home. How to identify chicken soup? An Feng tells everyone: Remember! For social fear, the carrier of Chicken Soup is actually psychotherapy and Chicken Soup online classes.

In fact, for the problem of social phobia, psychological chicken soup has nothing at all...

Objectively speaking, social phobia should not be solved with psychotherapy!

Some friends may ask after seeing this, is it really true that chicken soup in the heart does not help society at all? You must understand that psychotherapy theory is just a psychological theory, not a social phobia theory. Both theories are wrong. Do you think it can be helpful? Will a patient who wants to go to the rheumatology and immunology department go fishing in a pond for treatment?

If I had to give a specific effect ratio, I think the role of psychotherapy in treating social phobia is less than 5%! And it’s a long process, it’s true!

Let me say it again: Psychotherapy theory is just a psychotherapy theory, not a social phobia theory!

Due to the long-term influence of psychological culture, some people around the world still mistakenly believe that psychotherapy is a way to solve social phobia. They need to learn theories, do consultations, and listen to online courses. It is the solution to social fear.

But it doesn’t matter. What’s gratifying is that “Anfeng Beyond Technology” has really helped too many people with social anxiety to transcend social anxiety! Upgraded life! I will also step up and speed up this road, this true road of helping others, to move forward courageously! Because An Feng understands what people with social anxiety need!

Remember, invalid theory cannot help people get rid of social fear! Overcoming social anxiety relies on professional techniques!

Beyond social fear, upgrade Superman for up to 5 days!

October 24, 2020 in Beijing