In education, outstanding parents only do three things. Parents treat their children in three ways: First, they manage everything and always manage everything, and do a lot of things, but the effect is not good; Second, nothing is done, nothing is done, and the result is even worse. Third, it is also in charge, but it is not all in charge. It is not done much, but it is all to the point, and the child's growth is smooth.

obviously, "doing everything" and "doing nothing" are too extreme, biased and undesirable. Outstanding parents always choose to "do something and not do something", more specifically, only do three things.

the first thing: cultivate a good parent-child relationship

A good relationship is better than many educations. When parents have a good relationship with their children, the education of their children will be easy to succeed; When the relationship with children is not good, the education of children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "positioning":

1. Don't be a "judge" and learn to be a "lawyer"

Some parents can't wait to be a "judge" when they see something wrong with their children, which is very dangerous.

Children's inner world is rich and colorful. Parents should actively influence and educate their children. Without understanding their inner world, it is impossible to talk about it. The first key to understanding children is to care for their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends.

That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers" and understand their inner needs, and always take safeguarding their legal rights as their sole purpose.

2. Don't be a "referee" and learn to be a "cheerleader"

In the arena of life, children can only work hard by themselves. Parents should be "cheerleaders" for their children, not only be good at discovering and praising their children, but also guide them to face failure correctly and be their comrades-in-arms before setbacks.

3. Don't be an "animal trainer" and learn to be a "mirror"

Children can only overcome themselves by knowing themselves, but they can usually only know themselves by feedback from others. At this time, the "feedback" role of parents, that is, the role of mirrors, is very important.

instead of being an "animal trainer", learn to be a "mirror" to help children improve their self-awareness and make them communicate with their parents instead of being afraid of their parents' "authority".

education is divided into three parts and seven parts. "Wait a minute" is very useful. For example, if we are bitten by a mosquito, we will be fine soon, but it will take a long time to get well if we always scratch it. The reason is that the human body has a certain self-healing function. Being bitten by mosquitoes will soon get better, and applying external force will only be counterproductive.

the same is true of education. Stop, wait, give your child a chance to talk, communicate effectively with your child, and solve the problem without education.

the second thing: cultivate children's good habits

habits determine the fate of children, and nothing is more important than habit formation. If parents don't pay attention to cultivating their children's good habits, they are undoubtedly ruining their children's bright future.

1. Everything starts with habit cultivation

Cultivation education is a lifelong education. Intellectual education is a good habit of thinking, moral education is a small habit of behavior, and quality education is more reflected in people's small behavior.

A lot of facts have proved that habit is a tenacious force that can dominate a person's life. Everything about children begins with habit cultivation.

2. Habits are not built in a day.

Habits are a big problem and great wisdom. The formation of good habits is by no means a day's work. Its main principles are: low starting point, strict requirements, small steps, fast pace, more activities, seeking change, quick feedback and diligent correction.

the key to habit formation is in the first three days, and it is decided in one month. Parents should fully respect their children's rights and let them play the role of masters in habit formation.

3. Cultivate character through habit

Education is like sailing on the sea, and you must follow the correct route, otherwise, the bigger the ship, the more dangerous it is to hit the rocks and sink.

people's quality determines their development direction. One of the core tasks of family education is to train children to become real people. However, the cultivation of personality is usually difficult to implement in specific operations.

However, the researchers found that habit and personality complement each other, habit affects personality, and personality affects habit even more. Decent, honest, responsible, caring, cooperative spirit, efficiency and other qualities can be cast through habit cultivation.

the third thing: guide children to learn to learn

it is an important duty of parents to attract children to love learning and guide them to learn to learn, which is also the real charm of parents.

1. There is a reason why children are tired of learning.

Leave it alone and let it be chic; If you don't care about it, you will get beans; Nagging and cursing, wantonly beating and swearing; Instead of arranging things, make "machines" ... If parents adopt such unwise practices, they will only make their children less and less fond of learning.

children's dislike of learning is only a superficial phenomenon, and there must be a reason behind it: did they not develop good study habits? Did you not find the best aspect of your child? Is there no scientific use of brain? Are parents hindering children's nature of "playing middle school"? It is the child who doesn't realize that learning is his own business ... Finding the reasons behind it can help the child get out of the shadow of being tired of learning.

2. Children's curiosity and learning potential can be stimulated.

Children's lack of curiosity is usually not influenced by parents or strict requirements, but hinders their interest.

Interest (curiosity), dreams, sense of accomplishment, questioning, gratitude, enthusiasm and anger are all channels to dredge and inspire children's thirst for knowledge. For children, the so-called competitive advantage is the effective development of potential. Mood, enlightenment, suggestion, reverie, perseverance and planning are the six principles to stimulate children's learning potential.

Although there is no absolute "timetable" for potential development, there are steps, such as setting goals, controlling emotions, sharpening will and focusing on one point, which are very important.

3. There is a way for children to get the first place in the exam.

"Love learning" is the premise of "learning", and "learning" is the guarantee of "love learning", and "learning" can "learn well".

If children want to get the first place in the exam, they must master some decisive methods, such as finishing as planned, writing carefully, reading textbooks slowly, sorting out wrong questions, taking notes at hand, helping classmates selflessly, taking exams efficiently, and writing freely.

At present, many parents have entered a new misunderstanding in educating their children, that is, blindly following or even being obsessed with the so-called successful parenting experience, but these experiences sound easier than doing. Because they are not "transferable", if they just clone and imitate blindly, they will not only fail to be implemented on their own children, but will be easy to "learn to walk" and backfire.

The most useful real things need to be considered and refined. Educating children is not as complicated as parents think. It is not a distant dream to grasp the three major events of parent-child relationship, habit cultivation and learning. Parents become outstanding parents and children become outstanding children.