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Why do some parents look down on their promising daughters when it is clear that their sons are extremely unproductive and useless? If son is more capable, son is preferred to daughter.

This is a part of the preface written by Yang Jiang for the besieged city of Qian Zhongshu. There are many stories between their husband and wife and Qian Zhongshu's relatives. I always think this preface is very good, but it is difficult to find the full version on the Internet. Deal with it! Qian Zhongshu wrote Fortress Besieged. In the preface of Fortress Besieged, Qian Zhongshu said that this book was written by him "penny wise and pound foolish". I finished reading it "penny wise and pound foolish". Every night, he showed me the written manuscript and eagerly watched how I reacted. I smiled and he smiled. I laugh, and he laughs. Sometimes I put down my manuscript and laugh at him, because I laugh not only at things in the book, but also at things outside the book. I don't need to explain what I'm laughing at, but I understand each other. Then he tells me what he plans to write in the next paragraph, and I'm eagerly waiting to see how he writes. He writes about 5 words every day on average. He shows me the final version, and he doesn't change it. Later, he does little work on this novel and other things. If I can't read it, he has to add notes. But among readers of Fortress Besieged, I have become the highest standard. For example, a bachelor is familiar with the origin of words and phrases in ancient poetry, and I am familiar with the origin of characters and plots in the story. Besides the author himself, it's me who is most qualified to annotate Fortress Besieged. Zhong Shu and I first met in Tsinghua in the spring of 1932, got engaged in 1933, got married in 1935, and were on the same boat. I went to France in the autumn of 1937 and returned to China in the same boat in the autumn of 1938. My mother died a year ago, and my home in Suzhou was robbed by the Japanese invaders. My father took refuge in Shanghai and stayed with my brother-in-law. I was anxious to save my father, Zhong Shu got off the boat in Hong Kong and went to Kunming. I went directly to Shanghai by the original boat. At that time, the headmaster of my alma mater left me to set up a "branch school" in the "isolated island" of Shanghai. Two years later, Shanghai fell, "branch school" Amateur drama creation. Zhong Shu fell into Shanghai and had no job. My father gave him his teaching hours at Aurora Women's College of Arts and Sciences, and we lived hard in Shanghai. Once, we watched the drama I wrote, and when I got home, he said, "I want to write a novel!" I was very happy and urged him to write quickly. At that time, he was stealing time to write short stories, fearing that he didn't have time to write long stories. I said it didn't matter, he could reduce the teaching time, and our life was very frugal, and we could be more frugal. It happened that our maid had to go back because of the improvement of her hometown life. I didn't force her, and I didn't find another maid. I only took her job as a part-time job. I was an amateur, and I often dyed soot. Chang often has no interest, so he does, and his uncle is the "worthless" eldest son. He is fourteen years older than Zhong Shu's father, and his second uncle died early. His father went to the second place, and his uncle went to the fourth place. They were twins, and Zhong Shu was the eldest grandson, and gave birth to Chang. Uncle went to the countryside in the rain all night to find a strong peasant woman for Zhong Shu. She is a widow, and died after her posthumous birth. She is a ready-made good wet nurse (Zhong Shu called her "mother"). After middle age, her mother used to be dull for a while every year, and her family called her "stupid mother". Before Zhong Shu got married, she specially bought a jade ring with gold, and prepared to give it to me as a gift. Someone tricked her into believing that it was a fake and cheated her out of the ring. I don't lose my feelings with my cousins. There are ten brothers and cousins, and Zhong Shuju is the longest. Among all the brothers, he is childish and blunt. When he studies diligently, he doesn't care about anything, puts down his books, and is all serious. It seems that he has a lot of extra interest and loves to talk nonsense. The money family loves to say that he ate the milk of a stupid mother and is "crazy". We Including many meanings: crazy, silly, foolish, childish, naughty and so on. His parents sometimes say that he is "obsessed with jumping", "obsessed with dancing" and "obsessed with writing" (meaning "I don't know the correct words, but only writes according to the local accent). He is really not like his mother. He is not as serious as his father. His mother often complains that his father is "stupid". Perhaps Zhong Shu's "infatuation" and his father's simple and honest are in the same strain. I have seen old photos of their family. His younger brothers are lean and strong, but he is thin and good-looking. I think the "infatuation" at that time was just childish and foolish, but not naughty. Zhong Shu Someone just sent a Changzhou Philosophers Series, and his uncle named him "Yang Xian" with the word "Zhe Liang". However, with the scientific name "Zhong Shu" at the age of one, "Yang Xian" became a nickname and was called "A Xian". But "Xian Er" and "Xian Ge" seemed to be "dead children" and "dead brothers". I also saw those notebooks and the letters posted on them.) After my uncle died, his father changed the word "silent" for him because Zhong Shu loved talking nonsense, telling him to talk less. Zhong Shu said to me, "Actually, I like' Zhe Liang', which is both good and philosophical-I can still see the' Zhe Liang' written by my uncle in my exercise book." This may be because he misses my uncle. It often makes him bad-if he is naughty, it can be considered bad. "Silent storage" is obviously useless. My uncle is "worthless" and can't be favored by his parents. Half of the reasons are also in my aunt's family. My aunt's family is a rich man in Jiangyin, who makes a fortune as a pigment dealer, and there are seven or eight big ships carrying goods. Zhong Shu's grandmother's family is a bamboo slips in Shitang Bay, a bureaucratic landlord, and a bully. Her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law look down on each other. Because Zhong Shu's grandfather, although he has two brothers who won the lottery, is just a scholar himself. Zhong Shu was less than one year old, and his grandmother died. Grandfather always disliked his eldest son, and Zhong Shu was also an unloved grandson. Zhong Shu was taught to read at the age of four (I used the nominal age in my calendar, because Zhong Shu only remembered the nominal age, and Zhong Shu was born in late November in the solar calendar, so he was reduced by one or two years). Uncle was the one who taught him to read. Zhong Shu went with him. His father was inconvenient to interfere, and he was afraid of spoiling his children, so he suggested sending them to primary school as soon as possible. Zhong Shu entered Qin's primary school at the age of six. Now when he saw people talking about "comparative literature", he remembered to make a sentence in primary school: "Dogs are bigger than cats, and cows are bigger than sheep"; There was a classmate who was just "the dog is bigger than the dog and the dog is smaller than the dog" and got a scolding from the teacher. He had been in school for less than half a year, and he got sick, so his uncle could not bear to let him go to school, so he was suspended from school at home. He was seven years old, and he was attached to a private school in a relative's house with his brother Zhong Han, who was half a year younger than him. He read Mao Shi and Zhong Han read Er Ya. Of course, my father and uncle dare not object. In fact, Zhong Shu's father was enlightened by a clan brother. My grandfather thought Zhong Shu's father was stupid, his uncle was clever, and his uncle's writing style was not good. His uncle was clever anyway, so it was just as well to be taught by his uncle. My father is stupid, so I have to ask a brother who is good at arts and sciences to teach him. That brother is very strict, and Zhong Shu's father got beaten up many times. My uncle felt sorry for his brother and begged his grandfather to let both brothers be taught by him. Zhong Shu's father got beaten up by his brother, but he didn't complain at all, but he didn't understand. He told Zhong Shu, "Somehow, one day he was beaten up suddenly." Zhong Shu. My uncle is in charge of housework. Every morning, my uncle goes to the teahouse to drink tea, do chores, or chat with acquaintances. Zhong Shu always goes with him. My uncle changes a copper coin and gives him a big shortcake to eat (according to Zhong Shubi, the shortcake is the size of a rice bowl, but I don't know if it's really that big or the size of a cake in a child's mind); He changed two coppers and rented a novel from a small bookshop or bookstall for him to read. The only novels at home are serious novels such as The Journey to the West, The Water Margin and The Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Zhong Shu has started to gulp down such novels at home and read "the same idiot" as "the son of a fool". I don't know that the "idiot" in The Journey to the West is Zhu Bajie. Zhong Shu. A blank sheet of paper with the names and properties of medicines printed on it. Every time you take a medicine, you can save a stack of paper wrapped with medicines. This kind of paper is clean and absorbent. When Zhong Shu was about eight or nine years old, he often used the paper wrapped with medicines to copy mustard seed garden hidden by his uncle, or the "painting in a poem" printed in 3 Tang Poems. He came up with a nickname for himself-because. He is very proud. He often has an interest in "Xiang Angzhi", but he hates not being good at painting. He once begged his daughter, who was studying in middle school at that time, to copy several famous western naughty paintings for him, one of which was "The Devil's Leaving the Scent" (the title of which was invented by me). The devil escaped with air at the back, and the painting was wonderful. In class, he painted "The Change of Eyes" and Yang's daughter copied "The Devil's Scent" In fact, he studies out of preference, just like a glutton: he eats a lot of food, but he doesn't choose the essence and coarseness, and it is sweet and salty. He can also laugh at extremely vulgar books. He not only watches and laughs at jokes in operas, but also plays them again and again, laughing until he falls down. He eats and eats most works such as subtle and profound philosophy, aesthetics, literary theory and so on, just like children eat snacks. Poetry is his favorite reading. Big dictionaries, dictionaries, encyclopedias, etc., which are too heavy to carry, he not only read the letters one by one, but also took the trouble to add new entries to old books. He often took notes when reading. I only saw him study hard once. That was in Oxford, where he had to take the course of "Version and Collation" in order to be able to identify the manuscripts since the 15th century. He I was dancing and kicking in my sleep, but I didn't know whether to catch the murderer or fight with him. As a result, I failed the exam and had to make up the exam after the summer vacation. This make-up exam was also mentioned in the introduction to the English version of Fortress Besieged. Zhong Shu visited the United States in 1979, and the publisher of the translation showed him the introduction to the translation. He was surprised and laughed when he read this paragraph, but he didn't expect the investigation to be so precise. Later, Only then did he know that it was Donald Stuart, an old friend of Zhong Shu's in Oxford. In Qian Zhongshu, published by Hu Zhide in 1982, it was deleted. Zhong Shu's "chi qi" book could not be filled, but it overflowed. When we were in Oxford, he took a nap and I posted it, but when he was writing and writing, he fell asleep. When he woke up, he saw me sleeping, and he was full. He wanted to draw a painted face for me. But I woke up as soon as he put pen to paper. He didn't expect my face to eat more ink than rice paper and wash ink stains. My face was as fast as paper. Later, he stopped playing pranks and only drew a portrait for me, adding glasses and a beard to chat. After returning to China, he returned to Shanghai in the summer vacation, and his daughter was asleep (she was still a doll) on a hot day. He drew a big face on her belly. His superfluous "infatuation" is often vented on his uncle's children, grandchildren and his daughter, Ayuan. This string of children are two years apart from each other and often play together. Some languages are on the edge of "uncivilized" or "smelly", so they pay attention to taboos like sensible people. Zhong Shu makes tricks, or gestures, or cuts, to induce them to say it, just because they say ". He also pretends to be a winner. He teases his daughter to play. Every day before going to bed, he buries "mines" in her bed, one layer at a time, burying all kinds of toys, mirrors, brushes, even inkstones or a lot of brushes. When his daughter screams, he is elated. When her daughter goes to bed, she must search carefully and take out everything in the quilt. Zhong Shu can't wait to put a broom and dustpan. Win an unexpected victory. It's not much fun to play this kind of thing every day, but Zhong Shu never tires of playing it. He told his daughter that there is an ugly child in Fortress Besieged, that is, she. Ah Yuan believed it, but she didn't care. He wrote an opening Lily Heart, in which a girl wore a purple sweater, and Zhong Shu told Ah Yuan that it was the most annoying child, that is, her. Zhong Shu hid the manuscript in a different place every day. One hid and the other searched, which became a hide-and-seek game. Later, even I didn't know where the manuscript was hidden. Zhong Shu's "infatuation" was also strange. He seriously told me: "If we have another child, it may be better than A Yuan, we will like that child, so how can we live up to A Yuan?" It has never been said that our parents only gave birth to one child in order to be single-minded. After liberation, we raised a very clever cat in Tsinghua. The kitten climbed the tree for the first time and was afraid to come down. Zhong Shu managed to save it. After the kitten came down, it gently and softly put its claws on Zhong Shu's wrist to express its gratitude. We often quote the western proverb: "Hell is full of ungrateful people." The kitten knows feelings, and Zhong Shu says it is spiritual and special. Fighting with other cats in the middle of the night. Zhong Shu specially prepared a bamboo pole and leaned against the door. No matter how cold it was, when she heard the cat barking, she hurried out of the hot bed, took the bamboo pole and went out to help her cat fight. One of her rival in love with our cat was the baby cat next to Ms. Lin Huiyin, who was called the "focus of love" of her family. I was often afraid that Zhong Shu would hurt the harmony between the two families for the cat. (The first sentence of Cats), he said with a smile, "Theories are always formulated by people who don't practice." The Qian family often said that Zhong Shu is "stupid and blessed". As a bookworm, he is really a bit stupid. The books for him to read are as rich as the rich's "hit food" and will be supplied from all sides (except during the period of decentralization, he has to read them like a ruminant) /Zhong Shu went to high school for four years and actually graduated. Zhong Han made great achievements and was among the best; He's just a stupid boy. When his uncle was alive, he was ashamed and worthless. He was afraid that "geomantic omen on the grave" would bring trouble to Zhong Shu, the heir. It turned out that the rows of trees at the bottom of his ancestral grave were tall and lush, and the trees at the top were tiny and weak. Of course, the trees at the top represented the growth. My uncle privately paid several kilograms of hair to the barber shop at one time, calling them one.